The Search (35 page)

Caleb Zook said no to Billy and Betsy’s engagement. He explained gently that he felt they needed more time, especially after Betsy’s very recent time spent running around. This time next year, if they still felt the same way, then he would be pleased to marry them. After Betsy went through instructions for baptism, of course.

Billy was visibly relieved. He even felt as if his shirt collar wasn’t tightening up on him, like he’d been feeling for a few weeks now. He tried to encourage Betsy on the buggy ride home, but she was stunned silent.

When they got to her parents’ home, she stayed in the buggy, her eyes on the back end of the horse, and calmly said, “We should elope.”

There wasn’t much Billy would refuse Betsy, but that was one thing he was firm about. “Oh no. We don’t go against the bishop. I don’t aim to start a marriage off on the wrong foot.” He glanced at her. “To tell you the truth, I agree with Caleb. I always hoped to marry you, Betsy, but I imagined it in a few more years, after I turned twenty-one.” He gently stroked her cheek. “We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us.”

She kept her chin tucked to her chest. “My whole life starts now.” She turned to him then and gave him a deep, searching look. “You’re a very nice boy, Billy. But you’re still just a boy.” Then she hopped out of the buggy without a word and walked to her house.

He had the strangest feeling that she was saying one thing but trying to tell him something else entirely.

The next week, Betsy Mast left again. Maggie hurried over to Rose Hill Farm to tell Bess the news. She found Bess in the backyard, taking down laundry from the clothesline just as the gray sky began to darken to twilight.

“Betsy’s gone to stay with an aunt in Maryland.”

“Oh,” Bess said.

“An
aunt
,” Maggie stressed, whispering in a low, conspiratorial voice.

“So you said.”

“She’s having a baby, Bess.” Maggie’s eyes were bright with the scandalous details.

Bess gasped. “You shouldn’t be spreading tales, Maggie.”

“I’m doing no such thing! I overheard her father talking to my dad. And my dad is the bishop, you know!”

Bess was so surprised that for a second she froze. “Billy’s baby.”
My Billy.

Maggie buried her face in her hands. “No, Bess.
Not
Billy’s.
Think!
That English boy at the Hay and Grain! He just used her and dumped her. He had no intention to marry her. That’s why she came back. She was trying to trick our Billy into marrying her!”

But Bess knew better. “Billy might not have known all the details, but he was still willing, Maggie.” She felt a little sorry for Billy. She even felt a surge of pity for Betsy. Life hadn’t turned out the way Betsy had expected.

Maggie put her hands on her hips. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re over Billy?”

“I guess I am.” And oddly, Bess meant it.

She remembered how she had ached all over at the very thought of him. That soul-deep ache—it was less painful now.

______

Jonah walked up and down the sidewalk in Harrisburg, trying to get the nerve to walk into the Shear Delight Hair Salon. He had never been inside such a place—had never even noticed them before—and he felt a little terrified. He could see women of all ages seated in chairs with large plastic capes around them. Some were sitting under enormous metal globes. He walked past one more time, steeling himself, took a deep breath, and went inside.

The receptionist took one look at this tall, lanky Plain man with a black hat on and her mouth fell open. As she recovered herself she blurted out, “Here for a trim?”

“No!” Jonah answered, flustered. “No . . . I’m here to see, um, Robin and Ally.” He pointed to them toward the back of the long room.

“They’re with clients right now. Have a seat and I’ll tell them you’re here.”

Jonah sat down next to an elderly woman with blue-ish colored hair. The woman kept staring at Jonah. He was accustomed to stares by the English, but he felt his cheeks grow warm. Or maybe it was the sour stink of the place. He had never smelled such toxic fumes before; they made his eyes start to water. He thought the smell of a hog farm was the worst smell on earth, but this hair salon was inching it out. He picked up a magazine, opened it, and quickly dropped it back on the table when he saw the contents in it. He crossed his legs, then uncrossed them, then rubbed his hands together, then tried to look out the window. The blue-haired woman continued to stare at him.

Finally, he heard Robin’s voice ring out loudly from the back of the store. “No way! An orthodox rabbi is here? For us?”

He turned his head toward Robin’s station and rose to his feet as he saw her make her way toward him. He reached out a hand to shake hers, but her hands were covered with black mud.

She lifted her hands in the air. “Sorry. I’m doing a dye job on Mrs. Feinbaum.”

He could tell she didn’t recognize him, but Ally did. She had walked up behind Robin and peered over her shoulder.

“Jonah!” She elbowed Robin. “This is Lainey’s boyfriend.” She turned anxiously to Jonah. “Is Lainey all right?”

“She’s fine,” Jonah said. “I was hoping I could speak to you both. Just for a moment.”

Ally and Robin exchanged a look. A woman in a chair with black mud covering her head was calling for Robin in a worried voice. “I gotta finish up Mrs. Feinbaum, then I can take a break,” Robin said.

Jonah nodded and went back to sit down.

The blue-haired woman continued to stare. “You a Quaker?” she asked in a reedy voice.

“No,” Jonah said. “Amish.”

The woman frowned. “You don’t pay taxes.”

“Yes, I do,” Jonah said patiently.

“You don’t fight in the military.”

“That’s true. But we do serve. As conscientious objectors.”

“Still. Not the same.”

Jonah hoped the conversation could end with that.

“I don’t understand how you can live in this country and reap all the benefits and not do your part.”

Jonah sighed. The fumes in the salon were giving him a headache. He hoped this errand would turn out well. He was starting to think it was a terrible idea.

Just as the blue-haired woman opened her mouth to provide Jonah with another opinion, Ally and Robin approached. He leapt to his feet.

“I’ve only got ten minutes before I need to rinse Mrs. Feinbaum,” Robin said.

Jonah glanced at the blue-haired woman, who was still glaring at him. “Could we go outside?”

Out on the sidewalk, Jonah explained that he and Lainey were planning to be married soon.

Robin frowned. “I figured as much.”

“I came to invite you both to the wedding,” Jonah said.

“Where’s Lainey?” Ally asked. “Why didn’t she come?”

“She doesn’t know I’m here,” Jonah said. “When you left . . . without saying goodbye, I think she felt a little hurt.”

“Couldn’t be helped,” Robin said brusquely. “Your church service took too long. We had to go.”

“Robin,” Ally said in a coaxing tone. She was weakening, Jonah could see by her expression. She looked at him. “That’s awful sweet of you, to come all this way.”

“You are Lainey’s family,” he said. “Just because Lainey is choosing”—he emphasized that word—“to become Amish, it doesn’t mean you won’t continue to be an important part of her life. She . . . we . . . want you to be there. At the wedding. And in her life. In our life.”

“Aw,” Ally said. Her face got all soft and tender. “You really love her, don’t you?”

Robin rolled her eyes. “I gotta get back to Mrs. Feinbaum.” She bit her lip. “We’ll think about it.” She put her hand on the door handle to the hair salon. “I think she’s gonna wake up one day and regret this whole ridiculous phase she’s going through. And then what?”

Ally waited until Robin went inside. “Don’t mind her, Jonah. She’s bitter because she just found out her boyfriend has been cheating on her. As soon as she gets over that, she’ll be happier that Lainey has found true love.”

“Then, you’ll come to the wedding?” he asked.

“Oh . . . I don’t know about that. I guess it depends how long it will take Robin to get over things.” She scrunched up her face. “I’ve found it’s always best to wait until Robin’s not riled up. Then I’ll try talking to her.” She turned to go inside. “No promises. But . . . I’ll try.”

She pulled the door open wide so the blue-haired lady could leave. Jonah saw the lady aim for his direction and he decided now would be an excellent time to return to the bus station and wait for the bus to Stoney Ridge.

Jonah and Lainey decided to let Simon stay in the cottage after they married, with the understanding that he had to take good care of it and he had to start going to church.

Simon looked grieved and shook his fist. “Here it comes. I knew it! I
knew
it! It’s blackmail!”

“We’re not telling you to go to the Amish church,” Jonah explained, “unless, of course, that’s where God’s leading you. But you have to go to some church. You have to worship God.”

“That’s out-and-out blackmail!”

But they held firm and he reluctantly agreed to the conditions.

As Lainey dressed for church one Sunday morning in mid-December, she realized that she no longer felt strange in Plain clothing. In fact, she would feel strange if she weren’t wearing it. When she was in town last week, she noticed the types of clothing that young girls wore, even in winter: miniskirts, low-cut tops. Six months ago she wouldn’t have thought twice about how much skin showed. Now she felt embarrassed for them.

When Jonah and Bess came by to pick her up, she asked Simon—as she always did—if he would like to join them for church. He was seated at the kitchen table, drinking coffee.

He gave her the same answer he had given her for three or four months, “Now, why would I want to do that?”

If she had time to spare, she would try, always without success, to give him reasons why he should come. But today, this special day, she had no time to waste.

She hurried out to the buggy and smiled when she saw Bess and Jonah. She squeezed Bess’s hand. She was so glad they were sharing this day. Today, they were going to be baptized.

“I only wish Mammi were here,” Bess said quietly.

“Knowing my mother,” Jonah said, “she had a hunch this is how things would work out.” He smiled at both of them. “Probably planned it all along.”

For the last few weeks, Lainey and Bess had been attending a class of instruction, studying the Confession of Faith, with the ministers. Yesterday, they had one more opportunity to meet with the ministers and “turn back” if they so desired. The ministers, including the bishop, had emphasized that to them again and again: it was better not to make a vow than to make a vow and later break it. But Lainey and Bess had no doubts.

It was a solemn morning. Lainey and Bess wore new clothing they had made specially: black dresses, black prayer caps, long white organdy aprons, white organdy capes, black stockings, and stiff black oxfords. They filed in and took their seats in the center section near the minister’s bench. They sat silently through the service, heads bowed, in anticipation. When the time came, the deacon left the service and returned with a small pail of water and a tin cup. Caleb turned to Lainey and Bess. He reminded the applicants that the vow they were about to make would be made not to the ministers or to the church but to God. He asked them to kneel if it was still their desire to become members of the body of Christ.

So Bess and Lainey knelt.

Caleb asked them a few simple questions, which they answered. Then, the deacon’s wife untied the ribbons from Lainey’s cap and removed the cap from her head. Caleb Zook laid his hands upon her head, “Upon your faith, which you have confessed before God and these many witnesses, you are baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.” The deacon poured water into Caleb’s hands, cupped above Lainey, who was still kneeling, and it trickled down over her hair and face.

Then it was Bess’s turn.

When the rite of baptism was completed, Caleb took the hand first of Bess, then Lainey, and said, “In the name of the Lord and the Church, we extend to you the hand of fellowship, rise up.”

As they stood, the deacon’s wife greeted them with a holy kiss and retied their prayer caps, one by one. Lainey searched for Jonah’s face as she waited for Bess’s prayer cap to be retied. Their eyes met and locked, and she was completely undone when she saw the tears streaming down his face.

Jonah’s heart felt pierced. He had prayed for this moment for fifteen years. To watch Bess, his daughter, bend at the knee, and then to have Lainey, his soon-to-be bride, do the same, felt like a perfect and holy moment. As if the heavens parted and he had a brief glimpse into the great and wondrous plans of God, weaving all things together for good. He would never, ever forget this day.

It was a powerful moment for a parent to watch his child join the church. He couldn’t help thinking of the little girl Bess used to be. He wished she could have stayed a little girl, but she was growing up. Growing into a lovely, wise young woman.

He could hardly wait for Caleb to conclude the service and announce his and Lainey’s wedding plans. They were going to be married on a Thursday, the week before Christmas, at Rose Hill Farm. He felt a growing impatience, eager for Caleb to wrap up.

Caleb wasn’t usually long-winded, but today he seemed to be drawing out his sermon, a long admonishment to the congregation to be helpful to new members. Then he began to give instructions to Lainey and Bess to be faithful to the church and to the ministry. Jonah felt a little relieved when he concluded the sermon with Romans 6. Caleb kept making furtive glances toward the door. Jonah didn’t think anyone else noticed, but he was puzzled by it. It seemed as if Caleb was going to preach forever today. Then the other ministers offered their statements of approval of Caleb’s message, but Caleb had run over so long that they were mercifully brief. Finally, Caleb rose to his feet and asked everyone to kneel for prayer. Just as he finished the prayer, Jonah thought he heard the door squeak open, cautiously. He opened his eyes and saw Caleb motion to someone with his hand.