The Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens (17 page)

I’m back.

I know what you’re thinking. My belly button got me into trouble again and I’m being forced to continue writing in this journal as my creative outlet. Wrong. Believe it or not, I want to write in this journal. Not for Principal Miller, but for myself. After I finished my prison sentence here (so long, Principal Miller!) and had my summer vacation, so many things happened. I ended up writing stuff down on little scraps of paper and hiding them around my room until I could get my journal back. Which I finally did thanks to Kurt, the locker tagger, who stood guard while I broke into Principal Miller’s office using bobby pins. I found my journal in the bottom of her closet. Who called that one? If you forgot, please refer to the beginning of this journal.

Since Amy brought John back from the hospital things have been kind of crazy. I told Amy I would help take care of my nephew so she wouldn’t give him up for adoption, but she quickly took advantage of this privilege. One night, Amy wanted me to watch John so she could sleep. And sleep. And sleep. She slept for the whole day. Mom, Dad, and I each tried to wake her up, but she would only mumble, “Just five more minutes,” then turn over. It got to the point where I was taking care of John more than Amy was. My dad even said to me one day, “Who had this baby, you or Amy?” Thanks to Veronica’s training I was good at taking care of my nephew. I’m kind of maternal when I want to be.

So Operation Take Care of John Yourself was put into action. I had to give Amy some tough love because that was the only way she was going to adapt to her new situation. I stopped answering my cell phone and pretended I wasn’t home when she knocked on the door, asking for help. Dad and I became very good floor crawlers.

And Amy became good at taking care of John. Except for one time when I watched her try to microwave leftovers in the refrigerator and she stared at the icemaker for one minute and twenty-two seconds before realizing what she’d done, but other than that she’s getting the hang of it.

I was hoping this past summer would be boring for everyone, and it started out that way. Amy had to go to summer school because of all the school she missed when John was born. She was pretty upset about it. She wanted to take John to Italy so she could be with Ben, who was working at his uncle’s hotel, over the summer. Like Mom and Dad would have ever allowed that to happen.

I was relieved Amy couldn’t go to Italy. In my opinion, she and Ben needed a break. Ben was getting very jealous of Ricky and his relationship with Amy and John, and Amy was too exhausted to give Ben the amount of attention he needed.

Ricky, it turns out, is a natural father. He kept his promise to me in the hospital. He was being a friend to Amy and taking care of John. He is the only one who is able to get John to stop crying just by picking him up. You’d think Amy would be thrilled but it’s the opposite. It makes her angry because she’s the one who takes care of him the most, but he won’t stop crying for her. Sometimes I listen outside Amy’s room when Ricky is putting John down for the night. Ricky likes to tell John a story before he leaves. It could be something that happened to him that day, or a nice memory he has from one of his foster families. One night he told John about watching Amy run into people while practicing marching at band camp. Hearing stories like these, I wonder if Ricky and Amy will ever end up together, if Amy ever looks at Ricky and feels a twinge of those same feelings she had for him at band camp. I have to admit, Ricky taking responsibility for his son is attractive, and Amy must feel the same way when she’s tired and Ricky’s there to help.

One night I forgot to return the baby monitor to Amy and happened to overhear her and Ricky talking. Ricky was telling Amy he thinks John has made him into a better person, and he thought Amy had played a part in that as well. Then he thanked her for being the mother of his child. Then it was quiet for a bit, like they were hugging or something. Amy asked Ricky if he thought they would have ever been friends if it weren’t for John. Ricky said he didn’t want to think about a world without John. Or her.

Ben has a reason to be jealous.

Dad wasn’t worried about Ricky. Dad, of course, was only worried Amy and Ben were having sex. I told him Ben and Amy weren’t having sex. He wasn’t convinced I really knew because we don’t live with Mom and Amy anymore and how could I be so sure? Most of the time Amy is too tired to even shower, let alone give Ben any alone time. Babies really are the best birth control. That seemed to give him peace of mind.

Dad didn’t seem to be as worried about Mom, but I was. The stress from John seemed to be getting to her. At first I thought she was just gaining weight, but soon it was all too familiar. Her hands and feet were swollen and she was tired all the time. The same signs Amy showed last summer. Mimsy agreed with my suspicions about Mom being pregnant. Sure, she has Alzheimer’s and thinks Mom is pregnant with me, but she also recognized the pregnancy patterns.

Dad should really be worried that Mimsy has no problem answering any sex questions I have, no matter how inappropriate. So I asked how sex was with her new, younger boyfriend.

She said it’s great and she’s finally at her sexual peak, so she needs a younger man to keep up with her.

Mom did eventually admit she was pregnant. Dad was shocked, and then relieved when she said it wasn’t his. I wish it was Dad’s because I don’t like David. At all. And he doesn’t like me either. I overheard him tell Mom I made him nervous. I find it very odd to be in the same situation as last year where someone in this family is pregnant and the father is somewhat of a mystery. I know Mom said the baby’s not his and Dad said he had a vasectomy ten years ago, so the baby can’t be his. If that’s true, why was he even nervous in the first place?

Mom and I were at the market one day and I was trying to get up the nerve to ask if it’s really Dad’s baby, but I got sidetracked when NedTed started following me around the store. That’s when Grace tapped me on the shoulder. I will always be grateful to her for that.

Her dad had recently passed away and I told her how sorry I was and that I wasn’t going to make her talk about it. I’m sure she was tired of talking about it anyway. She seemed to appreciate my honesty. She asked if I remembered our conversation at Amy and Ben’s wedding reception, about us being like sisters even though we aren’t related by blood. I told her I remembered. She said since her dad died she made a promise to herself not to take her family for granted and wanted to include me in that promise. I told her I appreciated that, but with my newborn nephew and sibling on the way, I was getting more family than I could handle. She said she understood but was wondering if she could e-mail me while she went to her premed summer program. I said what is that, like medical camp? She said yeah, she’s thinking of following in her dad’s footsteps. She told me I didn’t have to write her back, she just wanted to keep in touch over the summer. I told her she could write to me, but I probably wouldn’t write her back.

Grace kept her word. She wrote me every day over the summer. Every. Day. She talked about her daily routine at camp: In the mornings she would listen to one of the camp physicians lecture for about an hour. Then she would follow another camp physician on his hospital rounds to observe how he interacted with his patients. At lunch she and the rest of her group would talk with their camp physician about the different patient cases they saw that morning. After lunch, she would sit in on her camp physician’s office hours and see any patients that came in. At the end of the day, she would write about her various experiences with the patients and how she would have handled it the same or differently from her mentoring physician.

The e-mails were pretty boring at first (we all know how I feel about camp and science), until she mentioned that Lauren’s brother, Jason, was attending the same medical camp and they were in the same lecture group and did their hospital rounds together. They quickly became good friends. One day they were picked to demonstrate the proper techniques involved in
CPR
. Grace was the victim and Jason performed
CPR
on her. But eventually he forgot all about chest compressions and decided to concentrate solely on the mouth-to-mouth part. Grace said after that day anything they did together became fraught with sexual tension. It finally culminated when Grace had to give Jason a basic physical. She checked all his vital signs, including listening to his heart with her stethoscope. His heart was pounding so fast Grace thought he might have high blood pressure. Then they kissed. Funny that Grace never mentioned Jack once in any of her e-mails. Eventually, Grace and Jason decided to be friends. Well, Grace acts as if they came to this decision because they are two mature adults, but I think what caused her second thoughts was the patient with the raging case of syphilis she mentioned treating in her previous e-mail.

I love having information before Lauren and Madison. I intend to keep it to myself and enjoy the moment when they find out on their own. Unlike them, I don’t intend to blab things all over town. I wonder if Madison would be upset to know Jason was cheating on her with Grace. It seems like it would be hard to be mad at Grace, though. She seems like a genuinely good person.

Amy and Ben weren’t talking over the summer because when Ben came to say good-bye the morning of his flight to Bologna, Ricky was there and it looked like he had spent the night in Amy’s room. No matter how many times Amy called Ben, he never picked up. She really has no imagination. I got through right away, but not on Ben’s cell phone.

This was the lead I was talking about. I bought a prepaid telephone card and called the front desk of Ben’s uncle’s hotel. Some guy named Gio answered. He was the concierge for the hotel so he liked to talk to people and knew many languages, including English. I asked if Ben was taking advantage of everything Bologna had to offer and I was not referring to sightseeing. Gio didn’t understand what I meant and said Ben was doing a lot of sightseeing. He ascended the Torre degli Asinelli, visited the Basilica di San Petronio, walked the 666 arches to the hilltop Santuario della Madonna di San Luca, and has had enough pasta bolognese to last him a lifetime. He has also been well versed in prosciutto, mortadella, and salame, which should help when he returns to work at the butcher shop.

I asked if there was anything or anyone else he’s been seeing in Bologna. Gio paused, then said, “You mean, besides the girl?” Gio went on to tell me Ben has been spending all his free time with the daughter of a family friend. When he ascended the Torre degli Asinelli, she raced him to the top. When Ben was admiring the Basilica di San Petronio, she pointed out its unfinished façade. She was there coaching Ben up all 666 arches until they arrived together at the hilltop Santuario della Madonna di San Luca. And during breaks from all this sightseeing, she has taken him to all her favorite restaurants. I asked if she’s ever spent the night. Gio said sure, but all they do is talk. He hears them whenever he walks by. That Ben sure is a talker. So I asked if he’s ever mentioned Amy. Gio asked, “Who?” I said Amy, his girlfriend in America. Then he said, “I have not heard of this Amy that you speak of.” He asked if I was Amy. I said no and hung up.

I didn’t want to tell Amy what Gio told me because it was probably nothing, even if it could be something. And I didn’t want her bad mood ruining my summer. She had Ricky around, so what if she didn’t have Ben? She still had the rest of the summer to get used to that, which was probably a good thing if Ben comes back and breaks up with her.

A couple of really bad things happened recently. David proposed to Mom, and Dad was served with divorce papers. That’s one of the unfortunate parts of living next door to your ex. You’re able to hide in the bushes and see your ex-wife get proposed to by her new boyfriend. Plus, your mom notices when you’ve skipped school.

Mom hasn’t accepted David’s proposal, but the divorce papers aren’t a good sign. David also wants Mom to move to a house near Mimsy. I don’t like the possibility of people leaving again. Amy’s going to need someone around to help her, and with Mom gone that would mean Dad and me sharing diaper duty.

Pretty soon it was time for high school orientation. As I was getting out of the car, my dad said, “Don’t drink, don’t do drugs, and don’t get pregnant.” I asked him if there was anything else. He said, “Yeah, make some friends, will ya?” I’m not so sure about the friends part and as for getting pregnant, if I do ever decide to have a baby I’m hoping science has advanced enough where I can grow my baby in some kind of hospital incubator and pick it up nine months later. I know I’ve said I don’t trust science, but if that were to become a reality it would make up for all the times science has failed me in the past.

It took only two minutes for me to walk into the wrong classroom. And I know it was the wrong one because I found Jack and Madison making out. They didn’t even notice me until I asked if this was sex ed. Jack stuttered that it was a meeting of the Dead Parents Club and asked if I had a dead parent. Madison slapped him on the arm and said I didn’t. They asked me to please forget what I saw, since Madison is dating Jason and Jack is dating Grace. I wanted so badly to tell them their significant others weren’t wasting any time either, but instead I asked if they got over their grief by making out. Madison shrugged and said one day they just admitted they found the other person attractive and decided to see how it felt to . . . kiss. And kiss some more. But it’s just a summer thing; it doesn’t mean they don’t care about Grace and Jason. It’s just an experiment. Like science. I said more like cheating, but whatever makes them feel less guilty. Jack asked if I was going to tell anyone I saw him and Madison kissing. I said no, but they might want to lock the door next time.