The Secret Life of Daydreams (9 page)

The national holiday fell on Monday. Ordinarily the school would have been closed but Sofia had arranged a private tour for him. How hard had that been to pull off? Other than the first visit, he’d been there once again to take more shots of the exterior, including the courtyard. He’d managed to stage some photos without students during classes but an empty school was definitely better for the interior shots. This time he hoped to photograph the old library, the attic, and the laboratories. Would there be anyone else there or just him and Sofia? Funny how he could be excited and cautious at the same time. Now he just had to remember to keep a friendly, professional attitude with her, and everything would be all right.

For a change from all the rain and humidity, the skies were partly clear, with an intermittent sun making its appearance through cotton-candy clouds. The air was clearer in Portugal, the sky bluer, and the sun brighter. He hadn’t paid much attention when he was a missionary, but his photography education and job had trained his eyes for the little differences.

When Josh arrived at the school’s side entrance, Sofia stood by the door, facing the other direction. He stopped, taking advantage of the moment before she knew he was there.

She wore her hair loose and down her back, a mass of cascading chestnut curls, both glorious and riotous and absolutely fascinating to him. So this was what she looked like when her hair was not braided or in a bun. He smiled. Against the morning sunlight, Sofia’s outline shone in contrast to the dark wooden door, lending her a diaphanous, delicate aura that he couldn’t let pass. He brought the camera up to his eyes, adjusted the focus on the lens to compose his shot, and pressed the shutter. When he checked the LCD screen, the corner of his lips rose in a smile.

She wore dark fitted jeans and a light-yellow top with flowing sleeves. The color looked good on her but he had yet to see her in something that didn’t complement her. Her understated style appealed to him.

Sofia turned as he approached. She shielded her eyes and smiled. “Bom dia.”

“Bom dia para ti também.” Josh returned the smile.

“Your accent is getting better.”

He shrugged. “It’s definitely getting easier with each day in the country.”

Up close, her hair was even more enticing, with light brown highlights as it caught the sun’s rays. He stopped at a safe distance from her to discourage her from brushing a beijinho on his cheeks. Not because he didn’t want it, but because he feared he’d want something more than a simple greeting. Already the temptation to reach his hand and touch the curls on her head proved stronger than he’d anticipated. It scared him the way he was attracted to her, how strong and how fast his feelings had grown in such a short time.

Sofia drew a set of keys from her pocket.

“Is anyone else coming?” Maybe it was better to have someone else come along. For one, it would feel less intimate.

“Just you and I.” She pushed the door open then motioned for him to enter. He motioned back to her and she passed first.

The movement of the door pushed the air in his direction, and in the confines of the room they’d entered, Sofia’s perfume wafted to him. Her hair blew in the breeze and she tucked a strand behind her ear. His awareness of her movements had all his senses on alert.

His eyes adjusted to the darkness. “How did you pull this off?”

Sofia flipped a light switch and light spilled in a short hallway. “I had to promise a date with the custodian’s son.”

“Did you really?” He was under the impression she didn’t date.

A sassy smile lighted her expression. “Not really, no.” She opened a second door. “But I do have an in with the head custodian.”

“Whatever the sacrifice was, I’ll make it up to you.” Why had he said that? She was going to think he was flirting with her. Which he was, if he were honest. His good intentions might lead him down a path he wasn’t sure he wanted to go.

Sofia waited for him. “Definitely not a sacrifice. I’ve been waiting for an excuse to come here alone for years.”

Josh paused and set down his camera bag. He knelt on the stone floor and took out a shorter lens, then switched it out. He attached the speedlight for the rooms where he needed to compensate for the low natural light. When done, he stood and slung the camera around his neck. “I’m sorry you’re not alone then.” He followed Sofia through an archway.

She walked beside him, her eyes straight ahead. “Don’t be. I’m glad I get to share this visit with you.”

And she had no idea how glad he really was too.

After touring the laboratories and theater, Sofia took Josh to the old library. The new library was on the ground floor as part of the new annex built a few years prior, to accommodate more students and staff. The old library was on the second floor of the main building, at the front and overlooking the north side. The fifteen-foot-high ceilings allowed for an added balcony to reach the highest shelves, accessible through a wooden staircase. Sofia walked to the windows and drew the wooden shutters open. With two-foot-thick walls, window seats flanked each of the three large windows in the room.

“This is quite the space.” Josh scrolled through the camera’s viewfinder, to make sure he’d photographed all the details.

“The library is my favorite.” Sofia sat at one of the window seats, her face in profile. “And I like the view from here.”

Josh adjusted the camera and stole another photo of her.

Back in the hallway, their steps echoed in the empty floors. A collection of vintage photographs from 1928 sat behind a locked glass display in the history room. For a few minutes, Josh went around the room, intent on photographing all the details. Sofia lingered behind him, dividing her attention between looking at the historical collection and following his actions.

If he didn’t know better, he’d say she played a game of subtle intrigue, one that was becoming harder to resist. The next time she looked his way, he caught her gaze and held it. Sofia blushed, then turned to the door and walked out.

After she left, Josh blew out a breath. He was a fool, for sure. Sofia was not the kind of girl who played games and he knew better than to think that of her. The empty building created a false sense of intimacy and his senses were in overdrive, that was all. It would do him well to go back to work.

Josh liked that Sofia didn’t try to fill the space between them with mindless conversation. At each room they stopped in, she told him the history and interesting tidbits, funny stories from her time there as a student, or even older ones carried on as local legends. With a building that large and with that kind of history, the lore was bound to happen.

The last room of the day was in the attic, with dormers facing the courtyard below.

“This room was once used as a chapel.” Sofia flipped the switch on, then walked to the windows and opened the shutters, as she had done in the other rooms. “After that, they started using it for storage and it fell into disrepair. In 2009, when the annex was built, they restored the rest of the school as well.”

Josh framed a shot with a wide lens. “I’m assuming it was a chapel for the Catholic church, right?”

She nodded. “It’s the official church, but you probably remember that from your mission days.”

He lowered the camera and scrolled through the shots. What was she doing, bringing up his mission?

“There are religious education classes of Catholic doctrine in the schedule for preparatory and secondary school students.” She glanced at him. “I still had that class in my schedule in twelfth grade. When I started university, I was able to enroll in institute classes, but institute is not connected to school here in Portugal.” She dragged a chair out and sat down to a small table. “I mean LDS institute classes.”

He had to turn the conversation back to her before it led somewhere he didn’t like.

“What happened after I was transferred from Braga?” At the risk of discussing the past, he’d been curious to know about her whereabouts for the rest of his mission.

Her brows knit in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You might remember that I was transferred out just before school started.”

“I remember.”

“About six weeks later I had a zone conference and met Elder Noble—he was my companion in Famalicão—” Sofia nodded, and Josh continued. “I asked him about you and he said that you’d stopped coming to church.”

She sighed and trailed a hand across the top of a wooden table. “That’s true. About a week before school started, my parents forbade me to attend church.”

Josh brought another chair and set it a few feet away from her. “What did you do?”

“For a while, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have any friends in the branch or anyone else to talk to. I prayed about it. Eventually, I received an impression to stay where I was and obey my parents.”

Josh nodded, urging her on, his gaze intent on her.

“It was hard for me to understand at the time, but every time I prayed about it, the impression was the same. So I concentrated on my studies, finished twelfth grade with good marks, and kept up my study of the Book of Mormon in private. When I was accepted to the University of Minho at the Gualtar campus, my cousin Teresa said I could stay with her, to cut back on the commuting. Her baby was almost a year old. I helped take care of him and did light chores around the house.”

Sofia tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “On Sunday mornings, both my cousin and her husband were home and didn’t need my help as much, so I started attending the branch meetings here in Braga. Luckily for me, my cousin’s apartment was within walking distance from the church building. By then, Margarida and her family had moved into the branch and we became best friends. She also attended the university so we saw each other a lot. Everyone dubbed us ‘The Two Anas’, for Ana Sofia and Ana Margarida.” A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Coming to church was easier after that.”

Josh kept his eyes on her, unable to look away. How strong she had been. “And are you happy?” He couldn’t hold the question back.

“You mean, am I happy in the church?” He nodded, and she continued. “Yes, I am happy. Things are not perfect, you know, but it’s easier to take the bad times when the good times mean so much more.” She lifted her hand to brush her fingers against a gold chain around her neck. “I can’t imagine my life without the gospel in it.”

Josh swallowed. Hadn’t he thought the same thing at one point? But life happened and things changed. Messy things that proved how transient happiness was.

He rose. “I’m glad it’s worked out for you.” His sentiment was sincere. He couldn’t begrudge her hard-earned testimony, even though he’d lost his. “I’m done here.” The way Sofia looked at him was too much to take at the moment, and he walked out of the room.

The sound of the shutters closing and her hurried steps followed closely behind. He slowed his steps as she caught up to him under an archway.

“I was expecting you at church yesterday.”

He cut a glance in her direction. “Sofia.” He couldn’t hide the warning tone in his voice. That was the kind of conversation he didn’t want to have with her.

Sofia lagged a step behind as he took the stairs to the lower floor. “Do you know where the church is? It’s a new building.”

He knew where the new church building was. He’d driven by because he was curious. But he didn’t want to go in, especially not on Sunday, when the members were there.

“Josh.” Sofia called after him but he didn’t reply.

When Josh reached the atrium, he stood in the center, trying to remember the side entrance they’d taken. Sofia came to a stop next to him.

Josh capped the lens on the camera. “I think I got everything I need.” He turned to her. “Are you ready?”

Sofia looked up to him. “Are you mad at me?”

He tightened his grip around the camera strap. “No.” His short answer should have discouraged her, but the gleam in her eyes said otherwise. Josh didn’t want a confrontation. He remembered her tenacity from when he and his companion had taught her the missionary discussions.

“Then why did you leave when I asked you that question back there?”

Josh turned partially from her, looking away and shaking his head. She followed behind him.

Sofia wore flat shoes and up close to him she looked even shorter. Her chin rose in his direction and her eyes were that kind of brown with a golden center, almost green in the right kind of light. Beautiful eyes, deep with emotion and full of questions he didn’t want to answer.

He repeated his question. “Are you ready to go?”

For a moment, she didn’t say anything. Then a quiet resolve took over and her eyes turned guarded.

“Yes, I’m ready.” She headed down the hallway, not waiting for him.

He walked behind her, the echo of their steps on the stone floor and empty hallways interrupting the silence. At the last door, she let him pass and then locked it, pushing at it to make sure it stayed closed.

When she was done, her expression had lost the determination of the moment before, hiding her emotions. “I hope you enjoyed the tour.” The keys jangled in her hand. “Will you need to come again?”

Not if he could help it. “I did enjoy the tour. Thank you for arranging it.” He brought his backpack around and placed the camera inside. “I think I got what I need.” He’d make it work somehow. “Can I walk you to your car?”