The Secret Life of Daydreams (13 page)

A promise was a promise and Sofia had promised Josh she’d give him a tour of the Citânia de Briteiros. She’d gone back and forth between doing it or not, and had even come up with several plausible excuses. A side of her pulsed with the anticipation of spending time with him, and the other side pleaded for her common sense to prevail. But she’d damped that sensible side until not much of it was left and it had brought her a calmness she hadn’t expected.

The distraction this trip provided was welcome. It was the first time Sofia had left Mother with the new caretaker, a retired nurse who specialized in elderly care of patients with dementia symptoms—Nurse Antónia.

Once she’d started looking for someone qualified, she’d quickly discovered the difficulty of the task at hand. The best people for the job already had a full schedule or were priced out of her budget. But on the second day of phone calls, she’d received a referral to Nurse Antónia, who’d recently had one of her patients move out of town and could accommodate a new one. Her pricing and availability were almost too good to be true and Sofia had interviewed her only as a formality. Although Nurse Antónia charged more on Saturdays, Sofia had asked her to come. Today was the only day of the week she could go with Josh to Briteiros since her weekday schedule was full with classes and meetings. She checked her phone for a text from the nurse but none had come, and she let go of the worry.

Josh smiled at Sofia from behind the wheel. They were on their way to
Citânia de Briteiros, located just a few miles outside of Braga, to the east. The day was warmer than in the past few weeks and the sky a cloudless blue, such a difference from the rainy, dark weather of late. The rolled-down windows let in a slight breeze with the scent of eucalyptus trees, strong and full, and Sofia inhaled deeply.

The narrow country road wound through an abundance of trees in a serpentine motion, climbing up the hillside, and the sun peeking through the branches played a game of light and shadows against the windshield. She relaxed in her seat, the contentment filling her with a sense of ease and serenity.

When they arrived, Josh retrieved his equipment from the back seat. He looped his camera and bag around his neck, shouldered a large backpack, and carried a tripod in his hand. Sofia went on ahead to the office to show her passes and get a map. The last time she’d been at the Citânia, she’d known everything there was to know about it. But that had been some years ago, and she’d brushed up a little so she could answer Josh’s questions.

Sofia walked back to meet Josh and they strolled together past the deck at the reception center and the start of the trail. She unfolded the map and held it up between them.

She pointed at the spots of interest. “This is the suggested route. The main road goes up the hill to the western fortification wall. At the acropolis, there’s another wide road that intersects in the opposite direction.”

She circled several areas. “These areas are the residential nucleus, and along the way we can see the remains of the round dwellings and the more common rectangular ones.” There was more but she looked up to Josh. “Are you okay with following this route?”

“I’m here to follow you.” He swept his right arm in front of her. “Just lead the way.”

Sofia straightened and pocketed the map. Josh carried too much and she hesitated. “Wouldn’t it be easier for you to use the equipment if I carry the backpack?”

He paused for a moment and surveyed the area, then chuckled. “Sneaky, aren’t you? I know what you’re trying to do here.”

Why did guys always think they had to do everything to prove their virility? Such a macho thing. She splayed her hands on her hips. “It’s the twenty-first century. I can carry my share. Besides, this is more like a business outing, not a date. Which means you don’t have to carry stuff for me.” She extended her hand for the backpack.

“What if I believe in chivalry? You won’t give me a chance to practice it?”

“And what if I’m a feminist? You won’t respect my views?” She was pushing him now and enjoying the banter.

Josh eyed her and held quiet, the corner of his mouth twitching. Sofia wanted to laugh. He was probably trying to figure out how serious she was about feminism. After a few seconds, he set down the tripod and removed the backpack, but his eyes crinkled with a lack of seriousness belied by his actions.

Sofia took the backpack from him and put it on. It wasn’t even as heavy as she’d expected. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She started up the trail then turned back to Josh. “And you still have your man card intact,” she added with a smile.

Josh laughed. “Sassy, aren’t you?”

“Come on, we don’t have all day,” she pressed in a teasing tone.

When Josh lifted the camera and framed a shot, Sofia walked to the edge of the path, trying to get out of reach from the lens. She waited until he passed and then walked just a few paces behind him. This way he could photograph the area without the risk of having her in the picture.

As they stopped at the first conglomerate of ruins, Sofia looked across the hill, over the valley below, and breathed out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for promises kept. There was nothing else she’d rather be doing today.

* * *

The hike to the acropolis was steep and slow as Josh stopped often to photograph all the spots along the way, as well as the panoramic view. Sofia followed closely behind him, purposely stepping out of sight when he swung the camera her way. He pretended not to notice, even as he tried to catch her unaware.

Josh hadn’t had the chance to visit when he was on his mission, and the place appealed to him. Sofia filled him in on the history as they climbed. The Citânia was a fortified settlement dating to before the Romans. Wide defensive walls encircled it, and the ruins of round houses poked through the earth at different intervals. There was a water culvert that followed the main road, carved onto the side rocks and had since run dry. Sofia had explained to him why the paved streets were littered with jutting rocks, a result of the soil erosion over the centuries.

When they reached the highest point, Josh switched the lens to a wide-angle one and attached the camera to the tripod. He found a flat spot and set it there, along with the camera bag. Sofia placed the backpack against the trunk of a tree and shaded her eyes, surveying the setting, then walked off a few feet. Other than some visitors they’d crossed on the way up the hill, he and Sofia were the only ones around.

Josh checked the time. “Can you wait for lunch?” he called to her.

Sofia walked back toward him. “Did you ask something about lunch?”

He waited by the camera. “I asked if you can wait for lunch.”

“Sure. Go ahead and finish the shots you want. I’m not in a hurry.” She looked to the east. “We can find a place in the village, or drive to Guimarães, if you want.”

Josh smiled. “I brought lunch.” He gestured toward the backpack.

She gave him a puzzled look, her half-smile drawing his attention to her lips. “You packed a picnic?”

He nodded and she jogged over to where she’d left the backpack and pulled the zipper open, examining the contents. “Why didn’t I think of this?” She drew out the water bottles and walked back to hand him one.

Josh took a swig. “Do you want to eat now then?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m fine.” She pointed at the camera. “You can go work.”

He brought his fingers up in a mock salute. “Sim, senhora,” he said, and walked away from her, as she chuckled behind him.

It was better this way. He needed some distance from Sofia while he concentrated on composing the wide shots. This time alone with her, out in nature on a sunny day, in a corner of the world held back from the passage of time, had part of him in knots as his attraction for her grew more comfortable and natural. And work was the perfect antidote.

Later, under the shade of a centennial oak tree, Josh and Sofia ate the last of the sandwiches and fruit he’d packed. He’d finished shooting the acropolis from all the angles necessary to stitch a 360° image, something he’d been wanting to try for some time now. There were still more spots to photograph on the way down, but he was not in a hurry. Earlier in the tour, Sofia had checked her phone a couple of times but had since put her phone away, despite him assuring her that he understood the concern for her mother. She hadn’t made any comments and he hadn’t brought it up again.

Sofia leaned back against a rock, with her eyes closed and a content expression on her face. He positioned himself at an angle to better see her, almost close enough to touch her, if he reached out his arm.

At the top of this hill, the only sounds were those of the early summer crickets and the weeds undulating in the slow breeze and the ruffling of the tree leaves above them. Beyond, a lazy flock of clouds cruised along on a placid sky. The fresh air filled his lungs and it was hard to believe the third largest city in Portugal stood to the northwest, a short car ride away.

How many of those long-ago generations had stood on this very spot and looked over at the same sun by day and the same stars by night? They’d lived hard lives, and had survived on the most basic of necessities, yet they’d stayed there for some centuries until they’d slowly been forced to leave. What kind of dreams and aspirations had filled their hearts and what sort of prayers had they lifted to their gods?

The modesty of such a simple life tugged at his core, and Josh held a hand back from rubbing his palm over his chest, the pain more real than he’d thought possible. Regret was hard to live with when he couldn’t remember the last time he’d uttered a prayer. Could his lips even form the words if he so wanted? At this place, and next to this girl, the belief that he could was nearly enough.

Sofia sat up and ran a hand through her hair, tucking in the stray wisps behind her ears. Her curls were caught back in a loose pony tail, and his eyes lingered on the nape of her neck, partly visible and unexpectedly tempting.

She brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, then glanced at him for a moment. “It’s so peaceful here.” A little smile pulled at her lips. “It almost feels like I’m closer to heaven, like the prayer in my heart doesn’t get lost in all the confusion of my problems.”

Hadn’t he just been thinking something similar? Josh gave her a semblance of a smile, unable to put anything worth saying into words.

Sofia pulled at a wild flower and twirled the stem between her fingers. “The only place where I can feel at peace anymore is when I go to the temple.”

He sat back, intent on her words, not wanting to break the thin intimacy that threatened to sprout between them. “How often do you go?” He lowered his voice.

When he looked more carefully at her, the signs were there that she’d been through the temple ordinances. Her modest clothes were enough of a giveaway when compared to other Portuguese women. He’d avoided acknowledging that before—whether consciously or not, he couldn’t say.

“I try to go at least once a year, after school is out.”

With the closest temple being located in the next country, a once-a-year temple trip was probably all she could afford.

A large bird flew overhead and they followed its cries until it passed.

Sofia continued. “It’s easier to go now since the Madrid temple opened.”

He remembered the members talking about the annual trips to the German or Swiss temples. Those had been long, expensive trips full of hardships and personal sacrifices.

She sat up and crossed her legs in front of her. “I never did get the chance to go to the Frankfurt or Bern temples when the stake organized the trips.” She met his eyes.

It was like their minds were synced, or maybe she’d heard his thoughts? It wouldn’t surprise him if she could.

“So I’m grateful the Madrid temple is much, much closer.” The breeze blew her hair and she turned her face in its direction. “It gives me the chance to let go of all my worries and to come back with a clean mind and open heart.”

Memories of his former life trickled in, uninvited. His experience had been similar, but he’d been able to go more often, as he’d lived in Utah at the time and had so many temples nearby to choose from. In the end, he’d shed all the symbols of that life, cutting the ties and the tokens, erasing the reminders of his failures. It was easier to live on pretending nothing had ever happened, that he didn’t know any better. The mark of a true coward. One who didn’t have an open heart.

The silence stretched for some minutes, not uncomfortable and almost fostering the closeness between them. The sun had started past its zenith, on its descent to the west side. How long had they been there already?

“Tomorrow is Sunday,” Sofia said at last.

Josh nodded, anticipating her next words.

“Will you come to church, please?” She caught his gaze and he couldn’t look away from her brown eyes, yet knowing the answer she wanted was more than what he could give her.

“I don’t have a suit.” Even to his ears, that was the lamest excuse he’d ever heard. His shoulders slumped and he pressed his lips into a tight line, disgusted with himself.

Sofia smiled, apparently more amused than offended at his lack of honesty. “There’s always next week.”

No, there wouldn’t be a next week. Or even the week after.

He picked up a small stick from the ground, cleared an area on the dirt, and started scratching a design, turning part of his back to her. “Do you know what my college major was, Sofia?”