The Secret Manuscript (27 page)

“You’re not
planning on killing yourself are you?” the older Ben asked.

“What? No, of
course not. I’m trying to psych myself up for the ‘thing’ I have to
do.”

“What
thing?”

“Killing
Gringer?” Ben said in a hushed tone.

“Oh, yeah I
meant to tell you. You don’t actually have to do that, I was just
messing with you.”

“Are you being
serious?”

“Yeah, I was
totally joking, I thought you knew this whole time.”

“What kind of
joke is that?” Ben asked furiously.

“I’m sorry, I
thought we had the same sense of humour.”

“Oh my gosh, I
can’t believe you made me think that,” Ben stood up and stormed
around the room.” Do you have any idea how much stress you caused
me?”

“Just relax, I
didn’t think you would get all worked up about it. I was just
trying to have some fun with you. I think in a few years you’re
going to look back on this and laugh.”

Ben shook his
head at his older self. “When did you become such an asshole.”

“I said I was
sorry.”

Ben let out a
big sigh of relief. “Okay, so now what?”

“We have to
go.”

“Go
where?”

“Back to the
future.”

“I can’t leave
Vanessa.”

“Ben, I know
this is hard to accept, but look at me, do you see Vanessa around?
We don’t end up with the girl in the end. She’s not in our
destiny.”

“I don’t care
about destiny, I’m going back for her.”

“Unfortunately, Ben, it doesn’t work like that. You are bound by
your destiny. Every thought in your head, every word you utter,
it’s all scripted, it’s all part of the grand design.”

“Yeah, I’ve
heard that before.”

With the gun
still in his hand, Ben raised his arm and put the barrel in his
mouth.

“Ben, what are
you doing?” the senior Ben shouted.

“Changing my
destiny.”

Just after
saying that, Ben closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. The gun’s
hammer snapped back. The sound was loud enough to cause Ben to
flinch, but the gun failed to go off. Ben opened his eyes and
slowly took the gun out of his mouth. Senior Ben was taken
aback.

“Ben, give me
the gun,” senior Ben said. “You obviously don’t die today, or else
I wouldn’t be standing here, but don’t test destiny. This isn’t an
exact science, I don’t know what will happen if you pull that
trigger again, you may not be so lucky the second time around.”

“You know, I
meditated for over an hour this morning, trying to go to a mental
place where I could kill a man. I thought about the pain of being
unwanted by my parents, the torment of being bullied as a kid, the
vicious beatings by the Wibley’s, and yielding to the authority of
those who abuse their power. I didn’t think I had it in me to go
through with it, but I was wrong. You created a monster and now
that monster is going to kill you.”

Ben raised the
gun and pointed at the older Ben’s head.

“Why do you
look so surprised?” Ben asked. “You didn’t you see this coming, did
you?”

“Ben, please
put the gun down. Even though you can’t die today, I can.”

Then senior
Ben said the one thing that could save his life.

“I pulled that
trigger forty years ago and have regretted it ever since.”

The comment
found its mark. Now if Ben truly wanted to change his destiny, he
would have to not kill his older self. Ben lowered the weapon and
then started laughing.

“What’s so
funny?”

“I took the
bullets out of the gun,” he said. “Now we’re even.”

The car pulled
up to the hotel just past noon. With a hurried pace, Ben rushed
through the front doors and dashed across the lobby as if he were
late for a meeting. Frantically pressing the elevator button
several times, Ben eventually opted to take the stairs. His room
was on the third floor, and when he arrived he took out his key
card and inserted it into the door.

“Hi, honey,”
Vanessa said, greeting Ben as he entered the room. “Is everything
okay?”

“Everything is
fine now, I just couldn’t wait to see you,” he said, walking over
to her and giving her a hug.

“Ah, that’s
sweet. I know we spoke briefly on the phone, but tell me everything
that happened.”

“So as you
know, that note wasn’t from me, it was the handiwork of my future
counterpart. He tricked me into going to Calgary without you. I
thought you were asleep in the backseat for almost two hours of the
trip.”

“I was
wondering why there were no pillows on his bed.”

“Once I found
out you were not there, I forced him to pull over and we
fought.”

“Oh my gosh, I
can’t believe you fought yourself. Who won?”

“Well… I
did.”

“So what
happened after that?”

“He convinced
me to go on without you. He said it was for the greater good of the
mission and made me think that I didn’t really have a choice. I
started thinking about my destiny and how he had experienced all
this before, so I didn’t see the point in trying to fight with him
anymore. After that, I just went along with everything he
said.”

“What I want
to know is when do you become such a devious trickster? I’m not
looking forward to that. First, he made you believe you would have
to kill your grandfather. Then he lied to you about me being in the
back seat.”

“I’m not sure
why he did that. Either he was just sticking to the script or it
was his idea of a joke. Apparently my sense of humour changes in
the next forty years.”

“So in forty
years are you going to do this all over again — you’re going to
play those same tricks on the younger you?”

“I don’t know
what I’ll do,” Ben said thoughtfully. “I had a lot of time to think
about it on the drive to Cold Lake. If I don’t come back here when
I’m older, the younger me will likely die in that fire. It sort of
forces my hand a bit, doesn’t it?”

“Where is
future Ben now?”

“I’m not sure.
He went his way and I went mine. He refused to tell me any details
about the future, but assured me he will be seeing me again at some
point.”

“How will he
find you?”

“As long as he
doesn’t lose his memory, he’ll know exactly where I am at all
times. He’s already lived this life before.”

“So does that
mean there’s no free will?”

“I don’t know.
It certainly feels like there is, but I’m not really sure. Right
now, I think it’s more like fatalism.”

“What’s
that?”

“It’s like
destiny in that certain events must happen, but other events are
not as necessary. So the fire at my apartment may be necessary
since other events are contingent on it, but the words I say and
the minor day-to-day actions are not so strictly written in
stone.”

“It sounds
really philosophical.”

“It is and I’m
not sure I really understand it, but I’m just going to live my life
and not worry too much about it.”

“So what now?”
Vanessa asked.

“The Ben of
this time is probably asleep on a bus right now, heading to
Calgary. A part of me wants to meet him at the bus depot and
explain everything to him.”

“You have to
let him have his own life and discover this organically, as you
did. I don’t think it’s good to know the future,” Vanessa said.

“You’re
starting to sound like future Ben.”

“I know, but
he’s right.”

“Maybe,” Ben
said, pondering the truth of her statement. He reached into his
pocket and pulled out the small object he had found in the secret
room.

“Did he
explain what that thing is?” Vanessa asked.

“It’s a time
travelling device. He said to activate it, all we have to do is
think about a place and time, and we’ll be instantly transported
there.”

“Are you being
serious?” Vanessa asked in amazement. “I can’t believe this.”

“Believe
it.”

“A cousin of
mine works as a flight attendant and gets to travel around the
world for free, and I thought that was an awesome perk. Ben, this
is incredible!”

“He was also
very stern on the dangers of time travel, but knows I won’t abuse
them. It’s important to keep this device protected since we cannot
ensure others will be as careful as us.”

“Yeah, I can
only imagine all the greedy and impulsive things a person could do
if they had the opportunity to go back and re-write history.”

“It’s a good
thing I’m not greedy and impulsive,” Ben joked.

“Riiight,” she
said sarcastically.

“So right now,
I came here to get you and take you back to our time. When we get
back to Calgary we will have a much different life. There’s an
account set up in my name with ten million dollars in it.”

“But what
about the thugs and the bank robber?”

“I didn’t say
we had to remain in Calgary. I have a plan to take you somewhere
exotic.”

“Really,
where?” Vanessa asked.

“Perhaps it
would be better to ask, when?”

If you’ve read
to the end, then chances are you’ve had a few comments, questions,
or concerns about the plot. While time travel is inherently
complicated, it has remained a captivating plot device throughout
literature, television, and movies. I love time travel and grew up
with Back to the Future, Quantum Leap, The Time Machine, Lost, and
so on. Once I became a writer, I wanted to try to write my own time
travel story.

Anyone who
spends any time thinking, or writing, about time travel will
inevitably run into paradoxes. The reality is there are no simple
ways to resolve these problems. At a certain point, I had Vanessa
point out the absurdity to the two Bens. I did this as a
tongue-in-cheek way to let the audience know that I was aware of
the absurdity. But as it remains, I never satisfactorily resolved
the issue.

A potential
solution to the grandfather paradox is posed as the Ben from the
future discusses the alternate world’s hypothesis. However, later
on young Ben cuts himself and it shows up as a scar on his older
counterpart. Of course this isn’t compatible with the alternate
world’s hypothesis, but it’s a cool scene so I left it in. As with
most science-fiction, the reader must suspend a certain amount of
disbelief for the sake of the story. I ask you not to look too
deeply for plot holes and just enjoy the story at face value.

Lastly, if you
enjoyed the book, please help spread the word by giving it a 5-star
review on Goodreads, or wherever you purchased it.

Thank you for
reading.

Edward
Mullen

Edward Mullen
is a novelist, blogger, and podcaster from Vancouver, Canada.
Prodigy is his second novel.

Born and
raised in beautiful British Columbia, Edward developed a love for
the wilderness. This love, combined with an innate curiosity about
all things, eventually spawned a healthy imagination for
storytelling.

Despite
spending a lot of his time indoors writing, Edward continues to
enjoy the outdoors. He is an avid tennis player, mountain biker,
snowboarder, runner, and traveler.

For more
information about Edward Mullen, such as his podcast, blog, or
upcoming books, please visit:

www.EdwardMullen.com