The Secret She Kept (16 page)

But first she needed to drive him crazy. As crazy as he made her.

The only illumination in the bedroom was from the dim lamp in the living room. She kept it that way and pulled him farther into the room.

She tugged his shirt out of his jeans and started to unbutton it from the top, unhurriedly, trailing her fingertips along his skin between each button. He watched her without speaking, never losing eye contact. That gaze made her heart race. Aroused a longing deep within her that made her ache.

When all the buttons were unfastened, she dragged the sleeves down his arms and couldn’t help admiring those biceps, the pecs. Some guys softened up as they hit their thirties, but not Jake. He’d been in great shape as a teenager years ago, and he’d only improved. Filled out, broadened in all the right places, hardened. She whisked her tongue over one of his nipples and he sucked in his breath. But he didn’t touch her. Maybe he sensed that this was her moment and she was going to play it her way. He seemed just fine with that, if the groan that escaped his throat when she swirled her tongue around his other nipple was any sign.

Savannah explored every ridge and dip of his chest, working her way down to his waist, leisurely, following the sparse hair. She unbuttoned his jeans and drew the zipper down painfully slowly. She glanced up at Jake’s face, and the look there heated her blood even more. His eyes were half-closed, his lips parted, his breathing uneven.

Good.

She wanted him begging before she could beg herself.

On her knees now, she untied his shoes with shaky fingers. She removed them and tugged his jeans down his legs, then helped him step out of them. Savannah stood, admiring the fit of the navy-blue boxer briefs, and moving so close she could feel his warm breath on her forehead. She longed to devour those lips that were so near, but held back. Instead, she inched her fingers into the elastic band at his hips and slid the shorts down without touching anything but his outer thighs. He moaned as he became naked in front of her, fully revealed while she remained clothed. Not touching him was absolutely killing her.

He stepped out of his briefs and his gaze bored into hers. She took in the sight of him, every masculine, solid inch and felt a response deep within her body.

“Now what are you going to do with me?” His voice was ragged, husky, so sexy.

She stood on her toes and placed light kisses on his lips, still without touching the rest of him. “Whatever…I…want.”

His arms closed around her and he forced her up against his length, pressing his hardness into her. Jake ran his palms over her back, and settled his mouth on hers, kissing her until she was dizzy. She nearly forgot that this was
her
deal. She was the boss for the next half hour, hour, night, however long necessary to make him crazy and to stop this insane craving inside herself.

She pulled away and shook her head, her lips hinting at a smile. Taking his hand, she led him to the end of the bed and gently pushed him onto it. She stood between his knees and drew her sweater up inch by inch, then over her head. Jake moaned again when he saw the red lace she wore underneath. He reached out and cupped one of her breasts, but she took his wrist.

“No touching. Not yet,” she said, hardly recognizing her own voice.

She kicked her shoes off, unbuttoned her jeans and wriggled out of them, revealing more red lace, which met with more approval. She smiled, feeling the power of his desire, knowing she could have just about anything from him right now. Knowing she would give him almost anything.

She prolonged the striptease, her hands shaking even more, her knees threatening to give out. She undid her bra and let it slide down her arms to the floor. Then she hooked her fingers into the strings at her hips and eased them downward. In the dim light, she saw Jake swallow as his eyes followed. She inched out of her panties, and the predatory, barely restrained look he sent her made her shiver. And step forward to touch him at last.

J
AKE’S PATIENCE WITH
being passive for Savannah’s sake was running mighty low. He’d never been this turned on in his life, and seeing as how he remembered in exquisite detail the only other night he’d shared with her, that was saying a lot.

He lay back on her bed now, completely still except for his heart, which slammed against his chest, and his lungs which fought for oxygen. She slid over him teasingly, hovering just above him, not quite making contact. And he waited. Biding his time.

Savannah finally moved in and kissed him, hard, and Jake would have wept with joy if he hadn’t been so swept away by the taste of her, the feel of her lips on his. It was as if they’d never kissed, and yet the kiss was so perfect and familiar.

Her body fit between his legs, her breasts pressed against his chest, and that was just about all Jake could stand of lying there under her. He wrapped his arms around her and with one fast move had her beneath him. Surprisingly, she didn’t complain. In fact, she became more frantic for him, grabbing his ass, making sexy little noises in her throat.

He needed every bit of willpower to pull back six inches and break the contact of their mouths.

“One thing,” he said, sounding out of breath.

“Don’t even say it….”

“I’d like to think we’re older and wiser, but…birth control? Apparently, we’re pretty fertile together.”

“Oh. It’s okay. I’m on the pill.”

“That’ll take care of pregnancy.”

“Jake, I haven’t had sex for almost two years. I’m clean. You’re the only one we need to worry about.”

“Same for me,” he said, secretly thrilled she’d had no one since her divorce. He kissed her again.

“Same for you what?” she asked, inching to the side.

“I’m clean.”

“Has it been two years for you? Is that what you mean?”

He went back to kissing her, hoping to distract her.

“Jake.”

“What?”

“Tell me.”

He drew away and stared down at her. “Not two years. Not quite one year. But I’ve had a physical. I’m clean. Now…if my recent history checks out okay, can I get back to what I was doing?”

She pulled his head down and got back to it for him, which worked just fine for Jake. When she somehow rolled back on top and straddled him, it was still fine. More than fine. She eased herself down on him, taking him inside her.

This
was the closeness he’d ached for ever since he’d first experienced it. For nearly twelve long years, she’d been in his dreams, and still the reality of her blew his mind—which was nothing compared with what she was doing to the rest of him.

Having her on top gave him the erotic show of a lifetime. Her languid sexy movements were driving him mad. Jake reached up for her breasts and ran his thumbs over her pebbled nipples, played with them, pinched them lightly. Savannah threw her head back and arched even more, moaning his name and a jumble of other words that nearly made him lose it.

Their slow pace became more frantic quickly, until Jake knew that if he didn’t hold her back he’d lose control too early. To get her to this point had taken him long enough; he was not going to ruin it for her. Grasping her beautiful backside, he again switched their positions and slowed things down a little. A very little, because no matter who was in control, it was too good between them. Her hips rose to meet him at every thrust. He became oblivious to any intention to send her over the edge first, as the need in him built to a fevered pitch, burning through him, making him lose his mind.

Savannah called out his name and dug her nails into his back, and there was no hope for him any longer. He plunged over right after her, losing awareness of everything except the exquisite woman in his arms and the way she made him feel.

Their hearts pounded in unison and they both gasped for air in the aftermath. When Jake could muster the strength, he rolled to his side, Savannah along with him.

“Holy…”

“Yeah,” she said with a lazy, satisfied grin. “We’re good at that.”

“
Good
doesn’t seem like the right word.”

“I know, but my brain doesn’t have enough oxygen to locate a better one.”

She trailed her fingertip over his jaw, down his shoulder and onto his upper arm. There, she stopped at a tattoo, which appeared to be healing.

“Is this new?”

He nodded and moved so she could see it. “You might recognize it.”

Savannah flipped on the lamp on the nightstand. He feasted his eyes on her nakedness as she inspected his tattoo.

“It’s one of Allie’s designs.” She traced it tenderly.

“You got it. My sister did the tattooing for me. She was very impressed with it.”

“I can’t believe you did that.” Savannah grinned sentimentally. “You’re a total softie.”

“No way. Softies don’t get tattoos.” He pulled her closer and ran his fingers lightly up and down her back, thinking he’d like to stay this way for the rest of the weekend. Or longer.

J
AKE OPENED ONE EYE
, momentarily confused until he recognized Savannah’s bedroom. The sun had risen, though the day must be gloomy and overcast, judging by the dimness of the room.

Savannah was tucked up against him, her naked body partly on top of his, her back toward him. He touched her stomach gently, not wanting to wake her but unable to resist the silky feel of her. He stirred just enough to see over her to the clock on the nightstand. Eight-thirteen. Perfect. Still some time to wake her in the most erotic way he could conjure and linger in bed with her.

He inched away, and Savannah’s body shifted so she was flat on her back. She made no sign that he’d awakened her yet, but he would change that.

Jake leaned over her and trailed his fingers over her nipple, teasing it and pinching it. He could tell she was aware of his touch, though now pretending to still be asleep. That was okay. Two could play that game. He smiled to himself, anticipating the challenge of arousing Savannah.

He took her nipple into his mouth and circled it with his tongue. Savannah tensed a fraction but still didn’t open her eyes. He dragged his tongue from her breast to her navel, giving every inch of her skin close attention. She was very obviously awake, breathing unevenly, but still she kept her eyes closed, as if she could fool him.

His kisses moved lower, then lower still, to the place between her legs that was hot and moist, anticipating his touch. At the first caress of his tongue, her body jolted to life, arching toward him as a needy moan escaped her throat.

“Oh, you’re awake,” he said innocently, grinning up at her.

Her lids were only half-open. “
Awake
is one word for it,” she said breathlessly.

“What’s another word?” he asked, after suckling and teasing her body some more.

“About to crawl out of my freaking skin,” she gasped, arching again.

“You sound like you’re having a hard time breathing,” he taunted.

“Can’t…imagine…why…” She was tunneling her hands through his hair, trying to pull him closer.

“Maybe you should consult a doctor.”

He brought her nearly to the edge with his tongue, then crawled up her body, bestowing kisses and nibbling her skin, until he reached her lips.

“You,” she said, wrapping her legs around him, “are such a tease.”

“You could send me home.” He rubbed his hardness against her and she moaned again.

Savannah took control then, directing his shaft exactly where she wanted it to go, then thrusting her hips against him, making him just as wild and hot as she was. Damn, this woman knew how to work magic.

Holding on longer than Savannah demanded a gargantuan effort. The witch was making him crazy. She met every thrust and gradually drove their tempo to a frenzied rush. They rolled over several times and nearly fell off the bed, kicking blankets out of their way, laughing together. When she finally climaxed and called out his name, he let himself go and fell with her.

They lay quietly, still joined intimately, slowly returning to reality.

“Not a bad way to wake up,” she said at last, running her fingers over the stubble on his cheek.

Jake couldn’t help smiling in agreement. “I could stand to wake up like that for the rest of my days.”

Her fingers stopped moving. She dropped her hand to her side and didn’t meet his eyes. There was nothing overt, but the expression on her face told him very clearly she had a problem with what he’d just said. A problem with them having a future together.

He was an idiot for believing her seduction last night had any meaning.

He sat up and swung his feet over the side of the bed to the floor, rubbing his face with his hands. Savannah stood on the opposite side and, from the sound of it, drew on her robe.

“So now you’re backing out,” he said.

“We shouldn’t have slept together.”

“I don’t know,” he said, standing and searching for his underwear. “I think it was inevitable.”

Savannah shook her head. “I was weak. I’m sorry if you interpreted it—last night—to mean more.”

He stared at her, feeling tired. God, so tired. Defeated. “You’re doing this again.” There was no question in his voice, because obviously, she was running away from him once more. He yanked on his underwear, then shoved his legs into his jeans, his jaw set. “I would’ve thought that in all these years you’d have grown up enough to handle the intensity. To handle us. Not pull the same thing as before.”

“This isn’t the same.” She wrapped her white robe more tightly around her and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Oh? We sleep together and a few hours later you change your mind. I’m not seeing how it’s any different.”

“The difference,” she began, her voice shaky, “is that before, I was scared and might have even made a mistake. This time?” She inhaled deeply and tilted her chin to gaze up at the ceiling. “I know what I’m doing. I let this happen because I wanted it. Wanted to spend the night with you.”

He slipped his shirt on with a grimace, then stepped toward her. The expression on his face must have given his anger away, because she edged back.

“You can’t have it both ways, Savannah. I won’t play that game with you.”

“I’m not playing a game….”

“The hell you aren’t. You want me enough to have me spend the night when the kids aren’t here, but you’re too scared to make a commitment and have me in your life full-time. It doesn’t work that way. If you want me, you get all of me. You let me into your life and your kids’.”

Savannah walked past him. “Is this an ultimatum, Jake? Your way or the highway?”

She kept her back to him, so she didn’t catch his nod.

“Yes.” He’d never been so sure about anything in his life. “I can’t play around with you whenever the opportunity arises, when the kids are at Michael’s for the weekend, and then walk away when it’s time for you to return to your real life. You can’t ask that of me.”

She turned around. “I’m not sure I was asking that.”

“Then what?”

She shook her head slowly, shoulders sagging. “I still can’t marry you, Jake. Not now, not a year from now. We’ll just get hurt in the end.”

“
Who
will get hurt?”

“You.” She met his gaze, her eyes shining with emotion. “Me.” She sat on the edge of the bed. “Allie and Logan, too, eventually.”

She hadn’t changed a bit, he thought angrily, stifling the urge to punch something. “Let me see if I can figure out your theory, here. We get married. Because you went through one bad marriage that ended in divorce, you and I would most certainly end up divorced, too, thereby hurting everyone in the family. The kids would lose another dad, you’d lose another husband….”

“That,” she said, springing up, “is exactly what would happen if I made the humongous mistake of marrying you.”

Jake pressed closer to her, his temper raging. “You have feelings for me, Savannah. I know you do or I wouldn’t be here. It
is
just like before. You’re afraid of what you feel, so you’re running away again.”

Clenching her jaw, she shook her head. “You’re wrong.”

“You don’t have feelings for me? You expect me to believe that?”

“I do have feelings for you, Jake. I love you.” She spat the words at him as if they were a curse, and he stood there, stunned, for several long, confusing seconds.

“You love me.” His voice was much quieter. She’d taken all the force out of his anger with that one little admission. Now his heart pounded with cautious hope.

“I love you,” she repeated. “Whether I think that’s the best idea or not, I freaking love you. Is that what you want from me?”

Jake’s mouth flirted with a grin. Not only did she love him, but she’d
admitted it.
“That’s a decent start.”

“Well, that’s all you get. Because sometimes love isn’t enough to make things work.”

The hope died with her words and the determined look on her face. She marched off to the kitchen and began viciously scrubbing a dirty pan soaking in the sink. Jake followed her and leaned against the wall, watching her.

“I don’t understand you, Savannah. I’ve known you for almost as long as I’ve been alive, and after all these years, I just don’t get you.”

“You’re not supposed to,” she said. “It doesn’t concern you.”

“You love me, but say we won’t work.” He straightened and advanced on her. “Yeah, I’d say it concerns me.”

He wrested the pan from her and calmly set it in the sink. Her hands were dripping, but he took both of them in his anyway, and turned her toward him.

“Don’t do this,” she said.

“Do what?”

“Reason with me.”

Jake chuckled. “Excellent advice.”

He grabbed the towel hanging on the oven handle and dried their hands. Then he looked hard into her eyes and tried like crazy to get through to her.

“Savannah, we’ve got something between us, a hell of a something. I know you’re scared of having another failed relationship, but what if we could make it work?”

She shook her head and broke eye contact. “I’m not scared. I’m just not up for it.” She moved a couple of steps away from him. “I don’t want to change the way I am. I’m impossible to live with.”