The Secret's Out (Hawks MC: Caroline Springs Charter, #1) (23 page)

Dressed in a knee-length black dress, I walked from the bedroom to the kitchen where Talon, Blue, Clary, Mum, Zara and the kids were, all dressed in their best clothes. Even Talon and Blue had on suits, something I thought I would never see, except for the day they got married. Which was coming up for Blue and Clary.

Blue and Clary hugged me tightly. Clary pulled back and gave me a sad smile as the front door opened and in walked my men.

Goodness. My hand went to my chest. They had always looked amazing, no matter what they wore, but that day they were also in suits and they looked incredible.

“Everything organised at the compound?” Mum asked. We had decided to have Dad’s wake at the compound. It was the biggest and best place for it. Dad did love going there.

“Yeah, Nance. Simone’s there with some brothers organising the whole thing.”

Simone. She had been wonderful. When my men weren’t with me, she was.

“Good.” Mum smiled. As she walked past me to the front door, she stopped, took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “You have the perfect people surrounding you, Josie. I’m so glad.”

“I am too.” I nodded, kissed her cheek and followed her out the front door to the car.

When we pulled up to the funeral home, I wasn’t sure we would find a park, the area was surrounded with Harleys and other vehicles. We drove past many familiar faces, Vi, Travis, Warden, Griz and Deanna with their baby boy, Nickolas. Nary was there with Stoke, Malinda and Josh. Also Mrs Cliff showed, alongside her was Dallas, Dive, Killer, Ivy, Dodge and many more biker brothers.

Talon parked his car first in the three reserved spots left. He had Zara and the children in it. Next was Blue’s, in it with him was Clary, Mattie and Julian. Our car was last to park, Caden had been driving with Eli in the front next to him and I was in the back, holding Mum’s hand.

We got out of the car. Maya came over and took Mum’s other hand. Mum smiled down at her grandchild, lifting their joined hands and kissing it.

Making our way in, we received a lot of sorrow-filled messages as we passed by many people. Mum sat up in the front on the end. I sat behind her in the middle of my men, while the rest of our family surrounded Mum. Where everyone else sat I didn’t take notice because Talon suddenly appeared on the podium standing at the mic and next to Dad’s coffin. The lid was closed, which I was grateful for.

The day before, it had been our own family viewing. I hated it was called that. We went to the funeral home to see Dad laying to rest in his coffin, to say our final goodbye. If Caden and Eli hadn’t been with me when it was my turn in the room with him, I would have lost it.

It hadn’t been my dad in that coffin.

There was nothing left of
him
inside his body and feeling that, feeling the loss all over again, was like a hand sunk into my chest and squeezed my heart, shredding it into tiny pieces.

Eli carried me out of the room. My men then took me straight home where I curled into a ball and cried myself to sleep.

Talon cleared his throat in the mic and the room quieted.

“The usual ritual would be to have the reverend up here talkin’ about Richard. Only Rich didn’t want some stranger up here rambling on about some shit, about him and his life.” Talon turned his head to the reverend. “Sorry,” he muttered, bowing his head. The reverend smiled and nodded. “Richard had come to me a long time ago and said if anything happened to him, he wanted me up here talkin’ about him.” Talon smiled. “He also knew Nancy would hate it ‘cause of my slang. He wanted one last word in.” Mum snorted and shook her head as Talon smiled down at her.

“Richard Alexander was a good man. He was the best of the best and an honorary brother to the Hawks club.” Talon waited while the shouts, cheers and clapping from his biker brothers stopped. “He took care of his own with everythin’ he had. He loved his children with his whole heart. He’d be sad that he’s gone and won’t get to meet the rest of his grandkids, because his grandkids meant the world to him, like his own kids did. Richard will be missed by many people, but more by his family. The world won’t be the same without him.” He cleared his throat. “While we take a look at his past, let’s listen to one song that Rich enjoyed.” He nodded to someone, and the screen to the left of Talon started showing pictures of Dad. The speakers played “Bad to the Bone” by George Thorogood. People smiled, some laughed, but most cried.

Once the song ended, Mum kissed Maya on her head and stood, making her way up next to Talon. My eyes stayed on Maya, who also stood and moved in between Julian and Mattie. There she cuddled in. Zara smiled sadly at her and nodded, then placed her arm around Cody, whose whole body was shaking. Surprisingly, the twins were being good. Though, I guessed, in their own way, they knew the day wasn’t a good one.

Mum stood on the podium, wiped her tears and stepped up to the mic. “My husband, my pain in the backside, my...as Richard would have said, my better half has left this world. He’s left many wonderful memories.” She paused as her bottom lip wobbled and fresh tears showed in her eyes. I squeezed tightly on to my men’s hands. “Richard would want his children and our grandbabies to know...he would want you all to know that he’s not far from you. Even now I’m sure he’s looking down and telling me to stop my blubbering.” She smiled fondly. “However, he knew I was never capable of it. He didn’t care that I blubbered on about things. He just liked to tease, but all the teasing was out of love.” She took a deep breath and looked to the roof. “Richard Alexander, you wait for me. I will always love you. No man could compare to you. Ever.” After a shuddering breath, she finished with, “I love you, my one true love.”

I watched as Talon nodded to someone again and the speakers filled with Pink’s “True Love”. A giggle left my mouth and then it turned into a sob. I reached my hand out to my sister’s shoulder. Her hand came up to touch mine briefly as I watched her own shoulders shake with grief.

Over the screen, more pictures showed of Dad, only that time they were of him with his family, with his grandkids and children. Each one was like a knife to the heart because they showed how much of a great man he was and how much he would be missed.

How much it hurt that he was gone.

My knees came up to the seat and I curled my body into them. My chin resting on my knees as I cried and watched the pictures flashing across the screen. Coldness was overtaking my body. I couldn’t stop shaking. My men, my sweet men, knew what I was feeling and tried, with their arms at my back, rubbing some warmth into me. Only I knew it wouldn’t work.

Nothing would work.

My body was feeling the loss of my dad.

My brain was screaming at how unfair it all was.

And my heart ached like a piece of it had been torn away.

When Mum sat back down, I slowly reached out to her as she brought Cody into her side while he cried. Running a hand over her back, she looked to me and smiled sadly. I had to remember I wasn’t the only one feeling the way I was. I wasn’t the only one feeling his loss.

Caden and Eli moved. They stood. Eli was already in the aisle and Caden was stepping around me before I started to panic. No, I needed my men.

Caden leaned in, took my hand and whispered, “We’ll be with you soon.” He gestured with his head to Dad’s coffin where Talon, Blue, Griz, Killer and Stoke were already standing.

It was time for Dad to go.

He wished to be cremated.

Looking up to Caden, I nodded. He kissed my cheek and turned. As soon as he stepped out of the way, I felt someone take my hand, Mattie, and then someone was at my side. Nary. Before I left Ballarat, Nary and I had become fast friends. Having her beside me helped, but nothing could have prepared me for the next song or watching the men carry our dad out of the funeral home.

The speakers filled with Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men singing “One Sweet Day”.

I crumbled into my friend’s arms while holding my brother’s hand as we followed Dad’s casket out to the waiting car.

J
osie

Too soon we
were at the compound. After walking out of the funeral home, and after the car had driven away to the crematorium, I was soon whisked away from Nary, into my men’s arms. Mum decided to drive with Maya and Cody, while the twins went with Blue and Clary. When we arrived, the atmosphere was sad even though the sun shone. The compound, a usually busy, laughing, happy place, was now one where people walked around talking quietly with sober expressions. We mourned Dad, but the day shined over such a wonderful man.

My tears had dried up and I was making my way around the side of the compound when Nary called out.

Turning, I smiled as she walked quickly our way. I looked back to my men and said, “Why don’t you both go through. I’ll be in there soon.”

“Is that code for you wanting to talk to Nary about us?” Eli teased.

“Yes.” Nary smiled as she stopped beside me.

Eli chuckled while Caden smirked. He quickly kissed me and started for the tall side gate. Eli slid his hand to my waist, winked and said, “Make sure you talk us up real good, babe.” Then he kissed me and followed Caden.

Nary, taking my hand in hers, brought my attention away from my men and back to her smiling face. She waited until a few stragglers walked out the back of the compound before saying, “I’m so happy to see you’re cared for by not only one but two men.” Then her smile slipped. “It’s sad Richard won’t get to see more of it.”

Licking my dry lips, I nodded. “It is.”

“Still, he knew, and from what Stoke told Mum, he was very happy about it. He said he knew you were meant to be loved and fiercely so. He was happy that he got to know you’d be taken care of.”

Hugging her, I said, “Thank you.” Pulling back, I asked, “What’s been happening with you? It’s been too long since we’ve emailed last.”

She shrugged. “Just the same really.”

“How were the exams?” Nary was in her final year at high school. She was still contemplating on where to attend uni the following year.

“Good, I think at least.”

“Have you picked a university?”

She laughed. “No, but I’m close.”

I hesitated before asking, “How are things with Saxon?”

She groaned. “The same. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. Besides, he’s moving soon.”

“I heard. So...there is always a chance you could attend my uni?” I smiled.

She grinned, shrugged and looked to the ground. “I’m not sure. It’s hard to like someone who wants nothing to do with you...who sleeps with everything he can get his hands on and ignores the only one who would care for him.”

Sighing, I touched her shoulder. “One day he’ll come around.”

Shaking her head, she said, “I doubt it and you never know, by the time that happens, I could have moved on.” She laughed then. “At least then Stoke would be happy. I’ve lost count of the times he’s told me to get over the undeserving little shit.”

I threw my head back and laughed. Stoke would say that. He was very protective of Nary and Josh. I brought Nary in for another hug. “Thank you, you always did know what to say to make me smile.”

“Same with you,” she whispered and pulled back. “At least I know all I have to do is talk about my sucky love life.”

“I’m sure it won’t be sucky for much longer. Someone will see your worth and sweep you off your feet.”

“Just like your guys have with you,” she teased.

Laughing, I nodded. “Yes, just like my guys.”

“Two men, Josie. Two!”

Biting my bottom lip, I blushed. “Every day I wake thinking of how lucky I am. It helps that they get along so well. They’ve accepted that I couldn’t choose between them.”

“
So
lucky.” She sighed giddily.

“I know.”

“Not for long,” a new voice snarled.

Nary and I jumped and turned to the entrance of the car park of the compound.

No.

Not today.

Not any day.

“You come with me now or I start shooting,” Cameron ordered and raised his gun high, pointing it right at Nary.

“Don’t,” I pleaded and stepped in front of Nary. My heart pounded in my ears, my hands shook as I held them out in front of me.

“Then come with me.” He held out his other hand toward me.

“Why? Why do this, Cameron? Do you know what today was for me? Do you even care?”

“No, I don’t care that your dad died. Perfect opportunity for me. You are all I have ever wanted and I get what I want...one way or another.” He sneered. “Now walk toward me and I won’t have to hurt anyone.”

“Why did you kill your dad and Caden’s mum?”

Please, please someone walk back out the front. Please.

“We’ll talk about that later,” he snapped.

“No. I-I can’t go with a person who’s willing to kill people.” I gulped and stepped back into Nary more.

“Don’t you see? I had to do it. They were worthless, disgusting people. Now come.” He shook his hand in front of him.

“Can I, please, can I just say goodbye to people?”

“No!” he snarled and then caught himself. “You will not go to those men again. They’re nothing, Jo-Jo. I’m more than them. I can provide for you. You’ll be happy with me.”

“But—”

“Josie,” he growled. “Come now or your friend won’t be the only one I shoot today. I’ll walk out the back and open fire on everyone even if I get shot in the process.”

No, God, no, the kids. Mum, my family. My men.

“Don’t, Josie,” Nary pleaded and grabbed my arm. She knew I wouldn’t risk anyone else.

Turning to her with tears in my eyes, I smiled sadly and said, “I have to.”

“No, no, you don’t. Please, don’t do this.” She leaned in and whispered, “I’ll scream. The men will come, they will.”

I cupped her cheek and wiped her tears with my thumb. “But not before you get hurt. I can’t let that happen. Not when I can stop it. Seek help after I’m gone—”

“Josie, now,” Cameron barked behind me.

“My men will hunt him down. They
will
find me,” I whispered to Nary. Turning, I stepped up to Cameron. He took my hand and started for the entrance.