The Sect (13 page)

“They are beautiful,” I croaked, having not used my voice in days.

“It can be beautiful here,” she said wistfully. “Once you start going to the theater—or church as some call it—and get the hang of things, it will get better, Keaton. You just have to want it to. Things will be really tough for you here if you keep doing what you have been. Stop fighting. I’ve been there and it never works. There is no escaping this place, at least not alone. Believe me; I’ve tried. I didn’t appreciate all the gifts Reven gave me. I finally do. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. This place is paradise.”

She had obviously been brainwashed into thinking this life was one that she should aspire to have. Being physically punished for disobeying a madman’s whims was far from paradise. I’d never stop fighting as long as I still had a firm hold on my mind. I would never give in because a mentally unstable individual twisted the meaning of a religious text. Reven created a culture of perversity inside his private little world.
 

I needed more information before I could continue to fight, and standing before me was the key to it all. “Were you the one who sent me the roses?” Without waiting for her answer, I continued, “I’m surprised Noah let it slip by.”
 

“Noah is responsible for the flowers,” she said with a grin. “He’s never liked anyone before you. But it’s not a good idea for either of you to act on it—if you both like each other. Our bodies aren’t meant for any man other than Reven—unless he wants to share. Anyway, it’s good to have Noah on your side. He’s the disciplinarian around here and he has a lot of power—sometimes it seems like he has just as much as Reven.” She covered her mouth, her eyes widening. “That was such a stupid slip up,” she muffled through her hand before dropping it. “Please don’t tell anyone I said that. It would anger Reven and I can’t stand it when he’s mad at me.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” I told her carefully.

“I’ve wondered about you. What they tore you away from.” A wry smile pressed across her lips as she shook her head. “Just know that you have a friend here.”

I eyed her hands as they dangled down her sides; they trembled severely and I couldn’t discern if it were from the cold or if she were nervous around me. “How long have you been here?”

“I don’t count the days anymore,” she replied. “I’m waiting until…”

“Until what?”

“I’m not even sure.” Her face scrunched up in confusion. “Maybe I just want something from Reven. Exclusivity maybe. To feel truly as special as he always says I am when he takes me to his room at night.” She looked at her hands and stuffed them inside the pockets of her pants. “I love him so much. I want him to love me the way I love him.”

I restrained myself from shaking my head or taking a step farther and shaking her shoulders to help her snap out of her state.
 

As I gazed inside the last stable next to the door, the mare began to stir. Glancing back at Jayme, her eyes held a contradiction to everything Jeff had ever taught me. There wasn’t a hint of a sinister nature to the woman from what I could determine. Nor did she read as one who couldn’t appreciate the little things. She looked like I did the moment I decided to make the street my home, broken.
 

Trust wasn’t something I could’ve easily given to someone who claimed this place wouldn’t be horrible if I just obeyed. Jayme had been indoctrinated. I couldn’t accept anything she had to say as a coherent truth.

 
She lifted her hand, struggling with moving a stray hair—blowing against the wind—from my face. Sighing, she shoved her hands back into her pockets. “I can tell that you’re stubborn and you’re never going to give up. I don’t want things to get worse for you.” Her words were as genuine as the softness in her eyes.
 

Regardless of the situation and the numbness I wanted to feel, the pull to her was strong. I wanted to help her and get her out of this place before she became hopeless. “Jayme, you don’t know me.”

“So…I shouldn’t care?”

I didn’t have an answer for her, so I looked down at my feet as I kicked at the frozen dirt. “I don’t know if I should trust you. You don’t know if you should trust me, either.”

No longer restrained, her hand lifted to brush against my face. My first reaction was to step back, and when I did, my foot hit uneven ground. Grasping for my hands, she pulled me back on even ground before I tumbled down onto the dirt. “We have to make the best of where we are.” She stared at me, her eyes holding to a stark seriousness. “You have to be accepted into the Rebirth Sect. You just…have to.”

My eyes quickly lifted to hers. There was so much emotion in her last sentence; I knew it held a hidden meaning. She meant something beyond what Reven and Noah were directing me to do. Did she mean that she would help me once I was?

A sinking feeling in my chest made me wonder if I was dreaming, because her words were very much like Jeff’s.
I’m losing my mind.
“Make the best of it?” I hissed, keeping my voice low. “You have to know what he—they did to me. I’m sure they did it to you, too.”

“Reven believes in punishment for disobedience. He believes in rewarding good behavior. The rules apply to me, too, Keaton.” With a sadness taming her smile and her eyes glossed over, she continued. “The rules apply to everyone. The punishments are harsher for the rebels—the discards—the other word they call them that I don’t want to say.”

“Rebels? Discards?” The disgust in my voice became palpable. How could she or anyone easily refer to people so carelessly as human trash? “Is that the official name?”

“You were closed up in that room for a while. Did you find The Doctrine? Everyone finds The Doctrine and reads it when they are locked away the first time. You didn’t read The Doctrine completely, did you? No, that is not the official name. It’s just what I call them. They are…other people who live on the land. They live in the basement of the theater. You’ll only get three times in the Redemption Room. The discards only get one time to break the rules. If after the third time in that room you continue to be disobedient, you will be ostracized from Rebirth.”

“Does that mean they will let me go?” I asked.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shook her head. “Please don’t disobey anymore, Keaton. You only have one more time to mess up. There are only a few times when you’ll be able to repent and erase your sins, but I don’t know if Reven will allow that with you. I can tell that you anger him. You anger him like no one else has. I don’t know why. He won’t continue to be patient with you.”

“Which makes me wonder why you’re doing this in the first place?” I questioned her. “Aren’t you disobeying him by taking me out here?”

“I was told to do this, so I had help. I won’t be punished for doing this as long as you go back to your room tonight. I don’t know.” She shrugged. “You have to accept your rebirth, Keaton. It won’t be the end; it will be the beginning. You’ll feel so free.”
 

 
“Told to help by whom?”

“I”—she looked down at her hands, her voice became quieter and almost childlike—“can’t say.”

“Jayme,” I began, bothered by her programmed thoughts and words to encourage me to go along with the program, “I don’t know who Reven really is or what he does to afford this, but I don’t care. I won’t be doing any of the things that go on here.”

Her brows raised in unison. “I thought you read some of the book and I explained as much as I could to you. I thought you understood. Reven usually explains everything before you arrive. I didn’t see you when you arrived, but if you went straight to the basement, it must’ve been pretty bad. If he forgot, it must’ve been your less than warm reception to this place.”

A smile pressed across my face, slightly matching the one she gave me. I covered it because it was inappropriate. I was probably miles away from home. A prisoner in a land unknown.
 

Reven and Noah had plans to fracture me—I knew they did. While I thought they never could, smiling after all that had happened to me was very inappropriate. “Reven is a sadist who thinks he’s some divine being. This place is a hideaway for a very screwed up sex cult.”

“I thought that, too,” she replied, her smile fading. “While he can be a kind man—a fair man—he’s a man you should be scared of. Very, very afraid.” She nodded toward the houses down the hill, lined up like perfect boxes along the street. “I told you before, didn’t I? Very rich people come here to hear Reven speak. After they confess their sins, one of the men or women of Rebirth helps them by praying for them, or doing something else in line with the laws of The Doctrine. It’s a different way for Reven to help the more fortunate. He’s doing a good thing here, helping the wealthy and people like us. They give a large donation for their time here. Reven owns a telecommunications company that his family started. He’s so rich it could be a sin within itself, but he’s been chosen. He’s a revenant.”

My breath caught in my throat, my heart stopped beating for just a moment. “What is prayer, Jayme?…and what do you mean by a revenant?” I asked, my voice barely audible.
 

“No one is allowed to tell the story of Reven but Reven. If he tells you, it means you’ve been fully accepted into Rebirth and he considers you his right hand. Only two people know Reven’s story from before he died. To him, he was reborn when he was revived and nothing else should matter to his parishioners other than what he did when he awoke.” She held my gaze without faltering. “Prayer is a sexual act. It can be oral sex or masturbation—a combination of the two. Atonement is intercourse. An act of contrition is whatever Reven decides. With Reven, if he gives you a blessing or prays for you, it can mean anything. The rules of what things are only apply to us.” Her tone was almost clinical and completely off-putting. She’d gotten over the shock of the reason and purpose behind the place a long time ago. “Sometimes, if they pay enough, Reven will allow the members who attend the seminars to indulge fully in their own acts of contrition; they are usually the things they couldn’t do outside of this land without going to jail or something worse. That’s only for the ones he thinks are worthy.”

I was certain that what she meant by worth had nothing to do with the individuals’ ability to atone or confess. Their worth was tied to the price they paid to come here. “Acts of repentance?”

“Some of their tastes aren’t exactly simpleminded. There is no limit to the acts; they can do whatever they please. Sacrificing ourselves to the lost ones, to indulge in what they desire most to free them of their sins, is an honor.”

Fear was evident in my eyes as I realized what I’d be groomed for.

She looked guiltily to the ground. “You have a beautiful voice, Keaton. Use that and maybe things won’t be as bad as you think they will.”

“You…heard me sing?”

She curved a brow with a warm smile that awakened my deadening heart. “The walls in the house—though it’s hard to hear—if you press your ear to the door, you can hear everything.” She bit into her lip, shaking her head. “I sound like a creep, don’t I?”

Having never been shown any kindness from anyone in the house, I was riddled with remorse for making a mark of the one person who was. “Thank you, but…” My eyes darted off to the horizon.

“You want to run, don’t you?” She took in the view alongside me, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her parka. “I should’ve known you’d be stubborn. I went through a lot to be able to show you this, and if you run, I’ll fall from Reven’s favor.” Her eyes watered and almost pleaded with me. “Please don’t do that to me. Having him angry with me breaks me. I’ve been through enough. Don’t do this to me for trying to help you.”

Puzzlement was fixed on my face and delayed my reaction. She didn’t realize nothing she’d been through here was a reward; the entire thing was a punishment and a sick way for a man to make money and exalt his overinflated sense of self.

“Just think…what’s better? The world out there? Or staying here and obeying him every now and then while you live somewhere better? Somewhere with a lot more freedom.”

“This”—I gestured around grandly—“isn’t better to me. This place is just a prettied up version for hell. I’m not impressed with this place and I don’t mean because of the acts, I’m talking about the scenery. I had everything, and I left it all for something less. Jayme, don’t you realize you’ve been brainwashed?” Realizing my last statement was asinine, I shut my eyes and sighed. Jayme was too far gone. It would probably take months of therapy to remove her from the mental state she was seduced into.
 

“I’m happy, Keaton, are you?” She didn’t wait for an answer as she asked, “Are you still going to run? Or are you going to let me take you back like I was supposed to?” She hadn’t noticed I’d been stepping backward since we started the conversation. When she realized it, a flicker of panic crossed her eyes. “Don’t. You won’t get far, and you will get me in trouble. Don’t make me regret this.”

“I’m sorry, Jayme. I really am.” I turned on my heels and ran. I could hear her fast steps just behind me, but I knew how to use evasion over speed.
 

I used the trees as cover and ran in a zigzag pattern. The dense snow packed in the forested area made my steps slow and difficult. I persevered circling back and forth until her steps faded in the foreground and her voice was a soft echo behind me.