The Sex Surrogate (13 page)

Shocking
myself, I think, more than him.

I
scooted closer, reaching for the buttons on his shirt and opening
them. Then I slid my head against his warm skin, and his arms finally
went around me, holding tight.

“Tonight's
session,” he started and I felt myself stiffen against him, but
he only wrapped his arms tighter, “is about masturbation.”

Oh

good

god.

Seriously?

“What
about it?” I heard myself asking, needing to know everything.

“Everything
about it. We will talk about it. Then we will undress. And then we
will do it.”

“Wait.
What?” I said, my voice high and squeaky. Because... no way. No
freaking way. Most women would never masturbate in front of their
spouses. And neither would most men for that matter.

“Ava,
calm down. I know it's an uncomfortable topic for a lot of people.
Actually, this might be one of the hardest lessons. It's
understandable that you feel awkward or embarrassed. That's totally
normal.”

“Do
you?”

“No,
baby.”

Of
course not. Because he had probably done it a hundred times before in
front of someone. Meanwhile I rarely ever did it when I was alone.
Not because I didn't like it or didn't know how, but because,
inevitably, images of my failed sexual conquests would shoot into my
mind and completely ruin it for me.

“But
listen,” he went on at my silence, “there is nothing at
all to feel embarrassed about. A woman making herself feel good is
amazing.
You
making yourself feel good, that is going to be fucking beautiful. And
I can't wait to see it.”

Oh,
god.

My
face felt hot it was so red and I brought my hands up to cover it.

“Are
you more uncomfortable with watching me masturbate or having me watch
you?”

“You
watching me,” I said, the words muffled against my hands.

“Okay.
Then I will start first,” he said easily. And then he was
moving me off of him, going to the side of the bed and stripping out
of his shirt. Then reaching for his zipper. “Don't be shy in
front of me, baby.”

And
I knew what that meant. I knew he wanted me to start taking off my
clothes too. I took a deep breath, rolling my leggings down and off
before reaching to discard my sweater.

“And
the rest?” he asked, sounding husky as his pants fell to the
floor.

I
looked away from him, reaching around for my bra and tossing it
aside, then slipping out of my panties. “Beautiful,” he
murmured, getting into bed beside me. He didn't bother to pull the
blanket up. Because we were beyond that now. “Come here,”
he said, patting his chest and I practically flew at him.

His
one arm went around my back, holding me with firm pressure. Then his
other hand slowly moved down his body. His hands closed around his
thick cock and his thumb brushed across the sensitive, wet head.
Beneath me, his breath whooshed out of his mouth.

Suddenly
I wasn't sleepy anymore. I was apt. I couldn't look away if I tried.
My own desire ignited, strong, almost painful between my thighs. His
hand started to move slowly up and down his cock, holding tightly.

“Are
you watching?” he asked, his voice breathy.

“Yes,”
I admitted.

“I
want to watch you baby,” he said, his arm releasing me so I
moved into the space
beside
him, his arm around my shoulders. “Please.”

Maybe
it was the please.

Or
maybe it was the pulsing, urgent longing for release, but my hand
started to move slowly downward, pausing briefly. My legs opened just
enough to slip my hand between and my fingers slid across my heat. A
small, unexpected whimper escaped my lips and Chase's hand grabbed my
shoulder hard.

“Don't
stop, Ava,” he said, sounding tense. My eyes went up to his,
heavy lidded and the most gorgeous shade of blue I had ever seen in
my life. “Please don't stop,” he said, sending another
jolt of desire. My finger moved upward, finding my clit and moving
across it in slow circles. “There you go,” he praised.
“Just like I said... fucking beautiful.”

My
eyes slid from his, watching his hand moving across his length, the
pace, I realized, the same as mine and I wondered if he did it
deliberately. If he was trying to get used to my rhythms. Cataloging
them for later. So he knew how I liked it when he touched me. When he
was inside of me.

That
was going to be so soon. If this was the third visit... then it went
to follow that, well, he was going to be touching me at the next one.
Touching me how, I wasn't sure. But touching me. And then I don't
know for the next session. But the session after that... we would be
having sex.

It
was going so fast. Before I knew it, it would be over.

There
was a sharp pang, quick, but there, at the idea. Because a big part
of me was pretty sure the only reason things had progressed the way
they had was because it was Chase. Good, understanding, patient
Chase. With all of his charm. With all the right things he always
said. If it was another guy... if it was someone else laying next to
me stroking themselves, would I be able to touch myself too? I felt
my skin turning cold at the idea. The rolling starting in my belly.

“Ava,”
Chase's voice called and I looked down to see he had stopped touching
himself. My eyes went up to his, a question clear in them. “There
you are,” he said. And then his lips came down on mine. Soft.
Passionate. Full of some kind of deep longing. And I felt the
matching longing somewhere buried inside me, and I dove into it. Into
him. Into whatever it was that was between us.

His
tongue slipped between my lips to toy with mine, soft, a light caress
that had me sighing against his mouth. Then it withdrew and his lips
took my lower lip and sucked hard. And the jolt of desire had my
whole body jerking. “Touch yourself, baby. Think of me doing
it.”

Then
my hand was moving against my clit, slow light caresses like I
thought he would tease me with. His big, skilled hands knowing
exactly how to build anticipation. To turn desire into a delicious
slow burn.

His
hand moved to his cock again, stroking almost absentmindedly as he
watched me. My face, my hand between my legs. Pausing in between the
two to take in the view of my naked abdomen and chest.

I
felt myself driving upward, my back arching slightly off the bed.

Unbidden,
wholly unwanted, an image flew through the front of my thoughts. And
suddenly I was seventeen again, laying on my boyfriend's futon, his
hand pressing hard, painfully hard against my clit. The sensation
doing absolutely nothing for me. Then he was
getting
up, stroking his cock a few times, then getting between my legs and
shoving hard. The
pain
was instantaneous and searing.

I
felt the bile rise up in my throat at the memory. Much like it had at
the time. Wrenching away from him and getting sick all over the
floor.

My
hand stopped moving, my thoughts flew around from one bad sexual
encounter to another, making my anxiety bubble up toward the surface,
pushing away the want and need Chase had instilled in me.

But
then I felt Chase's hand come down on mine. I hadn't even realized he
pulled it from around my shoulders, but there it was on top of my
hand, pressing. My eyes flew open.

“Be
here. With me,” he said, his fingers crooking into mine,
pushing against my clit, making me gasp. “Yeah, like that. Keep
your eyes on me.”

So
I did.

And
his hand stayed on top of mine, not helping, just reassuring, just
connecting himself to the motion. Which was exactly what I needed. I
needed that grounding. I needed him to keep me from thinking of the
others before him.

He
just knew that.

I
was groaning quietly, arching off the mattress, my legs moving up and
down, my hips rising to meet my hand at each pass.

“So
sexy,” he growled, tense beside me and I knew he was as close
as I was.

I
tilted my face up toward his and his lips came down on mine. Harder.
Hungry. Desperate. And my body went up up up. My breath caught,
pulling away from his face, feeling suspended in a strange
nothingness for a second.

“That's
it. Come for me, baby.”

Then
I did.

Crashing
into it.

Hard.

My
body pulsating, tightening, every nerve ending attuned to the
sensation as it rolled through me in seemingly endless waves, crying
out, my other hand slamming down on top of Chase's arm.

Spent,
I shifted slightly onto my side toward him. His hand slid off of
mine, resting intimately between my thighs, not touching my sex, but
close. Close enough that he must have felt the heat and wetness
there.

I
looked up to find his eyes heavy, his breathing ragged. Then I
glanced down to see his hand stroking his cock hard and fast and I
suddenly couldn't decide what I wanted to watch more: his face when
he came, or his cock.

But
the decision was taken out of my hands as his hand stroked upward
once more and he came hard. His hand dug into my inner thigh.
“Fuck... Ava...” he growled out, his strokes slowing, his
body slackening.

I
snuggled my head underneath his chin, placing a kiss right below his
throat. The silence set in then, Chase catching his breath, me too
wrapped up in the afterglow of an orgasm to even consider worrying
about anything.

His
head tilted, kissing my forehead gently. “Let me up, babe,”
he said. I made a grumbling noise, rolling off of him, and he
chuckled, swinging his legs off the bed and standing. He walked
toward the door at the end of the sidebar and went inside. I heard
water running and figured it must be a bathroom. Which was good to
know. I reached down and
grabbed
the blankets, bringing them up and around me, suddenly so bone deep
tired that my
eyes
refused to stay completely open.

Chase
came back a moment later, smiling sweetly down at me and coming in
beside me. His arm grabbed me, pulling me to his chest. “It's
okay,” he said, his other arm going around me, “get some
sleep. I'm right here.”

I'm
right here.

That
was exactly where I wanted him.

And
I liked that a lot more than I should.

I
slowly drifted off to sleep with one of Chase's hands stroking
through my hair and the other rubbing across my hips, his heartbeat
slow and strong beneath my ear. It was the most relaxed, most
comfortable I could ever recall feeling in my entire life.

And
I also liked
that
a lot more than I should.

But
soon, sleep claimed my overtired brain and body.

For
the first time in a long time, I dreamed of nothing.

After
the Session

I
woke up as slowly as I had drifted off. I squinted against the
dimness, swearing that it had been brighter when I went to sleep.
Beneath me, Chase was dead asleep. His breathing was slow, his face
so much less intense in sleep.

I
watched him for an uncomfortably long time before I inched off of
him, careful not to wake him, and making my way to my clothes. I
slipped into them quickly, moving to the sidebar and checking my
phone. My heart flew into my chest when I realized it was almost two
in the morning.

Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.

Jake
was going to be all over me about it. Great. That was just lovely. I
grabbed my wallet and keys, carefully letting myself out of the room
and his office. I walked out front, shivering in the cold, looking at
the door guiltily. I couldn't just... leave it open. There were
patient files everywhere. Hell,
my
file was in there somewhere. I'd have a heart attack if someone got a
hold of that information.

I
pulled out my keys, finding the one most similar and fiddling with
the lock for a long time before I finally heard it click, then turned
and hauled ass to my car, Chase's warning about being alone at night
replaying over and over in my head.