THE SHADOWED ONYX: A DIAMOND ESTATES NOVEL (13 page)

Joy nodded and pulled a well-worn sheet of notepaper from her jacket pocket. It had been crumpled and wadded then smoothed out and reread many times during the past week since she got it back from the investigator. She smoothed it flat for the final time.

Joy balled the letter in her fist, her nervous perspiration dampening the paper. Her body reacted the same way it had every time she read it. Rage. The whole tragedy should have been avoided. It was unnecessary. Which was why it was so difficult. Melanie should be there. The thought was nothing short of maddening.

So senseless
.

So needless
.

So stupid
.

Lucas put his hand on Joy’s knee and squeezed gently, pulling her back to the present. “Would you like to say something before we continue?”

Talk directly to Melanie? That had to be what he meant. Did she want to? If she spoke to her, how would she feel if Melanie didn’t answer? What about if she did? But she had to reach out. She might not have the chance again.

Joy nodded. “Mel? Um …” Boy, this was hard. “I want you to know I love you. I already told you I forgive you for what happened. It’s been almost a month since you … left. I want you to be free.”
I want to be free
. “I don’t know if you regret taking your life. I don’t get how it all works. But I want you to know I’ve been so mad at you for leaving me. It’s like a rage consuming me. You took
my
life when you took your own—and for reasons we’d have worked through. You didn’t give me the chance to forgive you. You didn’t trust that I would. But I love you. I always will. And I’m letting go of the anger. I’m letting go of you.”

Joy spread the paper on her knee and glanced at the familiar handwriting for the final time.

So over
.

She held the corner over the flame nearest her. The fire nibbled at the paper then took a bigger bite. Joy lifted it directly in front of her eyes and watched the words burn. The flame engulfed the last word on the page.
Melanie
.

When the paper burned down to the last fraction of an inch, Joy let the last tiny ember fall to the floor where it withered to ash.

“Perfect. How do you feel?” Lucas looked into Joy’s eyes.

“Good. It feels good.” Not exactly free, but on the way there.

“Raven has a gift for you. She will dedicate it now.” Lucas nodded at his girlfriend.

Dedicate it?

Raven dangled a tiny black velvet bag from her finger and looked deep into Joy’s eyes then clasped her left hand. “The black onyx is the stone of release. It will help you in confusing and difficult times. It’s most useful when you need to let go of the past or release an attachment to someone or something.”

She opened the bag and pulled out a silver ring with a black stone nestled in the center setting, flanked by two hands that appeared to be lifting it up. Raven closed her fist around the ring and raised it. “May the power of the onyx and the forces of the spirit world join together to release Joy from the bondage of the flesh. Help her to let go of the past and look forward to the future. Protect her from evil and danger, and guide her in the ways of self mastery.”

Yes
. This was exactly what Joy needed. Please be possible. Was an amen appropriate? Joy snuck a look at Lucas. His eyes were closed, and he swayed to a silent rhythm.

Joy closed her eyes, but they flew open again a second later when she felt Raven’s fingers on her hand.

Raven held the ring on the tip of Joy’s middle finger. “With the union of the physical and the spiritual, please send a guardian to be with Joy at all times. A protector. A companion. Guardian, present yourself to her”—Raven slid the ring onto Joy’s finger—“now.”

Peace and clarity washed over Joy like a tidal wave. She stared at the ring as her breathing slowed to a steady pace. Everything looked the same, but something had happened. What was it?

Joy felt heat, like puffs of warm air, on the top of her foot and glanced down.

She gasped. “Silas.”

The gorgeous white wolf from her dream lay peacefully at her feet. Joy looked into the animal’s beautiful blue eyes and saw all the grief and regret she once carried—now it was on him. She was free.

“Do you guys see him?” Joy stared at the animal, afraid to look away lest he disappear.

Raven and Lucas locked eyes. “See who?”

“The white wolf here beside me.” Joy nodded her head in Silas’s direction. “He’s right here.”

Lucas grinned. “He’s yours alone. No one else can see him. He’ll be with you always.”

He was real? He was hers? Joy felt a mixture of gratitude, peace … and fear. The unknown, such a strange reality.

The tarp crinkled as someone pushed on it from the other side. “Who’s in here?”

Silas growled, foam seeping from the corners of his mouth.

Joy squealed and reached for Silas’s collar. “Who’s there?”

“What is going on here?” Austin poked his head around the drape. “What are you doing?” He locked eyes with Joy.

Couldn’t he hear that murderous barking even through the gulf between their worlds? Joy leaned down to whisper in Silas’s ears. “It’s okay, boy.” Good thing it was pretty dark in there—just a few candles—so Austin couldn’t see exactly what she was doing. Now, how to answer his question? She couldn’t very well tell him about contacting spirits and talking to the dead. After all, Austin thought she was a Christian since she’d always drawn some pretty strong moral lines in the time they dated.

Deflect. That was the answer. “Excuse me? What are
we
doing? The better question is what are
you
doing here?”

“I saw the flicker of light and thought there might be intruders. I wanted to check things out in case you were being robbed or something.” Austin looked pointedly at the incense. “Is this what I think it is? You’re not letting these two mess with your head, are you?” His face scrunched in confusion and concern. “I don’t understand.”

“Well, guess what? You don’t have to understand. It’s got nothing to do with you. In fact, it’s none of your business.”

Austin nodded. “I’m going to make it my business if you’re messing around with this kind of thing. It’s not a game.” He gestured at the dark room. “Do your parents know you’re here? They never let us—”

Joy watched a look pass between Lucas and Raven. Then Raven rolled her eyes.

“Austin, there is no ‘us’ anymore. I have nothing to say to you.”

“That’s not good enough for me.”

“Look, even if Melanie hadn’t died, things happened I can’t just erase from my memory. We wouldn’t be together even if she were still alive. But with her death, and all that’s happened since, there’s no way I can forget the truth. I have no interest in you, and I don’t trust you.” Joy took a deep breath. Might as well let him have it. “I don’t love you.”

“Fine.” His eyes flashed. “But I’m still going to have to talk to your parents about all of this.” He gestured at the circle.

“Ugh, since when did you become so boring? You know, if I had suggested we come out here alone while we were dating, you’d have jumped at the chance. With or without my parents’ permission.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve learned a lot since then. Apparently you’ve done some changing yourself. This is so unlike you.”

Lucas jumped to his feet. “Man, you don’t know her at all. Just leave her alone. It’s not your problem to solve. In fact, like Joy said, it’s none of your business. Which is probably what’s making you mad enough to spit nails. You have no power over her. You gave that up the day you started up with her best friend.”

Austin glared at Luc. “Who do you think you are?”

“Um … invited. Which is more than I can say about you. How about we say good-bye?”

T
he doorbell rang, but Dad got to the door before Joy or her mother could get there.

Stella floated in ahead of Grandpa, her billowy shirt like a powder-blue cloud.

“We’re here and ready for some turkey and dressing!” Grandpa stepped into the house, changing the mood with his first word.

“Not until tomorrow, Grandpa.” Joy poked her head from behind Mom.

Grandpa smiled and reached his arms out for Joy as he’d done every time she’d seen him for seventeen years.

Joy fell into the Old Spice embrace and clung to the familiar wool of his favorite sweater. He held on a little longer than usual but, to Joy, not nearly long enough.

His wife tugged on his arm and grinned. “My turn. How’s my favorite teenager?” Stella dropped her slouchy red bag and pulled Joy into a voluptuous hug, leaning in close to Joy’s ear. “We have to talk. I have some things for you to read.” She released Joy. “Looking forward to some girl talk. Your grandpa’s hearing ain’t what it used to be. Or so he says.”

“Huh?” Grandpa cupped his hand around his ear.

“Just as I suspected. Selective hearing.”

Grandpa’s eyes twinkled, and Stella laughed as though they hadn’t had that little exchange every day since they married three years ago.

Stella held up a bright pink acrylic-tipped finger, and a dozen silver bangles clanked to her elbow. “I have an idea. Let’s leave these old fuddy-duddies to catch up. You come with me. We’ll have some of that girl talk while I unpack.” Stella shouldered her Coach bag and ambled down the hallway toward the guest room.

Joy followed. Should be interesting. She dropped onto the double bed and bounced. The springs weren’t quite what they used to be when Joy used the same bed as a young girl.

Stella shut the door in the bedroom and lifted her shirt, exposing her wrinkled belly, then lowered the waistband of her stretchy, shiny jeans.

What on earth was she doing? Joy felt the door beckoning from behind her back, yet she couldn’t move. Joy stared, her eyes glued to Stella like rubberneckers driving past a car accident. She just couldn’t take her eyes off the older woman. But please, no more reveal.

Stella pulled her skin taut and lowered her pants just a bit more. She raised her eyebrows and cocked her head, like waiting for a reaction.

To what?

The pants shifted a bit lower, and Joy saw it.

Orange and black peeked out above the top of Stella’s jeans. Joy leaned in to peer a bit closer. “Is that …?” No way!

Stella laughed. “Yeah. It’s my latest addition. I got it since I saw you last.” She leaned far over and pressed on her chest, trying to see her own pelvis around her ample breasts. Probably wasn’t happening without a mirror.

“A tiger?”

“Yeah. Not just any tiger. That’s my Kitty.” Stella pulled her pants back into place and patted the spot where her tattoo lay hidden.

“What made you pick a tiger? Just curious.” Why not a heart with a rose and Grandpa’s name? Eww. Gross.

“I just wanted to make sure Kitty was with me everywhere I went. Now she is.” Stella smiled. “If you remember, the last time I saw you was under pretty heavy circumstances.”

“Uh. Yeah. I remember.” Nice way to describe a teenager’s funeral.

“When I got home, I just wanted something to make me feel better.”

“I don’t see how a tattoo could accomplish that. But whatever makes you happy, I guess.”

“Kitty is real. She’s mine.” Stella stared at Joy like she searched for answers. “She, um, takes care of me.”

Wait a second. “Do you mean your tiger is your spirit companion?”

Stella squinted. “What do you know about that stuff?”

“I don’t know. A little bit, I guess.” Meet Silas. “I’ve been looking into some things.” Talk about an understatement.

“Wow. Quite a development since the last time I saw you. You and I have a lot to talk about, but don’t let your grandpa know what’s going on in your head. He’ll go all prayer-time on you.” Stella chuckled. “He’s been all over me ever since I started exploring. Says I’m not the same woman he married.” She shrugged. “I guess in a lot of ways he’s right—this is a far cry from church secretary, that’s for sure. So, don’t say anything or he’ll think I’m influencing you.”

“Don’t worry. I’m the picture of restraint these days.”

Stella lifted some things out of her suitcase and lined them on top of the dresser, pointing each item in a different direction.

“What’s this?” Joy lifted an oval-shaped crystal and looked through the prism into the light.

“Those things are nothing more than tools … or they’re everything.” Stella shrugged. “All depends.”

Like Raven had said the other day.

Joy sighed and lay back on the bed. “I’m getting it—a lot of it anyway. Talking to the universe. Reaching out … you know … to any that might be listening. But it all just seems so cosmic … unreachable.”

“Oh, I know. Believe me, I went through the same skepticism you have. It’s normal to resist releasing yourself to what’s beyond all that you can see. Eventually … slowly, you’ll let go of this piece of confusion and that fragment of doubt until you’re wide open to truth.”