The Shadowsteel Forge (The Dark Ability Book 5) (19 page)

I will end your suffering if you end mine.

Rsiran couldn’t be certain, but it seemed the metal responded.

“Move,” he whispered.

“Rest. Breathe. This will be over soon,” Jessa said.

He licked his lips and tried to swallow. “Move.”

“What are you saying?” she asked.

If he attempted to
push
on the lorcith, he ran the risk of the spikes hitting Jessa, or Della. But he couldn’t tell them what he wanted to do, and even if he could, would they move? Della focused on trying to Heal him, but she could not, not with the metal in him. Rsiran felt that with certainty.

Could he Slide? Even to the side of the room, away from them. The sense of lorcith had changed, maybe his ability to Slide had returned as well.

He eased his awareness of the lorcith and shifted his effort into Sliding.

Nothing happened.

He tried again, this time, trying to
pull
himself, and nothing happened.

Pain suddenly surged in him, overwhelming everything.

He wanted nothing more than for his suffering to end, but it would not. The pain continued to increase, a constant intense fire that burned throughout his body. He couldn’t tell if he screamed again.

It needed to end. He needed peace like he’d felt in the heart of the Aisl Forest, not the torment that he now experienced. But he would never return to the Aisl…

But he could imagine it.

An image of the Elder Trees came to him. With it, came a strange relaxation. If only he could Slide there, but he could not. At least he could see them, if only imagined, in his mind.

Pain exploded again, but different.

And then was gone.

R
siran held his breath
, waiting for the pain to return, but it didn’t.

He opened his eyes, looking for Jessa, but saw nothing but bright light around him. Had his vision changed again? Was he no longer able to see even the blurriness?

At least the pain had stopped.

There was nothing but a strange sense of nothingness. No pain, but also no sense of Jessa holding his hand, and no fragrance from the flower that she wore, and none of the spice of Della’s mint tea. Not the sense of lorcith. Nothing.

Had he died?

If so, at least his suffering would be over.

Yet… this didn’t feel like death.

There was nothing, but there was light.

Rsiran focused on the light. Pure and bright, a sense of warmth came from it, the only other sense that he had.

An area seemed to pulse, drawing him to it. He tried Sliding, but nothing happened. He tried
pulling
himself toward it, but again, nothing happened. All he wanted was to be nearer that light…

Rsiran didn’t think that he moved, but the light changed, and he was next to it.

Up close, there was nothing about the light that was different than it had been from a distance, but he sensed power from it, a great and enormous power. Almost a weight with it, as if the light were something more than simply light.

Another light called to him, and he imagined himself moving to it. Like the last, it brightened and he was there, next to it. As with the other, he had a sense of power from it.

If he wasn’t dead, where was he?

No longer in the room above the Barth, at least his mind wasn’t, but where could he have gone? Sliding hadn’t worked for him. He hadn’t even been able to
pull
himself. But he’d imagined himself moving, and had imagined the Elder Trees…

Could that be where he was?

He turned his focus, looking for signs of other light. Across from him, he saw it. Another powerful light, much like the first two. Rsiran imagined himself there, and he was. This light pulsed slightly, thrumming against him, as if it tried to push him away.

There had been five Elder Trees, hadn’t there? If he really was in the Aisl Forest—at least his mind—and if he really had somehow reached the Elder Trees, had he found three? And if so, could he find the others?

More than that, could he reach the crystals?

Maybe that was what he saw. It was possible the bright white light came from the glow of the crystals. If what Sarah had told him was true, the crystals were deep beneath the ground, only found by the ancient woodsmen.

He looked for another of the lights, but didn’t see it at first. Then, dimly, he saw what he suspected was one of them. Rsiran imagined himself there, and he was.

Something about this light was different. Faded. But why?

Why would this not be as bright as the others? If these
were
the Elder Trees, at least his mental creation of the Elder Trees, why would this one be different?

Did he not have a connection to this one the same way as he did with the first three?

Rsiran didn’t know.

As long as he remained, the faded light didn’t change, remaining dim, distant.

He turned his attention away. What of the fifth? Where was that?

Rsiran saw nothing like the bright light that came from the others, and nothing even like the dim, fading light of this one. There was darkness.

All he wanted was to reach the other Elder Tree.

Rsiran had a sense of movement. It was slow, subtle, but definitely there.

A presence loomed near him, but unlike with the other trees, there was no sense of light, nothing that would tell him that this was an item of power.

Nothing but darkness.

What did it mean that he saw only darkness here? Was his connection to this tree that much less than the others?

He looked toward the now distant spots of light. Three burned brightly, drawing on him even here, and one remained a faded light. Then there was this.

Rsiran had the sense that he drifted in painless nothingness.

What was the purpose of him coming here? He had wanted the pain to end, and now that it had, he wondered what else he would find. Was this it? Was this the reason that he’d come here?

But he had come only in his mind, not with his body. At least, he didn’t think that he had.

And he didn’t want to return to his body. Not yet. It was injured, broken, leaving him with nothing but agony. At least this way, he had escaped the pain, if only briefly.

What of the crystals?

He imagined the wide, empty room where he’d seen the crystals. There was power there as well, maybe even enough for him to understand what Venass tried to do, even if there was nothing that he could do any longer to stop it.

His eyes closed, and when they opened, he was there.

Or was he? How much of this was in his mind and how much was real?

Rsiran realized that it didn’t matter. There was no pain here. Nothing but a sense of warmth and the overwhelming awareness of a greater power. Maybe the Great Watcher, but maybe something else that he didn’t yet understand. If he remained, he had a sense that he
could
understand.

He looked around at the crystals. Each glowed a bright blue, set upon a wooden pedestal that he now suspected was part of the Elder Trees. They were no different than the last time he’d come, but then, that made sense if this was nothing more than his imagination.

Only, why had the Elder Trees been different this time?

Rsiran moved from crystal to crystal, basking briefly in the sense of each before moving on to the next. As he did, he realized that one of the crystals seemed to flicker. The change was subtle, barely more than a shifting of light, but he was certain that it was real.

Each of them appeared shaped the same, and other than the fact that one of them glowed with a rhythmic, pulsing light, there was no difference between them. Even the pedestals they rested on, the wooden stands that he was convinced came from some part of the Elder Trees, appeared the same for each.

As he approached the flickering crystal, he gazed upon it, realizing that in this state, he had no way of holding it. If this was somehow more than a memory, then he was here in mind only. Wasn’t he?

Rsiran floated closer and closer to it. As he did, the light from it continued to glow, and pulse, and then… then he merged with it.

A strange heat so intense that it was practically cold washed over him.

As it did, he had the sense that he floated, moving, this time aware of the movement.

Sensation returned to him, and with it came something like an awareness of pain, but it mixed with the steady song from the lorcith. Rsiran
pulled
on that sense, somehow knowing that there was a necessary sequence—a pattern to follow so that the lorcith could speak to him more clearly. The pain faded, and then disappeared, followed by the sense of lorcith disappearing as well.

Darkness spread around him.

After the brightness from the Elder Trees, and whatever light that came from the crystals, the sudden change jarred him.

Mixed with the darkness, though, Rsiran had the sense that he was not alone.

“Hello?” he asked. Or tried to. No words came out of his mouth.

Rsiran continue to move, aware that he did move, but not certain how.

A near complete blackness overcame him.

He shivered, though was not cold.

All around him, he had the sense of another. In some ways, it reminded him of what he had sensed when he had last held one of the crystals. That time, he’d felt as though he had sat alongside the Great Watcher, looking down upon the world. When he had, there were patches of bright light mixed with the blue light, what he had thought were lorcith and heartstone.

Now there was nothing, as if the light from the lorcith had faded. Or been taken from him.

After learning to see the potential within the lorcith, after no longer needing to fear the darkness of the mines, Rsiran didn’t want to lose it.

“Please,” he tried to say softly.

Again, nothing came out.

That was all there was: nothing.

Was this the end for him? Was that why he could not speak, and why he had no awareness of anything else?
Had
he died and was only now ascending to join the Great Watcher in the After?

But he wasn’t ready. He wanted to be with Jessa, to help his friends, and to prevent Venass from achieving whatever they intended.

Light surged around him. Warmth flooded painlessly through him.

The source of light became clear, flashing from below. One area bloomed brightest, with thin filaments stretching out from it. The colors shifted, and then darkened, before fading. The darkness returned, leaving him in emptiness for a moment that felt like it lasted indefinitely. Slowly, the light began to return, first with a faint bluish-white, and then steadily more brightly, no longer only pure white but with a hint of a bluer light. Soon, the light he saw blazed incredibly bright.

“Heartstone?” Rsiran tried to ask, but no words came out.

There came a flash of movement. The light soared past him, toward him, demanding his attention. Rsiran wanted nothing more than to reach for it, but felt as if he flew past it.

Darkness returned.

And he breathed.

“
R
siran
!” Jessa shouted at him, panic in her voice.

Pain surged through his back, the steady burning pain he’d known before disappearing with the vision or whatever he’d experienced, and he was aware of each of the pieces of lorcith, his connection to it fully restored. As it had been in his vision, he recognized the song from the lorcith, the pattern he had to follow to hear it more clearly, and he
pushed
on it, easing the lorcith from him.

With a sigh, the pain changed. No longer was there the burning pain, now it was nothing more than a throbbing, steady discomfort. A hand moved over his back, and even that faded.

Rsiran took a deep breath and opened his eyes. Part of him feared the blurred vision returning, but he also feared the nothingness, of leaving Jessa before either of them was ready, and the risk of losing her to Venass.

“I’m here,” he whispered.

She moved in front of his face, and he saw her.

Not blurred, and not distorted, but Jessa. Tears welled in her eyes as she cupped his face between her hands.

“What happened?” he asked.

“What happened?” Della repeated. Her voice sounded tired and worn, stretched as thin as he’d ever heard her, and that included when she had kept Brusus alive while the poison tried to set in. “You disappeared on us.”

“Disappeared?”

“I thought you were dead,” Jessa said, sobbing again.

“Your mind was gone. I don’t know how else to describe it,” Della said. “And now… now it is back, but different.”

Rsiran took a breath, and tried to move, thrilled to discover that his neck worked. He rolled his head around, craning to see Della, but Jessa held onto him, preventing him from moving too much.

“Rest easy,” Della said. “Don’t know whether this will stick.”

“The lorcith…”

“I see that you’ve regained your connection to it,” Della noted.

Rsiran took another breath, drawing in his awareness and connection to the lorcith around him, thankful that he still
could
feel it. But… something changed. He sensed lorcith, and could hear the soft song from it, but he had to focus in order to do so. What he heard more easily was a different sound, one that surprised him most of all.

“Heartstone,” he breathed.

“What about heartstone?” Jessa asked.

He moved his arms and wiggled his feet, moving them mostly to prove to himself that he could. Everything worked.

Could he Slide?

He needed to rest, to recover. He didn’t doubt what Della told him, but he had to know.

Thinking of the door, he tried
pulling
himself toward it.

And failed.

Not able to Slide yet.

“What was that?” Della asked.

“I… I tried to Slide,” Rsiran admitted.

“That was no Slide,” she said.

“No. It didn’t work.”

Della touched his back and his arms, and then she began to roll him over. Jessa helped, and together, the two of them flipped him onto his back. There was none of the pain that he’d been feeling, nothing but a dull throbbing, like a memory of the pain.

Rsiran took a deep breath. His strength began to return, but he felt weakened, as he had when first learning to Slide. Maybe that was why he hadn’t been able to Slide.

“What happened?” he asked. “Where’s Luca?”

“He ran,” Jessa said. There was more anger in her voice than Rsiran would have expected. “When the third spike came out, something happened.”

“He was afraid,” Della said. From her firm tone, Rsiran suspected they’d had this conversation already. “Rsiran’s screaming frightened him. It was as if the spikes weren’t meant to come out at all.” Rsiran started to sit up, but Della pressed a hand on his chest trying to force him back, but he still managed to sit all the way up. “You shouldn’t be sitting up yet.”

“And I can’t stay here,” he said. “That Venass would attack me—”

“You think it means they no longer fear you.” Della patted him on the chest. “But you still need your rest.”

“Given the attack, clearly they don’t,” Rsiran said.

“Rsiran, do you really think they are not fearful of the man who can Slide past their heartstone? I think you gave them greater pause than you realize.”

Jessa grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back down. “Rest. I can see how tired you are, even if you think you’re hiding it.”

“I’m not hiding it. I
am
tired, but I can’t wait here any longer.”

Della blocked him. “What happened to you when you disappeared?”

“I thought you said I didn’t go anywhere.” He stopped trying to stand and took a deep breath.

“Your body might not have gone anywhere, but…” She shook her head. “I’ve never seen anything like it. I thought you were gone, only your heart still beat and you still breathed. Had you not… had either of them stopped… I would have expected you to be dead from what I could tell by trying to Read you.”

Rsiran touched his wrists and realized the bracelets were gone. Della must have removed them at some point. He shouldn’t have expected anything less, especially given that she needed to understand what was happening to him and find a way to help. But where had she put the bracelets? Having the reassurance that he couldn’t be Read, and that he couldn’t be Compelled, was valuable to him.

Without the bracelets, he’d been too sick to prevent her from Reading him. With as much as he’d gone through, shielding his mind was the last thing he would have thought about. And he wasn’t even sure that he would have managed it even if he had remembered. Shielding it effectively required holding onto a connection to lorcith or heartstone. He wouldn’t have been able to do that as injured as he was.

“You haven’t answered,” Della said.

“I… I don’t know what happened.”

“Tell me where you went first. Then we can figure out what happened.”

“I’m not even sure I know where I went,” Rsiran said. “I
think
I was by the Elder Trees, and then beneath them, with the crystals. I held one. Or merged with one.” He tried to shrug. “I don’t really know. It all seemed something like a dream.”

Della took a step back, and her eyes widened, the color in them darkening. Rsiran felt a soft rustling through his mind as she Read him and didn’t have the strength or the desire to attempt to stop her.

“You returned to the forest,” she said in a whisper. “You actually did it.” She met his eyes, and he saw unexpected emotions there.

Rsiran took a deep breath. Whatever had happened there felt too faded, too indistinct now, almost as if it weren’t real at all. And maybe it wasn’t. How could any of that have been real? He had only imagined that he traveled to the Elder Trees, and only imagined that he returned to the crystals. Hadn’t he?

“I didn’t
do
anything. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted to find a place of peace.” That had been why he’d imagined the Aisl and why he had returned to the Elder Trees. “Like I said, it was a dream.”

“I think,” Della began, “that you had something much greater than any dream. I believe that your mind Traveled.”

“How can a mind simply travel?” Jessa asked.

“Rsiran Travels. He calls it Sliding, but the ancient clans called it Traveling. A talent.”

“So you have said,” Rsiran said.

“But I have never spoken to you about the stories of those who most fully manifested their talents. They were said to Travel, but their bodies would never leave. Such a talent… I would not believe it had you not described what happened. And had I not been here to know that your mind had departed.”

“Wait. You actually believe that he Slid only his
mind
?” Jessa asked.

“Based on what he described, that is exactly what I mean.”

“But it wasn’t anything like Sliding,” he said. “For this, I only imagined the forest, and the crystals.”

“And then you were there?” Della asked.

Rsiran nodded.

“I think you Traveled much like the most powerful of the ancient clans once were able to Travel. It would explain why you are so fatigued.”

“I thought that was your Healing,” he said.

“Rsiran, I have done little to Heal you. When you returned—when your
mind
returned—your body did not require much Healing.”

He glanced over at Jessa, and she watched Della with an incredulous expression.

“Tell me what you remember of what you experienced,” Della said. “All of it.”

Rsiran closed his eyes and tried to envision what he’d seen. “It was mostly about light,” he started. “When you were…” He paused, searching for the right word. “Trying to Heal my back, trying to remove the spikes, there was so much pain.” Rsiran didn’t think that he could forget that pain. Even now, he ached with the memory of it. “I wanted to escape. I
needed
to escape, if only because everything hurt so much.”

“How did you Travel to the forest?” Della prompted.

“I didn’t know that I did. I had an image of the forest, of something soothing, and then I disappeared. There was nothing but darkness.”

“You said there was light,” Della said.

“There was light. But I didn’t know it at first. There were three bright lights, and I could feel a sense of… power… from them. It was like nothing that I’ve ever experienced.”

“You told me there were five Elder Trees,” Jessa said.

“There are,” Rsiran answered.

“But what about your three lights?”

“I saw the three, and then looked for the others. One was dim, as if the power had faded or maybe I wasn’t attuned to it the right way,” he said. “It was there, but not as bright as the others.”

“And the fifth?” Della asked.

“That one I could not see. It was dark. I wouldn’t even have known it was there except for the fact that I suspected I was near the Elder Trees.”

“So some part of you knew that you had Traveled,” Della asked.

“I… I don’t know what I thought. It all seemed like a dream. I was there with no pain at first, and then began to feel some before it faded.”

“The fifth tree,” Della asked, “what do you remember of it?”

Rsiran sighed. “I remember that it had the same sense of power as the others, but it was dark to me.” He finally opened his eyes and met Della’s. “I don’t think I was meant to reach that one.”

Her brow wrinkled and she turned away for a moment. She mixed something, and he smelled the scent of the mint tea, but with a more bitter edge to it, as if she added something else to it. When she turned back to him, she handed the mug to him.

Rsiran took it and inhaled. The aroma helped clear his head, and the memory of what he’d seen, and what he’d experienced, came flooding back to him.

“What happened then? You mentioned the crystals. Were you able to see them again?”

He nodded. “I think,” he started, trying to remember what it had been like when he’d been in the crystal room, “that I held one again. Much like the first time, one of the crystals flickered. I had no hands, but I sort of…” He struggled again for words. Jessa squeezed his hand to reassure him. “I merged with the light coming from it.”

“You
merged
?” Jessa asked.

He nodded. “That’s the only way I can describe it. There was the pulsing blue light, and I tried reaching for it, and then… then I was with it, and floating again.”

“You should not have been able to hold one of the crystals again,” Della said. “Of those who’ve held one, none has ever held it again.”

“I’m not sure I actually held it.”

She nodded. “The point is the same. What you describe is unusual.”

Rsiran smiled as he took a deep breath. “I think all of what happened to me is unusual, don’t you think?”

Della motioned to the mug, and he took a sip. Warmth flooded through him as he drank, and rather than feeling relaxed, he instead felt invigorated.

“What is this?” he asked.

“A different mixture,” she answered. “For this, I think you will need your strength.”

“For what?”

“For taking us to the forest.”