The Sharpest Edge (16 page)

“Dammit, Sean. I know the danger!” She tried to shove him away. “I’m trying to keep from totally freaking out about it. I’ve been scared for a year and a half and I either find a way to deal with that fact or go crazy with fear and terror. I’m trying to cope, so back off.”

He stared at her, then dropped his hands. “I’m sorry.”

She sighed. “No, I’m sorry, too.”

They stood in silence for a while. Then Kim said, “I’m worried about my dad. What if someone decides to finish him off?” She got cold suddenly and wished she had clothes on.

He studied her. “I have an officer on his room. He’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“You sound like you really care about him.” He smiled then, a half smile. “Did you mean what you said today in the hospital room?”

“Mean what?”

“When you said you loved him?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.” She didn’t have the energy for this discussion right now.

But Sean caught her arm as she tried to slide by. “I’ve been thinking about that letter from your mom.”

She stopped. “And?”

“And I can see why you left.”

Kim turned back, searching his face. “Truly?”

He nodded. “If your mom had been that determined to save me, I would have believed her, too.”

“Oh.” Suddenly, her shoulders felt so light, so incredibly weightless. “So you…forgive me?”

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Thanks.” She blinked. Her chest felt tight, her throat achy. To hear that he finally forgave her… She wanted to hug him. Hug herself. Dance. “I’m so glad.” Could her voice sound any more fervent? She doubted it. He had to realize how much his forgiveness meant to her.

He was watching her intently. “And I think if we’d gotten married, it wouldn’t have worked.”

She nodded. “I agree. I mean, I think we both needed to get away. Figure out life away from parents.”

He touched her face. “It’s just you and me today.”

“No, it’s not…”

He set his finger on her lips. “I want to kiss you right now and it’s not because of your dad or because I’ve kissed you a thousand times before. It’s because you’re an amazing woman who nearly died to save her sister, who loves her dad despite some very good reasons she has not to. A woman who is willing to admit she might be wrong about Helen, even as she gets up every day ready to fight off a man who wants her dead.” He kissed her forehead. “You are nothing like the girl I almost married, and yet I want you in a way I’ve never wanted you before. Ever.”

Oh, wow. Package that and sell it and he’d make millions. “How is a girl supposed to resist that?”

“I don’t want a girl. I want a woman, and the only woman I want is you.”

As he bent down to kiss her, she recalled that all she was wearing was a towel.

Wasn’t that convenient?

Kim let her arms slide around Sean’s neck, let her body sink against his, and let his kiss melt her.

This man wanted her, and she needed him. More than anything. His lips tasted so good, minty and warm, his body firm and cut under her fingers. He wasn’t a boy. He wasn’t a kid. He wasn’t innocent. He wasn’t bumbling.

He was heat and passion and talent, and he was all she wanted. It wasn’t sex, though. It was about his soul and everything that came with it. She needed all of him, and she needed him now.

His lips still caressing hers, he swept her up in his arms, opened the door and carried her to the bed. She was definitely digging the big brawny he-man thing. “When you were eighteen, you would have dropped me.”

He set her on the bed. “I’m totally offended. Just because I was skinny didn’t mean I wasn’t strong.” He propped himself on his hands and gave her a long kiss. “The difference is that when you were eighteen, you wouldn’t have let me carry you.”

Was that right? Even though she was so much stronger and independent now, had she also become softer in some ways? “I was just looking out for your health. Didn’t want you to get hurt.” She tugged at his holster and he quickly stripped it off.

Along with his shirt, his shoes and his socks.

“Let me.” She wanted this to last. Wanted to enjoy every moment with this man she loved. She’d loved him ten years ago and she still loved him. The love was different, and now it was so much better. Now her love was rough and tainted and imperfect, which is what made it so powerful and strong and intense. Which is what made her so sure she was right.

She undid the top button of his jeans, kissing a line down his collarbone, over his chest and down his taut stomach. Then she unzipped his fly and he sucked in his breath. She held up her hands. “They’re shaking.”

He kissed the tip of each finger, then pressed his lips to her palm. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

He trailed his lips over her wrist, along her forearm, up her biceps and across her collarbone and neck, then caught her lips in his. By the time he got there, she was nearly desperate for his touch. For his everything. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, closer, as close as she could, kissing him as if she’d never be able to kiss him again.

And maybe she wouldn’t. Who knew what would happen tomorrow? Or when this nightmare was over and she went back to L.A.?

Then she felt his hand on her knee and she tensed. “Maybe we should turn out the lights.”

“Nope.” He pulled back, then kissed her kneecap, his hands pressed against the sides of her thigh. “I want to see you.”

She tried to tug the towel over her scarred thigh. “Cut it out, Sean. I don’t want you to see it.”

“Too bad.” He caught her wrists easily in one hand, then pushed the towel aside, exposing her mangled thigh.

Too late.

She groaned and flopped back on the bed, covering her face with her arms. “Not like it was ten years ago, huh?” It was all she could do to keep her voice from breaking. Why had he insisted on light? She could sense that he was staring at her leg, absorbing its grotesque twists, wondering how to get out of having to make love to her now that he could see what she’d become.

He didn’t answer and she tried to shield herself from caring.

Except she did care. She cared so much.

She felt his hand slide along her leg toward the scar and she tensed, waiting for rejection.

Then he laid his hand over her thigh, over the scar. Touching it. And he didn’t pull away.

She moved her arms and looked at him. He was watching her face, and as soon as she looked at him, he smiled. “You’re so much sexier than you were ten years ago.”

“Shut up.” But she couldn’t stop the feeling of warmth from spreading over her.

“Fine.” He bent down then and kissed the scar. She could just barely feel it, but watching him was all the sensation she needed.

“You don’t care?”

He rolled his eyes and held up his arm to expose the scar on his triceps. “Does this make you not want me?”

“No.” She giggled. “I think it’s hot.”

“Or this?” He pointed to the scar on his chest.

“Totally sexy.” And it was. He was all man, and she loved him and every scar on his body.

“Then why would it be any different for me?” He slid his hand along her thigh as he pulled himself level with her face. “You’re brave and strong and bear that scar as proof that you’re a woman who will defend those she loves until the day she dies. I find that scar so erotic I can barely stand it.” He kissed her hard and deep until she believed him.

He saw the scar as sexy, and he meant it.

If she’d had any doubts before, they were gone now. She loved him, thoroughly and completely, and there was no going back. She gripped his shoulders and held on as he stripped away her towel and shed the rest of his clothes.

Nothing between them but skin. He was gorgeous and perfect and she felt as if her heart was going to explode. Never had it been this way between them. Not with all this emotion and intensity and power singeing the air between them.

“I feel like we’ve never done this before.” She traced her fingers over his chest. With its muscles and contours and the scar on the right side, it was a chest she didn’t recognize. A man she’d just met. And that was how it should be. This was about now. The present. Today.

“I know.” He kissed her, but this time his kiss was so gentle, almost reverent. “It’s better than before, huh?”

She giggled as his hands slid up her thighs, drifting to the inside and sending tremors down her legs. “I don’t know. I need more information to decide.”

He grinned. “My pleasure.”

By the time he finished providing sufficient data, it wasn’t only her hands that were shaking. It was her entire body. She cupped his face with her hands as he moved over her, sliding his knee between her legs. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Sean Templeton.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t want you to love me like you did when we were eighteen. It’s not about the past anymore.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I…” How was she supposed to say it? She wasn’t even sure. “It’s different now.”

He kissed her deeply as he moved his body, slipping inside her. “It’s different for me, too.”

“Better?” He felt so good. Right. As if she’d been waiting a lifetime for this moment.

“No comparison.”

No comparison.
She dug her fingers into his shoulders and pulled him deeper, her body electric with energy and need.
I love you, Sean.
The words didn’t make it to her lips, but they coursed through her body.

He shuddered against her and they clung to each other as the waves rocked their bodies.

Whatever was between them, she never wanted to lose it again.

K
IM AWOKE TO
the sensation of warmth and utter contentment. Sean was draped over her, nibbling at her ear and whispering her name. She smiled and felt herself relax. He hadn’t withdrawn and put up walls after last night. He was still there beside her, fully embracing the change in their relationship.

They might have made love ten years ago, but this felt like the first time, as though they’d crossed a line they’d never ventured past before. And it felt right. So unassailably perfect.

She rolled over and faced him, then blinked with surprise. “You’re dressed.” As in blue jeans, shoes and a T-shirt. His hair was barely damp, so he’d been out of the shower for a while.

“Some of us have to keep working.” He kissed her again, his fingers twisting in her hair. “I called the guys in L.A. and convinced them to send us the list of people who visited Jimmy in prison and the info they have on John Ramsey. Dead guys chained to moorings tend to get people’s attention. They promised that I’d have a fax or an e-mail by two o’clock today.”

So much for whispering sweet nothings or declaring his undying love.

He kissed her again. “It’s almost eight-thirty. We have to leave in a little bit to go over to Will’s house. If you want breakfast or a shower, you’ll have to hustle.”

She struggled to a sitting position. “That’s it? It’s all business this morning?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“After last night, you can’t just pretend nothing has changed and wake me up by talking about Jimmy.” So much for her perception that he’d been kissing her because he was ready to be all snuggly and devoted.

He got a wary look on his face. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed and pushed her snarled hair out of her face. “I just thought
something.
” If he couldn’t figure out that he loved her, she certainly wasn’t going to spell it out for him.

“Well, I don’t know, either. Last night was great, but—”

She pulled the blankets around her, suddenly very aware that she was still completely naked and he was fully dressed. “But what?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I thought you forgave me for leaving.”

“I do. I did.”

“Then what?”

“You’re leaving again.”

She stared at him.

“Aren’t you?” He peered more closely at her.

“I guess. Yes. I have a career.” But somehow, it didn’t seem all that important right now. All that mattered was Sean. If he said he loved her, if he asked her to stay…this time the answer might be different than it had been ten years ago.

He nodded. “I’m not moving to Los Angeles. For the first time in years, I feel like I’ve come home. With your dad and his family, I belong again. I have a job that’s pretty decent.” He shrugged. “I’m tired of being alone.”

“So once again, you choose my dad over me.” She felt like screaming. Why couldn’t he want her more than her family?
He didn’t even ask if she wanted to stay. Just assumed she wouldn’t and had already made his choice. Her dad wins again.

“It’s not that—”

“Then what is it?”

He sighed. “There will always be a place for me in this town. I want that in my life.”

“And you think you don’t have a place with me?”

He cocked his head. “Let’s be realistic. You have your high-society life in Los Angeles. I’m a small-town cop. What am I going to do out there? I’m not interested in putting on tuxes and going to meet some movie star at a party. It’s not my style. I want to stay here, run the camp someday. It’s where I belong.”

So that was it then. “What if I stayed here?” Not that she was considering it anymore, but she needed to know.

He lifted an eyebrow. “Are you thinking about it?”

“It’s a hypothetical question. If I was willing to stay here and run the camp with you, would there be a future for us?”

His face softened and he touched her cheek. “I’d be interested in trying again, yeah.”

She pulled back. It wasn’t enough, and she shouldn’t have asked. As if she needed to torture herself that way. “So that’s the way it is, then. You want me as long as I bring along my family and the camp. If the only way you can have me is to go to L.A. and give up my family, you won’t do it.” She lifted her chin and willed her voice to be steady. “You don’t want me for me. Same as before.” She wanted to march into the bathroom and close the door in his face, but she was naked. Stalking nude didn’t seem to have quite the same dignity, and since he was still lying on top of the covers, it was parade in the buff or stay put.

He frowned. “I’m not interested in getting hurt again.”

“No, you’re not interested in taking a risk. You refuse to love me for me.” She tried to shove him off the bed so she
could get the covers, but it was like ramming an elephant on steroids. “Well, forget it, Sean. I didn’t love you back then, not really and truly. How could I? I was eighteen. But now, I think I could. But only if you loved me for me. And since you don’t, there’s no point in having this discussion.” Oh, forget it. A door slam was definitely needed right now.

She kicked off the covers, swung her feet to the floor and stood up. Naked or not, she was making a statement. “You may be an ex-war hero and good with a gun, Sean Templeton, but you are nothing more than a total wuss who’s too wimpy to take a chance on love.” She flung her hair over her shoulder with a very admirable head flip, marched across the room and slammed the bathroom door shut behind her.

And then she turned on the shower to hide the sound of her crying.

B
Y THE TIME
they pulled up to Will Ambrose’s house, Sean was in a foul mood. Kim had shrugged off every attempt he’d made at physical contact and had erected a cold barrier between them.

Just because he didn’t want to move to California? Why was he to blame, when she was just as unwilling to move here? Last night was great and it had reawakened hope in him, hope he hadn’t felt in years. Hope that he could have it all. Kim, her father, the camp, a home that was truly a home.

But no. She wanted him to give it all up to follow her to California and live some glam life that wasn’t his style. Or, at the very least, she wanted him to reject her dad and the camp. Because he wouldn’t, he was the bad guy?

And she wouldn’t even talk about it. Every time he tried to bring it up, she changed the subject to Will or Helen or the message of death on the wall of her house.

Argh! Women!

“You think he’s here?” Kim peered through the window
at Will’s house. “What do you think he’s going to tell us? You think he’s going to admit that he’s John Ramsey?”

“What if I told you I loved you? What then?” Not that he was sure he did, but he was pretty confident that, with time to rebuild their relationship, he could love her, really love her. How could he not? She was strong, intelligent and courageous. What man wouldn’t love her?

“Did you bring your gun? Because Pete Gibbs was killed with a gun.” She pursed her lips and stared at the house. “Do you see anyone in the windows? What if he’s planning to shoot me without even showing his face?”

“Fine. Be like that.” He threw the gearshift into Park, grabbed his gun and kicked open his car door. “Stay in the car.”

“So he can sneak out the back door and get me while you walk in the front door? Sorry, not gonna happen.” She climbed out of the car and stood on the sidewalk.