The Sharpest Edge (6 page)

The words were unassailable. There was no room for Sean’s interpretation. Her dad was no saint. But she still felt horrible about the expression on Sean’s face when she told him why she’d left him. She hadn’t meant it the way it sounded, but wasn’t that exactly why she had left? On the other hand, it didn’t make any sense anymore, thinking that Sean would destroy her.

“What are you doing here?”

She winced at Sean’s hostile voice, but she didn’t look up. “Waiting for the doctors.”

“You been in to see him?”

“No.” She stared at the floor and watched his feet come into view. Faded black boots and blue jeans. Apparently, he was off duty. Did the man ever sleep?

Oh, great. So now she was worrying that he wasn’t taking care of himself? Her mom had been right. You stay around a man like Sean and you’ll never be able to resist him, even if he won’t make you happy. The only chance to find herself had been to leave.

She’d found herself. So why did he still have this effect on her?

His feet moved out of her sight and she had to bite her
lower lip to keep from asking him to stay. She did
not
need him. And even if she did, what right did she have to ask? It wouldn’t be fair to reach out to him and then leave again.

She couldn’t change the past, but she could stop herself from repeating it.

Then the bench sagged and she glanced up to see Sean sitting beside her. He looked tired. More tired than she’d ever seen him. “You’re not sleeping.”

“Are you?”

She shook her head, wishing she knew what to say to bridge the chasm between them. Another apology would be so inadequate.

“Ms. Collins?”

She stood, and Sean rose next to her as a doctor approached. He had gray hair, glasses and a kind face. “I’m Dr. Weiss.” He nodded at Sean. “Will you excuse us?”

Sean’s face tightened and he stepped away. He wasn’t family and had no right to hear. For all she knew, he hadn’t even been able to talk to the doctors about the man he considered his own father. Kim touched his arm and he stopped. “He can stay.”

Dr. Weiss nodded and Sean returned to her side, his shoulder brushing against hers in a silent thanks. “Your father had a serious head injury. He was unconscious underwater for almost too long. He hasn’t woken up yet, and we have no way of knowing if he ever will. If he does, we can’t predict the amount of brain damage he has sustained. He may wake up and be fine, or he may never be the person he was before the accident.”

To her horror, tears welled up before she even knew they were coming. What was up with that?

Sean’s arm slipped over her shoulders, his fingers twisting in her hair. “But he could wake up and be as good as new, right?” His voice was tight, clipped.

It felt so good to be held by him. She couldn’t keep
herself from leaning into him as she wiped her cheeks, even though she knew she had no right to do so.

The doctor nodded. “It’s possible he could be fine, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you.”

“You aren’t us,” Sean said quietly. “Is there anything else you can share?”

“No. I do recommend you spend time with him. Sometimes that can make a difference.” The doctor gave them a brief smile. “I have to run, but if you have any questions, have the nurses’ station page me.”

“Thank you,” Sean said.

Kim managed to mutter something appreciative and the doctor rushed off.

The second he left, she turned toward Sean at the same instant he lifted his other arm around her. She pressed herself against his chest and he buried his face in her hair. They said nothing, just clung to each other, holding on to the one thing they could touch.

It was Sean who spoke first, his voice muffled against her hair. “Will you come see him? Please?”

She released him and stepped back. “I can’t.”

“Dammit, Kim. Why not?”

“This is why.” She pulled her mom’s letter out of her pocket and handed it to him. “I received it three days after she died. Don’t read it now, and I want it back when you’re done with it.”

He started to unfold it and she grabbed it from his hand, folded it and shoved it into his front pocket. “Later, Sean.” She gave her head a little shake to clear it. “Any leads on my dad’s accident? Or on Jimmy?”

He drew his shoulders back in a visible effort to gather himself. “Helen let me check your dad’s personal files. For the past two months, he’s been withdrawing fairly large sums of money on a regular basis, but we couldn’t find any evidence of what he was spending it on.”

Kim frowned. “What does that show?”

“I don’t know.”

“If Helen was the one who tried to kill him, do you really think it’s smart to tell her you don’t think his crash was an accident?”

He lifted an eyebrow. “You don’t trust me to be circumspect?”

She had no energy for a fight. “I don’t know. I’m too tired to think. What can I help with?”

“Is there a place in the house that your dad used to hide stuff?”

She frowned. “He had a hidden safe in his office, but I don’t know if it’s still there.”

“Let’s go check.”

“Now?”

“Unless you have other plans? Maybe with that friend of yours? Alan, you said his name was?”

Was she imagining the annoyance in his voice? “Alan is in California. And no, I have no other plans.”

“Fine. I’ll follow you in my car.”

“Fine.” Just what she needed. More alone time with Sean.

“T
HE DOOR’S LOCKED
.” Kim sighed and leaned her head against her dad’s office door. “I forgot, he locks it now. I don’t have a key.”

She looked so exhausted that Sean started to raise his hand to touch her hair the way he used to, but he dropped his arm instead. Why did he still want to touch her? Hadn’t he seen all he needed to know that their past was over? Last night, she’d eviscerated him with her statement that she’d been afraid that she’d end up killing herself if she married him. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to shove away the ache. Why couldn’t he hate her? That comment alone should have done it.

But he couldn’t hate her. He shoved his hands deep into
his pockets and his fingers hit the letter she’d put there. What was in that letter? Would it answer some of his questions? God, he wanted to read it. It couldn’t have been as bad as she said.

Kim pushed herself off the door. “Someone should be around here somewhere. They never leave the reception desk unattended at this hour.”

Right. Focus, Sean.
“How about the mailroom? Maybe someone’s in there sorting.” He turned away and walked to the other side of the reception desk, shoving open the door to discover Didi, the flirty receptionist, going at it with Will, the guy who had been working the desk when Sean had stopped by the other day. He stifled a grin and flicked the light switch. “Good evening.”

Kim walked in just as Didi shrieked and flung Will off her. They hadn’t quite managed to fully compromise themselves, but Sean had no doubt that he and Kim would have gotten an eyeful if they’d arrived five minutes later.

Didi grabbed her shirt from the floor and darted out of the room, stammering an embarrassed apology. Will’s face was bright red and he was fastening his pants as fast as possible. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Collins. I really am. We didn’t mean for this to happen and I know we shouldn’t have done it here…” He stuttered when he zipped some skin and abandoned his nervous stammering to focus on the apparently complicated task of getting dressed. He hustled out of the room, tucking in his shirt.

Sean grinned and leaned against the doorjamb, recalling the days he’d done that speed-dressing thing when Kim’s parents had returned home unexpectedly. Kim caught his expression and looked surprised. Then her cheeks flushed and she started to laugh.

“Been there, done that, huh?”

She nodded, her eyes dancing. “You remember that time you fell on the glass of iced tea that was on the floor by the bed?”

He grinned. “I was bleeding all over the place and trying to get dressed before your dad made it to the top of the stairs.” It felt good to laugh with her. Maybe this was what they both needed, a break from worrying about her dad, their past and everything else. Sometimes you just had to let it go.

“And then when you stood up, there was blood seeping through your jeans and my dad totally busted us.” She was laughing now and it made him realize that he hadn’t seen her smile since she’d been back.

“You’re beautiful when you smile.”

Her smile broadened. “Thanks. You don’t look half-bad, either.”

“Not half-bad?” He grinned at that. “In the old days, you used to swoon over me.”

She lifted her eyebrows. “In the old days, you couldn’t keep your hands off me. You made me believe I was the sexiest girl on the planet.”

“You were. Still are.”

“Then how come you aren’t trying to bed me constantly?” She put her hands on her hips and tried to look offended.

He levered himself away from the door frame and sauntered toward her, giving her his most devilish look. “Is that an invitation? Because you know I’d never turn down a chance to spend the night in your bed.”

She gave him her best come-hither look, spoiled by her laughter, as it always was. She’d never been any good at playing the serious seductress. Not that it mattered. Laughter had always been their aphrodisiac. From the way he noticed the curve of her body under her T-shirt, it still was. “Since when do you wait for an invitation?” she asked.

“Didn’t realize the invite was still open.” He hooked his index fingers in the belt loops on either side of her hips and tugged, the way he’d done so many times before. The action came so naturally to him, he didn’t even have to think about it.

And, as she’d done on countless occasions, Kim let him pull her toward him, her hips swaying in rhythm with each movement of his hands, her fingers resting on his forearms. At the last second, the laughter faded from her eyes and she looked uncertain. “You really want to kiss me?”

“Hell, yes.” He didn’t give himself permission to think about it. He simply did what he wanted to do.

Kim tasted the same way Sean had remembered in his dreams. Vanilla and toothpaste, and something else he’d never quite been able to place. Her lips were soft under his, a perfect match for him.

He could kiss her forever. Stand in that mailroom and kiss her until the world was gone.

Then she made a small sound in the back of her throat that he recognized and she slid her hands up his arms, linking her fingers behind his neck.

Okay, forget kissing. It would never be enough. He needed more. He needed all of her, every bit as badly as he’d needed her a decade ago. He let go of her belt loops and flattened his hands on her back, crushing her against him while he dove into her mouth. He couldn’t get enough. She was everything to him, and she’d never left his soul. He’d been a fool to think he was over her, to think he didn’t care.

He dropped his hands and cupped her buttocks, pressing her hips against his front. Closer. He needed her closer. He needed to touch her, taste her, inhale her. Every inch of her. The mole on her left little toe, the scar on her right hip from the fishing-hook mishap when they were in tenth grade, all of her. She was his, and she’d never stopped being his.

Her fingers in his hair, her breath hot in his mouth, her
body lashed against his as if she was afraid someone would try to tear them apart. He knew the feeling. Desperation rushed over him as he slipped his hands under her shirt. The feel of her bare skin against his hands rocked his knees and he had to take a step to keep their balance. Had it been this way when they were teenagers? The power was so intense, familiar yet shockingly unexpected. Imbued with an intensity he didn’t recognize.

Someone cleared her throat and tapped lightly on the door.

Kim and Sean released each other at the same time and stepped apart. Kim’s cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright, her lips red from the effects of their kiss. Out of habit, he rubbed his jaw to check whisker length. “I guess I should have shaved.”

She lifted one shoulder. “It’s okay.” Her gaze slid away from him to the door, where Didi was standing, now fully clothed.

Okay? It was a hell of a lot more than okay, but what was he supposed to say? They had an audience, and before the kiss, he’d still been trying to convince himself he’d be better off hating her. He had no idea what he was thinking. Or what she was thinking, for that matter. She looked somewhat overwhelmed, though. He knew the feeling.

“So, um, I wanted to apologize,” Didi said. “It won’t happen again.” She began to turn away. “We’ll just get back to work.”

Kim held up her hand. “Hang on.”

He grinned. His sweet Kim would never stay confused for long.

“No sex in the office,” Kim said.

Didi’s eyes flashed, but she nodded. “No problem.”

“Good.” Kim took a deep breath. “I’ll consider it over, then.”

She caught Sean’s eye and he wondered how far he and
Kim would have gone if Didi hadn’t interrupted. He swallowed hard at the thought.

What was he doing? He couldn’t afford to fall for her again. For God’s sake, she thought marriage to him would make her suicidal. And she was leaving town. Did he need any more signs than that? No. So why couldn’t he stop thinking about how she’d felt in his arms? He was a fool. A damned fool.

“I need a set of keys to this place,” she said to Didi, “including my dad’s office.”

Didi frowned. “Sure. I’ll get a set made up for you tomorrow.”

“Can I get my dad’s office key now? I need to get in there.” Kim held out her hand.

Didi whipped out her key ring and pulled a key off it. “Here. Leave it in the register when you leave and I’ll get a duplicate made tomorrow so I still have my set.”

“Thanks.” Kim walked out of the mailroom, looking back over her shoulder. “You have your shirt on backward, Didi. You might want to fix that before you come out.”

K
IM REMOVED THE
books from the second shelf of the bookcase, pulled out the shelf backing and sat back on her heels. “It’s still there.”

Sean squatted beside her. “Do you know the combination?”

“It used to be my birthday, my mom’s birthday and then Cheryl’s birthday.” She was so aware of his shoulder brushing up against hers, yet neither of them had mentioned the kiss in the mailroom.

How could she bring it up? She had no idea what to say. Yes, a part of her was thrilled that Sean had responded with such intensity, but she was equally terrified that she’d responded in kind. After ten years, she still had no immunity to him, exactly as her mother had warned. What Kim didn’t
understand was why being with him felt right. And that made her feel as scared and unsure as she had felt ten years ago, only this time she had a decade of guilt and over-analysis to add to the equation.

Sean reached for the combination and began spinning it.

“You still remember all our birthdays?” she asked.

The safe popped open, answering her question. Of course he remembered. She’d thought about him every year on his birthday. Wondered where he was. If he was okay. If he was thinking about her.

He looked frustrated. “I guess I wasn’t as close to your family as I thought if I didn’t know this safe existed.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, so she settled for resting her hand on his shoulder as they leaned forward to inspect the contents. There was a spiral notebook and some envelopes that looked as though they might have cash in them.

And a gun.

Kim stared at the black metal. “Did you know he had a gun?”

“No.” Sean frowned as he pulled the notebook out. “He never mentioned it to me.”

“Me, either. He doesn’t seem like the gun type.”

“I agree. He’d be more likely to shoot himself in the foot than nail a bad guy.”

She smiled and Sean gave her a small grin as he flipped open the notebook. “You remember when I told him I wanted to be a cop and he told me that good boys don’t play with guns?”

“You were eight at the time and he’d just caught you trying to shoot acorns with a squirt gun.” She eyed him. “And when he startled you, you nailed me instead of the acorn.”

Sean grinned. “Just gave your dad more fuel for his claim that guns were dangerous.”

Her smile faded. “So why would he have one?”

“The better question is, why is he paying money to a private investigator?” He pointed to some writing. “I recognize that name. He’s one of the more reputable P.I.s in Portland.”

“A P.I.?” Tension slipped around her heart and squeezed gently. “And a gun?” She looked at Sean. “Jimmy?”

Sean eyed her. “He really scares you, doesn’t he?”

She met his gaze. “I won’t let him.”

“Maybe you should.”

“No.” She stood up and walked across the room. “You don’t understand. He likes to play psychological games with me. Get in my head so I freak even when he’s not around. The way to beat him is to stay rational.” She gestured at the notebook. “Not by imagining my dad’s problems were caused by Jimmy when he was in prison at the time.”

“People in prison know people on the outside.”

She clenched her fists at the articulation of the thought she’d refused to acknowledge until now. “Like I need to hear that.”

“I think you do. You’re so focused on being tough that you’re going to get yourself killed.” He stood up and his face was tight. “Is that what you want? To end up like your mom?”

“No! That’s my point! She lost it mentally and look what happened. I refuse to go down that path.”

He stopped in front of her, the notebook clutched in his hand. “You aren’t your mother, and you don’t have her life. Don’t get yourself killed because you’re trying so hard to prove it.”

She stared at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Never mind.” He sat at her dad’s desk and picked up the phone. “Templeton here. Can you look up a name for me? Pete Gibbs. He’s a P.I. in Portland. I think I ran across his name recently and I don’t remember why.”

Kim sat down and slipped her hands under her thighs. “Who are you calling?”

“The station.” He held up his hand to indicate that someone had come back on the line. “You’re sure? When?” He tightened his mouth as he listened. “Has it been investigated?” He glanced at Kim. “Yeah, leave the report on my desk. I’ll get it when I come in.” He hung up.

“Well?”

He met her gaze. “Pete Gibbs has been missing for three weeks. His wife filed a missing persons report and the Portland cops have been on it, but they can’t find any trace of him.”

Kim swallowed hard. “I take it he doesn’t usually go missing?”

“He’s a family man. Checks in with his wife hourly.” Sean met her gaze. “His admin inspected his files and reported only one file missing.”

“My dad’s?”

“A file titled Loony Bin. Pete didn’t believe in keeping records that could identify his clients.”

She slumped in her seat. “The Loon’s Nest. The camp.”

“Not a very good disguise if you knew what you were looking for. If you didn’t, it wouldn’t mean anything. There are loons and lunatics all over the state.”

She sighed. “You know, I really don’t have room in my life for
two
lunatics stalking members of my family.”

He didn’t respond to her attempt to lighten the tension. “If the attack on your dad had anything to do with the Loon’s Nest, you’re running the place now, so both trails lead back to you.”

“Well, gee, thanks for that.”

“You need to know the dangers.”

“I have an alarm.” She nodded at the notebook. “Are there any notes from my dad that tell what the meetings were about?”

“Nope. They only list the payments.” Sean was drumming his fingers on the desk. “I need to get to the station and read the report on Gibbs.”

She took a deep breath. “I’ll be fine by myself.”

“I’d feel better if you stayed at my place. I moved in only a couple days ago and it’s unlisted, so no one would find you there. I have an alarm and everything.” He held up his hand when she started to protest. “This isn’t personal. It’s business, and it’s my job to keep you safe.”

“No.”

“Dammit, Kim, don’t let our past put you in danger. Get over it and come to my house.”

“Get over it? You just about knocked me out with that kiss in the mailroom twenty minutes ago. How am I supposed to forget that? Or was it nothing to you? Because it sure felt like something to me.” She gulped when she finished, realizing she didn’t want to know if it was nothing to him. She was so confused. In one minute, she wanted their relationship to mean nothing, and in the same breath, she wanted desperately to know that their connection hadn’t been severed.

Sean took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe living at my place isn’t the best idea.” He stood up. “Come on. I’ll follow you home and check everything out. You lock the doors, put the alarm on and answer the phone whenever I call you to check in. Got it?”

“Got it.” So it
had
meant something to him.

K
IM STOOD IN HER
living room and stared out at the dark water of the lake. It was almost one in the morning and she still hadn’t gone to bed. She was agitated and felt as though she wasn’t alone. Was it her nerves or was she actually sensing someone?

Maybe she should have gone to Sean’s place. It wasn’t as if he’d be there anyway.

Her cell phone buzzed and she flipped it open without looking at it. “Hi, Sean.”

“Who’s Sean?”

She smiled. “Hi, Alan. What’s up?”

“Who’s Sean?”

“A cop. You’d like him. He calls me every forty-five minutes to make sure I’m still alive.”

“You sure you can trust him?”

“Of course I’m sure. He’s a cop.”

“So is Jimmy. You think he wouldn’t be able to concoct a story that would get a Maine cop to help him out?”

She was suddenly very glad it was Sean who was on her case and not some policeman she didn’t know. “I know I can trust Sean.”

“I told you not to trust anyone and you’re doing it already? He’s a cop!”

“If you must know, I was once engaged to him. I know him.”

“You dump him or did he dump you?”

That was far too crass and simplistic to describe what had happened. “I ended it.”

“So he could be pissed and looking for a chance to get back at you.” Alan cursed. “I don’t like it. I’m coming out there.”

“What about our plan to catch Jimmy?”

“He’s not showing up around here, Kim! Don’t you get it? He’s planning something and you’re out there in the woods trusting some guy who has a grudge against you.”

She scowled. “Why are you getting so upset? You’re the one who’s always been the one with a plan. Mr. Calm and Organized.”

Alan’s deep breath was audible over the phone. “I know Jimmy. He’s going to do something, and soon. I want to be with you when it happens.”

“What do you mean, you
know
him?”

“What kind of question is that? I’ve been by your side for the past year and a half, listening to the messages he leaves
on your answering machine and watching him lurking outside your apartment building when I drop you off at night. Hell, I was the one who picked you up from the hospital. How can you ask me that?”

“Then stop freaking out on me because you’re scaring me.”

“Good! Either get on a plane and get home, or I’m coming out there. Call me in the morning and let me know.” He hung up before she could respond.

What was up with him? He was acting as if he was her husband or something…. Was he jealous of Sean? Or was the waiting chipping away at his self-control?

Jimmy was working his sinister magic without doing a thing. Tearing away at the careful trap they’d woven for him, letting them disintegrate on their own until they were too fragmented to protect themselves against him. He hadn’t touched her since the attack a year and a half ago, yet he’d been haunting her with her anticipation of what he was going to do next.

He’d been messing with her mind, and now he was getting to Alan. One by one, Jimmy was wearing them down until they’d be defenseless to his attack. He was already winning the mind games.

Screw him. She was going to bed, and when she woke up in the morning, she was going to be rested and focused on finding out what had happened to her dad. No way was she going to let Jimmy twist her mind.