The Sheikh’s Reluctant Bride (11 page)

“It was altered when you came to my bed. By mutual consent,” he added

“So what you’re saying is that I can’t go because I might be carrying a baby?” She turned away from him and started pacing. The sight of her bare back did little to restore rational thought. He had the absurd desire to pull her against him and kiss her until she could not think straight, either.

“A
royal
baby.”

She stopped in front of him and looked up, her eyes clouded. “I’m not pregnant.”

“You are certain of this?”

“Almost,” she said, her gaze sliding away.

“That is unacceptable.”

“Right back at you. It’s unacceptable to me to give a child to a man who’s incapable of loving it.”

“That is what you meant when you said that God would not be so cruel.”

“Exactly.” She blew out a long breath. “You told me that you will never care again. That’s not the ideal environment for a child. I should know. My mother loved me, but she loved the bottle more. If and when I have a child, I want it to have unconditional love from both parents and you aren’t capable of that. I understand. You went through an unimaginable loss and at first you get points for just breathing in and out when your life stopped. But time has passed and life never started again for you.”

Was she right? Was his heart poisoned against a child they might have made? He did not know what to think. He just knew he could not let her go. Not like this. Not yet.

“Jessica—”

“You can’t change my mind. There isn’t anything you can say—”

“The baby—if there is one—would be in the line of succession to the throne of Bha’Khar. There is a duty to train the child in the ways of royalty should the responsibility of leadership fall to him.”

She sighed. “Darn it. That’s a low blow.”

The miserable expression on her face again made him want to take her in his arms, yet he was the one who had put it there. “I cannot change the circumstances of my own birth and being a prince of the royal blood.”

“Yeah, I get that.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Okay. You win this round. I’ll stay in the country until we know whether or not I’m pregnant.”

That was good. The relief pouring through him elevated his mood instantly. “Excellent.”

“But I’m moving in with my grandparents. If the press gets wind of it, just tell them I’m taking some quiet time to get to know them. Or come up with a better story. The last thing I want is to cause you or your family trouble.”

That was not good. He much preferred that she reside in the palace, near him, but little clue why her close proximity made a difference. Surely it was all about rehabilitating his image, polishing the perceptions of the world in order to facilitate Bha’Khar’s acceptance into the ranks of a global economy. But if that were the case, his chest would not feel so tight.

He did not wish her to go. But if she was not pregnant, he did not know how to make her stay.

I
F
K
ARDAHL
had said he cared about her, she would have happily stayed in the palace while they waited to see if she were pregnant, Jessica thought. He didn’t even have to tell her he loved her, although she realized that’s what she wanted to hear.

She just didn’t get him. He’d told her she couldn’t go and his eyes blazed in a way that had made her heart pound with something pathetically close to hope and a healthy dose of desire. Then he used the excuse that she might be pregnant as his reason for the order. He made no fuss when she’d said she was going to stay with her grandparents, yet a few hours later, after successfully dodging the press, here he was escorting her there in the limo.

When the big car pulled smoothly into the drive way and stopped in front of the house, Kardahl looked at her, but his blank expression gave nothing away. “Have you discussed this with your grandparents? After all, they are responsible for our betrothal. Would they approve of you leaving your husband and taking shelter with them?”

“My grandfather is my protector. He said so. My grandmother—They said if I needed anything, I should ask.” She squeezed the hands clasped in her lap until her knuckles turned white. “And, yes, I called to make sure it was all right if I stayed here.”

Anger darkened his eyes to twin black coals. “So,” he said, “the fruit does not fall far from the tree.”

“What does that mean?”

“Perhaps you are like your mother after all. You are running away.”

Without responding, Jessica got out of the car, then climbed the front steps to knock on the door. That turned out not to be necessary as her grandmother opened it instantly, as if she’d been waiting. While the driver carried her luggage into the house, she glanced over her shoulder and saw Kardahl.

Her heart stuttered at the sight of his lean elegant body standing by the open car door. Remembering the exquisite feel of that naked body cradling her own, she shivered with yearning. She had never met anyone like him—kind, supportive, too handsome for his own good. As if all that wasn’t enough, he had a pretty decent sense of humor. Quite simply, he was the most wonderful man she’d ever met.

She had her reasons for voluntarily walking away and in no way could it be construed as running.

In a familiar gesture, he ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair and her heart caught again. How well she’d grown to know him. It surprised her just how much she’d come to rely on him. But a double tragedy had killed his will to reciprocate tender feelings and anything less than a committed relationship was intolerable to her. Now here she was walking into the arms of the family she’d finally found. She’d made the break from him because her heart was breaking. The man she loved could not love her back.

She waved to him, a small gesture and saw him respond before letting her grandmother lead her into the house.

“Now then,” the older woman said, “I have requested tea be served in the living room and we can talk.”

“Where is my grandfather?”

“He is giving his report on our trip to the Foreign Service minister and will not be home for some time. We will not be disturbed.”

Jessica sank into the soft sofa cushions. “Thank you for letting me come here.”

“Thank you for turning to us. It is what families are for. But I am curious about why you felt it necessary to leave the prince. Is there a problem?”

Only if she was pregnant. “Kardahl and I have some things to work out and I felt I could do that better if I had some distance.”

“I see.”

Was she running? Like her mother.

Jess folded her hands in her lap and crossed one thumb over the other. “Why did she run? My mother, I mean. Why didn’t she turn to you and my grandfather for help?”

“I do not know for sure.”

“You knew her. She was your jewel, your best and brightest. You must have an idea why she didn’t feel she could come to you when she found out she was in trouble.”

“Pride. Shame.” Her grandmother stared sadly out the French doors.

“According to the letter she left me, my father was a diplomatic attaché,” Jess confirmed.

The older woman nodded. “Maram met him right here in this house, at an embassy party that your grandfather and I hosted. He was married and far from home. She was young and quite lovely. They flirted and she began to make excuses to see him at the Foreign Ministry office. He made a pretext of coming here to see your grandfather. We knew what was happening and sternly warned her away from him. Esam and I argued with her many times, but our disapproval only seemed to make her want to be with him more.”

“So she refused to stop seeing him?”

Leena nodded. “We were beside ourselves with frustration and worry. She was stubborn and so very young.”

“And then she got pregnant.” Jessica watched the bewilderment turn to pain on her grandmother’s face.

“We did not know that at first. She simply disappeared. Then we began to hope it was a child making her too ashamed to come to us and nothing far more sinister.”

“Did you go to my father?”

“Of course.”

“Cad.”

“Yes. Although he had no knowledge of her whereabouts he confirmed that she had come to him and revealed her condition. He told us about his last conversation with Maram and that he’d made it clear he was an ambitious man. He would not leave his wife and risk a scandal.”

“Big cad.”

“Indeed.” Her grandmother’s eyes were hard.

Jess smiled at the hostility she exuded, a mother lioness protecting her brood. And Jess was part of the brood. How wonderful it felt to be part of something. She was beyond glad to have someone in her corner. “Did my father stay here in the diplomatic service?”

“He took our daughter from us, we took his profession from him. I’m not proud of it, but…” She shrugged.

“I see.” Jess met her gaze. “Considering that, I’m a little surprised you embraced me so warmly. I’m the child of the man who disgraced your daughter.”

“She was not without blame.” Her grandmother put a comforting hand over hers. “But we never stopped loving her. You are the child of our child and we love you.”

Behind the sofa, a low wall separated this room from the dining area and sitting on top were framed photographs. Jess reached over and picked up one of her mother as a young girl.

“Was my mother a hopeless romantic?”

Leena frowned as she thought about the question. “If you mean was she possessed of a soft and romantic heart, I believe the answer is yes. She cared with every part of herself—mind, soul, body. She loved well, but not wisely.”

“Do you think I’m like her?”

“I cannot say, as we are just getting to know each other. Clearly you are troubled about something.” She smiled, a small upturning of her mouth. “I would have to be very dimwitted not to know that whatever has made your eyes so sad has something to do with His Highness, the prince.”

“No wonder my mother couldn’t fool you,” Jess answered, trying to make light of it.

“I am old, not deaf, dumb and blind.”

“You’re not old.”

“And you are trying to flatter me. I like that in a granddaughter. And I believe it to be sincere, although it is rooted in the fact that you do not wish to discuss what is really bothering you and are attempting to distract me.” Her eyes brooked no evasion. “Tell me what is wrong.”

“Because I wouldn’t stay at the palace Kardahl said that I was running away—like my mother.”

“Running from what? Your mother left us because she was embarrassed and feared that she had disgraced her family.”

“It’s still sad.”

“Yes. Although, from the perspective of many years passed, in a way I find her flight oddly comforting. She knew we were hurt and she did not want to see the pain she had caused. What she failed to take into consideration is that hurt heals.”

Not in Kardahl’s case. He’d made it clear that he would never get over the love he’d lost and the child she’d carried. She put her hand over her abdomen and prayed that they hadn’t made a baby.

“You and Kardahl were betrothed and against the odds have found each other and from what I can see, there is a romantic spark.”

On her part, not so much his. “I think you’re seeing static electricity.”

“Joke if it makes you feel better, my dear. But simply because a child shares characteristics of the parent, they are not necessarily predestined to repeat the same mistakes.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. Your mother’s heart was stolen by a man who was not free. She fell hopelessly in love, but it was doomed from the start.”

And those words did not make Jessica feel better. Because of Kardahl’s past, her love for him had been doomed from the start—just like her mother’s. And she wondered which was worse—a series of men who used and abandoned you while you searched for love. Or never trying again because you’d found the one man who’d once loved so well the pain of his loss would keep him from giving his heart ever again.

Her grandmother frowned. “But when you speak of running, are you talking about going back to America?”

“I have a job there,” Jess admitted. “Working with children who need me.”

“I am certain they do. But consider this—would you be giving to others for all the right reasons?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Just this—I will not pry into your feelings for Prince Kardahl. And you will always have a home here with your grandfather and myself. We understand if you decide that your work is the right reason to go back to your home. But before you make that decision, remember what your mother did not—you can leave Bha’Khar, but you will take all your troubles with you.”

There was a reason they called it emotional baggage. Jess had come here with very little of it, but if she left now, ten trunks wouldn’t be enough to carry all her problems.

When she couldn’t hold back the tears a moment longer, her grandmother gathered her into her arms and held her tight. She’d come here looking for family and found it. She hadn’t been looking for love, but she’d found that, too.

At least she had someone to hold her while she cried. It was definitely the best and worst of times.

From the moment his secretary told him Jessica called to set up a meeting, Kardahl had been unable to concentrate. It would have been better if the young man had interrupted his conference call. Had he spoken with his wife, far more would have been accomplished this morning. Now he could not get her out of his mind. Truthfully that was not new. It was a condition he had become accustomed to ever since his first sight of her on the royal jet.

The condition had escalated to a state of acute distress in the past several weeks, after he had left Jessica with her grandmother. His suite seemed too big, too empty without her there. But how could that be? It was not as if her petite presence took up so very much space. He leaned back in his office chair and stared at a computer screen that no longer interested him. Nothing held his attention unless it included thoughts of his wife.

In truth, the size of her form, lovely and curvaceous though it might be, was not the issue. It was the size of her character, personality, heart and spirit that made him miss her with every part of his being.

So lost was he in his thoughts, the buzz of the intercom startled him. “Your Highness?”

He pushed the button to answer. “Yes?”

“Your wife has arrived.”

Kardahl’s heart lurched and a feeling of heightened anticipation surged through him. It took all of his considerable self-control to keep his voice level. “Send her in.”

It seemed a lifetime before the office door opened and she stood there. In evening gown or jeans, she had never looked more beautiful to him than she did now wearing a floral print skirt, cream-colored blouse and loosely crocheted sweater. Her sun-kissed brown hair was pulled into a casual knot at her nape with loose strands caressing her neck and cheeks. The blood pounded through his veins and roared in his ears as the need to take her in his arms became almost more than his considerable self-control could withstand.

He stood but did not come around to meet her. He kept his glass-topped desk between them. “Hello.”

“Hi. This is nice,” she said, looking around the spacious office with the thick Berber carpet and leather furniture. “I never saw where you work.”

One corner of his mouth lifted. “You did not believe I worked so it would have been an exercise in futility.”

“I was wrong.” She pointed a finger at him. “And that’s the last time I’m going to say it.”

“Very well.” He held out a hand, indicating the two chairs in front of his desk. “Please sit down.”

“Thank you.” Her tone was very formal now.

He preferred the seductive whisper in her voice when he had held her in his arms and made love to her. He favored the teasing tone just now when she had admitted her erroneous first impression of his character. He desired almost anything to the aloof and distancing manner she had assumed just a moment ago.

“I regret that my secretary did not put you through when you called earlier,” he said. “I was involved. Had I but known you were trying to reach me, I would have interrupted the proceedings. It was a budget conference—” He stopped. Since when did he babble about trivialities? “To what do I owe the pleasure of your first visit to my office?”

“This is something I thought I should tell you in person.”

The look on her face was difficult to read and he wondered when she had learned to mask her emotions so well. She had agreed to stay in Bha’Khar until she learned whether or not she carried his child. Since he had not seen or spoken to her in several weeks, it was an educated guess that her visit to the lion’s den was in regard to her physical condition.

“Are you pregnant?” he asked bluntly.

She sighed. “No.”

“No?”

She shook her head and he read the truth in her eyes. His spirits plummeted and until that moment he had not realized he had carried inside him a high level of anticipation that her answer would be different.

“I see,” was all he said.

She looked surprised. “I thought you’d be more relieved.”