The Sheikh’s Reluctant Bride (10 page)

Unfortunately consummating their marriage would make the process of ending it more difficult. He did not wish to think about the personal cost and the longer he knew her, the more certain he was that there
would
be a personal cost.

“There is a concern, but it is not so much about me. It is about us. And what we are going to do now. We have consummated our marriage.”

“I noticed.” Her cheeks flushed pink.

“Then you realize that there is now a problem with the annulment.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh. I forgot all about that.”

Until this moment, he had as well but could not help being pleased that he was not alone in the overwhelming passion, that he had driven everything but making love from her mind. It had consumed him, a force of nature, like trying to walk through a cyclone.

“What are we going to do?” she asked. She walked outside, to the low wall and leaned her elbows on it, staring out at the rising sun as it made the shadows in the valley disappear. “I guess we’ll have to get a divorce, then.”

“The legalities will be a bit more complicated.”

“If you’re talking about alimony or anything like that, let me assure you I don’t want or expect anything. I’ll be grateful forever that you were here for me in one of the most emotional and difficult times of my life. That’s priceless. So I don’t see why it has to be complicated if it’s what we both want. Neither of us will contest it—”

“What if there is a child?”

She went completely still, then turned to look at him. “No way.”

“It was my fault. I did not once think about doing anything to prevent conception.”

“It was just once,” she whispered.

“That is enough.” Even as the words left his mouth, something inside was telling him that once would not be enough with Jessica.

“Of course. I knew that. It’s just—” She shook her head, then rubbed shaking fingers over her forehead. “I can’t believe it. I’m the perfect example of the idiot woman who doesn’t believe she could get pregnant the first time.”

“So—”

“So,” she echoed.

“If there is a child—”

“No.” She straightened away from the wall and met his gaze, her own filled with fear, shock and disbelief. And something else unrecognizable. “There is no child. Fate would not be so cruel.”

A
WEEK LATER
, as the limousine drove through the city to the outskirts where her grandparents lived, Jessica pressed a hand to her flat abdomen and prayed that she’d spoken the truth to Kardahl and right now she was feeling nerves. It was too soon to know if a baby was on the way.

That didn’t mean she was opposed to the idea of children someday. Just that she’d tried so hard not to make the same mistakes her mother had. As far as Jess could tell, the only one she hadn’t made was being married the first and only time she’d had sex.

Before she had a baby, she wanted to be in love with the father. Hopeless romantics wanted to be in love period. But while she’d waited these few days for her grandparents’ return, Kardahl had been conspicuously absent and that was probably a good thing. She hadn’t been completely truthful when she’d told him sex was a little disappointing.

After the first minor discomfort receded, she’d seen the potential. And the fuss? She’d thought a lot about his comment that there were things a man could do to make it more satisfying for a woman. Her skin tingled and her breasts tightened at the thought of how lovely those things might be. And that was why his absence had been a relief. She didn’t trust herself not to fall into his bed again.

She’d also had lots of time to analyze her situation. Jess had grown up without a father’s influence on her life, without a father’s unconditional love to shelter her. She didn’t know anything else and had come to terms with that.

However, it was one thing not to know a father’s affection and never miss it, but quite another to grow up wondering why your father can’t love you at all. She knew that Kardahl could never love her and she could deal with it. She was a grown up. But she couldn’t stand watching him not love her child.

The most frustrating part was that she couldn’t even blame him. Not after the tragedy of losing the woman he loved and his unborn child along with her. It was so much easier when she thought him a shallow cad. Now she felt just the opposite and had come to respect him very much. As the big car drove through the security gates and the palatial white stucco house with red-tiled roof came into view, Jess missed his solid, comforting presence.

All her life she’d wanted a grandmother and grandfather who would spoil her rotten and she was about to get her wish. At least to meet them. The spoiling rotten part wasn’t as important now as it had been when she was ten. She was nervous, but not nearly as much as when she’d met her aunts. Kardahl’s presence had gotten her through and the void left by his absence today was so big it scared her. How could his impact on her life have grown so large in such a short time?

When Antonia was alive he’d been ready to throw tradition out the window. He’d only involved himself in their arranged marriage because love didn’t matter to him anymore. But he mattered to her so much more than she’d ever thought possible.

The car moved smoothly up the driveway and stopped in front of the house. An archway with tall, square columns shaded the double doors with their intricate stained-glass design. She’d barely stepped out when one of the doors opened and an older couple came out. Jess’s heart pounded as she walked up the stairs.

The woman was a combination of Aminah, Janan and her own mother, Maram. But Jess felt the pieces of her soul come together when she recognized her own brown hair and hazel eyes—eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

“Grandmother—”

As with her two aunts, the older woman wordlessly opened her arms and Jess moved into her embrace. A sensation of peace settled over her and when she was released, her grandfather pulled her to him for a hug.

“I am Esam,” he said, holding her at arm’s length to study her. “And this is Leena. Welcome, dear child.”

“Thank you.” She smiled at each of them. “All my life I’ve dreamed of a meeting like this.”

“Our prayers have been answered,” the older man said simply.

Her grandmother nodded and slipped an arm around her waist. “Come inside.”

The spacious interior was cool and serene. The foyer was covered in stone tiles that stopped at twin curved staircases leading to the upper floor. In the living room, she was settled on a plush white corner group across from a wall of French doors that opened onto a patio and a view of the jagged mountain peaks in the distance. Her grandmother brought a tray with a pitcher, glasses and a plate of sugar cookies and set it on the mahogany coffee table. How cool was this, she thought.

“Tell us about yourself.” The older woman handed her a tumbler of ice cold lemonade.

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Start at the beginning,” her grandfather suggested, taking a seat beside her.

She was surrounded by love and felt it with every fiber of her being. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I was born December 2 in a county hospital in Los Angeles.”

She told them a version of the truth that edited out the bad parts. But when she related being taken to the state home and growing up with other kids who didn’t have family, her grandmother took her hand and nestled it between her own warm wrinkled ones.

“If only we had known—” Her grandmother sighed, shaking her head.

“Tell me about my mother, before I was born,” she said.

“Maram was a headstrong girl,” Leena began. “Too beautiful for her own good. Stubborn. Sweet.”

“She was our best and brightest,” Esam added.

Jess looked at each of them. “But Aunt Janan is a doctor. Aunt Aminah is married to the leader of the desert people. My mother—”

“Ran away.” Her grandfather’s eyes were sad, a sorrow that went very deep. “She was our youngest, our shining jewel. So beautiful.”

“Yes. We still miss her terribly.” Her grandmother met her gaze, studying her. “You look very much like her.”

Jessica wondered if the resemblance ended with looks and she hoped she wasn’t destined to repeat her mother’s mistakes.

“Tell us about our Maram. After she left. What happened to her?” Leena asked.

Jess didn’t want to tell them the whole ugly truth. Not yet. “She was a good mother. Every night when she tucked me in bed, she told me stories of a faraway kingdom called Bha’Khar and handsome princes and beautiful princesses. I thought she’d just made it up.” She smiled at the older couple. “But she got sick, and kept getting worse. Social Services took me away because she wasn’t strong enough to care for me. I loved her very much and still miss her.”

Esam’s mouth trembled, and he pressed his lips tightly together. When he was under control once more, he said, “Let us speak no more about the painful past. Tell us of your impressions of Bha’Khar.”

“What your grandfather means is that we would like to know about Prince Kardahl, your husband.”

“Yeah, about that—”

“We were in Washington, D.C. when we saw news coverage of the palace reception when the announcement of your marriage was made public,” her grandfather explained. “You make a handsome couple. I think you looked happy.”

Was that hope she heard in his voice? “I understand you and the king are responsible for the betrothal between Kardahl and myself.”

“Yes. The king is a dear friend. We felt it was advantageous to join our families through marriage.”

“So you and the king were playing Cupid?” she teased.

He sighed. “It did not work out precisely as we planned. Children have a way of—”

“Doing their own thing?” she suggested.

“Just so.”

“But fate has a way of stepping in and righting things,” Leena said. “You found your way back to Bha’Khar and the family who loves you. Prince Kardahl is your husband and finally settled down, to the relief of his parents
and
, I suspect, the minister of Public Relations. He simply needed a good reason to stop his high jinks and tomfoolery. He will be a good and devoted husband. All is as it should be.”

Not so much, Jess thought. She didn’t want to spoil this perfect first meeting by telling them that she and Kardahl had agreed to stay married to take the heat off his “high jinks” while she met her family. After that, she was going back to America, although the means of dissolving said marriage was now a big question mark since they had consummated the union. Looking at the older couple, she decided that was too much information for the brand-new relationship they were beginning. She was simply going to enjoy them.

And she did. Jess spent all afternoon listening to stories of her mother’s childhood. She learned about her aunts and cousins and toured her grandparents lovely home and soaked up the attention they lavished on her. But there was a state dinner at the palace and she was still playing the part of devoted bride, albeit reluctantly.

She stood. “I’m afraid it’s time for me to go.”

“So soon?” Leena looked genuinely disappointed. “But you’ll be back, yes?”

“Yes.” But Jess knew it would be to say goodbye, and the thought made her chest tight.

With her between them, they walked her to the door. She looked from one to the other. “This day has been a wish come true and every bit as wonderful as I dreamed it would be.”

Leena’s eyes filled. “For us as well, little one. And the first of many visits.”

“You must come back soon,” her grandfather agreed. “Your grandmother—Leena—her name means tender. In translation, Esam means safeguard. For all these many years we have been deprived of the opportunity to live up to our names with our granddaughter. We have much time to make up with you. If there is anything you need, you have only to ask and we will make it happen.”

With a lump the size of Bha’Khar in her throat, Jessica didn’t trust herself to speak. She just hugged them both as hard as she could and found it was more gratifying than any words could be.

As the car pulled away, she looked back and waved. She was no longer alone in the world. She had family. And they had offered to do anything for her. But even the world’s most doting grandparents couldn’t make it so that she wasn’t falling in love with Kardahl.

“Kardahl, we need to talk.”

He was just pouring himself a brandy from the decanter on the bar tucked into the corner of the living room and thought how perfect Jessica’s timing was, because he would no doubt need the drink. Those words coming from a woman never induced peace of mind in a man.

“Do we?”

He took a sip of the liquor, then savored the warmth as it slid down his throat. Lifting a hand, he pulled at his black tie, loosening it to let the ends dangle before twisting open the top button of his dress shirt. The state dinner for the Chinese minister of Finance had been long. Only Jessica had been a bright spot in an otherwise tedious evening.

Even now—especially now—the sight of her had need pulsing through him. He knew the jewel-toned green gown covering her from her long graceful neck to her slender ankles was deceptively chaste. The back dipped provocatively low, flirting with the curves of her delightful derriere. He remembered every inch of her soft flesh from that night they had been together.

Kardahl had unburdened his soul and still did not know whether it had been a mistake. But he knew two things—the loss did not weigh so heavily on his heart. And that night had been abundant with intensity, emotion and the satisfaction of learning he had been correct and innocence masked the depths of his wife’s passion.

It was later that guilt had settled over him, shame for his broken vows. But guilt and shame were not enough to keep him from wanting her again. Once had not been enough and doubts hovered at the edge of his mind that he could ever get enough of her. So he had kept his distance but that had done nothing to temper the temptation to touch her and most definitely had not taken the sting out of his need.

She stood in the center of the room, hands clasped, one thumb brushing over the other. A single lamp was lit and he was jealous of the shadows that caressed her lovely face. They were alone and the need to feel her bare skin beneath his hands consumed him. The last thing he wanted to do was talk.

“What is it you wish to say?” he managed to ask.

“I saw my grandparents today.”

The inner joy lighting her eyes made him smile. “I can see from your expression that it went well.”

She nodded. “They’re wonderful. Everything I hoped they would be and more.”

He risked moving close enough to crook a knuckle beneath her chin and nudge it up. “Now you look most serious. What troubles you?”

“How much time do you have?” she asked with her characteristic impudence.

“As much as you require.”

“Now that I’ve met them my mother’s behavior is even more confusing. I can’t imagine why she would run away and never come back.”

“I cannot answer that,” he said, daring to brush a finger over her cheek. “No one can. And you probably will never know what was in her mind.”

She sighed. “I guess I knew that. It’s just they were so warm and welcoming. The house is amazing. And I felt that they would have been there for her whatever she had done, whatever she needed.”

“It is not necessary for you to know what was going through your mother’s mind. Now that you know your family, the relationship you forge with them from this moment on will be what you make of it.”

“I know.” She caught the corner of her lip between her teeth. “That’s really what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“I do not understand.”

“I won’t have an opportunity to make much of a relationship with them. My goal was to meet them and I’ve done that. Now I have to find a way to tell them goodbye. It’s time for me to go back to America.”

The words seized his chest and squeezed the air from his lungs. Before he could stop the feeling, everything inside him cried out against what she had just said. He had known from the beginning that this was the course of things, but…What?

That was before he had come to know her? Before he had come to like her? A time when he had not expected to grow accustomed to her face across from his at the breakfast table. Or when he had saved her from a harmless spider. Or made love to her and yearned for more.

“You cannot go,” he blurted out.

“Oh?” Her chin lifted. “I thought we had an agreement.”