The Shoemaker's Daughter (51 page)

Hetty still cared for David most days but sometimes she seemed in need of a rest and then Hari kept David at home.

He was a good child and David slept late in the morning and then Hari spent her time running between the workbench and the kitchen, constantly checking that her son was all right.

One morning Hari called on Hetty only to find that she had not been very well. Hetty had barely slept all night and Hari decided she needed a rest.

In spite of Hetty’s protest, Hari took David back home and put him to sleep in the deep cushions of the old sofa she’d bought and he seemed to like it well enough. At any rate he didn’t stir when she entered the kitchen to check on him.

Throughout the morning, Hari had a string of customers, some of them just curious but others with genuine jobs for her to do. One or two of her old customers came back and Hari soon found herself surrounded by boots and shoes in all states of disrepair.

She ate a midday meal of fresh bread and cheese and then holding David she fed him on potato mashed with butter and milk. She was so relieved that now he was weaned, it made life much easier.

There was a knock on the door and instinctively Hari called out for the visitor to come in. She glanced up and the breath seemed to leave her body as she saw the tall figure of Craig Grenfell standing in the doorway.

‘Hari,’ he said softly, ‘I must talk to you, don’t turn me away again, surely you can find a little charity in your heart?’

The colour rose to her cheeks even as she stared at him coldly.

‘We have nothing to say to each other.’ She spoke quickly, and, rising, she put David down on the sofa.

Craig moved to look at his son and then held out his hand and touched Hari’s shoulder. The warmth of his fingers seemed to scorch her skin even through the thick material of her bodice and, angry though she still was, she somehow couldn’t move away from him.

‘Hari, I’m asking you to forget our differences,’ he said gently, ‘we love each other so why keep up this barrier between us?’

He slowly drew her closer and she looked up into his face. His lips were very close to hers and Hari felt that she would like nothing better than to melt into his arms. Why was she being so stiff necked and proud?

And yet, reason told her, Craig had failed her when she most needed him, putting business and even another woman before what he called his love for her. And yet should she hold that against him for ever?

She moved away from him abruptly, she couldn’t think, not with him so close to her.

‘Look at my son,’ Craig said softly, ‘lying on an old sofa in a dingy house in the slums of Swansea. Why should he have to when I could give him the best of everything?’

Hari felt hurt to the core, couldn’t Craig see beyond material things, wasn’t she trying to do the best for her son?

‘Could you give him the best of everything?’ she challenged. ‘Or could you just teach David to value material possessions above all else?’

‘I’m sorry, Hari,’ Craig said swiftly. ‘That was insensitive of me, I can see you are trying your best but you don’t have to work yourself to death when I, can take care of you.’ He came closer again. ‘Please, Hari, I’m not an ogre, I love you, can’t you just accept that?’

‘No, I can’t.’ Hari said obstinately, ‘I don’t trust you, Craig, you never seem to be there when I need you.’ Her anger was rising.

‘You even put a common bawd before me, I could never trust you again, can’t you understand that?’

‘I can’t excuse myself for that, Hari, I regret it bitterly but I’m only human too, don’t you think I want the comfort of warm arms around me?’

‘I see, you’d want me to be just a doll in a doll’s house, a pair of “warm arms”. Well, I’m a person in my own right and if I work myself to death in an effort to succeed then it’s my business and no-one else’s.’

She opened the door. ‘Please leave, Craig, and try to understand me as I really am, not as you would like me to be. I need success, I need to map out my own future, be a woman in my own right.’

Craig moved towards her and paused looking down at her. ‘I wouldn’t stop you working,’ he said, ‘but I could give you the security of marriage.’

‘I’ve had that,’ she said flatly, ‘and it was all a dream, there is no security except what a person makes for themselves. Goodbye Craig.’

She closed the door quickly, afraid she would soften under the appeal in his eyes. Craig was not for her, perhaps she was not meant for marriage at all but was a lone woman who would carve out her own destiny.

And yet, as she sank down into a chair and stared down at her son, her eyes were moist with tears.

Later that evening Will came over to World’s End and Hari hugged him warmly. ‘Got some jobs for you,’ she said, ‘I’ve had a few pairs of boots in today and Lewis has promised to put in an hour or two. He’s out the back washing ready for supper.’

She moved to the fire and stirred the pot of stew so that the aroma of meat and vegetables drifted invitingly round the kitchen.

‘You’ll have a bite to eat with us, Will?’ she asked, already putting out the dishes.

Will sat at the table and smiled up at her. ‘Hetty sends her love and asks can she mind Davie for you tomorrow?’ He winked. ‘She says she’s feeling better now. I think the old lady is missing having you and the baby under her roof much more than she’ll admit.’

Lewis entered the kitchen just as Hari was ladling out the stew and he sniffed appreciatively. ‘
Duw
that
cawl
smells nice.’

Lewis sat next to Will and thumped his shoulder heartily with a few jugs of ale inside him. ‘Hello there old butty, going to give me a hand with some boots later on?’

‘Aye, I suppose so,’ Will said, picking up a piece of bread from the plate, ‘won’t hear the end of it if I don’t.’

‘When are you moving in here then?’ Lewis asked between mouthfuls of stew and Will shrugged.

‘As soon as me and Sarah get hitched, I suppose, and I’m working on that, we want to wed as soon as possible.’

Lewis stopped eating and stared at Will in disbelief. ‘You’re not really going to marry her, are you?’ he asked failing to see Hari’s warning glance.

‘Yes, I am, any objections?’ Will’s voice was cool and Hari nudged Lewis with her elbow.

‘Eat up your stew,’ she said in agitation, ‘there’s plenty more there, mind.’

‘The boy’s got to be told the truth,’ Lewis said quietly. ‘Don’t fret, Hari, it’s for the best.’

He turned to Will. ‘Look, it’s like this, me and Hari heard the girl rowing with Sam Payton, he’s the one who put you in hospital and he’s the one who put Sarah in the family way.’

Will was suddenly pale. He turned to Hari, his eyes full of pain. ‘Is this true?’ he asked.

Hari bit her lip. ‘Yes, Will, it is, I’m sorry you had to find out like this but perhaps as Lewis said, it’s for the best.’

‘For the best,’ Will repeated the words blankly, ‘what a blind fool I’ve been.’ He rose to his feet and rubbed his hand through his hair.

‘I think I could forgive her anything, the deceit and the lies all of it except that she consorted with that
scum
!’

‘Will, don’t think too harshly of her, these things happen to us women even though we don’t mean them to.’ Hari couldn’t bear the look of pain in Will’s face.

Will turned and looked at Hari and, after a moment, he shook his head. ‘I can’t believe it. You are
sure
aren’t you, Hari, there can be no doubt?’

It was Lewis who answered. ‘We both heard the girl; pleading with Payton, she was, shouting at him that she was carrying his child. The man just shut the door in her face and told her more or less to go to hell.’

‘I’m sorry, Will,’ Hari said, ‘there’s no doubt about what we heard.’

‘And you weren’t going to tell me the truth, Hari?’ Will asked slowly.

‘No, Will, I wanted Sarah to be the one to tell you but I suppose she was afraid.’

Will moved to the door. ‘I’m sorry, Hari, I won’t be able to work tonight after all, perhaps tomorrow all right?’

‘Will!’ Hari was on her feet. ‘Now don’t do anything silly.’

‘I’m a man now, Hari,’ he said, ‘I must make my own decisions.’

He went out and closed the door and Hari looked at Lewis appealingly. He rose and picked up his jacket.

‘Don’t worry,’ he said, ‘I’ll make sure he comes to no harm.’ Lewis paused for a moment and stared at Hari. ‘Will had the right to know the truth, mind,’ he said gently. ‘He had to be told.’

When the door closed behind Lewis, Hari rose to her feet and began to clear up the remains of the meal. She put the bread back in the pantry and then, suddenly, she sank down into a chair and put her head in her hands.

But she couldn’t cry for a rage was burning within her, against whom she didn’t know. All that was clear was that, in this life, it seemed that the wrong people were the ones getting hurt.

After a while, she rose and pushed the kettle on to the flames, she would wash the dishes and then make a nice cup of tea and perhaps by that time Lewis would be back with some news.

But the minutes stretched into hours and all Hari could hear as she sat in the silence was the soft breathing of her baby and the occasional shifting of coals in the grate.

34

Hari sat in the kitchen and stared across at Hetty who was dressing David in his outdoor clothes.

‘I’m so worried about Will,’ Hari said softly, ‘I don’t know if Lewis was right to tell him about Sarah or not.’

‘These things are always meant,’ Hetty said sagely. ‘It’s all been taken out of your hands so there’s no good going on about it.’

She buttoned up David’s coat and pulled a woollen hat over his dark curls. ‘I’ll take him over to my house for the day, right love?’ Hetty stared at Hari, ‘And don’t you go over doing it; worrying about all and sundry like you do doesn’t make life any easier for you.’

‘I can’t help worrying when there’s so much to fret about,’ Hari said. ‘There’s been no word from Will since he walked out of here last week, how can I not worry?’

‘I know,’ Hetty smiled, ‘you take the weight of the world on your shoulders and you only a little bit of a thing too.’

Hetty deftly wrapped the Welsh shawl around herself and the baby, tucking under the ends so as to support David’s weight.

‘At any rate, you know the boy will be fine with me so you needn’t fret about
him
, all right?’

Hari returned the older woman’s smile. ‘All right,’ she agreed, ‘David couldn’t be in better hands.’

Hari waited in the doorway, watching until Hetty had disappeared along the street, then she returned to the kitchen and began to clear the table. Hetty was right, time spent worrying was time wasted, Hari had work to do.

In the shop, sitting at the bench surrounded by the tools of her trade, Hari felt a surge of pride, the way the work was coming in she would have more than enough money to pay the month’s rent and to buy herself more leather.

She had begun to make a pair of evening slippers, working in a new design of soft kid and blue, shiny satin. She intended to decorate the slippers with blue glass beads given to her by Hetty. Soon, she would have a window display that would catch the eye of anyone passing and, in spite of the poverty of the neighbourhood, it was a thoroughfare much used by the gentry.

The door of the workshop opened and the bell jangled noisily. Hari looked up and was somewhat surprised as she saw Emily enter the shop.

‘Hello, Hari.’ Emily came up to the counter and her gaze went immediately to the half-made slipper on the last.

‘What can I do for you?’ Hari said, deliberately dropping a cloth over the slipper. ‘It’s ages since I saw you, everything all right is it?’

‘I don’t want to intrude,’ Emily said apologetically, ‘but I wanted to talk to you about Sarah.’ Emily paused finding it difficult to go on.

‘She’s most distressed that Will has not been to see her for some days now, is anything wrong?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Hari said, ‘but I have no control over Will, he’s a man now and comes and goes as he likes.’ Hari bit her lip, she could hardly tell Emily the truth about her stepdaughter.

‘He has responsibilities.’ There was an edge to Emily’s voice, ‘He can’t be allowed to desert the girl after taking advantage of her. I know you are bound to support Will but, in the circumstances, you must at least believe in fair play.’

‘You don’t know all the facts,’ Hari said slowly. ‘Please Emily, leave well alone, keep right out of it, that’s my advice.’

‘Naturally you are on Will’s side but you can be thankful that it’s me standing here and not Sarah’s father.’ Emily brushed back a stray curl of hair in agitation.

‘John is very angry indeed about the way William is behaving.’

Hari sighed heavily. ‘Please listen to me, Emily,’ she said. ‘You don’t know the half of the story and here you are throwing your weight around as usual.’

‘Look,’ Emily said, ‘we may no longer be close friends and a great deal of that is my fault, I admit, but we can at least act in a civilized manner. Can’t you at least invite me in to where we can talk in private?’

‘Yes, of course.’ Hari rose to her feet. ‘Come on through to the kitchen, have a cup of tea.’

‘I don’t want to trouble you for any tea,’ Emily said, as she followed Hari into the warmth of the kitchen, ‘just tell me where I can find William and I’ll say my piece and be on my way.’

Hari felt anger building up within her. ‘I don’t know where Will is,’ she said quickly, ‘I only wish I did.’

‘Don’t help the boy wriggle out of his obligations, Hari,’ Emily said reasonably, ‘he’s got Sarah in trouble and the poor girl is heart broken.’

‘Rubbish!’ The word exploded from Hari’s lips. ‘The child Sarah is carrying isn’t even Will’s, Sarah has been playing around with Sam Payton if you must know and since William learned the truth, he hasn’t been seen. If it’s anyone who is heartbroken, it’s William.’