The Shoemaker's Daughter (53 page)

As Emily sat in the coach beside John, she clung on to his hand knowing she was dreading the coming interview with Sarah. As the girl’s pregnancy had advanced, she had become moody and irritable which was only to be expected given the circumstances.

It was late afternoon and the shop was still busy, customers nodded and smiled in Emily’s direction and she absent-mindedly responded to their greetings.

Upstairs, Mrs Grinter was sitting near the window sewing a tiny garment and, when she saw Emily enter the room with John beside her, she pushed it quickly to one side.

‘Sarah’s in her room, resting,’ she said. ‘I told her not to work today, you don’t mind, do you, Mrs Miller?’

‘You did the right thing,’ Emily said gently. ‘I wouldn’t want Sarah falling sick. Put the kettle on will you Mrs Grinter, make us all a nice cup of tea.’

It was John who knocked on the door of Sarah’s room and John who was first to enter. Emily followed him and saw that Sarah looked a little pale and there were circles of darkness beneath her eyes. John took his daughter’s hand.

‘My poor little girl,’ he said gently, ‘we’ve come to see what we can do to make you more comfortable, Emily feels you can’t live here like this, it’s not at all suitable for you.’

‘What do you expect me to do then, live in a poky room on my own somewhere?’ Sarah said truculently.

‘Not at all!’ Emily said quickly. ‘If you want your own house, you can have it and enough staff to care for you and the baby when it comes.’

‘I’d rather come to live with you,’ Sarah said quickly. ‘I don’t want to be on my own.’

‘Of course you can live with us,’ John said at once. ‘We wouldn’t dream of leaving you on your own, if you don’t want to be, would we Emily?’

Emily felt dismayed at the turn the conversation was taking, she didn’t want Sarah’s disruptive influence to spoil the harmony she shared with John, but how could she put that into words without sounding selfish?

‘We can take you home with us right now if that’s what you want,’ John said but Sarah shook her head.

‘No, dad, I don’t feel like moving today, there’s plenty of time, the baby isn’t due for a couple of months yet.’

Emily was ashamed of the feeling of relief that swamped her, at least there would be a short reprieve, time perhaps for her to get used to the idea of sharing her home with John’s daughter.

John patted Sarah’s shoulder. ‘There will be every comfort for your baby when it arrives,’ he said jovially, ‘Emily will see to that, won’t you love?’

‘Of course.’ Emily felt like an outsider looking in on a scene that had nothing to do with her. ‘I’ll go and see how that cup of tea is coming on.’

Mrs Grinter was setting the tray and Emily sank into a chair, pushing back a stray curl. She took the cup the housekeeper handed her and sipped the hot, sweet liquid gratefully.

‘I’ll have mine out here,’ she said, ‘give them a little time to talk.’

‘Aye,’ Mrs Grinter said darkly, ‘there’s a lot to talk about.’

‘What do you mean?’ Emily asked and Mrs Grinter set the tray back on to the table.

‘That girl has got her dates wrong,’ she said quietly. ‘She’s further on than we all thought, sooner you get her out of here the better, I’ll be pleased. I’ve seen a few babies into the world but I’m no midwife, mind.’

Emily was silent, if Sarah’s dates were wrong, she’d better be settled somewhere fast. Mrs Grinter was still grumbling.

‘I’m worried in case she goes into labour, I couldn’t take the responsibility of all that.’

‘Mr Miller has already asked Sarah to come and live with us,’ Emily said reassuringly, ‘it will all be sorted out, don’t worry.’

But would it? Would she ever get to the truth of whose child Sarah was carrying?

Meg’s determination to do something for Hari had been growing ever since she’d spoken to Lewis about the problems Hari faced. She and Charles had talked it over and had decided to surprise Hari with the gift of premises inside the theatre itself, that way any artists appearing there would be tempted by Hari’s skill as a shoemaker.

Hari had put up all sorts of arguments about independence and not wanting charity until Meg begged to be allowed to help.

‘Please darling Hari, let me do this one thing, just think how it will draw in the crowds for our productions! We will all benefit, you must see that. In any case, my Charlie feels he has never repaid his debt to you for making him those special boots. Hush now, we will hear no more about it.’

At last, Hari had been persuaded, providing she kept on the place in World’s End as well, and now the work on the premises was complete and the opening would take place within the week.

Hari stood in the evening sunshine with Meg beside her and gazed at the large, newly fitted window to the side of the theatre entrance feeling the excitement of a challenge burning within her. She had wanted to expand and now Meg and Charlie had given her a wonderful chance to do just that.

The window was dressed in Hari’s traditional stark style with swathes of silk and only three pairs of shoes and one pair of fashionable boots on display.

‘I can’t help thinking of the opening occasion of the other shop,’ Hari said, ‘Emily and me, we had such dreams and
duw
, for her at least they’ve come true.’

‘Charlie brought me to the champagne party,’ Meg said smiling, ‘what a long time ago it all seems.’

‘Well, I’d better get off home now, I have a lot to do,’ Hari said, touching Meg’s arm.

Meg nodded her agreement. ‘I can understand that you want to get back to that son of yours, I don’t suppose you like to leave David with Hetty for too long, do you?’

‘Well, I’m always afraid of putting on Hetty, she’s so good-natured,’ Hari said. She paused and pushed back a stray curl.

‘I know it’s silly but I keep hoping every time I go to Hetty’s house that William will have returned, I’m so worried about him, Meg.’

‘He’s a man now,’ Meg said, ‘try not to worry about him, he’ll come home when he’s sorted himself out.’

Hari made her way back to World’s End at a brisk pace and, as she entered the house, she felt relieved to be back indoors. Hari suddenly felt her elation vanish, she was suddenly tired and dispirited, she was making a success of things and yet her life seemed hollow and empty without Craig and without William; the two men who were so dear to her had gone from her life perhaps for ever.

Emily looked up from her books and her gaze was drawn to where Sarah sat next to her father on the huge leather sofa. The girl was pouting and John was trying to talk sense into her.

‘I don’t want you going out alone, not in your condition,’ John said reasonably, ‘goodness knows what could happen.’

‘But I’m beginning to feel like a prisoner,’ Sarah said hotly, ‘I can’t do this, I can’t do that, I’m not a child you know.’

‘It’s only because I care about you,
cariad
.’ John rested his hand lightly on Sarah’s but she pulled away and rose awkwardly to her feet.

‘I’ve got to get out or I’ll suffocate!’ She moved to the door and Emily folded away her books.

‘What if we go for a walk?’ she suggested though it was the last thing she wanted to do. ‘A breath of fresh air might do both of us good.’

‘Aye, all right.’ Sarah spoke reluctantly and Emily knew that the girl had agreed only because it was a way of getting out of the house.

Sarah had caused chaos ever since she’d moved in with John and Emily, her behaviour had been that of a sulky child and she seemed to take great delight in baiting John. More than once Emily had bitten back the angry words that rose to her lips.

It was a fine afternoon and Emily felt her spirits rise, perhaps the walk would do them both good. She glanced at Sarah who had pulled a shawl over her swollen body and looked very pretty indeed now that the frown had disappeared from between her eyes.

‘Shall we go on to the beach?’ Emily asked and Sarah shrugged.

‘I don’t mind.’ She gazed ahead not meeting Emily’s eyes. ‘I suppose it’s too much to ask that you let me be on my own for a little while?’

Emily sighed. ‘All right, if that’s what you really want but meet me back here in half an hour.’ She watched as Sarah moved away and then followed her at a discreet distance. Emily felt she owed it to John to keep an eye on his daughter whether Sarah liked it or not.

The girl moved purposefully now towards the streets around Salthouse Passage. It was clear that she intended to make a visit and Emily bit her lip guessing that Sarah was making her way towards the home of Sam Payton.

She was not wrong, she saw Sarah knocking on the door of one of the shabby houses and, after a short wait, the man came to the entrance and leaned insolently against the door jamb.

‘What do
you
want?’ he asked briskly and Sarah clutched the shawl close around her.

‘I want to be with you, Sam,’ Sarah said and from where she stood hidden in one of the doorways Emily heard the quiver in Sarah’s voice.

‘What do I want with a baby hanging round my neck?’ Sam said scornfully. ‘Look, Sarah, we had fun once but I’m not the fatherly kind, see.’

‘But Sam, I won’t be like this for ever,’ Sarah said desperately, ‘once I’ve had the baby we could have great times together again.’

‘I’ll think about it if you get rid of the child,’ Sam said shortly and, without another word, he closed the door in Sarah’s white face.

Emily felt anger boil up within her, how could the man treat Sarah in such a callous way? Not wanting Sarah to know she had witnessed her humiliation, Emily moved quickly along the road towards the spot where she and Sarah had agreed to meet.

Sarah, when she came, was almost in tears, and was holding her shawl close as if for comfort. ‘I want to go home,’ she said, ‘I feel really bad.’

Emily led Sarah back towards the house feeling sorry for her, no-one deserved to be so badly treated.

‘I’m going to bed,’ Sarah said once they reached the house, ‘I’ve got such awful pains in my stomach, I can hardly stand.’

Emily fussed around Sarah, helping her get undressed and into bed. ‘Do you think your labour pains have started?’ she asked anxiously as Sarah winced.

‘I don’t know,’ Sarah said. ‘I’ve never had the misfortune to have a baby before, have I?’

Misfortune? How Emily would love to be in Sarah’s place right now. ‘I’ll call the doctor to look at you just in case,’ she said reassuringly.

John was concerned by the look on Emily’s face. ‘What is it?’ he asked, taking her by the shoulders.

‘I don’t know but it looks as though the baby is coming, can you fetch the doctor, love?’

Time seemed to drag while they were waiting for the doctor to come and, all the time, Sarah’s pains were getting worse.

‘I can’t stand this!’ she said to Emily, ‘I don’t even want the baby so why should I have to go through all this?’

‘It won’t be for long,’ Emily said gently, ‘look how many women have babies every day, you’ll be fine don’t you worry.’

‘It’s all right for you to talk,’ Sarah said, ‘you are not the one in pain.’

Emily was relieved when the doctor arrived, his voice calm and unemotional as he examined Sarah.

‘A very healthy young woman,’ he pronounced. ‘I don’t anticipate any problems here.’ He looked at Emily. ‘Can I rely on your assistance, Mrs Miller?’

‘Yes, of course.’ Emily spoke with more assurance than she felt. She fetched an apron from the cook’s room and wrapped it around herself, her hands trembling. She was so excited, anyone would think it was her own baby coming into the world.

The doctor proved to be right, Sarah’s confinement proceeded very smoothly and his attitude throughout was almost unconcerned though to Emily it was the most wonderful thing she had ever witnessed.

When, at last, the child was born, the doctor handed her to Emily with a few terse instructions.

‘It’s a girl, Sarah!’ Emily said breathlessly, ‘a beautiful little girl.’ She would have given Sarah the child but Sarah turned her face away and would not even look at her baby.

The doctor shook his head. ‘Don’t worry, it takes some new mothers a little time to adjust,’ he explained and Emily held the baby close as though the little one might sense her mother’s rejection.

Looking at the crushed and reddened features of the baby, Emily felt she had never seen anything so beautiful.

‘Don’t worry, little love,’ she whispered, ‘I’ll look after you.’

In the days that followed the birth of the baby, Emily tried all she knew to make Sarah take an interest in her daughter. But Sarah refused point blank to even hold the child, let alone feed her. At last, Emily was forced to get in a wet nurse for fear the baby would starve.

It was about two weeks after the baby was born when Emily went into Sarah’s room and found the baby alone in her crib. The cupboards were empty and not even one of her possessions was left to show she had ever been in the house, Sarah had vanished.

Emily, holding the baby close, felt a dart of pure happiness. ‘You are mine now,’ she said in a whisper, ‘all mine.’

36

Hetty stared ahead of her wondering why the tall buildings and dingy windows with faded curtains hanging askew were wavering before her eyes.

She hoisted David up higher in her arms telling herself that he really was getting far too heavy for an old woman like her to carry. She had felt strange earlier that day and she knew she should not have gone over for David, she should have stayed in bed.

And yet today was the opening of Hari’s new shop at the theatre, all the gawpers would be there, folks come out of sheer curiosity but who might stay to buy.

Hetty’s head began to ache and she felt so sick and dizzy that she paused for a moment, leaning against a wall, trying to pull herself together. She was not far from Salthouse Passage, only a few more yards and she would be home. She could put David down for a nap and then she too could sleep. Sleep, it seemed such a wonderful idea, why was she so very tired in the middle of the afternoon?