The Silk Vendetta (45 page)

“You would not do this.”

Would I not? I think you have a great deal to learn about me. It would be the story of the mausoleum all over again. You flouted me then. If it had not been for Drake how long would you have remained in that cold dank place with the remains of long dead Sallongers?”

“Nothing on Earth would induce me to become, as you call it, your dear friend.”

“We shall see, Lenore my darling. We shall see.”

“Will you go now?”

He bowed his head. “But,” he said, “I shall be back. I think when you consider this matter and all it entails you may change your mind.”

“I never shall,” I told him.

“Au revoir, sweet Lenore,” he said.

When he had gone I felt shaken and exhausted. I had always known he was a dangerous man; but I had not until that moment realized how dangerous.

I did not tell anyone of that interview with Charles. I could not bring myself to talk of it. I was in a state of great anxiety. One thing I knew was that Charles was not talking idly. He had always had a special feeling for me which fluctuated between desire and dislike. He wanted to humiliate me, to hurt me; he had sought opportunities, as in the case of the mausoleum; but this was a more serious matter.

I should have loved to take my troubles to Grand’mere but I did not want to worry her. I had brought her a great deal of anxiety through my relationships both with the Comte and with Drake. She took these things too much to heart. I could not burden her with this new and frightening development.

Then I had a letter from Drake.

“I must see you,” he wrote, “but after Julia’s outburst it would be unwise for us to be seen together. I have an idea. My old nanny has a house in Kensington. I have always visited her over the years. Could we meet there? She would be very discreet and do anything for me. She has always been like a mother to me. She is Miss Brownlee of 12 Parsons Road. Do come there. Could it be tomorrow afternoon. I shall go there then. Say two thirty. I must talk to you, Lenore. Please come.”

I could not ignore the plea and I did feel that I had a great deal to say to Drake. I also realized how unwise it would be for us to be seen together particularly after Charles’s threats.

I did not say where I was going. I took a cab. The journey was quicker than I had anticipated, and I arrived at the house quite ten minutes early. There were very few people about. A cab did just draw up as I was getting out of mine. That was all. The house was small with discreet lace curtains and a highly polished knocker.

It was opened by a pleasant-faced woman of about sixty with rosy cheeks, white hair and bright blue eyes. She smiled at me warmly. “You must be Mrs. Sallonger,” she said.

I said that I was. “And you are Miss Brownlee.”

“That’s right. Master Drake has told me you were coming. He will be here shortly. He is always punctual. Come into my little parlour.”

The parlour was a cluttered little room with windows which looked out onto the street, but the view was discreetly hidden by the lace curtains. There was a settee, several chairs, and in the fireplace a bunch of roses. A big ormolu clock stood on the mantelshelf in between two large vases with angels clinging to them as though supporting them. In one corner of the room was a what-not with innumerable little ornaments on it and in another a corner cupboard with glass doors displaying more ornaments.

Miss Brownlee bade me sit down.

She said: “It’s a pretty little house, isn’t it? I’m proud of it. He bought it for me … you know, Master Drake.”

“Oh, did he?”

She smiled. “My wonderful boy. Of all my children, he was the best.”

“I know you were his nurse.”

”Nanny Brownlee … that was me. I had some little cherubs in my time, but there wasn’t one that could touch Drake. I used to say to him, ‘You’re going to forget all about me when you go to school and get your grand friends.’ ‘I never will, Nanny Brownlee,’ he said. And he was right, God bless him. Always he remembered … birthdays … Christmas … and then when I’d done with working he bought me this little house. And he comes to see me. He’ll talk to me too… . Tell me his troubles. I want to see him Prime Minister one day. If they had any sense they’d make him one right away.”

“It is clear that he has an ardent supporter in you.”

“Well, I know him. He’ll be here soon. Right on time. I taught him that. I said, ‘You must be punctual, Master Drake. It’s bad manners to be late. Like saying you don’t want to come much and what could be ruder than that.’ He remembered. He always remembered. I like to think I helped to make him the man he is today.” She looked at me quizzically, her bright blue eyes penetrating and alert. I wondered how much she knew about my relationship with Drake. A good deal, I imagined, for he would have confided in her.

“He’s very sad just now, and has been for a long time. It was a terrible thing that happened to him. I pray that it will all come right and he’ll get what he deserves … and that’s the best.”

The doorbell rang. She glanced triumphantly at the clock.

“Right on time,” she said. “I knew it.”

She left me sitting there while she went to the door. I heard her say: “She’s here.”

She brought him into the little room.

“Lenore,” he said, “so you came.”

I smiled at him. He looked tired and drawn.

Miss Brownlee said: “Well, I’m going to leave you two to have a talk. A nice cup of tea say just before four? How will that be?”

“Thank you, Nanny,” said Drake.

She looked at him with such love and pride that I was deeply touched.

When the door shut Drake turned to me. “I had to do it this way,” he said. “I felt that in view of everything we could not meet where we might be seen.”

“I understand. I was glad to meet Miss Brownlee. She is so devoted to you.”

“She has always been like a mother to me. I suppose I felt closer to her than to anyone for years. The other night … It was monstrous. …”

“I know.”

“You understand what I have to endure?”

I nodded.

“She is unpredictable, Lenore. There is no escape from her. I spend as much time at Swaddingham as I can but she will come there. Ever since that night I have been thinking. Something must be done. What a fool I was to get myself into this.”

“You did what you thought was right. You felt you had to marry her.”

“She tricked me, Lenore.”

“I know. I know.”

“It was when I thought that your father was your lover… . How stupid I was! I can’t tell you how I felt. I was hurt and humiliated and enraged. I should never have doubted you but it seemed to fit and she did it so subtly. And then I was weak. I didn’t care what happened. I stayed that night in her house. You know the rest.”

“It’s no use going over it, Drake. It’s past and we are in this situation.”

“She pretended to care for me and she is trying to ruin me.”

“She is a jealous woman and when she is drinking she is capable of anything. That night was an example of that. We have to be careful, Drake.”

He nodded. “I have thought and thought. I have come to the conclusion that I have to make an end of it. I am going to leave her.”

”There would be scandal.”

“There already has been.”

“You could perhaps live that down.”

“Do you think so?”

“Perhaps. If you are discreet. If you and I do not meet. I could go to Paris for a long time. Things would settle down.”

“That’s the last thing I want. I shall give up politics. I can see that I shall have to do that eventually … even if I remained with Julia. She will not be accepted and she grows worse.”

“Perhaps she will reform. I think she might if she thought you cared for her.”

“I don’t,” he said. “And I can’t pretend.”

“Some scandals can be lived down. Think of Lord Melbourne.”

“He is always cited on these occasions, but I think he had special qualities. He was a natural survivor. I don’t want to live this down. I’m ready to give it up. Lenore, let’s go away together.”

“No, Drake, that isn’t the way.”

“There was a time when I thought you loved me.”

“I do love you, Drake. You are my very dear friend.”

“You mean you do not love me enough.”

“I mean that I do not love you in the way I should have to. People who give up all for each other have to love in a very special way. I am so fond of you. I have always admired you, but…”

“You’ve changed, Lenore. There is someone else.”

I was silent.

“I felt it was so,” he said. “I understand.”

“No, no, you don’t. It is true that I did meet someone. He just had a strange effect on me.”

“You are in love with him.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. It would be foolish of me if I were. No, I am not in love with him. But I feel stimulated and excited to be with him and I think of him a great deal. Perhaps it is ridiculous. I daresay it is. He is not serious. But it is just that if I could feel like that about another person, I shouldn’t think of being in love with someone else.”

Drake looked puzzled.

“I can’t explain further,” I went on. “It was just an … encounter, but it made a deep impression on me. No, there was no real relationship between us. He would have had one … and then passed on. He is that sort of man. I could not accept that and yet… I am being frank with you, Drake. I think of him still and that makes me feel that you should not make any sacrifices for someone as unsure as I am.”

”I have always felt that you and I were meant for each other.”

“I have felt that, too, at times. Grand’mere thinks it. She was terribly upset when you married Julia.”

”She is a very wise woman.”

“Her thoughts are all for me. Your Miss Brownlee reminds me of her. She loves you very dearly.”

“I know.”

“And you have looked after her. She is so grateful.”

“It is I who should be grateful to her.”

“Drake,” I said, “what are you going to do? Julia may well bring divorce proceedings against you.”

“I should welcome them/’

“Charles has suggested that he may persuade her to do so and … cite me.”

He gripped my hand.

“It would be our way out,” he said. “I would welcome any way to end this. Sometimes I think I could be capable of anything.”

“Please, Drake, don’t talk like that. Think what this would mean. It would be the end of your career.”

“But I have already decided to give that up.”

“You think that now but what would you feel in five or ten years’ time? Politics are in your blood. That is your life, Drake. You would always feel that you have missed something.”

”I could be happy if you were with me. You would forget that man. I would forget politics. We could be happy together. I know it.”

“Let us not be rash, Drake. Perhaps something will happen.”

So we talked and talked round the subject and always we came back to the same point. My uncertainty … Drake’s determination that he could not go on and something was going to happen, for if it did not he would soon have to make it.

I was on the point of telling him all about Charles and stopped myself in time. I did not want to add to his anxieties and I did not know what action he would take. All those years ago he had thrown Charles in the lake and so had started festering this resentment against us both. I did not want more trouble so I remained silent.

In due course Miss Brownlee came in with the tea in a big brown tea pot with scones and fairy cakes.

“He always did like my scones,” she told me, “didn’t you, Drake? And fairy cakes were a special treat. Do you remember?”

He assured her that he did. And there in that little room with this woman whose love for him was so evident, I thought what a good man he was and what a tragedy it was that he should be caught up in such a situation. Perhaps if I had married him we should have been very happy together.

We left separately. That seemed wise. Drake had ordered a cab to come and take me home. I left him there. It would return for him later.

I said goodbye to Nanny Brownlee and she assured me that she would be pleased to see me at any time; and I went out to the cab.

A man was walking slowly past the house as I was driven off. I did not think there was anything unusual about that at the time.

I was in a perpetual state of anxiety and the attempt to appear normal was a strain. My main thought was for Katie. She was becoming very knowledgeable and was particularly observant. Sometimes I found her watching me intently. I guessed she knew something was afoot. She was very fond of Drake, but she was fond of many; she had had a great admiration for the Comte. Katie was ready to love anyone in the belief that their intentions were what hers would be. In spite of being fatherless she had been surrounded by love all her life and she could not imagine anything different. I could not bear to think of her being brought face to face with unpleasant realities—particularly those in which her mother could be involved.

We went to the park to feed the ducks—a regular occupation of hers and on this particular day, as we were by the water, Charles appeared. I think he must have followed us.

He swept off his hat. “Good morning, Lenore. Good morning, Katie.”

“Good morning, Uncle Charles,” cried Katie beaming at him. “We are going to feed the ducks.”

“Such angels of mercy,” said Charles casting his eyes up to the skies.

Katie thought that was very funny.

”Some of them are rather greedy,” she said.

“A common failing in most living creatures,” commented Charles.

”There is one who is especially greedy. He tries to get everything … everyone else’s share as well as his own. I try to stop him. It’s great fun.”

“I must stay to watch the fun,” said Charles.

“I am sure you will find it rather boring,” I said.

”By no means. I find such good deeds inspiring. Casting your bread upon the waters.”

“It’s only stale bread,” put in Katie, adding: “That’s in the Bible.”

“I was hoping you would think it was original.”

“Stale bread and crusts,” said Katie.

“But very acceptable to those greedy creatures obviously.”