The Sisters (29 page)

‘Don’t take out your frustrations on my coffee machine, thank you very much. Look, you have to think positively about all of this. Pass me the spring onions.’

‘That’s all I’ve been doing since I got here but positivity doesn’t pay the bills, Owen. If I don’t get this sorted then I’ll just be surviving, living hand to mouth. I’ve never had to do that before. God, I should be at home, not here, doing…I don’t know…’

‘Look you. There’s nothing wrong with you being here. Life goes on, just because you’ve hit a curve.’

‘Curve? More like a fucking earthquake. You know what Owen, sometimes life is just eggs, it doesn’t matter how much you try and jazz it up with spring onions and chives and paprika, they still remain eggs.’

‘You haven’t tasted my eggs, love,’ Owen said as he kissed her. ‘You have the money, Lou. Spend it.’

‘I can’t take the risk.’

‘Hold on a second. The other night, I listened to your sister spend the whole evening telling me how determined you were and wouldn’t let anyone tell you no, not even your mum. How you were the one who harassed the record companies to take you and your sisters on. You’re a fighter and you’re brave.’

‘I’m not so sure about that.’

‘You take chances. Bloody hell, you even took a chance with me. I never expected you to say yes.’

‘You got lucky there. I don’t know Owen, I just don’t know what the right thing is to do now.’

‘Yes you do. What does your heart tell you?’ Lucinda closed her eyes and thought about it whilst Owen dropped rashers of bacon into a sizzling pan. She could see it now, the memory as clear as though she was stepping out on stage right now. The heat of the lights upon her face, the sounds of the crowd as they shouted out at her name. ‘I want to perform at Ronnie Scotts,’ she said as she opened her eyes.

‘Really?’

‘Yep, that was one of the last places that we performed at before I left and it was such a great night. You have no idea what it’s like to be on stage and to hear people screaming out your name.’

‘I screamed out your name,’ he replied as he placed the plates on the table and then took the cups of coffee from Lucinda and kissed her.

‘Not like that. Why is your mind always in the gutter?’

‘It’s what you like about me.’

‘But you should know what I mean. It’s like knowing that people are coming to your restaurant because of you. Do you know how much of a buzz it is knowing that people have come to see you? That they spent their money, listened to your albums, they know the words of every song and when you’re on that stage, something takes over and you know your purpose. My gran always said that every child comes into this world with a secret. That’s why their fists are closed when they’re born and that secret that you’re holding is your gift. You came here with a purpose and being on that stage is mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, they’re my life but just sitting at home whilst they’re at school, I wasn’t fulfilling my purpose.’

‘Then I don’t get it. Why did you leave? If you were so happy why go solo and disappear to the States?’

‘I never wanted to leave, not really. I never really wanted to be a solo act but I met Paul. I suppose that it was the right time and Paul talked a good game.’

‘But Lou, you don’t strike me as the sort of woman who would let anyone talk you into something that you didn’t want to do.’

‘It wasn’t about me. Leaving Euterpe wasn’t about trying to make some amazing solo career.’

‘So why go?’ Owen asked as he placed a plate in front of her.

Lucinda inhaled the coffee’s aromatic scent and took a sip. ‘I had to save Jess. It wasn’t about me. I had to look after my sister. She was partying too much, drinking too much; Euterpe was going to kill her. So I had to leave. I had to save my sister.’

If someone had told Jessica that nearly twenty years later she’d be back in rehab she’d have told them that they were lying but here she was in Brighton, in a grade II building overlooking the sea, being forced to talk about her relationship with alcohol. Jessica hadn’t slept since she arrived and it had only just dawned on her how much she’d been using alcohol to self-medicate and that she had a problem. She’d always believed that because she’d always got up and gone to work in the morning, that she did not have a problem. She had always functioned. She ran a successful business, a happy marriage and had a wonderful daughter. She had made it and moved beyond the woman who used to be in a girl group and knew how to party. Now she was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and the work hadn’t even begun yet. Her life was falling apart and if it wasn’t falling apart then an estranged husband, who felt he was entitled to everything that she represented, was picking it apart.

‘So, how are you feeling?’ Candice asked as she curled up on an armchair next to Jessica. Despite the fact it was 25 degrees Celsius, Candice was still wrapped up in a hoodie with the sleeves pulled down over her hands. Jessica had thought that the famous photographer had disappeared to Miami for the summer and was surprised to see her in the room next to her. Candice had told her on her first night that her bulimia had returned and she’d become more than reliant on her painkillers that she’d taken after an operation on her back, three years ago.

‘Honestly, I feel as though I’m trying to grab bits of my life out of the drain and it doesn’t even feel like any of this is happening to me,’ Jessica said.

‘That’s how I felt when I came in here. Like I was a visitor in my own fucking life. I never thought that I’d be the type of person to be addicted to anything. I thought I was stronger than that. It’s all a facade really. So have you thought anymore about staying longer?’

‘I have but I can’t do it. I’ve got five days left and then I’m going home to sort my life out. I mean my daughter got her exam results on Thursday and I wasn’t even there.’

‘How did she do?’

‘Oh God, I’m so proud of her,’ Jessica said as she suddenly found herself crying. ‘She got all 10 GCSE’s, 4 A*, 4 As and 2 Bs. I should have been there. Not here. I should have been with her.’

‘Count yourself lucky that she even called you.’

‘I know. I just can’t stop feeling that I’ve disappointed her. I never wanted her to be disappointed in me.’

‘I don’t think she is, Jessica. For fucks sake, we’re only human, not fucking wonder woman. Picking you up from the bathroom floor when you’re covered in your own vomit won’t make her proud but coming here, telling her that you’ve made mistakes and that it’s ok to make mistakes but that you’re getting help, that’ll make her proud.’

‘LUCINDA. I have something that you may be interested in. They won’t pay you.’

‘So why would I be interested?’

‘Just listen to me,’ said Sal. ‘Allure magazine. You’ve heard of it?’

‘Funny enough I’ve got a copy in my hand,’ she replied as she turned the magazine over to look at its cover, noticing it had a beaming Naomie Harris on the front.

‘See, this is a sign. Well, I was talking to their features editor, Lily, who’s a really nice woman I met last night at a book launch. She’s just came out of a messy divorce like you…’

‘My divorce wasn’t messy. You must be confusing me with my sister.’

‘Whatever. Anyway, I was telling her all about you and she said she was working on a feature about high profile women from the nineties…a kind of where are they now and we got talking about you. She loved you lot by the way.’

‘Unfortunately, you can’t put love in a pot to boil Sal.’

‘Stop being a moody cow. She wants to do a whole piece about you, possibly make you the cover story.’

‘Really? A cover?’ Lucinda said standing up as though as she’d been jolted with a cattle prod. ‘She wants to do a cover story on me?’

‘See, that grabbed your attention. So what do you think?’

‘I think that I’d be a fool to say no. I can’t remember the last time I was on a cover.’

‘Pride magazine, November 1999. I’ve got a head for these things.’

‘It wasn’t that long ago was it?’

‘Afraid it was. So, you’ll do it?’

‘Of course, I’ll do it.’

‘Excellent. I’ll give her a call and tell her people to call your people.’

‘Sal, you are my people,’ Lucinda said as she burst out laughing.

‘Oh yeah, I am. Speak to you soon, chick.’

It wasn’t a lottery win but it was definitely what she needed. An opportunity to get back into the public eye. It was as if the universe was finally listening and giving her a break. She was tempted to strip off her clothes and run screaming, naked around the garden, except it wasn’t her garden and she wasn’t that close to her neighbours.

‘Thank you, God,’ Lucinda said as she kissed the magazine cover as though it was a magical talisman.

‘What are you so happy about?’ Richard asked as he walked into the living room and picked up his wallet from the coffee table.

‘Nothing, just life. So, are you ready?’

‘Ready for anything.’

‘Have you told mum where we’re going?’

Richard looked at everywhere in the room, in a misguided effort to avoid Lucinda’s eyes. ‘Dad, you haven’t told her, have you?’

‘She’d only tell me that it’s a stupid idea and a waste of money.’

‘And when she’s finished cussing you, she’ll call and cuss me out and tell me off for encouraging you.’

‘Which is why I need you to do me a favour.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Can you pay for the doctor today? You know what your mum is like. She’ll go and check the bank account online and then ask why I’m giving a Harley street doctor £300.’

‘I should refuse for making me an accomplice.’

‘I promise that I’ll never ask for anything ever again.’

‘Fine, stop panicking,’ Lucinda said as she burst out laughing at her dad’s pleading eyes.

‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay for it.’

The drive to the doctors went quickly as they talked about everything except the cancer, which was perfectly ok with Richard. Ever since his family and friends had found out that he was ill again, he felt as though they were treating him as if the grim reaper was taking him out that very afternoon every time he stepped out of the front door.

‘So tell me what’s happening with you. I feel like I’ve hardly seen you,’ Richard said.

‘I’ve just been busy, dad. I’ve been at the studio with Carter every other day.’

‘And it’s going well?’

‘Dad, it’s going so well. I haven’t felt this excited about music for God knows how long. I’ve just been asking myself “what have I been doing to myself all of these years?” I’ve wasted so much time. Ooh, let me play you what we’ve been working on.’ Lucinda connected her iPhone and waited for the music to fill the car. With the roof down, the warmth of the sun on their faces and Lucinda’s strong but smooth voice filling the car, encapsulating how they both felt as they drove along Park Lane. Richard closed his eyes and began to nod his head in time to the music.

‘That’s really good, Lulu. So good, I like it. Lord, it reminds of me when I first heard you sing. You were only nine-years-old and you were singing along to my Al Green album.’

‘I think I scratched up that album.’

‘You did, playing Love and Happiness over and over again, and I heard you and I told your mum, “that girl can sing.”’ Lucinda smiled as they pulled up at the traffic lights at Hyde Park Corner. As soon as her song finished she selected Al Green.

Richard began to sing along loudly as Al Green launched into “Love and Happiness”.

‘Well I definitely didn’t get my talent from mum. Go on dad, sing,’ Lucinda said as they headed towards Harley Street.

Lucinda had been holding it in for the past twenty minutes and had even asked the doctor a series of well researched questions on behalf of her dad but now she was struggling and was convinced she’d burst if she didn’t leave the doctor’s office quickly.

‘If you wanted to begin the treatment then we could start straight away. I firmly believe that treating cancer is a multi-step process. I wouldn’t advise you to stop with the chemo and radiotherapy but I’d recommend a course of Laetrile along with complementary therapy like acupuncture and Gerson therapy,’ the doctor said as he spoke to Richard but kept his eyes firmly on Lucinda as she tried to keep her composure by keeping her eyes fixed on the floor.

‘Well, thank you doctor,’ Richard said as he nudged Lucinda with his knee. ‘I’ll give it some thought.’

‘The sooner the better obviously, but think about it overnight and let me know.’

As soon as the black glossy door closed behind them Lucinda collapsed into laughter. ‘Oh my God. I don’t know how he could say all that with a straight face.’

Richard began to laugh also as he watched his daughter lean against the railings to try and compose herself.

‘Come on dad. What were you expecting?’

‘I don’t know. Something a bit more futuristic.’

‘Dad, that office was not the starship enterprise. But saying that you can always give it a try. What’s the worst that can happen?’

‘True, true. Oh well.’

‘Why don’t we go and get some lunch. We can drive up to St Christopher’s place.’

‘Don’t be silly, it’s only a short walk.’

‘Dad, we don’t have to. Ok if you’re sure,’ Lucinda said as she saw the determined look on his face. She linked arms with him and they began to walk. It never ceased to amaze her, the love that she felt for her dad. No matter how old they got, it never went away.

They found a restaurant but decided to sit outside in the square, which was already bustling with diners.

‘I know you’re disappointed,’ Lucinda said as they handed their menus back to the waitress.

‘I was just expecting something a bit more than shark cartilage capsules, sticking needles in my belly and illegal medication.’

‘Dad, the second one wasn’t illegal; it’s just not authorised in the EU.’

‘That’s illegal to me.’

‘It’s authorised in the States.’

‘Money making scheme if you ask me. How much was it again, $500 for a month’s supply? What’s that in pounds?’

‘Just over £300.’

‘See, nothing more than a snake charmer peddling his wares and you couldn’t even keep a straight face. I need to be a bit more practical. Life just becomes a lot clearer when can see the thread of life unravelling before your eyes.’