The Sisters (30 page)

‘You can always have an eco funeral if you want to be practical. We can bury you in a cardboard box in the garden, next to mum’s roses. It’d only cost you a hundred quid,’ Lucinda said, laughing when she saw the laughter lines crease around her dad’s eyes.

‘She’s going to think that the cancer has gone to my brain.’ They said nothing for a while as their food arrived. Richard looked down at his steak sandwich and almost cried as the smell of caramelised onions wafted up his nose. He didn’t think he could manage the whole sandwich but he wanted to at least try

‘Do you regret not having boys, dad?’ Lucinda said as she cut her sandwich in half.

‘Why would you ask that?’

‘I just wondered. Every man wants a son to carry on his name.’

‘I suppose it’d have been nice to have a boy around, especially when you girls were teenagers and were somewhat hormonal. Jesus Christ it was stressful and then your mum was…’ Richard thought about the right word.

‘Pre-menstrual.’ Lucinda grinned at her dad’s embarrassment.

‘Five of you. It was like living in a war zone. The screaming, doors slamming and then you’d start playing Morrissey and The Cure really, really loudly. Even to this day, when I hear Morrissey my blood runs cold.’

‘Sorry about that.’

‘And then the boys started knocking the door; ringing the house. Jessica would be sneaking out of the house. I don’t know what was worse; you lot discovering boys or all the photographers at the door when you became famous. There ‘aint nothing in the parenting manual for that. I should have to written a book. “How to cope when your children become famous.” To be honest I don’t know how you girls even managed to sit down in a room together and write music.’

‘I don’t know either actually. I can’t even remember the last time the four of us were in the same room together.’

‘Well, you will fix that. I know you will. But I don’t regret not having boys. I don’t regret having you girls. I wouldn’t change it for the world. You girls are my life,’ Richard said as he reached across the table and squeezed Lucinda’s hand.

AS THE cab travelled into London Jessica felt that wide eyed anticipation that normally came when you’d been out of the country for several months and you were returning home. She expected to see changes. New buildings going up or old buildings being taken down. She wanted the London that she knew to be bathed in the light of a setting sun but the reality was that she’d only been away for ten days not ten months and there should have only been one change; the change within her. She’d fooled herself into thinking that abstinence would be an easy thing but it was as though she had forgotten everything she’d learnt from her first rehab stint. She’d found that alcohol was something that she craved. She used it as a crutch, as a way of telling herself that it was just another way of relaxing; a liquid yoga. Ten days sober was not enough. She knew that and she also knew that the battle to regain herself would not start until she had stepped out of the cab, opened her front door and walked back to her life.

Jessica had arrived home a day early and knew she’d be alone. Lena was still living a hobo lifestyle and Jessica honestly couldn’t remember if she was spending the night with her father, aunt or grandparents. That thought had pained her. Richard and Felicia had always made sure that their children had a stable life and hadn’t been keen to send them here there and everywhere. The girls had to beg just to stay the weekend with their aunts or grandparents when they were young. It was only once they discovered the freedom of their travel cards that they begun to spend weekends away, but it hadn’t been encouraged.

It was 8.05pm and the sky had not yet completely given itself away to darkness but Jessica could see that the hallway light was on. Jessica watched the light, feeling confused. There was no way that Lena would be home and far as she was aware there had been no emergency that would require either Emma, Beatrice or her parents to be at her home. Her heart stopped in her chest and her stomach sunk when she saw the car. The gleaming silver Porsche was sitting defiantly two doors away from her front door.

‘Please God, no,’ Jessica said as she walked towards the car praying that it belonged to someone else. But the residential parking permit on the windscreen with her door number written on the front and the personalised number plate, which she’d always hated but had never had the guts to tell him that it was pretentious and egotistical, was displayed proudly in black and yellow.

‘What are you doing in my house?’ Jessica said calmly, which surprised her considering that she could feel herself shaking with rage as she watched Andrew walking territorially around the living room.

‘That’s not a very nice welcome for your husband,’ Andrew said with a smug grin on his face.

‘You’re not my husband.’

‘Well until the court says otherwise, I am. So the least you could do is say hello.’

‘You want me to say hello? The last time I saw you, you were walking out of this house and telling me you wanted a divorce so forgive me if social niceties go out the window. So answer me, what are you doing here?’

‘I’m here to pick up the rest of my things.’

‘There’s nothing here for you.’

‘This house is here and anyway, I thought we could talk about the divorce?’

‘We have lawyers. There’s nothing for us to talk about, so get out.’

‘Come on Jessica, there’s everything to talk about. You’re at risk of losing your house and your business to me. Plus, I know where you’ve just been on your so-called holiday, so I think we should talk, don’t you?’

‘Are you out of your fucking mind? You have no right to anything.’ Jessica shouted as she marched up to Andrew and pushed him firmly in the chest. ‘You didn’t make me. I made me. I did all of this. Not you.’

‘You were nothing when I met you. Just another washed up wannabe singer from yesteryear. I gave you status,’ Andrew said as he grabbed Jessica’s arms and squeezed tightly.

‘You’re delusional. You pursued me. You wanted me. I’m the one who gave you status not the other way round, Andrew. Now let go of me.’

‘You’ve always had an overinflated image of yourself. I picked you up from the shelf of obscurity.’ As soon as Andrew let go, Jessica slapped him round the face. Andrew rubbed at his face but still smiled a mocking, arrogant smile. ‘I’ll get everything, Jessica. Look at you. You’re cold, irrational. Just my luck to pick the frigid sister but then again Lucinda wasn’t up to it either. She was putting up quite a fight. She was lucky you came in when you did.’

Jessica stepped back stunned ‘You didn’t. How could you…’ She didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t Andrew’s betrayal that hit her the most; it was the fact that she was now face to face with the truth. She had been the one who had betrayed her sister.

‘You really are pathetic, Jess. I should have left you ages ago. You know I actually came here to make a deal with you.’

‘Get get out of my fucking house before I call the police.’

‘Give me the agency and you can keep this house and your pathetic royalties.’

‘I’d rather see you dead then give you a penny. I’ll kill you myself rather than give you anything. Now get the fuck out of my house,’ Jessica screamed, her whole body convulsing with rage.

Jake put his arms around his wife and kissed her neck. ‘We haven’t had sex for ages.’

‘And this is how you plan to seduce me, by whining about it?’ Beatrice said as she turned around and kissed her husband as he adjusted the pillow behind his head.

‘I’m too tired to give you the full Jake Ashcroft seduction routine. You’re just going to have make do with begging.’

‘But you’re not too tired to actually have sex.’

‘Do you know if Theo doesn’t come back in here demanding that I read him another story and Sam manages to sleep for four hours straight we may actually have time for a quickie with no interruption?’

‘You’re obsessed.’

‘I’m not. I’m just horny especially when my wife is looking so sexy.’

Beatrice looked down at her grey cotton pyjama bottoms and white vest with the black dye stain on it and shook her head. ‘You’re not right in the head if you think this is sexy.’

‘Of course it is,’ Jake said as he rolled over and laid on top of his wife. ‘Don’t answer it,’ he said as Beatrice’s phone began to ring and vibrate across the bedside table. He placed his hand inside his wife’s pyjama bottoms and felt his way between her legs. Beatrice groaned as she felt his fingers pushing gently inside of her and she began to pull off his t-shirt. He could feel himself hardening and was desperate to be inside his wife when Beatrice’s phone began to ring again from the bedside table. ‘Jake, I should…’

‘No Bea, just leave it. Come on. I just want to be inside of you,’ he whispered into her ear.

The phone stopped ringing for a second time and then almost immediately begun to ring again.

‘Oh for God’s sake,’ Jake said as he rolled off Beatrice, exasperated and grabbed the phone off the table. ‘It’s Jess,’ he said, handing the phone to Beatrice and walked off into the en-suite bathroom. ‘Bea, I don’t think I can handle this anymore.’

‘Jess, what’s happened? Are you ok? Are you hurt?’ She suddenly felt fear as she heard the anguish in her sister’s voice.

‘Andrew was here.’

‘What the hell was he doing there? Did something happen? Did he hurt you?’

Jessica looked down at the faint swelling on her left wrist.

‘No, no. We argued, I slapped him. I’ve just been wrong about so many things, Bea. I’ve made such a big mistake’

‘What happened, Jess?’

‘He just wanted to wind me up by walking in here like he owned the place and then he told me…Oh Bea, I’ve been such an idiot. I couldn’t blame Lou if she never wanted to speak to me again. How could I do that?’

‘Sis, you’re not making any sense. Do you want me to come over? Or Jake can…’

‘No. Don’t be silly. You’ve got the kids. I’ll be fine. Honestly. I’ve got a locksmith coming tonight…I’ll be fine. I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?’

‘What’s happened?’ Jake said as he came back into the room and noticed that his wife’s face was suddenly devoid of colour and her forehead was wrinkled as she tried to comprehend what had just happened. ‘Bea, what’s wrong with your sister? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’

‘You need to go over there. I’ve never heard Jess sound frightened before,’ Beatrice said as she began to shake.

‘Leave it to me. You’ve done enough,’ Jake said as he sat down next to Beatrice and held her tightly.

‘YOU’VE GOT the look of someone who has just heard their voice for the first time,’ said Carter as he stepped out from the control booth.

‘Did it sound ok? Because I wasn’t quite sure,’ Lucinda asked as she picked up her cup of hot lemon tea.

‘Was it ok? You know that it was more than ok. All in one take too. I don’t know what you’ve been so worried about.’ Lucinda couldn’t stop the smile that was spreading across her face. She could feel her cheeks start to ache but she couldn’t help it. As the bright, intense light from the super moon seeped through the studio and illuminated the microphone stand, making it appear that it was glowing with angel wings, Lucinda felt as though she was given some form of heavenly approval.

‘It’s the first time in years that I’ve felt excited. I feel like I’m buzzing. Thank you.’

Carter looked at Lucinda with a quizzical look on his face. ‘You don’t have to thank me. I’m just doing what you paid me to do.’

‘Come on. It’s more than that and you know it. You’ve been amazing, Carter.’ There was no question about it. Carter was talented and he instinctively knew how to bring out the best of her voice. When he’d played back the first recording of an acoustic set of the song that she’d written after she’d arrived home, she was surprised at how much her voice her changed. It was still recognisable as her voice but it had developed a haunting, melancholy huskiness to its tone. It had unnerved her at first but as Carter had said it was richer because of her life experiences.

‘So, when you come back we’ll record the next two tracks with the band,’ Carter said.

‘Sounds good to me. I can’t wait.’

‘It’s good to see you excited.’

‘I am. I really am. I just need to finalise the dates for the show and confirm the venue and then I’m good to go,’ Lucinda said, however not convincingly enough to hide the uncertainty in her voice from Carter. Not after he’d spent the last few weeks listening to every nuance of her voice. He could tell when she was in pain, if she was singing from genuine love or overwhelmed with the enthusiasm of trying something new.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as she sat down next to her on the sofa as Lucinda began to pack away her things. She took a deep sigh and looked upwards. ‘I just don’t want all of this to be for nothing. I mean I’ve loved working with you. I love to sing. It’s all consuming and I just want people to hear me. I know that everyone thinks it’s just about making as much money as you can, and I won’t lie. Before I stepped on that plane that was the only thing that was going through my mind. Just do what you can to make as much money as you can but it’s not about that. Not really.’

Carter nodded in understanding and leaned back into the sofa, the aged leather creaking beneath him.

‘I wasn’t supposed to be doing this,’ he said. ‘The music thing. My dad wanted me to have a career in something stable. He’s an actuary, my mum’s a dentist and they wanted me to have a secure career. Anything but music.’

‘So what happened?’ Lucinda asked intrigued by the impending confessional.

‘Did what I was told. Went to Oxford university.’

‘I’m surprised you didn’t bump into Beatrice. That’s where she went.’

‘Really, small world. Anyway, went to uni, got a degree in History and Economics, got a job in an investment bank and hated every single minute of it.’

‘You were a banker?’

‘Yep, an overworked, depressed, investment banker. I lasted three years and one day I woke up and said “I’m not doing this anymore. I want to make music.” So, I took voluntary redundancy and here I am.’