The Smartest Girl in the Room (13 page)

Emily sighed once she was back in the cold,
off to see another room she knew she wouldn’t be able to
afford.

Mitch walked back to Kyra’s apartment. He
tried to watch himself without judgment. Hadn’t he read that once
in some book on yoga he had picked up in a bookstore?
Yoga.
Didn’t she say
... stop thinking about yoga, he snapped to
himself.

That was his thought when he got to Kyra.
"Please, don’t just stand there," she said, pulling him in with
both hands. He let himself be pulled in. "Please let me make it up
to you." She kissed him, and before he knew it she was unbuttoning
his shirt, pulling him to bed, taking off his boots, pulling down
his pants and begging him to kiss her back. And he did.

Hours later, Kyra turned off the light. "I’m
so glad you’re here tonight," she said, wrapping her arms around
him. "I’ve wanted to wake up next to you for so long." He was
quiet, stroking her hair and looking up at the ceiling again. "Do
you think we’ll get to be this way in Ireland?"

"That’s the whole point, isn’t it?" He wasn’t
thinking.

"Do you think that’s all I want you for?"

"Have we done anything else?" Mitch
asked.

"Is that all you want me for?"

"I don’t think so, but you don’t seem to have
any interest in anything else. We never go out, or see other
people. Is there anything else we have in common?" Mitch said.

"Mitch... I’m sorry. But you know, we’ll be
able to ‘mingle’ more when we’re abroad. I’m hoping we’re in a lot
of the same classes together." She stroked his chest. "Yeah, you
can help me with my homework."

He was tired. "Okay, but you’re going to have
to do the tutoring on Irish literature, if you don’t mind."

"My pleasure." She kissed him and caressed
his face. "Are we going to be okay now?"

He nodded sleepily. "Yeah, we’ll be okay now.
Come on, I’ve got another final coming up that I don’t want to
blow. Let’s get some sleep." She snuggled into his arms and fell
asleep.

Wasn’t there something I was supposed to do?
He wondered before he drifted off.

~~~

Indeed, Emily hadn’t been able to afford any
of the rooms she saw. She returned to the library to get some
review time in before the last bus home.

She was sitting on the bus when her phone
rang. "Emily? Hi, it’s Drew. Sorry. Is it too late to call?"

"Not yet. What’s up?"

"I was wondering what you were doing
tomorrow? You know, aside from taking finals." He laughed at
himself again.

"Let’s see... I have one at ten, and then
another at one. What about you?"

"I should be free after one."

"Yeah, well, I’m going to be going at it
until two-thirty at least."

"Two in one day is pretty rough, man."

She smiled at the familiarity. "I’d be happy
to take my last one tomorrow if I could, but I have to wait until
Thursday for the pleasure."

"Well, maybe you can let me get you dinner in
between finals. I mean, the finals on Wednesday and Thursday."

No finessing out of that. That was
date-worthy. "What did you have in mind?"

"How does Legal Seafood sound?"

Too expensive. "No, that’s not going to work.
I’m a vegetarian," she said quickly.

"Oh... so what do you usually get?"

"Good old home cooking." She yawned. "But I
have been known to eat Indian."

"Hmm... I’m not too crazy about Indian. The
spiciness doesn’t agree with me."

"Sushi?"

"You eat fish?"

"No, but I’ve always been able to get
vegetable sushi." Plus it could usually be had pretty cheaply.

"Great! Where do you usually go?"

"How about Kaya? It’s on Boylston
Street."

"I think I know where that is. What
time?"

"How about six-thirty?"

"Sounds like a plan! See you then."

"Sounds good." She hung up, feeling her
breath seize up in her chest. Was that a big mistake?

Emily wrote the Great American Novel for her
ten AM final, or so she thought. She finished in time, but just
barely. She didn’t like that feeling of just making it, but took
some consolation that others were still working after the "pens
down" command of the professor. The professor, for his part, was
feeling generous and gave the stragglers an extra fifteen
minutes.

She warmed herself in the Math Lounge for
forty minutes and then walked to her final at one. That one was
significantly easier. She wasn’t done at two, but she did hand in
the exam by two-thirty with ease. She thanked the professor before
walking to the library to start to study for her last final.

She’d studied hard, but there were a few
things she still needed to get under her belt. She ground down,
murmured out loud, and began repeating to herself what she needed
to know. Before long... she had it. She looked at the clock. It was
five. She was done. She was ready.

She flipped her pen over and over again. Yep,
this was great. She was going to ace this quarter. Great. She
deserved to enjoy herself tonight with Drew and eat all of the
sushi she could stuff into her mouth. Right?

Nope. This wasn’t real. She still didn’t have
a place to stay at the end of the week, which was the day after
tomorrow. She hadn’t said much more than "excuse me" to her mother
since their argument, but she could tell that she was waiting for
her to apologize... for wanting books. She had already reserved her
books to the tune of four hundred and seventy-nine dollars, which
was just great because now she had even less money to give someone
for rent. And, oh yeah, let’s not forget utilities. The thought of
sushi became that much less appetizing.

She took the circuitous route to Boylston
Street, walking through Gainsborough and Hemenway before winding
back through the Reflecting Pool. She kept turning it over in her
mind. She was not going to apologize to her mother when there were
books, a love seat and high school on her side. It was going to be
impossible to find a job that would let her finish in two quarters.
She needed to finish in two quarters because she couldn’t be sure
her mother was going to stay any longer than that. She wasn’t going
to take out loans because she didn’t want them hanging over her
head after she graduated. She'd had something hanging over head
since before she could remember. She couldn’t tell Zainab...

She stopped. She couldn’t tell her best
friend who would probably love her company because she was too damn
proud to let her see how messed up her life was. No one understood
a messed up life if they didn’t have one themselves. Right?

She started walking again. It was time to
grow up at least that much. Zainab would understand, and help.
Zainab would probably be upset that Emily hadn’t already told
her.

Emily felt a tear roll down her cheek. It was
going to be okay. She was going to have dinner with Drew and enjoy
it. Then she was going to go home and go to sleep. She was going to
take her final the next day, have coffee with Zainab, tell her
everything, and then probably go home with her that night. It was
going to be okay.

Emily got to Kaya at 6:20. Chronically early.
She expected to wait in the lounge for fifteen minutes, but she was
surprised to find Drew sitting at the bar. "There you are!"

"How long have you been waiting?"

"I think about ten minutes."

"Didn’t we say six-thirty?"

"We did, but, you know," he grinned.

They were seated at their table. Drew picked
up his menu. "So… why did you suggest this place?"

She shrugged. "My dad took me here once when
I was little. He said it was one of the few places he felt like he
could get real Korean food, even if the name is Japanese."

Drew sipped his tea. "And why was authentic
Korean food important?"

"He was Korean. I mean, he is Korean.
Everyone can do bulgogi, he said, but this was one of the few
places that could get the chap chae just right."

"Bulgogi would be…?"

"The Korean-American national dish. Thin
strips of beef, garlic, scallions, ginger, sesame, soy, sugar,
lion, tigers, bears- oh my! Pretty much everyone likes it."

"Except you."

"Oh, no. I was a bulgogi champ. It was one of
the few ways I didn’t disappoint my father. Of course, when the
kimchi came out, it would be ‘how can you be Korean?’, but he got
that out of his system at the beginning of the meal."

"What’s kimchi and what’s wrong with it?"

"Nothing, now that I’m not eight anymore.
It’s spicy pickled cabbage, and it may very well be the Korean
national dish, but it was too much when I was little."

"Hmm."

The waitress brought out the green tea and
took their order. Emily ordered the vegetable sushi and miso soup
and Drew ordered the bulgogi and sushi.

"Yummy green tea, the latest superfood."

Drew frowned. "Superfood?"

Emily laughed. "You know, all that BS about
food that has more nutrients than almost anything else.
Blueberries, pomegranate, chocolate, soy, greens, yogurt. And then
people OD on them, and they’re surprised when they not only haven’t
cured themselves of… whatever, but they’ve also given themselves
something else." She drank more tea. "But it’s not all bad."

"You’re really into your health, aren’t
you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"No caffeine-"

"I’m clearly breaking that now."

"With green tea? Case in point. The
superfoods; the vegetarianism. Let me guess, you like yoga
too?"

"Yeah…?" She wasn’t going to mention that she
also loved Pilates.

"And have you cured yourself of whatever ails
you?"

"Nothing was wrong with me. But, yes, I’m
just fine now too."

"So why do you do it?"

"Do what, exactly?"

"You know- the whole healthy-girl thing. Are
you trying to stay thin?"

"Excuse me?"

"There’s a big problem with eating disorders
on college campuses," Drew said solemnly.

The food came. Drew started eating, but Emily
didn’t move. "What’s wrong?" Drew said after a moment.

Emily pushed her plate away. "I’ve lost my
appetite. It’s either because I’m trying to control my weight, make
myself the center of attention or you’re a big jerk."

Drew kept chewing as if she’d just said she
liked the color of the walls. "Why do you say that?"

"Are you kidding me? You’re telling me that I
have some kind of psychological problem because I’m a vegetarian
and I care about my health? Or that I’m a cliché?"

"I’ve obviously struck a nerve."

"Yes you have. Most people don’t like
insulting, manipulative jerks, at least not on the first date."

"Jerk? Do you have anything more
original?"

"No, but that’s your fault, because you’re
the cliché here. You’re the one who must have been stuffed in his
locker all through middle school and high school, and you probably
never learned how to say hello without having to pretend you were
better than everyone else. I hate to break this to you, but you’re
not better than anyone. In fact, I bet you’re not even that good,
and I don’t care what colleges you got into but couldn’t afford."
Emily stood up and put on her coat.

Drew put his fork down. "Where are you
going?"

"Home to my rice cakes, vegetable broth and
carrot salad before I throw it all up. Tonight it’s not going to be
a problem because I will just make myself sick thinking how stupid
I was to go anywhere with you."

Drew turned pink. "Can we start over? I-"

"Yeah… no!"

Before he could get up, she walked to the
front door and into the cold air.

She walked to Arlington station. She was mad
and annoyed, but she felt alive. She’d been itching for a good
fight, and she was almost grateful to Drew for giving her one. Not,
however, grateful enough to answer his call.

She stormed past her mother and stepfather
and slammed her door. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.
This time she didn’t see stars, but those things were overrated
anyway.

Emily’s final was at ten the next morning.
She was out of the house by seven. Once she got to school, she
called Zainab, asking if she could meet her for tea again. "Sure.
How’s it going with Drew?"

"Ugh! Why do we deviate from our first
impressions? I foolishly went to dinner with him last night, and it
ended early."

"Why?"

"Because I’m a vegetarian who likes yoga. And
I’m thin."

"Okay, random! What time is your final
over?"

"Done by twelve. What about you?"

"I think I’m out by two-thirty. So how does
three sound?"

"Same Bat time, same Bat channel?"

"You need to watch less old television. I’ll
see you at our usual hangout. Good luck!"

"You too!" Emily hung up then went to the
library for forty-five minutes before she walked to her final.

It was a little bit more involved, but she
was out by eleven-thirty. She thanked the professor, left the
building and threw up her arms. "I’m done!" she shouted. Several
people gave her a thumbs up or smiled, and some sneered. Most
walked by unfazed.

She had another three hours until she needed
to meet with Zainab. She laughed to herself for no good reason and
started walking down Huntington Ave. She was going to window shop
at Copley and the Pru. She was going to sit in bookstores and read
idiot self-help and exercise books. She was going to do whatever
she wanted for the next three hours because she could.

"Emily!"

She froze, and then turned around.
"Drew?"

He ran up to her. "I have been calling and
calling you!"

"Uh huh? I guess I didn’t get those because I
put you on my block list."