The Smartest Girl in the Room (12 page)

"I do! And you know you should come see it
sometime. What are you doing tomorrow?"

She took a deep breath. "Shopping."

"Shopping?"

"Of sorts."

"Well, maybe when you’re done you can pay me
a visit?"

"I have to see where I am with my exams but
maybe later this week." Why not?

Emily called Zainab once Drew left. "Do not
lecture me about finals right now!"

"Bad friend that I am, that wasn’t why I
called. Are you around tomorrow morning?"

On Tuesday morning, Mitch handed in his last
paper. He had a rough test ahead of him that afternoon and then
another one on Thursday, but then he was done. It was ten-thirty.
He looked at his watch and decided he needed a good walk to clear
his head. Fifteen minutes later, he realized that he was walking
towards Kyra’s. He grinned. His test wasn’t for another three
hours, and he had studied hard. He could take a little break.

Mitch climbed the stairs to her floor and
knocked on her door. He heard her running to open it. "Hey you!"
she said as she opened the door. "Oh!"

He kissed her. "Were you expecting someone
else?"

She pulled away. "Actually, yeah, my friend
Sarah is coming over. We were going to do a little shopping before
our next test."

"When is that? I’ve got a test at two which I
should be done with at four, but then I’m-"

Kyra shook her head. "Today isn’t a good day.
I’ve got to cram for my final tomorrow."

Mitch leaned against the doorway. "But you’ve
got enough time to go shopping?"

She threw up her hands. "I’ve had this
planned for a while."

"Uh huh." Her shoes were off, and she wasn’t
dressed to go out. She was in silky pajamas, but her hair was still
a little damp from a recent shower. "And when is she coming
over?"

"In, like, ten minutes."

He decided to be brave even if it made him
sick. "And you’re in a big rush, right? The sooner I leave the
better?"

Kyra closed her eyes. "Mitch-"

"Jesus Christ, how stupid do I look?" He
stormed off and headed for the stairway. As he stalked down the
stairs, he heard Kyra calling his name.

When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he
saw a clean cut blonde man in the lobby. "Of course."

The other man looked puzzled. "Excuse
me?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

Mitch started walking towards Newbury Street,
but he had no idea where he was going.

Two minutes later, his phone rang. His first
inclination was to smash it, but it occurred to him that it might
be difficult to replace before he had to leave. He hit Ignore and
kept walking. It rang again. And again. After the fifth cycle, he
picked up.

"What?"

"Let me explain."

"I think I got it. Sorry, that’s not my
scene, and I don’t like looking like a fool."

"I don’t think you’re a fool." He could hear
the tears in her voice. "You don’t understand. I’ve been with Todd
since I got here."

Mitch hadn’t thought he could feel worse, but
that did it. "And when were you going to mention that?"

"I... I don’t know." She sniffled. "I thought
everything was okay with him, but then I met you. I didn’t think...
I didn’t plan any of this."

"Congratulations, but you still let it
happen."

"God, do you think I am proud of any of
this?" She was sobbing now. "Todd has been everything for me, but
I’ve never felt the way I do about you. I didn’t know what to
do."

"You wanted to eat your cake and have it,
too. And maybe you can, but not with me. Goodbye Kyra." He hung up
the phone and walked to the university, trying to shut off his
brain. When he did hear himself thinking, it was How could I have
been so stupid? and I’ve been a fool.

He looked at his watch. Somehow he had
wandered around for so long that it was now one. How was he
supposed to take this final now? His brain was screaming, but he
made it back to the university and to the class he needed to get to
by one-forty-five. Just get through the next two hours. He was
calmed down and ready to go when his phone rang. He shut off the
phone, but his head was pounding. When the professor passed out the
test five minutes later, he was on another plane. By two-fifteen he
was ready to start, but it was slow going. At four he was only
half-way through the last question when the proctor ordered pens
down. Feeling nauseous, he handed in his test and stalked off.

The tears started to flow as soon as he hit
the cold air. All of the little pieces fit into place now. The
passionate quickies, the air of naughtiness, the polite rush out
the door, all clicked. He scoffed at his earlier observations that
he was lucky she wasn’t clingy. How the Hell was he going to get
through this stupid trip now?

"Mitch?" He turned around. It took him a
moment to recognize Miranda from the Hillel.

She put her hand on his arm. "Is everything
okay?"

"I’m such an idiot," he whispered.

"It didn’t go so well with girl number
two?"

He laughed and wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that. It turns out I was ‘the other
guy.’ I guess that’s what I get, huh?"

"I'm so sorry. But everything can be fixed.
You have to believe that. Maybe this is a sign."

"Boy, you really are pretty religious,
huh?"

"Whatever you want to call it. I think you
needed an opportunity, now you have one. Do the right thing, even
if it’s hard." She looked at her watch. "I’ve got to go, but you
can fix this."

He stumbled to a bench. He had been trying to
not think it the whole time he walked to class and even while
taking his final. What a fool he had been to let something good go
so he could take something easy. He turned on his phone. He could
fix it right now.

He looked at his phone. What was he going to
say? What could he say that wouldn’t make him sound like the idiot
he was? Maybe he should wait a few days, when he didn’t look so
desperate. Then his brain started screaming again. He was going to
leave next week. It was now or never.

He took a deep breath and prepared to dial.
Then the phone rang. It was Kyra. He let it ring three times before
he answered it. "What?" he said dully.

"Please tell me you can talk now." There was
a catch in her voice, but she wasn't crying.

"You’re done with your other toy
already?"

"That isn’t what I think of you."

"What do you think?" he hissed. "Was I going
to be your distraction while you were in Ireland, and then we’d get
back and you’d come up with some excuse to break it off? How long
were you going to play me?"

"I don’t- I wasn’t trying to play you. God,
Mitch, I fell in love with you. I am in love with you."

"Oh really? But not in love enough that you
could tear yourself away from Todd, right? This is crap and you
know it. You would have had us both hanging on a string if I hadn’t
surprised you today."

"I didn’t know what to do." She was crying
again. "I didn’t want to hurt either of you, okay? I am in love
with you, but Todd has been with me through so much. I didn’t want
to cut his heart out, but I just did. I broke it off with him."
Silence. "Did you hear me? I broke it off with him. There is only
you now."

Mitch took a deep breath and looked up at the
ceiling. "Mitch! Please say something."

"You broke it off, or he broke it off?"

"I broke it off. I couldn’t do this anymore.
I... I want to be with you, okay? Just you."

It hurt his head to think. "Fine," he said.
This time he knew it was the easy choice.

He could hear her sigh. "Mitch, please come
back."

"I just killed myself in one final and I’ve
got another one tomorrow. This is too much right now."

"Please, let me make it better."

"If I come over now, I need to stay. I mean
it, I’m pretty drained right now."

"Of course," she said breathlessly. "Just
come back."

"Fine. I’ll be over in a little while." He
hung up and looked at his phone for a very long time. This was easy
only because something else was harder.

~~~

Ten minutes after Mitch had stomped past
Gainsborough Street on his way to his final, Emily walked into
Princess Cappuccino to meet Zainab. "So," Emily said, putting down
her bag, "how are finals going? Should I be sorry I let you slip
from my clutches?" She would much rather have been riding Zainab
this week than apartment hunting.

"Ugh! I’ll pass, but with humiliation. Do
they give that out?"

Emily sank into her chair. "You have no
idea."

"Oh my God, are you trying to tell me that
there was a class you didn’t ace?"

"Believe it or not, there are worse forms of
humiliation." Zainab raised her eyebrows, but Emily waved it off.
"Some other time, I promise." It was so hard for her not to break
down and cry. "That wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about."

"All ears."

"I think Drew likes me."

"Was that not obvious?"

"Yeah, okay, but... I don’t know how I feel
about it."

"Meaning you’re not as disgusted by the idea
as you were before?"

"I think ‘disgusted’ is a strong word, but
let’s say I don’t find it as amusing as I did before."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I... I don’t know. I guess I’ve been talking
to him more and he seems less dorky."

"And not being dorky has always been a great
reason to date someone." Zainab put her hand on her chin. "Since
when have you had such low standards?"

"Since I got a taste of what not being lonely
looked like, I guess."

Zainab reached her hand out to Emily. "Do you
want my permission? Are you asking me to tell you something else?
Because..." she took a deep breath. "Mitch is gone, or just about.
He’s going to Ireland."

"To live?" Then she would never, ever have to
worry about seeing him again.

"I don’t think so. I think it’s just one of
the exchange programs. He’s gone for three months."

"Congratulations. But what does that have to
do with me?"

"I don’t think he’s alone." Zainab wasn’t
looking at Emily. "I think he’s seeing someone."

Emily set her jaw when Zainab looked back at
her. "Once again, congratulations."

"All I’m trying to say is... if you’re
waiting on something, if you think something is going to change...
don’t. Just- do whatever you have to do."

It had made Emily blush last week to think
about how he had made her feel and the things she’d told him. But
not now. "He’s irrelevant."

Zainab waited a moment. "I think he is, too.
Or if he isn’t, he should be."

Emily was going to forget all about him.
"Glad we're on the same page- about him. But my Drew issue is still
unresolved."

"What are you trying to do? Write up some
script that the two of you have to follow? Why don’t you just see
what happens?"

"I don’t need a script, just a map. I have to
decide how far I want this to go."

"Don’t you need to know how you feel about
him first?"

"I guess," Emily mumbled. "I guess I don’t
know what I feel."

"He is pretty cute," Zainab offered.

"He is," Emily conceded. "Tall, blond,
blue-eyed. He’s the great trifecta, right? But I think he’s a
little too tall."

"How tall are you?"

"Five foot five."

"How tall is he?"

"I don’t know. He’s definitely cleared six
feet. I think we might be closer to six foot three there."

"Yeah, that’s a little bit much."

"You might have better luck. You’re what,
five foot seven?"

"Yeah, but the chemistry isn’t there."

Emily looked from side to side. "You think
there’s chemistry between me and him?"

"Yes! He was totally into you, and you know
you were kind of into that."

"It’s nice to have someone like you, but
shouldn’t you like them just as much?"

"Is that what’s getting to you? That he likes
you more than you like him?"

"Maybe. It just doesn’t seem fair."

Zainab laughed out loud. "Are you sure you’ve
dated before? I don’t know anyone else who agonizes over ‘fair’
before a first date."

"I know what it’s like to be the one getting
the emotional shaft. I don’t want to be the one giving it."

"What brings this up all of a sudden?"

"I think he’s going to ask me to do something
with him this week, and I’m not sure what I should say. I don’t
want to lead him on."

"You know, pizza and soda don’t always lead
to a marriage proposal."

"No, but... I don’t want there to be any
misunderstandings."

"So tell him that upfront."

"That pizza equals pizza, nothing more?"

"And that beverages don’t get any extra
privileges."

"Why do you think I always try to buy my own
tea?" They both laughed, and talked about Zainab’s finals for a few
more minutes. Emily looked at her watch and sighed. "I’ve got to
go."

"Where?"

"I need to do a little shopping."

"It’s about time! But I don’t think the
thrift stores are closing that soon."

"Don’t mock my thrift shops." Especially now.
"And on a completely unrelated topic, are you coming to Jessie’s
Christmas party? She’s already texted me five times about it
today."

"I can’t. Mummy and Daddy are demanding my
presence for Christmas. I’m leaving on Sunday after I have a chance
to drown my finals sorrows."

"Then please text her back. I’m not your
social secretary."

"Fine, fine, fine. But you’d better give me
frequent updates. I want to know how things go with Drew."

"I promise. All of the gory details as they
develop- and right before I ask you about your finals."

Zainab threw her head back and pretended to
cry. "Okay- bye!"