The Smell of Apples: A Novel (22 page)

When we get to Groote Schuur, we first have to find out where to find the Coloured section. Once we find it, we stand around at the reception desk, waiting for someone to help us. There's no one else in the waiting room. Use

Mark Behr

says she wonders where Doreen is because she was meant to be here waiting for us at reception.

Mum rings the bell. While we're waiting, Mum tells us that this isn't the time or place for us to ask poor Doreen exactly how the accident happened. Doreen's probably so exhausted that for us to expect her to tell the whole horrible story would be completely insensitive.

The place smells like a hospital and there are long corridors disappearing in all directions. I wonder if Chris Barnard is here somewhere doing a heart transplant. This section of the hospital looks smaller and darker than the way I remember Ouma Erasmus's section. I wonder where all the doctors are, because everything looks so quiet here. I wonder if there are Coloured doctors or whether white doctors have to operate on the Coloureds. After a while, a Coloured matron arrives and asks if she can help us. Mum says we've come to see one of the patients. The matron asks who the patient is. Mum says it's a boy that got severely burned in Beaufort West. Him and his mother arrived here this afternoon by ambulance. The matron says they have too many casualties to simply know who it is, she needs the patient's name.

Mum says his name is Neville. The matron looks at Mum as if she's still waiting for something. Then she asks: 'And his surname? What is the patient's surname?'

Mum says she doesn't know.

Then Use says: 'It's Malan. His name is Neville Malan, and his mother is Mrs Doreen Malan.' I never knew there were also Coloured Malans, and I wonder how Use knew what Doreen's surname is. The matron looks into her register, then says we can follow her, even though it's not really the visiting hour.

Doreen is standing next to his bed. She looks up, and walks over to meet us. She's looking so old. Mum asks her

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how Little-Neville is. Doreen says the worst danger is over, but the burns are very bad. She says his whole back, his bum and his legs are completely covered in burns. He'll have to stay in hospital for two months. She says burns like these take very long to heal and even after they've healed the marks will stay there for ever.

Mum asks Doreen how she s feeling, and she answers that she has cried out all her tears and now she's just accepting that it happened and nothing can be done to change it. Mum says that's really the only way to deal with such a terrible tragedy. As long as Doreen remains strong in her faith, and as long as she knows that everything happens for some greater reason, it will be easier to cope with the pain. Mum says Doreen must just always remember the bitter trials of Job and how he always kept his faith in the will of God.

The bed is covered with a big plastic sheet that looks like a tent. Little-Neville is lying on his stomach. There are tubes inside his nose and his eyes are shut. Doreen says he's asleep because the long trip by ambulance was very tiring.

He's completely naked and his arms are tied to the bed with strips of plastic to stop him from scratching the burns. His legs are drawn wide apart so that they won't rub together. Between his thighs, across his bum and all over his back it looks like a big piece of raw liver.

The medicines and the ointments and everything smell too terrible, and I put my hand over my nose. I don't want to see any more. I move away to look out of the window.

The sun has set and the Cape Flats are covered in a red glow. There are red clouds across the whole sky up to the Hottentots-Holland, and it's as if there's a fire burning in heaven. It looks like the night Dad and I were at the top of Sir Lowry's Pass. Dad says the whole of the Cape Flats

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used to be one big stretch of marshland. It took decades of work to dry out the marshes. Right up to the hills at Kuilsriver the government filled in the marshland to make place for more people to live. That's how we tamed the wilderness.

Behind me I can hear Doreen telling Mum and Use that the doctors can't cover Little-Neville's back because the burns have to dry out. She says she's so sorry that we have to see her child in this state. I turn away from the window to look at her. I think she's going to start crying because her lips are twitching. Mum puts her arm around Doreen's shoulder and says she must try and be strong.

With my hand still slightly over my nose, I look down at Little-Neville's face. I try not to see his back. I think he looks a bit like Doreen, but his skin is darker and shinier than hers. His hair is shaved very short. He looks older than ten, but you can't really tell with the Coloureds. They all look the same. I stare at him for a long time and see that he definitely looks like Doreen. He has her round cheeks and the same little tip on his upper lip. With all the plasters holding down the tubes, I can't really see his nose. But his chin is square and Doreen's is more pointy. Frikkie says Doreen looks like Liewe Heksie, but I can see clearly that Little-Neville is Doreen's child.

We say goodbye to Doreen in the ward. Use gives her the plastic Checkers bag and Mum takes a ten-rand note from her purse. She tells Doreen it's for Christmas and that Doreen must phone us at Sedgefield if there's anything we can help with. Mum says Doreen must be strong and always know that we'll be taking her and Little-Neville along in our prayers. We're united in prayer, even though we're apart from each other. When Use embraces Doreen, they both start crying and I can see Doreen is struggling to stay on her feet. After a while Mum puts her hand on

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Use's shoulder and says we should really be leaving, even though it's so difficult.

No one speaks in the car and Mum doesn't turn on the tape player as usual. Later, when we're almost home, Use says:

'I think it's better if he dies.'

'My child!' Mum says. 'How on earth can you say something like that?' Mum and I are completely shocked to hear what Use said.

'Mummy, just imagine what he's going to feel like once he starts remembering what happened to him. Think of how he's going to hate white people.'

'My dear Use, how can you speak like this?' Mum asks. 'The Bible teaches us about all these things. You've just been confirmed and yet you speak like someone who has never set foot in a confirmation class. We are taught to forgive and forget, never to repay evil with evil. If everyone in this country could just live the way the Bible tells . . .'

'People can't eat Bibles,' Use interrupts, and for a moment it feels like Mum's going to overturn the Beetle from the way she swerves across the road.

'Now you keep quiet, Use!'

That's all Mum says, and we drive the rest of the way home in silence.

I'm carrying my suitcase down the stairs as Dad comes in through the front door. I hear him speaking to Mum at the bottom of the passage. He's saying Mister Smith will be staying over at the Van der Westhuizens' tonight. Brigadier Van der Westhuizen will be visiting Chile next year and tonight he'll have the opportunity to find out more about the country and its people.

I watch Dad walking down the passage in his uniform. In one hand he has his briefcase, and in the other the

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sports bag he uses for civilian clothes. He stops when he sees me standing on the bottom step. For a while we stare at each other. Then he asks:

'Don't I get a kiss tonight?'

I put the suitcase down in the passage, and walk over to him. Mum's standing in the kitchen door wearing her red dressing-gown and looking at us. When I get to him I stop and look up into his face. It looks like he's been in the sun, because his face is red. He stares down at me, and I look down at the floor. He quickly bends forward and kisses me. He smiles and asks whether I'm getting bored with the holiday yet. I say no, I'm not bored. I keep looking at the floor.

I carry the suitcase into their bedroom to put it down with the others. Use comes in and gives Dad a kiss. Mum comes in and starts packing the last few things into the suitcases on the bed. She asks Dad whether he's been in the sun, because his face is tanned. Dad says he's been walking around in the sun on the west coast all day, looking at sites. Earlier this evening they had a meeting with the Minister.

Dad says I can have a quick shower with him. Mum asks whether Mister Smith enjoyed his stay with us, and Dad says Mister Smith asked him to thank Mum again for everything. He's also sorry he didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye to me, but with Frikkie and I being fast asleep when he left last night, he didn't want to wake me up.

Dad and I get undressed in the bathroom. He puts down his sports bag next to the washing basket in the corner. When we're both naked he gets into the shower. Before I can get in, he puts his head through the shower curtain and says I should have a look in his sports bag -Mister Smith sent a surprise for all of us.

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I unzip the old leather bag and see four parcels wrapped in gift paper on top of Dad's clothes. The heaviest one has Dad's name written on top. There's a tiny one for Mum, and a flat longish one for Use. Mine is a small rectangular parcel. Dad sticks his head from the shower again, and says:

'Why don't we wait a bit, my boy. Then we can open them together when we've finished showering. Put them on the bed with Mum.'

I wrap a towel round my waist and carry the parcels into the bedroom and put them down on the bed.

'Gifts!' Mum cries. 'Who are they from, Marnus?'

'From the General, Mum.'

'Mister Smith, you mean, my boy!'

I walk back into the bathroom.

'Are you coming, Marnus?' Dad says from under the shower. 'I'm almost finished.'

'I'd rather go and have a bath, Dad,' I answer, and pick up my clothes from the floor.

Dad puts his head around the curtain and asks: 'Since when do you bath when you can have a shower?'

I look up at his wet hair and the water dripping from his face.

'The grazes on my knees, Dad. They sting when I shower.' Dad looks at me in a funny way, then he nods his head and draws it back into the shower.

While I'm sitting in the hot bath looking at the scabs on my knees, I think about everything that's happened in the last few days. Everything changed since the General came to our house. Nothing is the same any more. Use bangs at the bathroom door and calls that Dad wants us to come and open the presents.

I sit down on the bed with Use and Dad. Mum is still packing. She comes over and sits down with us amongst

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the suitcases on the bed. Dad says Mum should open her gift first. She pulls a funny face at Use and starts unwrapping her parcel. On the inside there's a small box with two tiny earrings in the shape of blossoms with green stones. Mum says it's a wonderful gift and the stones go with her eyes. Dad says she should put them on so that we can see what they look like. Mum goes to the mirror to put them into her ears. When she's done, she holds her hair up behind her head to show us.

Use's gift is a big piece of cloth covered with bright patterns. It looks like a tablecloth or something to hang against a wall. The patterns are of dancing women and Use says she'd actually like to make a dress from the material. Dad says the cloth is a very special kind of art that's done by the women in Chile. It's woven from lama's hair. Use walks over to the mirror and drapes the cloth around her shoulders. She crosses the carpet and does some dance movements so we can all see she's very happy about the gift.

When Dad says I can open mine now; I say he can open his first. His is the heavy one. It's a long flat box and when he opens the clips, there's a shiny silver pistol lying on top of a light blue velvet cloth. Dad blows through his lips and says it's Chilean-made, and he doesn't think there's another like it in the whole of South Africa. He strokes the barrel. Then he picks it up and holds it towards the door, because one never points the barrel of a gun at someone -even when it isn't loaded.

After he has put the pistol back into its flat box, Dad says it's my turn to open my gift.

I pick up the little packet. It doesn't feel heavy.

I don't want to open it. I don't want anything from the General and I hate Dad. I know now that it wasn't Use's reflection in the mirror last night, and I knew all along that it wasn't a dream.

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'Come, come,' says Mum. 'Open up so that we can see, Marnus!'

I pull at the sellotape and the paper slowly comes undone beneath my hand. Inside the paper are two rectangular objects. I can't make out what they are, at first.

Dad leans across and looks into the packet: 'They're epaulettes. They must be his epaulettes . . .'

I look down at the red things on the paper in my hand. I don't want to touch them. They're made of red material and all around the sides they're embroidered with little golden leaves. In the centre, also embroidered in gold, there are two big stars with five sharp points.

Mum says I must hold them up so that we can all see. Dad says it's a great honour when a General gives someone his epaulettes. He says I must have really impressed Mister Smith for him to give me such a special gift.

It's Use who suggests that I put on my camouflage suit so that we can fit the epaulettes on to the shoulders. I shake my head and say I don't feel like getting changed. But now Dad also says I should go and change into the camouflage suit. He'll help me to fasten the epaulettes with their little screws. I look at Mum, but she also says I should go.

I go upstairs and take the suit from its coat-hanger in the cupboard. Last year Frikkie and I both got one when Dad came back from overseas. I change and go back downstairs.

Dad is looking at the pistol again, and Mum and Use are looking at the cloth with the dancers.

He sees me standing in the doorway, and says I must come closer to him so that he can fit on the epaulettes. I move forward a few paces, but come to a standstill. I stare at the pistol in his hands.

'Come closer, my boy,' he says, picking up the