The Soldier's Lotus (13 page)

The penetration was almost more than she could bear, and
the pain tinted her pleasure so much that she could not breathe.
Savior, master, lover.
Darien, Darien, Darien.
She
could not speak, and her thoughts flew apart. She could not concentrate on
anything beyond what her Darien did to her. He broke her and remade her in
whatever image he wished, and she had no other desire than that this should be
so.

“
Come,
Saeri
.” Darien had a hand around her throat.
When had
that happened?
“Come now!”

She obeyed, and as she floated into the white spaces of the
stars she felt Darien’s cock pulsing, filling her with his hot seed.

“
Are you all right, my
love?”

Saerileth was not sure how much time had passed, but she
was safe, cradled in Darien’s arms, lying on a bed. But the bed was not wet. It
was not Darien’s bed; it was hers.

“
How did we get here?”
she asked. Her voice was hoarse.

“
I carried you.” He
kissed her forehead, and she saw the slight fear in his eyes. He was worried
about her, worried he had hurt her.

“
I am fine, beloved.”
She traced his cheek with her forefinger.
“Truly.
You
did not hurt me.”

“
But
your throat?”
Darien
caressed her skin. “It’s bruised.”

“
I am fine,” she said
again. “The bruises are mild. It was my screams that have made my voice rough.”

“
Well, those I am not
sorry for.” Darien’s concern melted away into love, love like an ocean she swam
in. “You seemed to enjoy what I did.”

“
I loved it.”
Saerileth nestled more closely against him.

“
You are mine,
Saerileth,” said Darien as he held her. “And no one keeps my love from what is
owed her. I will go tomorrow to the Royal Hall of Records. If the king ordered
the strike on the
Kesandrahn
clan, the records will
be there. We are
Sunjaa
.” He clearly must have seen
her objection before she voiced it. “Yes,
Saeri
, I
have – or can get with enough coin – access to the appropriate tablets, and,
yes, they would have records.”

Saerileth smiled and kissed Darien’s broad chest. “You
would do this for me?”

“
I would do anything
and everything for you. I love you.” He pressed his lips to her disheveled
hair. “But if it were an attack sanctioned by the king, then why did Ulen not
execute me?”

Saerileth blinked at the sudden leap in his thoughts. “What
do you mean?”

“
I have tried not to
think about that day, and I left the navy because of it. I could not serve
under Ulen
Ahnok
ever again. I transferred to the
army. But Ulen had me flogged.”

Saerileth ran her fingers over Darien’s scars, worshiping
them, as he went on.

“
That is the
punishment for insubordination aboard ship, not for disobeying an order on the
battlefield.”

“
It makes no sense,”
said Saerileth.

“
I will learn the
truth of it.” Darien kissed her brow, and Saerileth knew that that was the seal
on his promise.

****

Saerileth sat on the balcony that overlooked the courtyard.
The early morning breeze was warm, and it ruffled the linen of her
Sunjaa
gown. She smiled. Darien had already gone to the
Royal Hall of Records. She sipped her mug of cool milk, washing down the taste
of the herbs she took daily.

“
Lotus?”

Saerileth looked up to see
Aneke
,
flanked by the other two younger concubines, come out onto the balcony.

“
Yes,
Aneke
?”
Saerileth’s smile lost its mirth as she looked at the
concubine. This woman had coupled with her Darien.

“
I came to tell you
that I am on my menses.”
Aneke
twisted her fingers
together. “So I cannot go to the master’s bed tonight.”

“
I had no intention of
sending you.” Saerileth rose from the low chair and reentered the harem wing.
She went to the cabinet where the concubines’ records were kept. In this only,
it seemed, had
Lia
behaved properly, and Saerileth
knew exactly why.

“
And why wouldn’t you
send her?” As if Saerileth’s thought had conjured her,
Lia
entered the common area of the harem wing. “Why not send me?”

“
I am chief
concubine.” Saerileth’s voice was ice. “It is my decision – and mine alone –
who shall go to please the master.”

“
You’re a selfish
little cunt!”
Lia’s
accented
Sunjaa
speech echoed through the room, and the other three concubines stared at her.

Saerileth tilted her head slightly. “Kneel and beg my
pardon,
Lia
.” Then Saerileth switched to the
Vadal
tongue. “If you do not, I shall tell the others
exactly what you have done.”

Lia’s
eyes, small and grey, widened at the threat. “You can’t—”

“
Beg my pardon.”
Saerileth reverted to
Sunjaa
.

Lia
knelt before Saerileth, and her hatred radiated from her
like sunlight off the sea. “Forgive me.”

“
Lotus,” said
Saerileth.

“
Forgive me, Lotus.”

“
You may
rise
,
Lia
.” Saerileth had been
writing while
Lia
had knelt, and now Saerileth turned
with a bright smile to
Aneke
. “Your menses have been
entered into the record. Do not forget to tell me when they end.”

Aneke
nodded, and Saerileth saw at once that the woman wished to
speak. Fear, however, stopped her tongue.

“
Ask what you will,
Aneke
.” Saerileth was aware of
Lia
glowering in the corner but gave no outward sign.

“
Lia
says that you won’t let the master have any of
us anymore.”
Aneke’s
eyes glowed with the last
emotion Saerileth would have expected – hope.

“
That is correct.”
Saerileth judged it best that they should know how matters stood. “He wishes to
have me only.”

“
Thank you, Lotus!”
Aneke
smiled.

“
Why?” Saerileth knew
what
Aneke
would say but needed to hear it.
Otherwise, how could Saerileth believe that anyone would willingly be apart
from Darien?

“
Because … because
he’s too big. He tries to be gentle, but it hurts.”
Aneke’s
gaze rested on Saerileth’s waist, and she knew that the bruise in the shape of
Darien’s hand was visible through the translucent linen.

“
Lotuses have training
to handle such things. Now you three should go to your studies. I must speak
with
Lia
alone.”

As the others disappeared, giggling, Saerileth turned back
to
Lia
.

“
You are a little
cunt,” said
Lia
again.
“A vicious,
poisonous little whore.”

“
Be careful of the
accusation of poison.” Saerileth patted the book wherein she had just entered
Aneke’s menses. “You, after all, are the
poisoner
.”

Lia’s
mouth worked. “You can’t prove anything!”

“
Please, behave
yourself.” Saerileth flipped over the pages. “You have kept this for eight
years only, that is, only since another concubine joined you. You did not keep
track yourself during the four years you had the master to yourself.”

“
There was no need.”
Lia
shrugged, but she made a slight movement toward the
book.

“
You are correct.
There was no need because you cannot bear a child.” Saerileth gestured to the
other woman’s abdomen. “I have seen such scars before, and I have seen, too,
the records you have kept for yourself. After the first year, your menses
became absolutely regular, without a day’s variance, and they have been that
way for the past seven years.”

“
So?”

“
So that is
impossible. Aside from the fact that no one’s menses are so perfect, you have
marked yourself and two of the others ill with influenza, and their menses were
affected. Yours were not – because yours are imaginary. You have pretended, but
you have not bled in seven years. You are only forty now, are you not?”

Lia
nodded, seemingly more from shock than from any other
motive.

“
Three and thirty is
early to lose your blood, but not uncommon when the womb has been so badly
injured as yours was.”

“
Kanfiran
eat your eyes!”
Lia
spat the curse. “How did you know?”

“
I have seen such
scars before,” said Saerileth again. “You had a child who ripped your womb, did
you not?”

Lia’s
hands shook, and she reached for the book. Saerileth
stepped lightly away from the older woman.

“
If you could not give
the master a child, you resolved that no one should.” Saerileth appraised
Lia
. There was no love in her, only anger and fear. “You
feared losing your place as chief concubine. If Darien should have a child,
that child’s mother would have first place in his house.”

Lia
went perfectly still, and terror filled her eyes. “You’re
a witch.”

“
No,
only observant.”
Saerileth
tapped the book again. “You were careful to send them to the master’s bed only
when their wombs were dry, only when they could not conceive. Why did you fail
with
Aneke
?”

“
The master had
returned unexpectedly, and he was drunk. He did not leave me to choose; he
simply grabbed the hand of the first girl to pass him by.”

“
And how did you hide
what you had done afterward?”

“
He wasn’t here, and
Aneke
herself didn’t know.”
Lia
made a desperate lunge for the book, but Saerileth caught
Lia’s
arm and twisted it behind her back.

“
She thought only that
she bled early.” Saerileth understood.
Lia
had given
Aneke
tea like the kind Saerileth had poured out onto the
floor her first day here, an
abortifacient
tea, and
Aneke
had lost the child Darien had given her.

“
You are leaving,”
said Saerileth. “All of you. I am sending you to the Master’s upriver property.
There you will be able to live as you did here before I came.”

“
I won’t go.”
Lia
set her jaw, despite the hold Saerileth had on her arm.

“
If you argue or make
any sort of fuss, I shall tell the master
exactly
what you have done.”
Saerileth released
Lia
. “Now go. I will have
Aben
tell the others.”

Lia
did not turn back to face Saerileth, but the Lotus knew
that
Lia
would obey.

Saerileth closed her eyes and sat down gingerly. If it were
up to her, she would sell all four of the concubines. The very sight of them
made her sick with jealousy. But that would make Darien unhappy. He had rescued
these women to give them a better life, and what better life could there be
than belonging to Darien? But they would not be suitable concubines. She knew
that, and she was glad of it. They would never be sufficiently polished to do
him credit, but if they were safely placed on his upriver property, they could
live in peace. They would be spoiled as Darien had always spoiled them, with
too much liberty and not enough responsibility, but there they could not bring
him discredit. Nor, Saerileth admitted to herself, could they couple with him.

She permitted herself to fidget. The anal plug she was
wearing was larger than she was comfortable with, but it was the necessary
first step. She had noticed the way Darien had touched her ass, and she
recognized it. He wanted to penetrate her ass, but it was impossible. There was
no way that she could bear his entry. He was simply far too large. But there
were ways around everything, and Saerileth was not a full-blown Red Lotus for
nothing. With sufficient practice and a gradual increase in the size of the
plugs, she would be able to take him. She could hardly wait to give him that
gift of herself.