The Space Between (9 page)

“She’s amazing, isn’t she?”
 

“Yes. It’s like she knew my mind better than I do.” The young girls grinned in agreement. They both looked towards the back, as the heels of Gwen’s shoes clicked on the parquet floor. She was carrying a small bag in her hand.

“Here, this will help,” Gwen said, as she held it out for Georgia to take. It was a shiny mesh sachet filled with herbs. What it was for, she wasn’t certain.

“It’s tea, dear. My own special brew, just for you. Steep it for ten minutes and drink it before bedtime. It will help you sleep, and when you wake you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

Georgia’s brow furrowed in confusion. What was she looking for? Then it dawned on her.

 
“Contentment?”

“Perhaps, and not right away, but I promise you
will
see things differently when you wake.”

“Thank you, what do I owe you? For the tea?”

“It’s my gift to you.” Gwen’s warm smile grew wider as she looked into Georgia’s eyes. She lifted her hand and tapped on Georgia’s temple, three times, so quick and light she’d almost missed it, then cupped her cheek. “Peace be with you, my dear.”

Georgia clutched it tightly and thanked them both.
 

She walked in a daze back to her car and when she put the key in the ignition she realized she forgot to get directions to the bakery. “Damn.” She hit the steering wheel and huffed. Looking at the clock she knew it would have to wait. She hadn’t accomplished what she’d set out to when she’d left the house. That should have upset her, but when she gauged her emotions she felt calm and unbothered.
 

The smell coming from the herbs was soothing. She placed it under her nose and closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply. Chamomile, a hint of lemon, as well as a few others she couldn’t name. She wasn’t sure how tea would help her situation, but a hot cup before bed did sound nice.

She gave one more glance in her rearview as she pulled out onto the main road. The old man had left his rocker and the town was as deserted as ever. Georgia mulled over what Gwen had said to her as she drove home, oblivious to the landscape zooming by, and the music playing. She was shocked to find herself in front of her church where Bonnie attended preschool. It felt like she’d just got in the car.
 

This was by far one of the strangest days she’d ever experienced.
 

~Chapter Nine~

Lucy returned her call later that night, just as Georgia was dumping the pasta into the colander. She put her face into the steam and smiled. She’d done that since she was little. Her mom used to say it was a free facial. Georgia now said that to her girls.
 

“I was there, Luce. Fifth and Main, just like you said. All that was there was Old Man River in a rocker and some New Age book store.” She left out all that had occurred inside for some reason. It just seemed like it was something that was just hers.

“Book store? Where the hell were you?”

“Clive, like you said.”

“Chica, I said Clarendon.”

“No, you most certainly did not.” She twirled mounds of angel hair onto four plates.

“Oh, shit. Seriously? I’m sorry, G. I meant to say Clarendon, not Clive. I always get them confused. BFE tends to blend together.”

Georgia shook her head as she drizzled olive oil on her pasta and tomato sauce on the others. “Lucy, that took up my whole day. I thought I was going to get killed there for a second.”

“I thought you said it was deserted.”

“It was. That’s where the really effed up stuff goes down in horror movies.”
 

Georgia put her hand over the receiver and called for the girls.

“I really am sorry.”
 

Poor Lucy. Georgia had an interesting day at least, so she decided to let her friend off the hook.

“I forgive you. I’ll just need some more baked goods. Croissants this time,” she teased. “Well, it’s feeding time at the zoo, so I’ll talk to you mañana.”

“Sounds, good. Love ya, G.”

“What’s not to love?”

Her family took their seats at their round dinner table. The tablecloth was covered in clusters of yellow flowers. Georgia passed out the garlic bread and placed salad into small white bowls.
 

“Mom, I need some water, please,” Amelia said, holding out her cup.

“Am I mistaken, or are you tall enough to reach the fridge?” Georgia said. Amelia sighed and walked over to the sink.

“No wettuce,” Bonnie griped, pushing her bowl away, then crossing her arms across her chest.

“Bonnie, just try it, okay,” Georgia said. “I put the little tomatoes you like on top.”

Bonnie shook her head roughly. “No wettuce!”

“Now Bonnie, your momma took the time to make that, so you need to eat it, ya hear?”

“Yes, Daddy.” Her face scrunched. She pulled the bowl half an inch back towards her place mat. Georgia winked and put out her palms. This signaled the rest to join hands. Nate nodded towards Amelia. It was her turn to say grace.

 
Amelia cocked her head to one side, then cleared her throat. “I love pasta, yes I do. Thank you, God, you’re one cool dude.”

“A-men,” Bonnie cried, throwing a tiny fist in the air. Everyone laughed and Nate smiled with pride. Georgia sometimes worried that Nate felt slighted without a son, but if he felt that way he never showed it.
 

It helped that Amelia was a tomboy. She loved working and riding horses. Driving the tractor out at Nate’s folks’ was one of her favorite pastimes. She’d been begging to go hunting with her dad, but Georgia said no way. Everyone around this part of Texas shot things, but she’d be damned if her little girl was out there killing animals and peeing in bushes.
 

Little Bonnie was all girl. She hated getting dirty, but loved to watch her daddy work outside. She’d perch on her Hello Kitty chair at a mud free distance, sunglasses on her face, and umbrella hoisted for extra shade.
 

Georgia liked to watch him work, too. Nothing like watching him sweat. It made his t-shirts cling to his chest. And no one, no one, could wear a cowboy hat like Nate Bristol. She didn’t even know she was into that kind of thing until the first time she’d seen him on a tractor.
 

It was shortly after they’d been hitched. She couldn’t make out the details of his face because the setting sun had been so blinding. But as he got closer she could see him, covered in sweat and dust. He’d smiled at her like she was the best thing he’d seen all day. Nate grabbed his cowboy hat and held it while he wiped his brow with the inside of the same arm. He pulled up parallel to where she sat on the top rail of the wooden fence.
 
He leapt off the tractor and climbed, putting his booted feet on the bottom rung, straddling her bare legs that where dangling down.
 

“There’s my beautiful bride,” he’d said, as he put his hat on her head. It should have grossed her out, but it didn’t. It smelled like sweat and hay—just like him after he worked the pasture land. He kissed her. Really kissed her. The kind of kiss that left her breathless and flushed.
 

She missed those kisses.

Dinner continued with more laughter and stories of everyone’s day. Georgia was quiet, grinning as she chewed, her heart brimming with love for the people at her table. Right then, at that very moment, the happiness of the people around her was all she needed. It didn’t even bother her that no one asked how her day was.

She forgot about the sachet filled with tea still tucked inside her purse as the bedtime routine began. Bath. Songs. Lotion. Pajamas. Prayers.

“Father, we thank thee for the night, and for the pleasant morning light.
 

For rest and food and loving care, and all that make the world so fair.

 
Help us to do the things we should. To be to others kind and good.
 

In all we do and all we say, to grow more loving every day.”

Georgia leaned in to kiss Amelia on the forehead when she asked, “Momma, what did you want to be when you grew up?” She pulled back, surprised by the question.
 

“When I was little?” Amelia nodded. “I wanted to be a doctor. I remember your gran was watching some show about doctors in a hospital. She didn’t know I was hiding behind the couch. I was supposed to be in bed.” Georgia whispered the last part. “I couldn’t stop watching, I was fascinated. Then, my aunt gave me my very own play medical kit. After that, I would go around treating my stuffed animals. My mom would get so mad at me because I would go through boxes and boxes of band-aids. Those don’t come off fur very well, ya know.”
 

Amelia giggled. “You’d put bandages on your stuffed animals? That’s funny, Momma.”

“Don’t get any ideas.”
 

Amelia crossed her heart. “What happened? Did you change your mind?”

 
Georgia took Amelia’s glasses off of her nose and placed them on her side table. “No, I didn’t change my mind. I just decided I wanted something else more.”

“What?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Uh-huh.” That made Amelia smile.
 

“What about you? What do you want to be?”

“A scientist of some sort, astronomer or oceanographer, maybe…Or a pop star. That would be cool.”

 
“Can you sing?” She knew her daughter was as tone deaf as she was.

“No, but do I really need to? Most of them lip-sync anyway.”

Georgia laughed softly. “Good point. Those are all good choices, and you’re smart enough that you can do anything you set your mind to…You’re a pretty special little girl you know that, right?”

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me,” she teased.

“Well, its’s true. Now go to sleep my little scientist-slash-pop-star.”

“Night, Momma.”

She met Nate in the hallway outside the girls bedrooms. He was grinning.

“I’m not sure what kind of doctor you would’ve been, but you are one hell of a mom,” he said in her ear. She smiled thankfully, kissing his cheek.
 

She didn’t feel like a great mom at that moment. She felt like she’d just lied to her daughter. Maybe lie was a strong word, it definitely wasn’t a whole truth. Her daughter didn’t need to know that she grieved the loss of her future for years. Sometimes, on quiet nights, she grieved still.

Would she have been as good a doctor as she was a mom? She’d never know. But she liked to think she would have made one hell of a doctor.

After she and Nate were ready for bed, they curled up on the couch. Georgia ran her hand up his thigh. It wasn’t overt, but after a few strokes her fingers got just high enough to let Nate know it wasn’t just a casual caress. She just felt like she needed him to touch her, she needed to feel connected to him and sometimes having him inside of her was the only way. He shifted slightly and she cupped him and kissed his neck.
 

“You need something, baby?” he drawled.

“Mmhmm.”
 

He laid down on the couch and took her with him. The girls had been asleep for a while, so they could start off on the couch, but she wanted to finish in bed. She wasn’t in the mood for muffled moans and tentative sighs. She wanted to ride him hard and feel his fingers dig into her bare hips. She wanted him to see her.

Georgia got her wish and cried out, not one loud enough to wake sleeping children, but with just enough volume to show her appreciation.
 

Nate had been long asleep, and she was still staring at the popcorn texture of their ceiling. Her mind was busy with thoughts of the day, which made her think of Gwen.

“The tea.”
 

She rolled out of bed and padded into the kitchen. The tea was supposed to relax her. Maybe after a good night sleep all would be revealed.
 

“Yeah, right.”
 

She turned the pouch around in her palm, running her fingers over the satin yellow ribbon that held it closed. The short time spent with Gwen had been more insightful than hours spent in the company of most. Except maybe Lucy, but with her, insightful took a backseat to snark most of the time. She was fine with that. Laughter feeds the soul as much as insight, in her opinion.

The heat from the mug warmed her hands as she once again closed her eyes and inhaled the scent. She dipped the bag a few more times and wrung the remaining liquid using her spoon. “Here’s to finding contentment…bottoms up.”
 

It was sweet when it hit the tongue and then ended with slightly bitter as it rolled down her throat. Despite the piping hot temperature, she finished the contents of her mug in three gulps.
 

She assessed her body. It didn’t feel any different, sleepy or otherwise. Her skin was a little flushed but that probably had more to do with the hot liquid and the too warm flannel pajama bottoms she wore. With a shoulder shrug she left the kitchen. She wasn’t sure what she excepted, but she expected to feel something, and she continued to feel nothing as she fell asleep the instant her head hit the pillow.

~Chapter Ten~

Georgia was jarred awake by the alarm clock. She groaned and folded her pillow over her exposed ear.

The incessant beeping would shut off any minute…any minute now.
 

“Nate,” she whispered.
 

Beep Beep Beep.

“Nate!” She rolled towards his side, but instead of nudging him awake she rolled off the bed. “What the?”
 

Still disoriented, she managed to find the little box and fumbled until there was, at last, glorious silence. After relief came the realization that there wasn’t carpet beneath her knees, but hard cold floor. There were muted rays of light coming from a covered window in the corner. She stood and shuffled towards it, eyes still heavy with sleep. She found the tiny cord for the blinds and gave it a tug. The first thought that entered her head was when did Nate install these blinds, but when she took in the view outside all remains of lethargy fell away, immediately replaced by shock.