The Space in Between (31 page)

I seriously
cannot
wait.

My excitement might also have a little to do with the fact that he’s bringing his son to dinner. I’ve been hearing about this kid for months now and with as crappy as it can be sometimes, being the only kid in the house, I’m looking forward to having a little brother.

I just wish she’s stop referring to him as Nick’s son and give me an actual name.  The little guy, if things keep going this well, will eventually be my brother after all. It’s only fair that I know what to call him before that happens.

“Dinner is set for five, so I expect you to get here before that.”

“Mom, you know how badly I want to meet him, but you also know how much of a troll Jordan can be and it’s assignment day, which means it’s gonna run long.”

I don’t even bother telling her that my being late will be less about Jordan and more about wanting to spend as much time as humanly possible with Christian.

Flashing me a look of understanding, she pats me on the arm before shifting back toward the kitchen and whatever she’s got to do before heading off to work.

“Just promise you’ll try to be here on time, okay?”

“Pinky promise, Mom. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be tonight.”

Lie number one
.

I’d much rather be at Christian’s recreating the last few days, but she doesn’t need to know that.

“Love you, honey. Drive safe.”

“Always do. See ya!” I yell out over my back as I finally make my way out the front door, making sure as I do to shut it behind me.

Making my way to the car, I slide my backpack over to the passenger seat before climbing in and turning the key in the ignition, the radio picking up where I’d left it last night after Christian and I snuck into my room after our date, complete with a power ballad to get the day started.

Power ballads that over the last couple of days seem to be all I can stand listening to because they sum up the way I’ve been feeling easily.

It’s only been a few days since our Valentine’s date and even though we’ve made love a couple more times since then—each time becoming less awkward and more comfortable physically—I can’t seem to get that first night out of my head.

When people say that you’ll feel different after your first time, more like a woman and less like the girl you are, they’re full of shit. When I woke up the next morning, all I felt was nauseous and sore. My body—the parts that shall remain nameless for fear of grossing people out—stinging and making me wonder why people make such a big deal of sex at all.

I felt exactly the same. I wasn’t standing any taller or looking any leaner. There was no glow on my face that I’ve heard some people have once it happens. There was nothing. I was still the same old Emery, only now with the added bonus of having a bit of experience.

Well that and a boyfriend that had done everything in his power to make the experience perfect for us.

Maybe things are different after all.

I know the way I miss him is stronger and when we’re not together, there’s like a hole in my soul until we’re finally able to be together again. After spending the night with him and making love for the first time, I’m starting to see why he likes puzzles so much.

It’s because the way we are when we’re apart and then we see each other again, it’s like pieces coming together.

Focusing again on what I need to do, I pull out of the drive and head toward the school, each mile that I drive causing my heart to pick up in speed, excitement and eagerness completely taking over once I pull into the school over what’s about to happen now that I’m here.

All of my pieces connecting to his.

Christian

“Do you have practice after school?”

“Nah, but I do the rest of the week cause of the game on Saturday. Why?”

“Rose wants to have us over for dinner tonight.”

All it takes is nine words and the virtual high that I’ve been running on over the last few days is completely obliterated.

If Rose wants us over for dinner it can only mean one thing.

Tonight’s the night that we’re going to sit down as the family we’re eventually going to be and tell Emery the truth.

I should feel good about this.  It means no more secrets. No more pretending that I don’t know our parents are dating and actually getting to be honest with the girl I love, but good is the last thing I feel.

When she finds out, unless I can somehow manage to steel my expression completely, she’s going to know I’ve known about it and been holding back. The very last thing you’re supposed to do when you’re in love. She’s going to see my omission—my lie—all over my face and the same way I fear losing her once she realizes our parents are together, I’ll see now because I was stupid enough to agree to hold back on telling her.

Our parents won’t be what causes our breakup.

I will be.

“What time are we supposed to be there?”

“Dinner is at five, but I was thinking we could get there a bit earlier, especially since I’m sure this is going to be a pretty big shock for Emery.”

“You do realize she thinks your son is some little kid right?”

“I’m aware of it, at least from what Rose has told me.”

“Dad, how can you sit here and be okay with this? In a couple of hours you’re going to blow her world apart.
We’re
going to do it. You and me. Leave Rose out of it for a second. How do you think she’s going to feel when she walks down the stairs or comes in the door and she sees you sitting there, but then looks over and sees me?”

“I can’t imagine her feeling good.”

“Right, so don’t you think the proper way to deal with this is for Rose to sit her down alone? Give her time to come to terms with what she’s learning and then force all of us together?”

I can tell I’m getting to him. I can also see by the frown growing on his face that I’m not saying anything he hasn’t already thought about. I just don’t understand why, if he’s been over this, we’re doing things this way.

If he thinks this is wrong, shouldn’t he be standing up to his girlfriend and telling her that? Why the hell is it going down like this?

Since when do I have to be the adult in the room?

“Son, you’re not saying anything that I haven’t already said to Rose, but this is how she wants to play it. Since this happens to be her daughter we’re talking about, we have to play by her rules.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Yeah,” he sighs out his agreement. “It is, but I have to trust that she knows what’s best for her daughter.”

Rose doesn’t have a clue what’s best and I learned that the hard way when I caught them together weeks ago and her response was that Emery and I had to stop seeing each other. The thing is, I might like and respect the woman a whole lot more if she would just admit that she wasn’t expecting this to be something she ever had to deal with and she doesn’t know what the right way to handle things is.

She’s not doing that though. She’s standing firm in her belief that this is the way things need to be handled and that in the end, we’re going to have to stop what is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to either of us.

In other words…bullshit.

“We can stand here all day debating the right and wrong of this, Chris, but it won’t solve anything. Just promise me you’ll be there tonight.”

“Fine. I’ll be there, but if you expect me to paint on a happy face and enjoy it when I think that her doing it this way is designed to make us break up, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Grabbing my bag off the chair, I head for the door and the safety that in a few minutes my truck is going to provide, all the while sick to my stomach knowing that when I get to school today, I’m not going to be able to act natural the way I wanted.

That for yet another day in a long few weeks of them, I’m going to have to pretend to be the perfect boyfriend when the reality is, I’m anything but.

I just hope that by the time I get to school and get my arms around my girl, my natural need to touch, feel and love on her will kick in and it won’t feel like a total betrayal of her and what I feel.

There’s been enough of that already and I’m more than a little ready for it to stop.

Emery

Well, this sucks.

I’d been hoping that once I was done at the paper, I’d be able to catch Christian and talk him into coming to dinner. Knowing that if I had him with me for what’s about to happen once I get home, it would go a lot smoother. But when I did bring it up, he’d begged off, explaining that he needed to head to work for his pay check before heading home because his dad wanted face time.

So tackling this alone it is.

Climbing out of the car and pressing the automatic lock button, I take my sweet time heading up the driveway and making my way across the grass, dragging my feet until I’m making short work of the stairs and standing on my porch.

Come on, Emery. You knew deep down this was coming. You wanted it to come. This is your chance to tell Nicholas everything you’ve been holding onto for months. There’s nothing to be scared of.

Regardless of my little pep talk, I’ve been unable to shake the uneasy feeling I’ve had about dinner all day and I have no idea why.

For weeks I’ve been hounding my mom. Begging her to get over her fear of letting me meet her boyfriend and to bring him by. I’d taken it so far as to go snooping around in her room looking for something that might give away a location for him. Coming up empty in my search made me attempt to steal her phone and fail, instead earning a lecture about why it was important that things were happening this way and to just take a breath and be patient.

Easy for her to say.
She’s not the one faced with what could possibly be her one shot at a real family. Having her dream come true. She grew up with both of her parents and from what I’ve seen of them during our time together around the holidays before my grandpa died, has always had their acceptance and love. 

I want to have that, so sue me if I want to speed up time and make it happen sooner.

Sliding my key into the door and unlocking it, I slip inside quietly, making quick work of the alarm system before tossing my bag on the floor and heading down the hall after doing a quick scan of the living room and finding it empty.

“Mom, you home yet?”

With the dinner she has planned, part of me knows she’s already home, but considering how normally I can hear her making some kind of noise around the house when I first get here and right now I’m not hearing anything but the sound of my own breath, it’s making me wonder.

“In the kitchen, honey!”

Hearing her response right as I hit the kitchen door, I don’t even think before stepping around the corner and walking in. It’s only when I catch movement on the left side of the room that my eyes move from my mom’s place near the oven to the man sitting in the chair.

Nicholas.

I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something familiar about him. Like, I’ve seen him around someplace, but where or when, I don’t know.

Weird.

“Hello Emery.” He says, the corners of his eyes lifting as the smile takes over his face.

He has a nice smile.

 “Emery, I was hoping you would have been home before they got here, but now that you are, I’d like you meet Nicholas,” she explains, motioning to the guy with the epic smile before moving her hand across to where another body is waiting in the chair just a little to her right. “And this is his son, Christian.”

Smiling at just the slightest mention of the name, I turn and take a step forward, prepared to meet the eyes of the little dude that sometime soon might just be my brother and when my eyes finally make their way up to the face staring back at me, my blood instantly runs cold.

Christian, my Christian, is sitting in my kitchen.

What the hell?

Who invited him and why didn’t he tell me he was coming before he left school?

Studying him, hoping to find the answers I’m looking for in his eyes, my heart sinks when instead of holding my gaze, he looks away. As his eyes settle on the floor, everything my mom said when she introduced us, finally takes hold.

Nicholas is Christian’s dad.

Our parents are dating.

Oh my God.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Emery

No way.

No. Freaking. Way.

This cannot be happening right now.

There is no way that the Nick my mom has been seeing for the past six months is the same Nick that I’ve spent the same amount of time hearing about.

Nicholas can’t possibly be Christian’s dad.

“Honey, are you okay?”

Oh Mom
, I’m dying to say, but have to be content with just thinking.
I am so not okay right now
.

I know why she’s asking. It’s because I’ve been standing here staring like some kind of fan girl with my feet stuck like glue to the floor, for too long. Five minutes, ten, I have no idea how long I’ve actually been stuck here like this, but I do know that when I am finally able to move again, it’s not going to be toward that table.

Nope. Not gonna sit there because this isn’t really happening right now. I’m dreaming. I must have fallen asleep in class and like always I’m dreaming about seeing Christian, though seeing him like this is definitely not what I was going for.

“Emery, say something. You’re starting to worry me.”

I can hear my mom saying the words, hell, a slight shift of my eyes to the side and I can even see her lips moving as she says them, but I can’t acknowledge it with more than a blink because it would make this entire scene real and it just can’t be.

Great.

Now I can feel her shaking me, trying to get me to give her some kind of sign that I’m not completely catatonic. Too bad. I can’t even give myself what I want right now in getting the hell out of here, much less give anything to her.