Her eyes widened. “You want me to leave him alone on his first night?”
“Well, I thought—”
“Jim, he might be frightened sleeping in his new crib. And what if he wakes up during the night and needs me?”
Jim massaged his forehead. “You’re not planning to sleep in the kid’s room, I hope.”
She nodded. “I thought maybe I’d sleep on an air mattress. Just for tonight, of course.”
“Yeah, okay. Whatever you want to do.” He grabbed the suitcases and trudged up the hall behind her.
By the middle of August, Naomi felt defeated. The days were longer, the work was harder, the children became more difficult, and Papa seemed crankier than ever. Naomi was irritable, too; and no matter how many times she said, “I love you” or “I’m sorry for snapping,” her siblings still acted as though she shouldn’t be the person in charge.
Except for Sunday services, Naomi hadn’t seen or spoken to Caleb since the night her daed caught them under the maple tree. Papa had made it clear when he spoke to her the next morning that she could not be courted by Caleb or anyone else.
Naomi leaned against the wooden counter and groaned. A little boy and his mother had just left the store. Every time Naomi saw a child about Zach’s age, she thought of him. It had been two months since her little brother had been kidnapped, and in all that time, the police hadn’t had any leads. Since there was nothing to go on, Naomi was sure they had quit looking.
She clutched the notebook lying in front of her.
After this much time, we may as well give up on the idea of Zach ever coming home
.
If that English man was gonna bring our boppli back, he would have done so by now. All we can do is hope and pray Zach’s okay.
The bell above the front door jingled, and in walked Ginny Meyers. Naomi’s gaze darted to the back of the store, where Papa and the girls were stocking shelves. The last thing she needed was for him to see her talking with Ginny. He’d made it clear he didn’t care much for the young English woman, and he didn’t like Naomi talking to her.
“Hey, how are you?” Ginny asked, leaning across the counter.
“Haven’t been able to get away from the restaurant much lately, and I’ve missed our little visits.”
Naomi sighed. “Things are pretty much the same around here.”
“No news on Zach?”
“Not a word.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Ginny leaned closer. “Can you meet me for lunch today? We can talk better if we’re away from here.”
Naomi turned her head toward the back of the store. She could only see Mary Ann and Nancy. Papa must have gone to the storage room for more boxes. “I—I don’t see how I could get away.”
“Tell your dad you want to go for a walk or something. Say you’re bringing your lunch and will eat it somewhere along the way.” Ginny smiled, her blue eyes twinkling with mischief. “I’ll meet you in the park at noon.”
Naomi’s hands grew sweaty. She hadn’t done anything so bold since she crept out of the house to see what Caleb wanted. What if someone saw her with Ginny and told her father? And what about the girls? Would Papa mind her leaving them at the store with him while she went off by herself for a while?
“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll see if I can get away,” she whispered. “If I’m not there by twelve fifteen, you’ll know I’m not coming.”
Ginny winked. “Fair enough. See you soon.” Her long, blond hair hung down her back this morning, and it swished back and forth as she swaggered toward the front door. Naomi couldn’t help but wonder how she would feel if she could let her hair down in public. She’d been thinking about the English world a lot lately. The worse things got at home, the more appeal the modern world had for her. If she were English and not Amish, she’d be allowed to do more—probably wouldn’t have so many brothers and sisters to look after, either.
The door closed behind Ginny, and Naomi took up her work again. She had to make a list of things they needed to order. Papa would be expecting it to be ready by the time he was done at the back of the store.
Half an hour later, Naomi was finished, and just in time.
“Have ya got that list done yet?” Papa asked as he stepped behind the counter and peered over her shoulder.
She lifted the tablet and without turning around handed it to him. “Say, Papa, I was wonderin’ if it would be all right if I take my lunch pail and go for a walk. I sure could use some fresh air.”
“Humph!
The thermometer in the window shows it’s almost ninety outside. Most likely the humidity’s at ninety percent, too. Nothin’ refreshing ’bout that.”
She nodded. “I know, but it seems even hotter inside the store.”
“Jah, well, I don’t mind if ya eat your lunch outside, but you’ll have to take the girls along.”
Naomi swiveled on the stool. “Why can’t they stay here with you? Won’t you be needing their help if a bunch of customers shows up?”
Papa gave his beard a quick tug and stared over the top of her head, refusing to make eye contact. “Guess you’ve got a point.”
“I can go then?”
He nodded curtly. “Don’t be gone long. I’ve got some errands to run later, and I can’t leave Nancy and Mary Ann in charge of the store while I’m gone.”
“I won’t be late. I promise.”
Jim entered the house through the garage door. He and his crew had started painting an apartment complex nearby, and Jim thought he’d swing by the house and get a couple jugs of iced tea. They were having unusually warm weather here in the Northwest, even for the middle of August. The last thing he needed was for any of the guys to keel over with heat exhaustion.
“Linda, I’m home for a few minutes!” he called.
When there was no response, he headed down the hall to their room. He discovered Linda asleep on the bed with Jimmy curled up next to her. At the foot of the bed was a stack of things they’d picked up on their trip to the East Coast in June.
He tiptoed out of the room. No point in waking Linda or the baby. Besides, he needed to get some aspirin from the medicine cabinet. He had another headache and wondered if it was from the heat. The guy on the radio said the temperature had reached almost eighty degrees. It was only eight o’clock in the morning, so Jim figured it might be in the high nineties later in the day.
When he emerged from the bathroom a short time later, Linda and Jimmy were still asleep. Jim scooped up the brochures and headed for the kitchen. He was surprised after all this time that Linda hadn’t thrown the stuff away.
Jim grabbed two jugs of iced tea from the refrigerator and decided to take the time to pour himself a glass. His painting crew was already hard at work, and he figured he could take a few minutes before heading back to the job site.
Dropping into a chair at the table, he flipped through the stack of magazines and other papers. A newspaper called
The Budget
was at the bottom of the pile. It was published in Sugarcreek, Ohio, for the Amish and Mennonites. Jim discovered there were numerous articles written by Plain people all over the nation. There was even a want-ad section.
Hmm ... this might be a way I could let Jimmy’s family know he’s okay.
Jim jotted down the address and information needed to place an ad and stuck it inside his shirt pocket. He’d get something drafted soon and send it off.
Better not mail it from here, though. Don’t want to take the chance of anyone tracing its origin.
Jim decided he would write up the announcement tomorrow, and when they went to Boise next weekend to see Linda’s folks, he’d take the ad and mail it from there, along with cash.
I’m not dumb enough to send a check, that’s for sure.
“What are you doing home, Jim? I thought you were at work.”
Jim jumped up, dropping
The Budget
to the floor. “Don’t scare me like that, Linda.”
“Sorry. I thought you heard us come into the room.”
She held the baby, and Jimmy smiled and said, “Da-Da-Da.”
“Yep, that’s me. I’m your daddy, little guy.” Jim extended his arms, and the child went willingly to him.
“What are you doing with all our vacation stuff?” Linda asked.
“I—uh—found the brochures at the foot of our bed and thought I’d take a look.” He sat down at the table, balancing Jimmy on one knee. “I was surprised to see all this stuff. Figured by now you’d have thrown out the junk you brought home from our trip.”
She wrinkled her nose and took the seat across from him. “It’s not junk, Jim. There’s a lot of interesting things about the Amish in those brochures.” She bent over and picked up
The Budget.
“Look, there’s even an Amish newspaper.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
“Earlier today, I was reading some of the articles written by Amish and Mennonite people,” she said. “They sure live a different lifestyle from the rest of America.”
He nodded and kissed the top of Jimmy’s head.
“I’d like to visit Pennsylvania Dutch country again sometime. Maybe try to learn a little more about the Amish people’s unusual culture. When do you think we might make another trip to Pennsylvania?”
Jim nearly choked. The last thing he needed was to bring his wife and boy back to Lancaster County so he could be snagged for kidnapping. “I—uh—think Mom and Dad are planning to make a trip out here next summer, so there’s not much point in us making plans to go to the East Coast for a few more years.”
Linda’s lower lip protruded, but it wasn’t going to work this time. Her whining, pouting, or cajoling would not get her a trip to Pennsylvania or even Ohio—not if Jim had anything to say about it.
“Naomi, I’m glad you could make it.”
Naomi looked over at Ginny, who had flopped onto the picnic bench. “I was surprised Papa had no objections to me leavin’ the store.”
Ginny smiled. “That is one for the books.”
“Maybe he’s sick of seeing me.” Naomi stared down at her clasped hands. “Ever since Zach was taken, he’s had trouble lookin’ me in the eye.”
Ginny clicked her tongue. “Well, shame on him. Doesn’t your dad realize you didn’t leave Zach sitting on that picnic table on purpose? It’s not like you were hoping he’d be kidnapped or anything.”
Naomi swallowed the bile rising in her throat. “I’ve never admitted this to anyone, but the truth is, I’ve often wished I could be free of caring for my family—even daydreamed about how it would be if I were an only child.”
Ginny elbowed Naomi in the ribs. “Get real, girl! Anyone with brothers and sisters has wished that more than once. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered how much better my life would be if my brother, Tim, had never been born.”
Tears welled up in Naomi’s eyes, and she sniffed in an effort to hold them back. It seemed like all she did anymore was cry. Cry and feel sorry for herself.
“I’m here to tell you that just because you wished you had no siblings to care for doesn’t mean you were the cause of your brother being abducted.”
“But I’m the one who left him in the yard with a complete stranger.” She gulped on a sob. “If Zach never comes home, I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself.”
“If your family was more supportive, you could probably deal with this a lot better.” Ginny squeezed Naomi’s hand. “Want to know what I think?”
Naomi shrugged, knowing Ginny would probably give her opinion no matter how she replied.
“I think you need to get away from this place.”
“What place? The park?”
Ginny snickered. “No, silly. Lancaster County and your accusing family.”
Naomi’s mouth fell open. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you and I should hit the road—jump in my sports car and head for parts unknown.” Ginny frowned. “I’m getting sick of helping out at my folks’ restaurant. If I don’t strike out on my own pretty soon, they’ll have me tied to that place.”
Naomi trembled. Just the thought of leaving home sent shivers up her back. She had never been any farther north than East Earl and no farther south than Strasburg. Truth was, the Fishers were a stay-at-home kind of family. They didn’t hire English drivers to take them on vacation trips like some in their community were fond of doing.
“Promise me you’ll think about what I said. Your family doesn’t appreciate you, and my advice is to get away. Put as many miles between you and them as you can.”
“What about the promise I made to Mama before she died? I told her I’d look after the family, and if I leave, I’ll be breakin’ that vow.”
“Get real, Naomi. Nobody in your family listens to what you say anymore. You’ve told me that several times. You wouldn’t be reneging on your promise; you’d be setting your family free.”
Naomi swiped her hand across her damp cheeks. “You think they’d see it that way?”
Ginny nodded.
Naomi filled her lungs with the humid air clinging to her clothes like flypaper. Would she be dishonoring her mother’s wishes if she left? Could she do it? She grabbed hold of her lunch pail and squeezed the handles. “I’ll think about it. That’s all I can promise.”
Naomi awoke in a cold sweat. She’d been dreaming about Zach again. She’d done that several times since his disappearance, but this dream was the worst. In the nightmare, Zach sat on the picnic table, his arms outstretched, tears coursing down his rosy cheeks. She stood in the doorway, wanting to go to him but unable to move her legs. She’d tried calling Zach’s name but couldn’t find her voice. A thick fog settled over the baby, and when it lifted, he was gone.
Naomi closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She was glad it had only been a dream. The vision of Zach with his arms extended still disturbed her. “Be with him, Lord,” she prayed. “Be with my baby brother wherever he is.”
Naomi sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Maybe it was time to take down the crib. Seeing it sitting there empty was a painful reminder that her baby brother was gone. Maybe this was the reason he haunted her dreams so often. She’d left the crib up at first, hoping Zach would be returned. Then she justified it by telling herself that leaving it there was a reminder to pray for him.
“I’ll remember to pray for Zach even without seeing his crib,” she murmured.
Naomi tasted salty tears as she dismantled her little brother’s bed. “I’m such a failure,” she moaned. “Maybe Ginny’s right. My family would be better off without me.”
She hauled the crib across the hall and positioned it behind several boxes in the storage closet.
Guess Ginny didn’t actually say they’d be better off if I was gone. She just said I’d be setting them free. But that adds
up to the same thing in my estimation.
Naomi tiptoed back to her room. It was only five in the morning, and she didn’t want to wake the younger ones, who were still asleep in their beds.
I need to have a heart-to-heart talk with Papa before I make any decisions that could affect the rest of my life. I have to find out how he really feels about me. If there’s even a chance he thinks we can iron things out, I’ll keep trying to make it work.
Naomi slipped a dark green dress over her head, quickly did up her hair, and put her white head covering in place. She padded across the room in her bare feet and grabbed the doorknob. Papa would probably be doing his morning chores in the barn by now. If her brothers weren’t working near him, she’d go there and talk to Papa before starting breakfast.
Several minutes later, Naomi stepped into the barn. It was dark and quiet, with only the occasional nicker of the horses to break the peaceful silence. She made her way toward the goat pen, knowing Papa usually started milking the goats first thing.
Soon she heard his muffled voice, and the steady
ping, ping, ping
of milk spurting into the bucket confirmed that Papa was there. She halted at the door when she perceived his first words.
“Oh, Lord God, You know how hard I’ve been tryin’,” he wailed. “I want to forgive the man who stole Zach from us. I want to forgive Naomi for her part in Zach’s disappearance, too, but it’s ever so hard.” He sniffed, and Naomi could tell from her dad’s quavering voice that he was close to tears.
“I thought if I kept praying and trusting, You’d bring Zach home to us, but that hasn’t happened. Where is Your goodness, Lord?” There was a pause, followed by a deep moan. “Naomi hasn’t been happy since Sarah died and she was left to care for the kinner. Truth is, I think all my oldest daughter wants is to be free of us ... to marry the buggy maker and forget about her responsibilities here. I have to wonder if she didn’t leave Zach outside with that English fellow on purpose, hopin’ he might take him. Then she would be shed of one little brother.” He grunted. “Maybe she’d like to get rid of the rest of her brothers and sisters, too.”
Naomi covered her mouth with the palm of her hand and steadied herself against the wall in order to keep from toppling over. Papa was baring his soul to God, and she was witness to it. For the first time since Zach’s kidnapping, she’d heard her daed say what had been buried deep in his soul. Papa not only blamed her for the kidnapping, but he thought she’d done it on purpose.
“Truth is, Lord, I can barely look at Naomi anymore,” Papa continued. “Sometimes I wish—”
Naomi couldn’t stand to hear another word. She choked on a sob, spun around, and rushed out of the barn.
Abraham felt washed out as he trudged toward the house. He’d been up since before dawn, done all his chores, and had spent more than an hour in the barn, praying and telling God everything on his heart. It hadn’t helped. He felt as miserable now as when he’d begun praying. If only there was a way to relieve his pain. If he could just make things right again.
When Abraham entered the kitchen, he thought it was strange that none of the gas lanterns were lit. Naomi was usually up by now, scurrying around the kitchen and yelling at Nancy and Mary Ann to get the table set for breakfast. There was no sign of her, and none of the children were around.
Maybe she overslept. If Naomi isn’t up yet, there’s a good chance the others are still in bed, too.
His three youngest children relied on their older sister to rouse them each morning. They’d probably sleep ’til noon if she didn’t make them get up.
Abraham ambled across the room and set the pail of goat’s milk on the kitchen table. When he lit the lantern overhead, a piece of paper came into view. It was lying on the table, right where he sat for every meal.
Looks like some kind of a letter
.
He sank into a chair and began to read.
Abraham let the paper slip from his fingers and fall to the floor. He sat there for several minutes as though in a daze. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be a horrible dream. Naomi always looked out for the kinner. Surely she wouldn’t set out with that spoiled English girl and leave her brothers and sisters to fend for themselves. And what about the store? Who would help him run the place now?
Abraham fell forward, his head resting on the table.
First, I lost my dear wife in death, then my baby boy was snatched away, and now my oldest daughter has run off.
He lifted his head as hot tears streamed down his face and dripped onto his beard.
Dear Lord in heaven, I’ve lost them all. Oh, God, help me! What have I done?
Naomi stood trembling at the back door of Meyers’ Family Restaurant. It was still early, but she knew someone was inside because there were lights on.
Probably getting ready for the Saturday morning breakfast crowd
.
She drew in a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. She should be at home, getting breakfast on and lining out the chores she and the children needed to do for the day. Instead, she was about to embark on a journey that would likely change the rest of her life. Her family’s life would be different now, too.
Will Samuel, Nancy, and Mary Ann be better off without their big sister telling them what to do? And what of Matthew, Jake, and Norman? Will they be relieved to hear I’ve run off?
She gulped in another breath and sank to the concrete porch. Her legs were still wobbly from running most of the way to town.
What will Papa think when he reads my note? Will he be glad I’m gone? Will he hire a maid to help out now, or will he try to do everything alone?
After hearing the hurtful words her daed said to God in the barn, Naomi had made a beeline for the house, where she scrawled a note to Papa and hurriedly packed a few clothes and personal things. Then she’d headed out on foot, not wanting to take the time to hitch up the horse and buggy and knowing Papa might have heard if she had. Besides, taking the buggy would have complicated things. She would have had to leave it somewhere in town for Papa or one of the brothers to pick up later on. No, it was better that she’d come on her own.
Naomi stared across the empty parking lot. No customers yet, so it must be too early. Would Ginny be working today? What if she wasn’t? How would Naomi let her friend know she was ready to leave Lancaster County behind? She knew Ginny lived somewhere in the nearby town of Soudersburg, but she didn’t know the address.
Maybe I could ask her folks or someone else who works at the restaurant.
Naomi got to her feet, and the back door suddenly opened. Relief flooded her soul when Ginny stepped onto the porch carrying a sack of garbage. She wore a pair of blue jeans and a yellow T-shirt with a white apron tied around her waist.
“Naomi! What are you doing here at this time of the day?”
Naomi’s knees threatened to buckle. She sat back down with a moan.
Ginny tossed the plastic sack into the dumpster beside the porch and took a seat on the step. “What’s wrong? I can tell by your swollen eyes and red cheeks that you’ve been crying.”
“I—I—came to see you.”
Ginny pointed at the suitcase sitting on the other side of Naomi. “You’ve run away from home?”
Naomi nodded as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I can’t go back, Ginny.”
“Why? What happened?”
Naomi quickly related the story of how she’d overheard her father praying in the barn. “He believes I left Zach on the picnic table on purpose. He thinks our family would be better off without me.”
Ginny draped her arm over Naomi’s shoulder. “You did the right thing by leaving. I’ve told you many times that your family doesn’t appreciate you.” She sighed. “Truthfully, I don’t think my parents appreciate me, either. They’ve got me doing kitchen duty this morning, and Mom knows how much I hate it.”
Naomi swiped her hand across her face and sniffed. “If you’re still wantin’ the two of us to run away together, I’m more than ready to go.”
“Now?” Ginny looked over her shoulder as though someone might come out of the restaurant and catch the two of them making plans.
“Jah, if you can get away.”
Ginny chewed on her bottom lip. “Let’s see.... I drove my own car to work this morning, so transportation’s not a problem. However, I would need to go home and get some clothes and my bankbook. Can’t very well leave town without any money.”
“But today’s Saturday, and the bank’s not open,” Naomi reminded. “I have a little money with me—took it from my dresser drawer where I’d been savin’ up to buy a present for Jake. His birthday is two weeks from today.”
Ginny scrambled to her feet. “That’s going to be one birthday you’ll have to miss.”
Naomi didn’t need the reminder. The pain of not being there to help celebrate any of her family’s birthdays smarted like a bee sting.
“I doubt you have enough money to take us very far, but I’ve managed to save up a pretty good sum.” Ginny smiled. “And for your information, the bank we use in Lancaster is open ’til one today, and even if it weren’t, there’s always an ATM machine.”
“After you get some money, then what?”
“First off, I’m going into the restaurant to get my purse. It’s got my car keys and driver’s license, which are both vital items. Then I’ll leave a note for my folks. When I’m sure nobody’s looking, I’ll come back outside; we’ll jump in my sports car, head for the house, grab a few things, and be off to the bank.” She grinned as though she was finding great joy in all of this. “From there, it’s hit the road and never look back!”
Abraham sat up. He didn’t know how long he’d been leaning over the table with his head resting on his arms. Rays of light streamed through the kitchen windows, bouncing off the walls and sending swirls of tiny dust particles through the air.
The older boys must be outside doing their chores yet, but he was sure the younger ones were still in bed. If there was ever a day when Abraham felt like closing the store and staying home, this was that day. Not since Zach’s kidnapping had he felt such anguish. How could he go about business as usual when Naomi had run off? How could he have let such a terrible thing happen? All Abraham wanted to do was climb the stairs to his room, crawl into bed, and pull the covers over his head.
But I have a family to support,
he reminded himself.
Besides, closing the store won’t bring Naomi home. Only God can do that, same as with Zach.
He grimaced. Would God answer his prayers where his two children were concerned? He’d obviously failed them—probably failed God, too. If only he’d hired someone to help out after Sarah died. If he hadn’t been so stubborn and tightfisted, Naomi wouldn’t have had to work so hard. If she’d had more free time—time to do some fun things with others her age—maybe she wouldn’t have been preoccupied and left Zach alone in the yard.
“I’ve been too hard on her,” he moaned. “Now it’s too late.”
“Who ya talkin’ to, Papa, and what’s it too late for?”
Abraham turned in his chair. Samuel stood inside the kitchen door, a lock of blond hair in his eyes, his cheeks still rosy from sleep.
“Where are your sisters?” Abraham asked. “Are they up yet?”
Samuel shrugged. “Don’t rightly know. I woke up and didn’t smell anything cookin’, so I thought I’d come down here and have a look-see.”
Abraham pushed his chair away from the table. “You’d better wake ’em. Nancy and Mary Ann are gonna have to fix breakfast.”