Authors: Max Frei,Polly Gannon
Tags: #Mystery & Detective, #Horror, #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Epic
The Stranger (77 page)
After dinner, which affected me like a dose of horse tranquilizers, Lady Sotofa leaned over the immobile body of the merchant Agon.
“How long can you just loll around like that, you no-count?” she roared in an alien, shrieking voice. The unfortunate chap began to stir.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret, Juffin,” said Sotofa, beaming. “It’s possible to return any person to life if you shout in his ear the same thing he was used to waking up to in childhood. As you see, the mother of this gentleman couldn’t control her emotions. Just like my own mother, in fact. Do you remember my mamma, Juffin, may she rest in peace? I think she was what turned us into such good sorcerers: we had to save our skins somehow. Well, collect this dolt, boys, and clear out! You have work to do, and so do we. Life’s not just for pleasure.”
We loaded the gradually reviving merchant whose life we had just saved into the amobiler. I was so taken aback by what I had seen that I didn’t even ask any questions.
“Well, what do you think of her?”
I had never known Juffin’s voice to sound so tender.
“Oh . . . I can’t even imagine what all the others are like.”
“You can take it from me that the others are no match for her. Sotofa is the cream of the crop. Even Grand Magician Nuflin is scared of her. Has this shaken your faith in me, Sir Max?”
“Not at all, but she’s really something.”
“Sotofa hails from the same place I do. Did you catch that?” Juffin smiled. “She’s my closest friend from those parts, although we see each other rarely, and mostly on official matters. About five hundred years or so ago we had a very stormy romance. The people of Kettari were tickled to death when, after the latest in a long chain of quarrels, I arrested her in the ‘name of the law’ and escorted her to the House on the Road. That’s what the local Ministry of Perfect Public Order is called. Five hundred years ago, can you believe it? Then Sotofa got it into her head that she had to enter some Order, and she tripped off to the capital. I was devastated by her little escapade. But life proved the girl right—there was a place in the Order for her.”
I stared at Juffin.
“Are you telling me this for a particular reason?”
“Naturally—you need to know why she treats me with such a lack of decorum,” the chief said, winking at me. “Otherwise you might start thinking that any woman older than three hundred can wrap me around her little finger.”
At the House by the Bridge Melifaro dashed out to meet us.
“Juffin,” he said in a mournful whisper. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Melamori has locked herself in my office, and she won’t let me in. I think she’s crying.”
“Well, let her have a good cry,” the boss advised him. “Why shouldn’t a good person cry when times are bad? Everything will be all right, just don’t try to comfort her. She’ll kill you on the spot, and I won’t be able to jump in and set things right. I’ll be too busy. Find Lonli-Lokli. Let him drop whatever he’s doing and wait for us here. And don’t you go anywhere, either. Tell Melamori that in half an hour we’ll be working to beat the band. She can join us if she wishes. Let’s go, Max.”
Without giving me time to reconsider, Juffin gripped the unfortunate merchant Agon under his arms and dragged him into his office. I shuffled after them.
“Now then, Max,” the chief addressed me in a clipped, energetic tone, seating our captive in an armchair. “I hate interfering in other people’s affairs, but sometimes one must. This is one of those times. Don’t even think of pursuing this affair of the heart—it will only make matters worse. Lady Melamori is feeling as miserable as you are, if not more so. But she is under no illusions about what happened this morning. She knows something that you don’t know. For example, she knows what happens to people who fly in the face of tradition and try to fool fate. It’s not customary to speak of such things aloud, since it’s common knowledge—common for everyone but you and other newcomers, that is.”
“What is it, then? What does everyone know?” I wailed.
“You see, one of the lovers who ignores the ban on subsequent trysts will surely die. Which of them it will be cannot be predicted. But I’d be willing to bet that it won’t be you, since . . . well, never mind. Take my word for it: you’re luckier than Melamori. That’s just the way it is.”
“It’s the first I’ve heard of it,” I muttered. “And, excuse me, but I don’t believe it. It’s like some cheap mystery romance.”
“For some time now your whole life has been some cheap mystery romance, as you put it. Why would I lie to you? You and I, Praise be the Magicians, didn’t find each other in the Quarter of Trysts.”
“That’s true,” I said with a crooked smile. “But I don’t like any of this one bit. I thought the lady was just shy and superstitious. I had hoped I might persuade her eventually.”
“You might be able to if you try. But I wouldn’t advise it. ‘Not my girlfriend’ is much more pleasant to the ear than ‘dead girlfriend,’ don’t you think? A solid friendship has its advantages over a flaming passion, which you will come to realize sooner or later. Okay? So case closed. Back to work.”
I looked at Juffin, stupefied. He shrugged, as though giving me to understand that the laws of nature didn’t depend on him.
“I trust you won’t try to strangle me if I give this pathetic specimen a few drops of your precious elixir?” he asked casually.
“No, not if you give me some, too. I’m as tired as can be.”
“Certainly, you sponger. Why haven’t you bought yourself a bottle yet? I told you—”
“I’m economizing. Is that more than you can fathom?”
Sir Juffin Hully laughed out loud. He seemed relieved that I was behaving like my old self again. And truly, knowing that my grief was shared half and half was enough to return me to life. Something similar had happened yesterday with Captain Giatta. I came to understand that I wasn’t a “spurned lover” from a mawkish novel, but simply a person compelled to accept his fate. It was painful, but much more tolerable.
After he had swallowed some Elixir of Kaxar, our captive began to understand what was what. When the merchant finally grasped the fact that he was no longer wearing the belt, he tried to kiss our feet, which didn’t flatter us in the least.
“We’d rather you spilled the beans, on the double!” Juffin grumbled. “Who fastened that silly belly-embellishment on you in the first place?”
“His name is Xropper Moa. He’s from your part of the world, sir.”
“Say no more.” Juffin turned to me. “The one and only Grand Magician of the Order of the Barking Fish. The Order was a lightweight outfit, but the fellow always had an uncommonly vivid imagination.”
Juffin scrutinized the merchant again. The merchant shuddered under his gaze. I can understand why: Juffin’s range of meaningful stares includes some that are absolutely terrifying.
“What did he want from you, Agon?”
“He wanted to steal something, some ‘Great Talisman.’ I myself am not sure what it is. My task was a petty one—to palm the belt off on certain people. Then Xropper sent them a call or met them personally, and told them what was required of them.”
“Excellent. On whom did you foist the belt during the present journey?”
“No one. This time Xropper came with me himself. He seemed to have realized that without his participation it wasn’t going to work. I did everything he told me to do, but . . . my single greatest success was the boy Apatti. He procured only a useless copy, though. After this fiasco Xropper fumed for a whole year, and then thought for another one. Finally we set out for Echo again, and he promised that it was our last voyage. After that he would set me free.”
“And you would conveniently be able to carry on your business, isn’t that right?” Juffin asked, narrowing his eyes. “Those belted lads make very good thieves, don’t they? They do everything you tell them to, and they never give away their boss. You liked that—admit it, Agon! How much wealth from the capital were you able to cart off to sunny Tashera?”
“I didn’t—”
“Hold your tongue, Agon! I’ve studied all the unsolved cases of apartment burglary that plague the conscience of our municipal police. The dates of these memorable events correspond fairly exactly to the dates when your
Old Maid
was anchored in our docks. Shall I go on?”
Old Maid
was anchored in our docks. Shall I go on?”
The bearded fellow stared at the floor in embarrassment. Sir Juffin smirked.
“I see that won’t be necessary. Now then, you tell me where your friend Xropper is. And if I can find him with your assistance, consider yourself lucky. You’ll pay your captain; I’ll send you away from the Unified Kingdom with no right of return—end of story! Your exploits don’t fall under my jurisdiction, after all. But if I don’t find him—well, I’ll just buckle this marvelous little trinket on you again, this amazing belt fashioned by Magician Xropper Moa himself. Are you feeling lucky, merchant?”
“I don’t know where Xropper is!” Mr. Agon stammered in panic. “He didn’t tell me anything!”
“Commendable precautions,” Juffin agreed affably. “It would be strange if he reported to you. But you still have one more chance. Imagine that I would be satisfied if you told me where he was yesterday. I ask for no more than that.”
“Yesterday . . . Yesterday, we met at the
Golden Rams
after dinner, but I don’t know—”
Golden Rams
after dinner, but I don’t know—”
“It’s good that it was after dinner and not for it,” Juffin said, screwing up his face with disdain. “A vulgarly expensive dive with terrible food. Just the ticket for a rogue like Xropper! Fine, Sir Max. Pack up our guest. We’ll take him with us. He might come in handy.”
I stared at the chief in perplexity until it dawned on me what he wanted.
“Sure!”
With one deft movement, the merchant occupied his usual place between the thumb and the forefinger of my left hand. It began to seem that Mr. Agon and I would be together forever.
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