Authors: Max Frei,Polly Gannon
Tags: #Mystery & Detective, #Horror, #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Epic
The Stranger (79 page)
The lustrous white shimmer of Lonli-Lokli’s death-dealing hands began cutting intricate designs in the darkness.
“What are you doing, Shurf?”
“It’s better to force your victim out than to seek him yourself. Do you really think that killing is my only accomplishment, Max? My profession requires a much wider spectrum of skills.” He paused and squinted into the darkness. “See? There he is. This spell is foolproof—with people, that is.
Yowzer shazam, bim bam!”
Yowzer shazam, bim bam!”
His final exclamation was accompanied by a bright explosion, and I realized that Sir Xropper Moa, the Grand Magician of the Order of the Barking Fish, had left the world of the living. At that moment, his name assumed an honorable place on the list of the latest accomplishments of the Secret Investigative Force.
“There you have it,” Lonli-Lokli said, pulling on his gloves. “Finishing a case is always easier than starting it. Have you ever thought about that, Max?”
“No, but I promise I will.”
“As always, Sir Shurf has been equal to the task!” Juffin’s voice rang out from behind us. “I apologize, but we were detained, boys. I used the opportunity to lecture Lady Melamori over the body of the slovenly old codger.”
“I told you we would miss the most interesting part,” Melamori protested in an injured tone. She was still shrouded in darkness. “Everyone’s already been killed. How disappointing!”
“The most interesting part, you say?” Juffin’s eyebrows shot up. “Gentlemen, do you know what’s in this basement?”
“Of course we do,” Melifaro’s face appeared in the doorway. “Somewhere here is the secret entrance to Jafax. The eldest son of Sir Gartom Xattel Min is one of the most prominent junior Magicians of the Order of the Seven-Leaf Clover, hallowed be its name, and greetings to your Uncle Kima, Melamori. Is that what you meant, Sir?”
“It’s impossible to surprise any of you,” Juffin said, pursing his lips in mock displeasure. “My congratulations, boys. Today Grand Magician Nuflin will be able to sleep peacefully, which doesn’t happen every day. It’s too bad, of course, that you had to kill Xropper, Sir Shurf.”
“But you know yourself, Sir Juffin, that this is the lot of every Mutinous Magician who has made three attempts at murder, whatever the outcome.”
“Don’t take it amiss, Sir Shurf. Your actions were perfectly correct. I just wanted to know what this madman intended to do with the Shining Seven-Leaf Clover. As far as I know, this object is of no benefit to anyone else in the World but Magician Nuflin. Perhaps I’m wrong?”
The tremor of uncertainty in Sir Juffin Hully’s voice lent a certain charm to the end of the case. Besides, there was still trouble in store for us.
We returned to the House by the Bridge and put old Xattel Min in a a detention cell for those awaiting trial. It was decided not to revive this poor apology for a marksman while he was still wearing the belt. Why borrow trouble?
“Go home to rest, boys,” Juffin ordered. “Everyone but . . . How about you, Max? Are you ready to roll?”
“I’ll say!” I admitted readily.
I was even afraid to think of going home. Armstrong and Ella were waiting for me; but so were sweet memories that were better kept at bay.
I looked at Melamori, who was intent on studying the floor under her own feet. The prospect of going home to rest clearly did not fill her with enthusiasm, either. She was as unhappy as I was, proof that I wasn’t alone in having found at last what I had sought for so long. Sooner or later she would have to try to make her life bearable—and the sooner the better. So I did the first thing that occurred to me: I sent a call to Melifaro.
If you don’t walk her home, friend, you’re a miserable louse!
Melifaro nearly fell off his chair in astonishment, then looked at me quizzically.
Do what you’re told!
What’s gotten into you, Mr. Bad Dream? I always thought you dwellers of the endless plains were as jealous as—
But I’m a
crazy
dweller of the endless plains, so . . . hold your tongue, Ninth Volume of the Encyclopedia! Over and out!
crazy
dweller of the endless plains, so . . . hold your tongue, Ninth Volume of the Encyclopedia! Over and out!
I saved face by running off and closing myself in the office that Juffin and I shared. Since I really am “as jealous as . . . ,” I do wonder “what,” or “whom”?
Sir Juffin Hully joined me after a few minutes.
“Are you sure you can hold out one more night, Max? I can probably do without your help. Only you’ll have to release your bosom buddy. Can you get along without him?”
“Bosom buddy? Oh, Sinning Magicians, Juffin! I completely forgot!”
Now this was amusing: I had grown so used to carrying around Agon the miniscule merchant that I had ceased paying any attention to him at all. “Do you need him now?”
“Not really. You can wait a while if you’re not in any hurry. Lady Sotofa promised to arrive in a few hours. I need Agon to send a call to his captives, all those belted fools. They’ll come to the House by the Bridge and Lady Sotofa will undress them. That’s nothing to her, as you know.”
“In that case, I’m not going anywhere. Lady Sotofa is a queen among women! Don’t you think so?”
Sir Juffin sniffed.
“That she may very well be. Well now, Sir Max. We’ll have some dinner, and you can set your companion free a bit later. You aren’t very anxious to go home, am I right?”
“You know I don’t want to,” I said.
“Excellent. That means that I won’t be the only one who’s dead tired at daybreak. But you know what? Your favorite Elixir of Kaxar can help you for another two or three days. Four if you’re lucky.” Juffin looked at me closely. “Has it ever occurred to you that it would be easier and much more practical to pack up and move, rather than shuffling around Headquarters with your eyes glued shut?”
“No, it didn’t. I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”
“Yes, now and then,” Juffin said smiling. “So do you want to stay in the Old City or move to the New? Then you’d have the chance to demonstrate your chief talent every day—driving the amobiler into the ground.”
“If you need to change things, you should do it all at once. I’ll move to the New City! Somewhere there a sweet lady has opened a tavern. At one point I had the sense to give her the same advice I just heard from you. Funny, isn’t it, how much harder it is to take advice yourself than to give it to other people? By the way, you’re slandering me. I’ve never driven the amobiler so hard it broke down.”
“Not yet, anyway. Here, take the key, and remember this address: 18 Street of Yellow Stones. I tried to find something awful, so you’d think it was cozy.”
“I have a feeling there won’t be fewer than ten bathing pools.”
“Only eight. Of course, there are sometimes fewer, even in the most elegant houses in the New City; but you see, I have principles I find hard to ignore.”
“For certain things you should just say thank you immediately, so that you won’t be kicking yourself later, as Grand Magician Nuflin said.” I had just realized the magnitude of what my boss had done for me. “Juffin, you’re saving me! Do you want me to kiss the hem of your looxi? I see you don’t . . . But when did you have time to arrange all of this?”
“What do you think Silent Speech is for? And the junior officials of the Ministry of Perfect Public Order? Better to eat now than spoil your appetite worrying about trifles. One of the messengers can move your menagerie and other household effects. How about good old Urf? He’s already used to helping you with your household affairs.”
“You’re so wise, and I’m a dolt. You know, I’ll probably keep the house on the Street of Old Coins. I have a pillow fastened somewhere there, a plug in the Chink between Worlds.”
Juffin began to laugh. That’s not the right word for it, though. He let out a guffaw that came from the bottom of his soul, infectious and long. I stared at him blankly. Whence this merriment?
“What a bunch of baloney, Max! Maba was just joking with you. He loves practical jokes. You didn’t have to fasten that pillow to anything. You can take it with you wherever you wish, and continue your activities with the same amount of success. The secret isn’t under the pillow. It’s not even inside the pillow . . . Oh, Max, you’re so funny, you really are!”
“So he was pulling my leg?” I felt a bit embarrassed. Still, I somewhat liked Sir Maba’s joke.
“It’s all right, Juffin. Let there be one more deserted house on the Street of Old Coins. Who knows, maybe I’ll want to return there someday.”
“Time will tell. Now then, release your captive.”
Agon the Merchant, completely discombobulated by his metamorphosis, immediately sent a call to all his comrades in misfortune, after which he went into the detention cell.
I rested my head on the table, exhausted. After all, we were all comrades in misfortune: the fashionable dandies in their gleaming belts, the chefs of the capital sporting the Earring of Oxalla, Melamori and I, and other visitors to the Quarter of Trysts, and the countless dwellers of all Worlds, bound hand and foot by spells, obligations, and destiny.
“It’s not so bad, dear,” Lady Sotofa’s voice jerked me out of my dark whirlpool of homegrown philosophy into the bright world, where fresh kamra and a bracing nightshift awaited me.
I smiled. “As soon as I meet a good person, I find out that her favorite hobby is reading my mind.”
“Why would I need to do that, Max?” The old lady sniffed. “It’s just that you looked wise and mournful, like all boys when they’re thinking about their silly problems. Well, where are your poor devils hiding?”
“You arrived nearly an hour before you promised,” Juffin exclaimed. “So don’t be too hard on us. You’ll have to wait.”
“Oh, what luxury! I can’t remember the last time I had a whole hour to do nothing.”
“Don’t count on having a whole hour. They could start arriving any minute now. What did I tell you? Here comes the first one.”
The first one, by the way, was the same fellow that Kofa and I noticed in the
Irrashi Inn
at the very beginning of this story. Such coincidences do happen.
Irrashi Inn
at the very beginning of this story. Such coincidences do happen.
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