The Strength to Fall (McKinnon Brothers Book 1) (11 page)

“Well, ok, then.” He waved his hands around mocking me. “I was afraid I might lose an eye there for a minute with all your hand gestures, but I have to say it was great to see you smile and so happy about something. Your smile is beautiful. I’d like to see more of it.”

Damn it. Why does he have to say things like that and make him more irresistible to me.

“Thank you,” I said blushing. “Can I have a kiss now?”

“Yes.”

Ozias’ mouth covered mine before I could object. I started to push him away but I couldn’t. I wanted to kiss this man. He’s not playing fair! When he broke for a breath I took my chance to be rational.

“Stop. Ozias. I thought we were going to get to know each other. Talking. Not kissing. We already know you do that well.”

“I do?” he beamed.

“You know you do. I already told you. Can I have my
chocolate
kiss now?”

Reluctantly, he handed me a kiss. I opened it and popped it in my mouth. Oh, chocolate was my weakness. I moaned at the taste. Ozias looked at me like I was crazy.

“What?” I asked.

“Um, I know I’ve never heard one in person, but, you get orgasmic over chocolate.” He laughed.

I felt my cheeks redden. “So I’ve been told.” I laughed. “Sorry, well now you can say you’ve heard that sound in person.” I pushed his shoulder playfully.

“I don’t want to hear that from you over chocolate.” Ozias’ eyes held a heated look.

I choked on my kiss. I grabbed my water and drank half of it. “Ozias….can we talk about something else, please? I want to know you. Seriously. It’s my turn.”

He just nodded. His expression made me feel like a bitch. “Ozias, do you think I’m teasing you?”

“Is that your question?” He looked startled.

“No, not for the game. I want to know though, honestly.”

“No. I don’t. I think we both are feeling something we can’t explain.” He held my hand and turned to me. “Adira, I’m not myself with you. Anyone that knows me, if that saw me with you, they wouldn’t believe it. I don’t talk to women well and only those that I know very, very well. I don’t know what to say and I end up sounding like an ass. Like, I said, I’m not good with people. I can’t explain why I’m so comfortable with you, but I am, and I’m drawn to you like a moth to a flame.”

That was intense. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said, “Ok.”

“What’s your real question?” Ozias asked.

“Let me think…. Oh, I’ve got an easy one. What’s your favorite color, book, and song?”

“What? Why do you get to squeeze so many questions in one turn?” he exclaimed.

“I’m the game master.”

“God, remind me never to play a real game with you.” He joked. “Well, color….green, like sea green, which happens to be the color of your eyes.” He held my gaze a while longer than necessary. “Book, that’s hard because like you, I can’t pick just one. I’ll say, Andy Weir, right now, is one of my favorite authors though. Does that count?” He looked at me and I nodded. “Song, that’s the same as books. I like a little bit of everything from old rock, a little country and I mean just a little, to current hits, mainly rock though. Is that enough for a kiss?”

I unwrapped a kiss and pressed my lips to the tip and handed it to him He swallowed hard then took it. He held it a few seconds before putting it in his mouth. “Now that was teasing,” he said. I just smiled. “So, my question is the same. I know some of your authors, so what’s your favorite color and song?”

“Color…red, but pink is a close second. Songs, same as you. I listen to just about anything if the music and lyrics speak to me. I do like country, but old country is better in my opinion. Musicals, too. Love them! I can’t wait to go to one on Broadway.” I held my hand out. “Kiss please, chocolate this time.” I pointed my finger at him as a warning.

“Turnabout is fair play, Ms. McLeod.” Ozias took the unwrapped kiss, put the base in his mouth and leaned to me with the point of the kiss touching my lips.

My belly clinched. I wrapped my lips around the kiss and sucked it in my mouth. Ozias wiggled his eyebrows at me. He was going to make me break all my rules, it was just a matter of time.

“You’re kryptonite,” I whispered.

He laughed. “Does that make you super girl?”

“No, she’s lame. But if I was a female version of Superman, and they should have a real one, not a cheesy version, then you would be my kryptonite.”

“Not sure how I feel about that analogy. I take it you’re a DC fan? This is your second reference to Superman. I’m more of a marvel man myself. This may be a deal breaker.” He joked.

“No, I’m definitely more of a Marvel fan, but I love Superman. I don’t know, he’s just this alien who doesn’t fit in and he has all these amazing powers but he’s so shy and awkward. He gives me hope that I can find my super powers and overcome what makes me feel alien to this world.” I bit my lip and looked down embarrassed. “That’s stupid I know.”

Ozias’ jaw was tense. “No, it’s not. I understand what you mean. Trust me. I was the quirkiest child you’d ever meet. Few friends, too smart for my peers and most my teachers. My childhood was lonely. I sought comfort in comics. I could relate to most of them. At my father’s insistence after my failure to maintain employment with groups, I was tested and diagnosed with ADHD and mild Asperger’s. It would have been nice to know that as a child although I doubt it would have done any good then. Schools weren’t as knowledgeable about such things at that time.”

“I could relate to comics, too. I don’t feel as crazy knowing you have things you can’t control either. Hey, we’ve gotten off track. My turn, last one. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?”

“Ah, that’s easy. Scotland. I’m fascinated with history, especially my family’s genealogy.” He held his hand out for his prize.

“Me too. I did a project in school on the McLeod Clan once. It was interesting. Hey, you know what? I think I remember the McKinnon Clan’s property being near McLeod’s. I wonder if our clans were enemies or allies. We should research it.” 

“That would be interesting. Let’s do it. So, my last question to you is this.” He paused and that made me nervous. “What music do you listen to when you’re in the elevator?”

I was relieved. I was afraid he would ask me a question about my parents. I didn’t realize I was tensing my shoulders until I felt myself relax. “You’ll laugh, but I’ll tell you anyway.
I Will Survive
by Gloria Gaynor, the 70’s hit.” I smiled.

Ozias through his head back in laughter as he handed me my chocolate. We decided to just relax the rest of the afternoon until Doc returned. I was as nervous as I was interested to hear the rest of his story, the part that directly relates to me. We watched TV and napped on and off on the couch. I am falling for Ozias and falling fast, and that terrified me. I don’t want to think about it too much, until I hear what Doc has to say.

Chapter Seventeen

We decided to order sandwiches from a local restaurant nearby. Ozias called Doc to ask what he wanted. He called in our order then went to pick it up. Doc stayed with Ms. Jo, who was sleeping, but he wanted to make sure she was ok until he came over. I went to the guest room to freshen up. I didn’t really want to hear another emotional story but I needed to hear the rest of this. I needed answers and closure. Then I could decide what to do from there. I heard Ozias call out he was back so I washed my face and went to the dining room. Doc was back too.

“How’s mom?” Ozias asked his dad. I made everyone a glass of wine, even though it didn’t go with the menu it was all Ozias had but water. He must eat out every meal.

“Still sleeping. We’re giving her a small dose of a sleeping pill now. The dementia has progressed faster than we thought it would and has been causing her insomnia and restlessness. She’s much clearer during the day when she sleeps well.” Doc looked so tired in that moment and I felt guilty for judging him before. He has been through so much in his life. I started to feel selfish for forgetting that other people in this life have experienced great loss too.

“Ok, turkey on wheat, lettuce, tomato, mustard and Swiss cheese for Adira.” Ozias passed me my sandwich wrapped in white butcher paper. “Dad, here’s your Reuben and I have the best of all, roast beef on pumpernickel with a little bit of everything.”

I laughed. “Ozias, I love that you are such a foodie. I couldn’t be friends with someone who didn’t love food as much as I do.”

“Says the girl who ordered the most boring sandwich at the table.” He took a big bite and mayo squeezed out on his face.

I grabbed a napkin and wiped the corner of his mouth, balled it up and threw it at him. He caught it in mid-air and tossed it in the garbage can behind him sitting beside the bar. He made the basket, “Two points. I’m awesome. High five!” He put his palm out and I high fived him.

“Lucky shot.” I teased. “I have eaten very heavy, fattening foods the last two days thanks to you. I can’t eat that way all the time, it’ll ruin my hourglass figure.” I batted my eyelashes at him.

He laughed out loud, “Trust me, you have nothing to worry about there.” I blushed and blushed again realizing Doc was staring at us intently. “So, forget about your curves and try these chips. Homemade at the restaurant and so good. Worth a little cellulite.”

“Cellulite! Ozias Boyd McKinnon! You ought to be ashamed of yourself. If you think you have a chance with me, well, you just blew it!” I joked back. I was worried for a moment he wouldn’t know I was joking but then he picked up a chip and help it out to me.

“Again, nothing to worry about there. You’re beautiful,” he said with a serious face.

“I can see what Claire was thinking, why she wanted you to meet, watching the two of you together,” Doc’s confession startled both of us. “You two remind me of the two of us, in the beginning, before loss and greed got in the way. I know you may not believe me because of how I’ve acted since I met you, but you remind me of her, you even resemble her. And your voice is almost identical. It’s all a little surreal to me.” I met Ozias’ eyes and felt heat fill me. Damn, he had such an effect on me.

“Before my parents went away, I was a lot like Aunt Claire. I was not quite as adventurous as she was but I was curious and loved to try new things. Not, much scared me, certainly not elevators.” It angered me I couldn’t win over that fear.

“Adira, there’s treatments for anxiety like that, you know. I know a great psychologist that specializes in biofeedback and holistic therapy. She’s had great success.” Doc offered.

“Thank you. I’ll think about it. I have tried various things at home with some success. Truth is I didn’t have to ride elevators much at home. Mississippi isn’t known for our skyscrapers and I didn’t go to large office buildings often. If I stay here, I’ll ask you for referrals.” I felt Ozias glare at my remark that I may not stay here.

“I hope you stay. You said at least a year, remember?” Ozias used my own words against me.

“You should give it a chance,” Doc said, “It’s obviously what Claire wanted.”

I couldn’t argue with that and there were too many emotions happening right now to make a decision so I just focused on my food and remained silent the rest of the meal.

After dinner we decided to sit outside with our wine and enjoy the beauty of the city lights on the river. There was a slight breeze. It really was beautiful here. When we were all settled in our chairs, me with my ankle propped up with ice, Doc started to tell the rest of the story.

He looked over the balcony, his back to us, like he did inside while retelling his story of meeting Aunt Claire. He seemed to be able to get through this much easier with telling it to the sky than directly at us. I understood that feeling, pain so great you had to look away to be able to even speak. I felt a connection with Doc now and I didn’t feel the anger towards him I did two days ago.

“Ozias, as you know, I’ve worked hard at establishing my practice and being a part of a great orthopedics team the last 29 years. Raising a family, starting my practice, running my father’s business after he passed….it’s been time consuming to say the least. And when Jo started getting sick over a decade ago, life became even harder. I guess Ozias has told you about his mother’s condition?” He looked at me for an answer.

“Yes, yesterday,” I told him.

“Jo was a teacher for years then went back to school for interior design when the boys were in school. She always loved design but her father wouldn’t let that be her major in college, so I was very supportive of her following her dreams. At first, the headaches and hand tremors we thought were stressed induced. I was almost never home in those days. Dad had just died and I was assuming his role in the business as well as my duties at the clinic and hospital. So being a full time student and mother with little help was hard. It was reasonable to believe exhaustion played a factor. That’s when I hired Carla, she had been dad’s caregiver and even though we needed her more as a housekeeper at the time, she had been with our family so long she took the job. Jo graduated, started her business, and worked full time hours.”

“One day while with a client she was walking and just froze. She couldn’t move for several minutes and it scared her. I demanded she see a neurologist at that point but thinking she was way too young for what I feared, Parkinson’s, but the tests confirmed it was early onset Parkinson’s disease.”