The Suicide Project (Rebirth Book 1) (9 page)

I turned back to Sam to see how he was holding up. This evening was turning out to be an emotional doozy. Sam glanced at me and Gideon and exhaled in a long drawn-out sigh before addressing Sergeant Ramsey. “Thank you for telling me about the aftermath, but I think I’m going to adopt Teagan’s viewpoint in all of this. The past is the past and that life is over now. There’s no going back so I’m moving on with whatever future I have here with you guys.”

“Attaboy Sam!” I smiled with approval. “Just stick with me kid, and we’ll go places.” Turning my attention towards Gideon, I studied his guarded expression as it occurred to me that he had been silent for an
awfully
long
time. “Penny for your thoughts?” I murmured quietly to him. Unfortunately everyone present heard my question, so naturally, all eyes swung in Gideon’s direction. I saw his jaw clench and his expression grew stony again as he glared at his knee. The change in his expression spoke volumes to me, and I got the feeling that he didn’t want to rehash the particulars of
his
past. Not that any of us had the energy for it tonight. His next words confirmed my suspicions. Releasing a frustrated sigh, Gideon looked up at us as he practically growled, “I know you think it’s my turn, but I only remember bits and pieces of my story and I don’t really want to talk about it!”

Whoa!
I thought, as Gideon transferred his death glare to each of us in turn. Boy, if looks could kill. I wondered why he was acting so defensive. As I studied him with a critical eye, I realized that I hadn’t ever seen this side of Gideon before. He definitely looked like someone you did
not
want to piss off further in his present mood. Flashing a quick look at Sergeant Ramsey, I snaked my right arm around Gideon’s shoulders and started a gentle neck massage in an effort to calm him down and get him to relax.

“It’s cool Gideon. No worries. You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready. No one’s going to force you to.” I quirked an eyebrow at the others in hopes I wasn’t wrong. Sergeant Ramsey picked up where I left off, in an effort to reassure Gideon.

“Of course no one’s gonna force ya to talk about yer past or yer feelings, or what have you. Don’t be silly Gideon. I know this might sound cheesy but this here group of people in this room is your Circle of Trust. We trust you to come to us whenever you
are
ready to share your story, and you can trust that everyone in this group will listen to you with an open mind and without judgment. Most importantly, we’ll keep everything strictly confidential so the other guys in the program won’t know your individual stories unless you guys decide to share with them. It’s up to y’all who you choose to confide in. Just know that you can come to us at any time, and that we will all accept you the way you are.”

Surprise was an easy emotion to read on Gideon’s face at that moment as he stared at us all in disbelief. “You’re not going to force me to talk about it?”

“Is there an echo in here?” I joked, in order to break the ice some more.

Dr. Duffy clarified for everyone in the room, “It’s not mandatory for you guys to share your stories, but it sure does help a lot for most people to talk about their feelings in order to let go of the past and fully embrace what the future has to offer. It’s a form of closure for some. But not everyone wants to talk about their pasts and we respect your right to keep your past private should you choose to. Nobody here will hold it against you. Just know that if and when you’re ready to talk, there will be multiple people available and willing to listen to you.”

Peeking at Gideon, I saw him blink his eyes a few times to hold back his tears as some indecipherable wave of emotion crossed his face. Glancing around the room, he ended the topic with a simple yet heartfelt “Thank you.”

“Okay y’all, now for the good stuff!” Sergeant Ramsey clapped his hands twice to get our full attention as he stood up from the floor and went to reclaim his original armchair that he had first sat in upon arrival. Dr. Duffy and Jamie followed his lead and sat back down on the sofa across from us. Once seated, Sergeant Ramsey unleashed a broad, toothy grin at us and I honestly couldn’t remember ever having seen him smile that big before. Consequently, I never before noticed how white his teeth were. They stood out in startling contrast to his tan, weathered skin. A sense of anticipation flooded me as I took note of how excited he was. My lips twitched as I watched him rub his hands together with what could only be described as glee.
Spit it out already old man, before you combust!

“What we’re gonna be talkin’ about next is the actual project. You’ve heard me use the term “enhanced with animal DNA” and I’m sure you may be wondering what we may or may not have done to you since y’all got here.” I actually
had
been obsessing about these little unknown details of the experiment and what the hell exactly they injected me with, because I
did
notice little changes in myself. For example, I swear that if I concentrated hard enough I could hear things from far away. Occasionally in the late evenings, I sometimes heard the murmur of distant voices. I could never make out what was being said, only that I heard voices that didn’t belong to either Sam or Gideon.

My sense of smell was a little more sensitive for sure. I never used to have problems with my baby powder-scented deodorant, but lately the scent of it smelled overpoweringly sweet and cloying. It was starting to give me headaches which was why I planned to ask for unscented deodorant as soon as mine ran out. Nowadays, I gravitated towards natural-smelling products which probably accounted for my love of cherry-almond scented body products. The scent was pleasant but subtle.

My vision also changed; I didn’t need to worry about wearing contact lenses anymore because my vision was better than perfect. I also felt, for lack of a better word…..stronger. Like 100% stronger. With all of these intense workouts we had been putting our bodies through, I felt as though I should have suffered from something like shin splints, or sprained a muscle, or suffered
some
type of bodily injury by now. But no. Every morning when I woke up I felt great. It was undeniably awesome, yet at the same time somewhat baffling. I never even suffered from a simple charley horse anymore.
Worst way to wake up ever by the way!

“Up to date, the three of you have each received two injections. The total number of injections you’ll each receive is subjective. We try to limit each test subject to a total of three different
types
of animal DNAs. From past observations, we’ve discovered that the test subjects will usually start to display traits or characteristics of whatever types of animal DNAs we’ve injected into them.”
Huh? Okay…he lost me.

“Judging from the stumped expression on Teagan’s face I’ll try to explain it in simplest terms for y’all.” I tried to ignore the smirk on his face and the indulgent chuckles that burst forth from the Doc and Jamie at our bantering.

Holding up my hand in the air, I countered, “Uhh…excuse me Sergeant Smart Aleck, but these two are just as confused as I am. Their expressions match mine. See?” I gestured to the guys on either side of me as Gideon confirmed, “Yup. I’m so confused.”

“Totally. I’m with them Sir,” agreed Sam.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I raised my eyebrow defiantly at Sergeant Ramsey while waiting for clarification.

Rather than explain further, the sergeant crossed his arms over his chest to mimic my pose as a smile of approval shaped his lips. “You see, this is what I
love
about you three! You have each other’s backs at all times. You three work great together as a team and I’m not afraid to admit that you are my star pupils. I have a lot of faith in you guys and how far you’ll go in this project.” The admiration shining in his eyes was hard to miss and I wondered what his expectations of us would be. Wanting to knock him back on track I teased, “Come on…stop sucking up to us and get to the good stuff already. We’re not getting any younger here,” I pointed out. He just grinned fondly at me for a moment before he finally complied. I exchanged uneasy looks with Gideon before focusing on the sergeant.

“Teagan, you have been injected with canine, black panther, and shark. The traits that we’ve noticed are currently the most dominant in you come from your black panther DNA although you will develop the propensity to display traits of all three animals. I’m sure you’re aware of the heightened physical abilities you now possess, are you not?”
Whoa! Canine, black panther, and shark? Whaaaaat?

Nodding my head in affirmation, I nervously wondered if someone had been observing my nocturnal activities in the gym on the nights when I couldn’t sleep.
Pffft! Of course they would know about that Teagan! Don’t be silly. They know all and see all up in this joint.
Even Gideon and Sam didn’t know about my occasional insomnia and weren’t aware that I wandered the buildings at night when sleep eluded me. Knowing the sergeant and his uncanny ability to predict whatever I may be thinking, I just bit my lip and returned his steady gaze while I waited for him to proceed.

Grinning knowingly at me he added, “We’ve noticed that sometimes you have trouble sleeping and the camera’s show that you always end up in the gym. Would you like to explain to the others what you were doing there on those nights?”
G’ah!! How does he do that?!
I felt the combined weight of everyone’s curious stares and sighed as I wondered how I was going to explain this without making me look like a psycho. I felt Gideon nudge me impatiently three times in a row on my right as I tried to collect my thoughts. Playing along, Sam started nudging me on my other side over and over again. I’m sure they were dying to know what the Sergeant was hinting at. Helplessly, I rolled my eyes and started to laugh at their silly antics. I appreciated them trying to put me at ease though. There was no point in worrying about coming off as weird, I reasoned to myself, because this whole freakin’ conversation was a weird one to begin with. There was definitely an ominous vibe in the air, and I was overcome with the anticipation that we all hovered on the precipice of something truly epic.

“Okay…yeah… so…sometimes I can’t sleep,” I shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal, but internally I knew it was because I still struggled with missing my family. Truly, I was all kinds of messed up inside.

“On those nights, I don’t want to disturb you guys while you’re sleeping so I go for a walk. And yes—for some reason I always end up at the gym. One night I was just goofing off and decided to test my agility because by that point, I already felt that my body was different somehow but I couldn’t put my finger on what had changed.”

Shooting a guilty look at Sam and Gideon, I added, “I didn’t voice my concerns about my body changing to you guys, just in case it happened to be my imagination. Besides, how could I possibly begin to explain something that I, myself didn’t understand? Anyways, In the gym there’s that big rope that hangs from the ceiling close to the East wall, and I got it in my head that if I ran at the wall full speed and catapulted myself off of it, I might be able to spring off the wall far enough to reach the rope. That first night I wasn’t even close. From that point on, whenever I had insomnia I’d practice catapulting myself off of the wall. For some strange reason I kept thinking that I could do it. I could actually see it happening in my mind when I envisioned it. I was like a dog with a bone, I just wouldn’t let it go.”

Abruptly I stopped talking as that last sentence I uttered suddenly registered in my brain. The Sergeant said I had canine DNA in me.
Oh shit!
Was this a new trait for me? Hmm… No, I’m pretty sure I’ve always been tenacious by nature. I frowned, biting my lip as I pondered what it meant to have canine DNA in my body. The sound of laughter startled me as everyone watched the play of emotions on my face.

“Man…you are
so
easy to read Teagan. You seriously need to work on your poker face,” Gideon laughed as he teased me.

Sighing exasperatedly, I continued on. “Anyhoo, one night as I was practicing I finally did it!” Excitement laced my voice as I confessed to doing something that should’ve been physically impossible. “I think for a minute there I was in shock and couldn’t believe that I had actually done it. Just to double check, I tried it again and was able to reach the rope the second time!” I couldn’t help the broad grin of pride that spread across my lips at the memory. I turned to Gideon to scout his reaction and saw his look of awe as he stared back at me. “Seriously?” he questioned. I just laughed and happily nodded my head.

“Every time I’ve been to the gym in the evenings since then, I’ve been practicing jumping farther distances just to see if I can do it.”

“Damn. I wish I could’ve seen that Teagan. I’m having a hard time picturing it in my head because the rope and the wall are spaced so far apart from each other.” I heard the wonderment in Gideon’s voice and felt giddy as my mind whirled with the possibilities of what else we could physically accomplish with our bodies.

“No worries Gideon. Ask and you shall receive!” Sergeant Ramsey was Johnny-on-the spot as he reached behind him and pulled out a notebook that I hadn’t noticed he had brought with him. Cackling with excitement like a crazy man, he carefully extracted a small cd and bounded across the room to insert the disc into our DVD player.
Seriously?? Please don’t tell me he actually has a video of me running around the gym!
I was sort of freaking out inside, but at the same time I couldn’t help but be curious to see what was captured on film. Why was the Sergeant so damn happy about it? I guess we were all about to find out. As if it weren’t bad enough having to speculate what was on the cd… we were going to watch my “performance” on the
big screen
television. After hitting the “play” button, Sergeant Ramsey dimmed the lights before darting back to his seat. All of us focused on the screen as the video began to play.

On the screen, my image appeared at the entrance to the gym, and the camera showed me turning on the portable stereo I had brought with me before eyeing the rope by the East wall. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say the video was about a month old because of what the video showed next. I watched myself take a deep breath before I began sprinting the entire length of the gym towards the back wall at full speed. When I was about two feet away and it looked like I was going to smack hard into the wall, I suddenly jumped at the very last minute. My feet ran
up
the wall several steps before I twisted in mid-air and pushed off with my legs with all my strength. My body then looked like it actually soared about 10 feet towards the rope like a flying squirrel. I ignored the combined gasps from Sam and Gideon on either side of me because I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the screen. Not to sound cocky or anything, but I had to admit that I looked pretty damn impressive on camera.
Doing it
, and
seeing it
were two completely different experiences, and I was mesmerized by my own image.