The Three (7 page)

“Okay,” Elin soothed. “Both of you stop apologizing. Nobody meant for that to happen. There are no hard feelings, right?”

“Right.” Anna remained within Elin’s embrace, too exhausted to even think about moving away anymore.

After a moment, Kael added his agreement. “Right.”

Elin gave each of them a tender smile. “Breakfast is ready. Can you go back to the fire and take care of it, Kael? We’ll be there in a few minutes, okay?”

“Right. No problem.” Kael got to his feet and brushed his hands over the seat of his jeans. He hesitated a moment, then said, “I really am sorry, Anna. I never want to make you feel unsafe like that.”

Anna tipped her head in acknowledgement. Her entire body burned with her humiliation. “It’s not your fault,”

she said, voice breaking. “Please, let’s just forget it, okay?”

“Okay.” Kael gathered his things and exited the clearing without another word.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elin asked after they were left alone.

“No.” That’s not something I talk about.

“Have you ever talked about it?”

A bead of sweat rolled down Anna’s spine, tickling her back. She shifted within the circle of Elin’s arms.

“No.”

“Maybe it would help.” Elin rubbed one hand over Anna’s side, while the other combed through her hair.

“Do you think?”

“I can’t.” Anna closed her eyes, shuddering at the idea of putting words to the images that still assaulted her so many months later. “I can’t right now, Elin.” Her panic began to rise again, forcing her breathing to come out in harsh gasps.

“Shh.” Elin pressed her lips to Anna’s forehead. “It’s okay, baby. Really. I was just asking. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. But if you ever do—”

“It’ll be you.” Anna eased out of Elin’s lap, and they both stood.

“Do you want to visit the stream and clean up before you come to breakfast?” Elin asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Okay. We’ll see you back at the campsite.”

Anna stopped Elin from leaving with a hand on her arm. “Elin, could you…tell Kael again that I’m sorry?”

Elin caressed the side of Anna’s face with her hand. “You have nothing to be sorry about, baby. I will make sure that he’s all right, though. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks.”

Minutes later, Anna felt refreshed enough to consider rejoining her friends and crept through the forest, lost in thought. I’ve never had a flashback that bad before. Nightmares, sure, but never something like that. I felt like it was happening all over again.

Approaching the campsite, she heard Elin’s voice first. She couldn’t make out the words, but the tone was low, soothing, and insistent. With her emotion still close to the surface, fear sent her slipping into stealth mode and she slowed her steps and tiptoed closer, peering through the branches to see what was going on before she made her presence known.

She saw Elin first, facing Kael, and for a moment Anna could only see his boots, planted on the ground on either side of Elin’s legs. Then Elin moved, revealing Kael sitting on a rolled double sleeping bag with his head in his hands. From where Anna was standing, she could see the almost uncontrollable trembling of Kael’s fingers where they were pressed against his shaven scalp. Tears slid down his cheeks unchecked, drawing a silent gasp from Anna.

Elin knelt down and encircled Kael’s broad shoulders with one arm, leaning her head against his, speaking to him in a low voice that Anna couldn’t hear. Is this because of me? she wondered, thunderstruck. She knew her breakdown must have been startling for Kael, but she’d never dreamed the depth of the effect it would have on him. I never could have imagined Kael losing control like this. Over anything.

Kael shook his head at something Elin said. “I’ll be okay,” he said, loud enough for Anna to hear. “I just…it triggered so much—”

Elin placed her whole hand on top of Kael’s head, caressing his shaven scalp with her palm. She kept whispering and trailed a string of kisses along his jaw.

His posture was tense, ramrod straight. “I wanted to comfort her so bad, but I couldn’t—”

Anna couldn’t hear the rest and blushed when Kael captured Elin’s mouth in a long, slow kiss. She crept backwards into the woods, then rustled leaves and stomped around as she approached their campsite. By the time she walked into the clearing, Elin was tending to breakfast and Kael was sitting on the rolled sleeping bag with stoic eyes pinned on the fire.

“Ready to eat, Anna?” Elin greeted her with an affectionate smile.

Anna nodded and gave Kael a nervous glance. “Yeah. Your man over there worked up my appetite, kicking my ass.”

The corner of Kael’s mouth twitched in amusement. “I don’t know. You got a couple of good hits in there. I think my belly is going to ache all day.”

“As long as you don’t blame breakfast,” Elin said playfully.

Anna chuckled, dropping down to sit beside the fire. “It looks great,” she said, as Elin spooned breakfast into the plastic bowls they carried with them. Rabbit again, and fresh vegetables they’d snagged from a field. “You know, maybe if Kael gets good enough with that bow, we could have deer for dinner sometime.”

Kael lifted his head. “That would be awesome.” He shot her a smile full of grateful wonder. “You’re right. I bet I could totally do that.”

Elin frowned. “But deer are so cute.”

“And tasty,” Anna said, sharing a knowledgeable nod with Kael.

Elin scowled. “Well, I’m not cleaning it.”

“That’s fine. I’ve got to be good for something around here. Kael can shoot it, I can clean it, and you can enjoy the fruits of our labors.”

“Because we love you,” Kael said.

Anna gave Elin a serious nod. “It’s true.”

Elin handed Kael his bowl, and Anna hers, then picked up her fork with a resigned sigh. “All right. Go kill your deer. You boys,” she said, and turned to Anna, “and warriors…I’ll never understand you.”

By instinct, Anna turned to share a conspiratorial grin with Kael. As their eyes met, she saw recognition in his, the knowledge of what she was thinking, and he opened his gaze to her, truly, for the first time since she had known him. She read such depth of emotion, such sorrow and quiet empathy, that her heart momentarily stopped in her chest. They both broke their gaze then, turning to listen to Elin as she launched into a story about the book she was reading.

She was living it again. That day.

She saw the blue sky, smelled the acrid smoke as their belongings burned. She heard the screams of the women who were being attacked and captured by the large group of men who had raided their community.

She felt the thrum of combat in the ground beneath her feet. The fighters of her tribe were locked in a fierce struggle with men carrying weapons. There were more than twenty of the raiders.

She was one of only nine trying to protect her people. She carried a wooden baseball bat. It was the only weapon she had ever used in training. She gripped it with her right hand, so hard that her knuckles turned white with tension. Next to her, Pete Jamison grunted as a bearded man thrust a long blade into his gut.

Scared blue eyes found hers as the light went out of them.

She was overtaken, not killed. One blow to the back of her head that drove her to her knees, then a backhanded punch across the face that sent her to the ground. She didn’t even recall being moved away from the fighting.

The sky was so blue. It was the first thing she saw when she regained consciousness. Blue sky, tree branches and leaves above her. Then a sneering face looking down at her with an ugly grin, and then another one. She closed her eyes, cold fear clutching at her belly. She knew what was going to happen.

She thought she could endure it, stoic and silent. She was wrong.

Anna jerked awake with a panicked gasp, cold sweat beaded on her hairline. She half-sat in her sleeping bag, caught somewhere between waking and dreaming. Nightmare images merged with reality for a long moment, pulling her eyes to the surrounding trees in a desperate scan for enemies. The breath she’d been holding escaped from her mouth in a pathetic whimper, a foreign noise that shocked her into awareness.

Elin knelt beside her. “You’re awake?” she whispered.

It took Anna a beat to nod. “I hope so.”

“Do you want some water?”

“Please,” she croaked, embarrassed.

Elin crawled away, then returned with a canteen of water. She gave it to Anna and scooted over to sit with her on her sleeping bag.

“Is this okay?” She eased a careful arm around Anna’s waist.

“Wonderful.” Anna put the canteen down after a couple of deep gulps, not wanting to take a trip to the bushes in the still-dark night. She sat in silence and worked on steadying her breathing, still keyed up from the nightmare and the emotional turmoil of the past day and a half.

“Do you think you can get back to sleep?” Elin stroked Anna’s side and back through her T-shirt, tracing random designs with her fingers.

Anna relaxed into the contact. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Would it help if I stayed?”

Warmth rushed through Anna’s body at the affection in Elin’s gaze. “You need your sleep. We don’t want to both be dead on our feet tomorrow because I had a nightmare.”

“I could sleep next to you.”

Anna bit her lip, overcome by Elin’s offer. She glanced over at the lump Kael made in their double sleeping bag. “That’s okay, Elin. I think Kael would miss you.”

Elin gave her a sweet smile. “Kael would want me to be here with you tonight. Trust me.”

Anna looked over to Kael again, this time glimpsing shining eyes in the darkness before he rolled over onto his back. To Elin, she murmured, “I’d like that. Very much.”

“Come on, then.” Elin took the canteen from Anna’s lap and placed it on the ground. “Let’s see if we can both squeeze into this sleeping bag.”

Anna flushed at Elin’s words. She didn’t even have the presence of mind to hide her expression of dazed arousal, drawing a soft giggle from Elin.

“Lie down, baby,” Elin said. “I’m looking forward to holding you, too.”

Anna moved to the very edge of her blankets to make room, and Elin crawled under the thick material and turned on her side. She wrapped her arm around Anna’s middle, pulling her close. Soft breasts pressed against her back and warm hips cradled her bottom. Anna released a deep sigh, desire mingling with comfort to create a pleasant heat in her belly. She twitched in surprise when Elin brushed the hair away from her neck to drop a gentle kiss on her shoulder.

“Nobody’s going to hurt you anymore,” Elin whispered.

The way she said it, Anna almost believed her. Not knowing how to respond, she pushed her bottom backwards in an effort to get even closer. Elin pressed her palm flat against Anna’s belly, drawing her near, and a moment later, Anna felt a careful leg ease its way between her calves. She lifted one leg slightly, and Elin slipped her thigh between Anna’s, entangling them in a thorough embrace.

“This feels so good,” Anna murmured some time later. “I never thought I would feel anything like this.”

Elin nuzzled her earlobe. “Just wait until you get to the really good parts.”

Anna broke into a grin and felt her face glow with embarrassment. She really didn’t know what to say to that, so she said nothing.

“Has anyone ever held you before?” Elin asked.

Anna shook her head. “Garrett and I hugged a few times. It always felt a little awkward. My uncle really wasn’t affectionate.”

“I’m sorry,” Elin said as she kissed Anna’s earlobe again. “I’ll be sure to remedy that in the future. Deal?”

Anna beamed out at the trees. “Deal.”

In the silence that followed, Anna had time to think. She didn’t dare close her eyes, afraid of what she might see if she did. The memories were just below the surface of every thought she had, every breath she took. She sighed in frustration.

“Do you want to talk?” Elin asked in a whisper, and tightened her arm around Anna. “About anything.”

“I don’t know how to talk about it,” Anna admitted in a broken whisper. She had never wanted to talk about it before, but something in the safety of Elin’s arms almost had her willing to go there.

“Take your time. Say whatever you want to say.”

“I should be over it by now.” Anna stared out at the dark forest with a sad smile. “You know what happened, right?”

“I have a good idea.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like I’m the first woman to go through that.”

“That doesn’t make it any less horrible.”

“It was always this specter hanging over my head, you know?” She kept her voice low, not wanting Kael to overhear them. “It was the reason I never strayed far from my tribe alone. But when it actually happened, I just lay there at first. It was like I just couldn’t believe it.”

Elin stroked Anna’s belly. “I can’t imagine.”

“I don’t want you to even try. I never want you to know.” Anna shook her head, frustrated with her inability to express her jumbled emotions. “I had no idea what it would be like. I thought it would be just another injury, a battle scar. I thought I would be able to handle it better.”

“Even the strongest people…that’s a lot more than a simple injury. It doesn’t matter how strong you are, Anna, it’s going to hurt. It can hurt for a long time. Please believe me that everyone, even the strongest person you could imagine, would hurt after that.”

Anna closed her eyes, letting her mind travel back in time. Her nightmare. That day. “They were so mad at me. I fought with a baseball bat then, too, and I killed one of their companions. Hit him right in the head. I heard his skull crack.”

Elin flinched, and for a moment Anna was frightened that her innocent friend would pull away from her in revulsion. Instead, she tugged Anna closer. “Had you ever killed someone before?”