The Tome of Bill (Book 6): Half A Prayer (10 page)

As they neared my location, more shapes entered the tunnel behind them - misshapen creatures with eyes of pure orange fury.

Oh, shit!

I scrambled to unlock the gate while screaming over my shoulder, “Sally, we have incoming!”

The loud boom of the trapdoor opening above indicated she had raced up the ladder to the club. Hopefully, she was hauling ass for reinforcements, because the creatures were gaining. Goddamn, for stupid rock monsters, they sure could move fast when they wanted to.

“Come on, come on,” I muttered, simultaneously to our people and to myself while struggling with the heavy lock. I managed to swing open the gate just as the vamps reached it. Kristofer and his crew dove through, and I slammed it shut again, managing to lock it just as the group of angry Jahabich crashed into it. The entire structure shook, but it had been built to last - heavy steel, sunk deep into concrete.

“Close, but no cigar, fuckers!” I stepped back from the gate, not wanting to tempt fate. “You guys okay?” I asked over my shoulder a second before the mildewy smell of the creatures reached my nose.

“
Yes, we are more than okay now
,” a gravelly voice responded.

What the?

My blood turned even colder than usual as I spun to find Kristofer and the other two vamps standing there smiling. Sadly, gone were their normal white fangs and teeth. Black spears of obsidian jutted out in their place.

Oh, fuck!

For a moment, I just stood there, trying to absorb what had just happened. The faces the creatures wore seemed to melt away, reforming into their native shapes. Their heads tripled in size and their mouths grew to accommodate the stalagmites that passed as their teeth. Their eyes sank in until a strange orange glow, like a fire burning somewhere deep inside, replaced them. Perhaps worst of all was seeing their fingers thicken and consolidate until their arms ended in heavy, jagged clubs.

Yeah, this day had just taken a turn for the worse.

Why is it always on my watch?

Three on one sucked, but thankfully I’d locked the gate. I risked a glance over my shoulder...oh, fuck - it was much better than
a lot
against one.

How the hell had this happened? We’d seen these things assume the shape of people before, but never of anyone we knew.

Alas, any such answers weren’t forthcoming as the nearest of the beasts swung its arm club. I sidestepped in the nick of time to watch it clank off the gate behind me, sending up a shower of sparks that I was surprised didn’t catch my hair on fire.

“You’re supposed to yell ‘It’s clobberin’ time!’ first.”

“
You are the Freewill
,” one of them said in that rock-salt gargling voice of theirs. “
We will enjoy you
.”

Enjoy me? Why did that sound like it had a sick sexual undertone to it? Well, fuck that shit. I wasn’t into being pegged by giant talking dildos.

The creature came at me again and its buddies decided to join it this time. My only chance was to survive long enough for Sally to get back with reinforcements.

These things might’ve had twice the girth of linebackers, but fortunately, they weren’t overly tall - barely Sally’s height. That gave me at least something to work with.

I backed up a step to the gate. The creatures beyond bellowed with rage, but the openings in it were too narrow for them to reach their appendages through. They weren’t too small for me to get a foothold on, though. I planted a sneaker and kicked off, using my awesome undead strength to propel myself up over the ugly heads of the monsters in the room. I doubted I’d score a perfect ten on the landing, but it would give me some breathing room to maneuver while...

...while I got properly fucked.

* * *

Three things happened nearly simultaneously. A gunshot sounded, the report deafening in the enclosed area. Sparks flew as something ricocheted off of the furthest creature’s back, and then fire exploded in my gut as the bullet decided I’d make a much more impressive target - airborne as I was.

It wasn’t heavy caliber - another of the 9mm weapons we’d been training with, but it certainly ruined any chance I had of sticking the landing. I hit the slick concrete floor with a meaty thud as I clenched up into a ball to keep my innards from leaking out.

“Oh, fuck!” Ed cried. “I’m sorry, Bill.”

“Don’t mention it,” I croaked, silently thanking several pantheons Sally didn’t insist on practicing with anything bigger.

I would’ve said more, but one of the Jahabich brought its arm down onto my shoulder in a crushing blow, shattering my collar bone and decimating several square feet of skin from my body. Man, and I kinda liked this shirt too.

Risking a glance up, I saw the creature raise its arm again. Who’d a thunk it? After all the bullshit - after Jeff, Turd, Alex, Vehron, even Gan - a stupid pile of masonry was going to do me in. I was sure somewhere those blind seers that had made all those bullshit prophecies about me were laughing their eyeless asses off.

I braced myself, hoping the sensation of my skull caving in wouldn’t hurt too much. Then, just as the creature brought down the massive club of an appendage, it shape-shifted again. It was only partial, but it morphed its hand back into that of a human. It reached down, dug into my pants pocket, got a wee bit too personal with my junk, then found what it was looking for and pulled back, its prize in hand: the key to the fucking gate.

I actually found myself rooting for them to finish me off because if Sally caught wind of this, I’d have to hear about it for a long time to come.

* * *

The thieving Jahabich smiled down at me, the meaning clear - it meant to open the gate and let its buddies in to have all sorts of smashy fun with my skull.

Just then, another shot sounded. Oh, shit! Was Ed trying to finish the job he’d started on me?

Instead, the bullet hit the monster right in one of its glowing orange eyes. The creature’s head snapped back and it roared. Unfortunately, it was more of a cry of rage than an “I’m about to die like a good defeated foe” sound. It was hard to tell if any real damage had been done, but even so, Ed’s bullet bouncing around in its skull had definitely pissed it off good and proper.

Sadly, the nearest projectile to hurl at my roommate just so happened to be me. The Jahabich delivered a massive kick to my midsection with its cinderblock of a foot, pretty much ensuring a liquid diet in my near future.

I flew across the room, causing Ed to dive out of the way lest I use him as a human air cushion to stop my flight. Once again, I found myself slamming into the wall, this time at a much greater velocity. I had the briefest glimpse of my blood splattering out in a Rorschach pattern before ending up face down on the ground.

My roommate was there in a split second. “Are you okay?”

“Nothing three months in a body cast won’t cure,” I mumbled as his hands grasped me under the shoulders and begin to haul me into a sitting position. Normally you’re not supposed to move trauma victims until the EMTs arrive. However, I doubted any ambulances were on the way. Besides, those rules kind of went out the window where vampires were concerned. We could absorb a massive amount of punishment and still bounce back. The only problem was it all still hurt like a motherfucker.

As he propped me up against the wall, I happened to glance back toward our attackers.

Oh, shit!

The two other creatures who’d slipped by my defenses were headed our way. Guess they weren’t taking any chances. Behind them, the first one, arm still human - and looking pretty fucking ridiculous sticking out of its nearly spherical stone body - was busy unlocking the Gate.

Double shit!

“Get out of here,” I said to Ed, my voice stronger as my healing finally began to kick in. “They want me.”

Instead of running like he should have, he turned and took aim with the inadequate weapon again.

“That won’t work, stupid.”

“You got a better idea?”

“He doesn’t, but I do,” a voice called down from the open trapdoor above us. It was Sally, and she wasn’t alone. All right!

She jumped the distance to the floor, landing nimbly. In her hands she held a sledgehammer that looked massive next to her small frame.

The first creature reached her and she swung with everything she had, connecting with the side of its head and sending shards of rock flying everywhere. The beast staggered back and she turned to face the second one.

Figures began to descend the ladder. Judging by the mystical symbols on the robe one of them wore, we were finally bringing some real firepower to this fight. Sally wasn’t trying to win, just keeping the opening clear for the big guns to make it down.

There wasn’t much I could do yet to help her, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t provide assistance in my own way.

“Go, She-Thor!” I yelled. What? Cheerleading is a perfectly acceptable backup solution in a fight.

The mage made it to the bottom of the ladder, steadied himself, and shouted something that sounded like “
Magnos Ignise
!”

Sally immediately hit the floor as a wave of red hot energy lanced out from the wizard and struck the two monsters. One was hit head on and immediately fused into the world’s ugliest sculpture. The other monster was somewhat luckier and managed to dodge enough so that only the right side of its body caught the full effect. Even so, it was obviously out of the fight; its legs melted to the floor and half its body cauterized solid.

Sadly, any victory we might have experienced was short lived as the last of the invaders managed to unlock the gate and swing it wide open.

One moment, it looked like we were about to win, and in the next, a tidal wave of living stone began rushing toward us.

There was no doubt in my mind this was a planned offensive. In the months since I’d been with Pandora Coven, nearly all of our run-ins with the Jahabich had been in small numbers - never more than three at a time - which was good because three of them were difficult enough. No way was this just a random incursion.

It was hard to tell from where I sat, as all I saw was a wall of granite advancing on our position, but I was pretty sure at least ten more of them swarmed through the gate. It wasn’t quite an army, but I suspected it was more than they needed to get the job done. Whatever happened next, I had a feeling the subbasement was now lost to us.

The mage managed to flash-fry another of the things before three more got past his defenses and were upon him - clubbing and biting. They shredded him almost instantly. It was a gruesome way to go. Sadly, there wasn’t time for a proper eulogy. Hell, we’d all be next if we didn’t get the fuck out of there fast.

Sally swung the sledgehammer in a violent arc. She struck one of the monsters full on, knocking its teeth right the fuck out. Goddamn, she was hot.

Unfortunately, she was about to be flanked too. Screw that shit. No fucking way was that happening on
my
watch.

“Get up the ladder,” I growled at Ed as I pushed myself to my feet. Thankfully, my healing had kicked in enough so that I didn’t immediately fall back down on my ass.

One of the creatures swung, trying to coldcock Sally in the back. I threw myself at it in a dive tackle, taking it in the midsection with my shoulder.

It was like running into a brick wall, but thankfully, I had momentum on my side. I shredded more skin in the process, but managed to knock the creature off balance.

I put a hand on Sally’s shoulder and she immediately spun, still on the attack. Fortunately, I saw it coming and ducked before she could crack my skull like a melon.

“Let’s go,” I said, trying to avoid letting on how close I was to shitting myself.

“We have to hold...”

“We can’t defend like this. Up the ladder,
now!
” I’d completely disrespected her authority in front of whatever eyeballs happened to be looking down upon us, but I didn’t give a single shit. She could always kick my ass later to save face if she needed to. For now, we had to move.

Multiple beams of red-hot magical fury rained down from the open trapdoor. Upon seeing their fellow mage fall beneath the rampaging Jahabich, the rest of Sally’s reinforcements had hightailed it back upstairs - smartly so. Once there, they’d thankfully regrouped so as to give us cover fire, quite literally. In the past, I’d had some not-so-great dealings with wizards, but right then, I would have gladly kissed each and every one of them - and we’re talking tongue too.

“Ed, up first!” I commanded.

“I’m not...”

“You’re the squishiest one down here. Get upstairs or I’ll club your ass myself.”

He looked down at his gun for a nanosecond as if contemplating getting a few more shots off, but then thought better of it. Thank goodness! I wasn’t keen on taking any more ricochets for the team.

He got to the ladder and began making his way up it. The wizards continued firing from above, but their death beams were more spaced out so as to not hit any of us in the crossfire.

Sadly, the Jahabich hadn’t received the memo about the rules of war. When the enemy lays down cover fire, you’re supposed to duck. Instead, they continued to push forward.

I punched one in the side of the head, probably doing more damage to my hand than anything, while Sally managed to club the shit out of another with her hammer. Just then, one swung a haymaker. I jumped back, the blow just missing taking my nose clean off, but Sally wasn’t so lucky. The creature’s club-like arm clonked her near the top of the head, nearly scalping her in the process. Blood flowed freely, and she went down hard.

Motherfucker!

“Goddamnit!” a voice cried from above.

“Don’t...” But my warning came too late. Ed leapt off the ladder and landed beside me.

I love my roommates like brothers; they are truly the best. But Jesus Christ, what a pair of dumbasses they could be!

Oh well, there’d be time to bitch him out later. We knelt where Sally lay dazed and each grabbed an arm to haul her up.

Positioning her at the ladder, I said, “If you’re in there, Sally, get your sweet ass climbing.” With that, I hauled back and gave her a hard slap on the rear to get her moving. I was gonna pay for that one, but it was worth it if we all lived. Also, damn, she really did have a tight little bottom.