The Tour (3 page)

Both Devon and Manny walk toward the police car, and I’m watching to see if they put handcuffs on them. I mean, why would they pat them down and take their guns unless they’ve—unless they’ve used them? Unless they—shot those guns.

Unless the only other person who hasn’t come down in a gurney didn’t come down because there’s no reason to take her out in an ambulance.

A female officer walks up to me as I’m piecing it all together. “Mia Phoenix,” she says.

“Is she dead?” I ask. “Katharina?”

“Can you come down to the station with us?”

“I need to go to the hospital with my little sister. I’m her guardian,” I say.

“Your sister is not in any danger,” she says, her voice too calm, like she’s cushioning me from the truth. “We need to get a better understanding about what happened tonight,” she says, decidedly.

“Is Kolton going to be okay?”

“As I said, I need to ask you a few questions.”

“My sister, Kolton, and Deloris—who are my only family—are all going to a hospital. Can you imagine what we’ve just been through—and, oh my God, I don’t know—” I’m crying in short bursts of words, probably barely audible. “I need a ride over there or I’m not saying a word to you. I need to make sure they’re okay. Then we’ll talk.”

When she doesn’t say anything, I start pacing. I wish I could just drive myself, but I don’t have the keys to the Audi. And Manny and Devon are both inside the cop car. At least they’re not in handcuffs. That’s when I remember the media’s already here. And I think about how Kolton told me they would always be there, especially when I didn’t want them to be. I clutch my arms around my stomach to ease the knots forming there, twisting and turning, making me ache for some type of normal.

“Please. Just get me out of here. I need to be with Riley.” I feel so exposed and open. It reminds me of standing on the grass—of the flames reaching up and out like orange snake tongues, sinister and life stealing. And of the loss that’s still ever present, which will always be so unmistakable in Riley’s and my life.

How could I not be reminded of that? Maybe that’s what she wanted. To hurt me like she was hurting. So, in that way, she’s won.

“Okay,” she relents, glancing at me with the saddest note in her eyes. “I’ll take you to the hospital first.”

As we drive away from the Wilshire Thayer, I think about Katharina Inez, still upstairs, and a chill runs up my spine. I know it’s an evil thought, but the depraved justice-seeking part of me hopes she’s not going to be around anymore to lie about me, stalk us. But if she’s dead, I don’t know how we’ll get over this. I just don’t know.

I close my eyes to shut out the last moment I saw her. A flash of Kolton being wheeled out on a stretcher smacks me right in the heart. What happened to him up there? I mean, this…it changes everything. I relive seeing Riley, doe-eyed and stunned, and Deloris falling into my arms. Is Deloris going to stay with us after all of this?

Riley’s going to be devastated if Deloris leaves.

And Manny and Devon. What’s going to happen to them? Are they going to be arrested? They were doing their job—protecting Kolton.

For now, all I can do is watch the brick building turn into a memory in the rearview mirror as I try to calm the shaking of my hands and the voices in my head that say it’s not going to be okay.

It’s a Secret

I
think she said something to me—the cop—but I can’t understand anything she’s saying. I feel like I’m in a tunnel and spinning down some deep, dark hole… alone.

I’m shivering like I do when I’m having an anxiety attack, and I’m sitting on my hands, trying to keep them still. The shaking, it happens whenever I think about the fire that took my parents and left me with scars on my feet and ankles.

From where I sit, I can’t see the still-red, tainted skin because the car is dark, but I know they’re there, like a secret you hold it in and it festers. They’re itching from when I stepped in the accelerant; they are a constant reminder of the darkest day, the longest night. When we pull up to the parking lot and follow the red emergency sign at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, I get out and run toward the entrance. My feet are bare on the black asphalt which is still warm from having the hot LA sunlight on it all day, even in the winter.

The moment I’m out of the car, I’m lit up by photographers, as well as the hum of reporters asking me what happened. I want to scream,
I don’t fucking know!
Instead, I allow the female officer to help shield me from the life-vampires making their living off our trauma.

I burst through the glass doors and see that, in Beverly Hills, emergency rooms are upmarket and subtly stylish. The front desk is first class and it puts me in my place causing me to hesitate. The lady at the desk begins to ask if I need help.

“My sister, Riley. Deloris. Kolton.” I’m out of breath, and that’s all I can say.

A knowing look crosses her face. “Mia Phoenix, come with me.” She motions for me to walk toward the long hallway down the extra shiny white floors. “I’ll take you to your sister,” she says. “She’s in the same room as—”

“Deloris?”

“Yes, we don’t need to keep Riley. She’s fine—her carbon monoxide levels were normal, showing she didn’t inhale much smoke. Deloris is being held for treatment. Her levels were high, and we needed to give her oxygen.”

“What about Kolton?”

She says nothing but shakes her head and takes me along, passing the soothing green walls and intermittent curtains, and into one of the rooms. Deloris is lying down, eyes closed, and Riley is sitting in the chair beside her. There’s a police officer standing at the end of the bed. Waiting.

When I walk a step more, Riley looks up and darts out of the chair, and then her arms are around my waist. I run my hands through her long blonde hair and feel her little body shaking from the release of tears. I hold her while I speak to the nurse who brought me in. “Is Deloris okay?” I ask.

She nods and ushers Riley and me out past the curtain. “Do you have any shoes?” she asks me.

“I—?” I’m shaking my head ‘no’.

“You can’t walk through the hospital without shoes,” she says and I’m dumbfounded. She walks back to the desk, and I’m seething, nerves making my face hot, when she comes back carrying some green booties. “You could step in blood, or God knows what, and get sick. Skin absorbs a lot more than we think, being our largest organ.”

Yes. I remember being drugged at the nightclub by a guy putting LSD on my hand the night that I went out with the other contestants from the show, and I’m grateful for something to cover my feet. I let go of Riley long enough to snap the elastic on my heels.

Once she sees that I’ve done as I was told she continues, “Deloris came in having significant smoke inhalation symptoms. We’re measuring for levels of carbon monoxide with the CO-oximeter.”

“Okay,” I agree.

“That’s not always as dependable so we took blood,” she explains and I nod. “We’re waiting for those results now and then we’re going to take her to get imaged with a series of chest radiographs before moving her to an observation room for the next thirty-six to forty-eight hours. There’s probably nothing to worry about as she’s asymptomatic now, but we need to watch her. She’s very shaken up. The officer is talking to her now that your sister’s with you. Once they’re done talking, we’re going to take her for the images.”

“Okay. What about Kolton?”

“Listen. I’ve already given you more than I should. You’re not family.”

“Excuse me? I’m his girlfriend. He’s going to be irate when he finds out you’re leaving me in the dark.” Her lips purse together and her eyes darken a little.

“He’s in surgery.”

“For what?” I ask, panicking, remembering the blood as it fell into my hands. When I look down, I can still see some of it, dried and black, embedded in the creases of my hands.

“If you’d like to wait for him we have a waiting room outside the operating suites.” I nod, thanking her, and take Riley, still in pajamas and booted feet like mine, toward the waiting area full of chairs and stiff two-person benches. The female police officer who brought me here peeks her head in.

“Here you are.”

My back stiffens; I don’t want to talk to her.

“Apparently, my sister doesn’t need to be admitted. I’m not going to be able to talk to you with her here.”

“This will be quick,” she says. “Can you tell me what happened when you and Kolton came out of the elevator?”

“Riley, can you wait in here for a couple of minutes? I’m going to be right over there.” She nods and pulls her knees up to her face, hiding her mouth. Several minutes later, the officer, who I now know is named Martinez, says something into her walkie talkie and leaves us be. She wouldn’t tell me where Manny and Devon were, even after I asked multiple times, in multiple ways.

I come back and let Riley cuddle up to me. While I rub her back, my eyes close for a second and a female voice pokes its way into my semi-dream. “Ms. Phoenix.”

I open my eyes and see a middle-aged woman holding a blanket and a file. “I’m a social worker here at Cedars-Sinai. I understand that you were a victim of a fire tonight and that you may not have a place to stay.”

“No, we don’t, actually. Do you happen to know where my bodyguard is? Has he come in looking for us?”

“No,” she answers simply, handing me the blanket. Just then Gina DeYoung, my publicist, walks in looking disheveled and wild-eyed. I jump back a little.

“Mia,” she exclaims, taking my hand with both of hers. “Oh my God. I came as soon as I heard. My phone was going off like crazy, but I’m a deep sleeper. Listen. I’m going to book you a hotel room for the night. I’ve already placed a call to have a substitute bodyguard come right away. Devon called and instructed me on that himself.”

“Are Devon and Manny in trouble?”

“Honestly, Mia. I don’t know anything. What’s on the news is all just speculation but we know that Katharina Inez is deceased.”

“Holy shit, Gina. Holy fucking shit.” I’m rocking back and forth, Riley’s sleeping head in my lap. I feel like I can’t breathe. My chest is constricting around my heart like a closed fist and a huge knot forms in my throat. I’d thought it, wished it even, but to hear it’s actually true—that’s a whole different sensation. Dead. She’s actually dead.

“Mia, I’m sure it’s all going to be okay,” Gina says, patting my knee.

The social worker pulls up a chair and sits down in front of me. “My name is Sara. I’ll be here for you to help transition all of you through this. I can help find you a place to stay. We can call you when Kolton Royce is out of surgery if you’d like to go to the hotel now.”

“I need to wait,” I say to Sara. “Gina, what’s going to happen next?”

“Mia, if you want to stay, I can take Riley to my place. Like I said, I’m going to book you a suite nearby. And I’ll issue a statement on your behalf. Kolton also has a PR team. They’re working on this, as far as I know—”

“I don’t care about how this looks. I know that’s your job, and I trust you. I need to know if Kolton’s okay. Then we can go to the suite or to your house, or whatever.”

Sara stands and hands me her card. “I just need to know the alias you’d like him checked in under.”

“Simon Drake,” Gina answers and Sara nods, writing it down. “Please call me with anything you need. This is my direct line.”

“Can you get me in to see Kolton?”

“I’ll work on it, okay?” she says, and leaves me to wait impatiently.

*     *     *

My body is humming, every nerve on edge and radiating like glowing embers. My eyes are closed, but I’m vaguely aware of the feel of the blanket, a little stiff and rough, as I rest my hand on top of it. I feel like dead weight, heavy and burdened, but like an electrical current is plugged into me somewhere, making me a whirr of nervous energy.

I wish I were home. And, for the first time in a long time, home isn’t the old house with my parents. Home is with Kolton. The bed I wish I was sleeping in is Kolton’s bed. I wish we could stop all of this now and go back. Prevent it somehow.

I used to have that same feeling after the other fire. The weight of those regrets falls heavy on my chest.