The Treasure (2 page)

She had barely been aware of that touch. She had been too focused on its effect on Kadar. “Exciting.”

He chuckled. “You lie.”

“Well, it could have been—under other circumstances. I’m weary of living life like one of the nuns at the abbey. You have no right to complain. Do you think I don’t hear of the women you bed? You’ve not left a willing wench in the Highlands untouched, and heaven knows what you do on your journeys to Spain and Italy.”

“Heaven knows.”

“It’s not funny. And it’s not fair.”

“Life is unfair.”

“Well, I won’t have it. I’m weary of being the only woman in Scotland you won’t bed.”

“So you tried to stir me to action with the sword of jealousy. As I remember, you threatened some such ploy before. Very clever.” He tilted his head. “But dangerous.”

“That was years ago. I was still a child.”

“You’re still a child in some ways.”

“I’m
not.
Though you treat me as one.” She drew a deep breath and attacked. “I want you to wed me.”

His smile faded. “I know you do.”

“I . . . care about you.”

“I know.”

“And you feel something for me. I also
know
that, Kadar.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Then wed me.” She tried to smile. “You could hardly do better. Thea and I share the profits from the silk trade we started here at Montdhu. I’m a fine match.”

“For any man.” He shook his head. “Not now, Selene.”

“Why not? I told you, I’m not a child any longer. I don’t remember ever feeling like a child.”

“That’s part of our problem.”

Disappointment surged through her. But it was what she had expected. She launched her second foray. “Then bed me. Now. Tonight.”

He went still. She could see the tightening of his lips, the slight flare of his nostrils. She took a step closer. She had struck home. “I want you to do it.”

“Do you?”

“I won’t go on this way.” She drew a deep breath. “Touch me.”

He didn’t move, but she could feel the tension of his body.

“You never touch me.”

“There’s good reason,” he said thickly.

She moved closer, took his hand, and put it on her shoulder. It was heavy and warm through the silk of her gown. She felt a thrill of fear mixed with an odd, hot tingle. “I watched men and women couple in the House of Nicholas when I was a child. A moment of pleasure and then it was over. I know it will mean nothing to you.”

“Then why do you want it?”

Because she wanted to be close to him. She had wanted that closeness since she had met him all those years ago, and now she saw a way to gain it. “Why do any of your lemans wish it?”

“But you’re not like anyone else.”

“Ware and Thea need not know. I could meet you in the hills and—”

“You think I wouldn’t bed you because of my friendship with Ware and Thea?” He shook his head. “You don’t know me as well as I thought. If I decided it was right for us, nothing in this world would stop me.”

Hope leaped high within her. “It is right. You’ll see.”

“Ah, how I wish it was.”

“Then stop wishing and
do
something.” She took his other hand and plopped it on her shoulder. “Now.”

He chuckled. “You lack a certain subtlety. Should I drag you down on these stones?”

“If you like.” She was losing him, she realized in despair. Lust was fading, and amusement and tenderness were taking its place. She was probably doing this all wrong. She slid one of his hands down to cover her breast. “Anything you like.”

His smile disappeared. “Selene . . .” His hand tightened on her breast and he squeezed gently, sensuously.

She lost her breath and felt a twisting in the pit of her stomach. Her eyes widened in shock.

“You didn’t expect that?” He squeezed again, watching her expression. “What a delight it will be to teach you pleasure.”

She swayed toward him. “Then stop talking and do it. . . .”

He bent and brushed his lips in the hollow of her throat. She shuddered as a wave of heat went through her.

“But not now,” he whispered. “You’re not ready. Go back to the hall, Selene.”

She felt as if he’d doused her with cold water. Shock turned to anger. She shoved him away. “Ready? I’m tired of that word. If it’s not now, then it will be never. I won’t wait on your convenience. I’ll go away. I’ll marry Lord Douglas or Kenneth or—” She turned on her heel. “I hate you, Kadar.”

“No, you don’t.”

No, she didn’t. She wished she could hate him, but the bond of years was too strong. Her eyes were glittering with tears as she looked at him over her shoulder. “Wait and see. I’ll learn to hate you.”

He smiled sadly. “But that would break my heart.”

“Nothing could break your heart.”

“You could. That’s why I have to have patience.”

“May heaven curse your patience.”

“Actually, heaven applauds it. It’s not often a sinner embraces such a virtue.”

“It makes no sense. Why?”

“Trust. You don’t trust me. I find I have a great hunger for your trust.”

“I do trust you.”

He shook his head. “You don’t trust anyone. Except perhaps Thea. You make a pretense of trust to the rest of us.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I’m right. You learned hard lessons in the House of Nicholas. One of them was lack of trust.” He smiled and said gently, “But I deserve your trust. I’ve devoted a number of agonizing years to earning it. After the life I’ve lived, it stuns me that I would care this much about your complete faith in me. But I want every part of you, Selene. I won’t accept less.”

She glared at him. “And I’m supposed to wait until you decide I deserve you?”

“You’re supposed to let time teach you what a fine bedrock of a man I am.” His voice lowered to silky menace. “But I’ll tell you what you’re not to do. You’re not to smile at any of those poor lads inside. It annoys me exceedingly. And if you let one of them touch you again, I won’t be as lenient as I was to Lord Douglas.”

“You’ll not give me orders. I’ll do what I wish.” She whirled and ran up the steps and into the hall.

She stopped behind a pillar as waves of pain washed over her. Damn him. She had tried so hard and it had all come to nothing. Why wouldn’t he—

“Selene?” Thea was beside her. “Are you well?”

No, she wasn’t well. She was angry and frustrated and felt as if everything inside her was hurting. She tried to smile. “Of course I’m well. Why would you think otherwise?”

“It could be the tears that are running down your cheeks,” Thea said dryly.

“Nonsense. I never cry.” But she was weeping now, she realized. That stubborn idiot had done this to her. “I must have something in my eye.”

Thea nodded. “Well, come to my chamber and I’ll help you get it out.” She pushed Selene gently toward the stone stairs leading to the bedchambers. “You can’t go back into the feast like this.”

She didn’t want to face anyone. She wanted to go to bed and pound her pillow with her fist and forget Kadar and his stupid idiocies. But that would be a victory for Kadar. She’d do exactly what he had ordered her not to do. She’d go with Thea and wash her eyes and pinch her cheeks rosy and then come down and let Kadar know she cared nothing for what he said.

Well, perhaps she would not speak sweetly to any of the men in the hall. There was no point in it, and it wasn’t fair to them now that Kadar had issued a warning. But she would dance and laugh and let him see she didn’t care a whit for his—sweet Mary, why couldn’t she stop hurting?

Thea opened her door. “Sit down on the stool.” She went to the bowl on the washstand and dampened a cloth. “This shouldn’t take long. Which eye is it?”

Selene dropped down on the stool. “We both know I have nothing in my eye.”

“I wasn’t sure you were ready to admit it yet.” Thea moved the damp cloth gently over Selene’s cheeks. “You shouldn’t blame Kadar. You made him very angry.”

“No, I must never blame Kadar,” she said bitterly. “Kadar is perfect in your eyes. I’m the one who causes you disturbance.”

“Kadar isn’t perfect, but I’d trust him with everything I own.”

Trust again. “Then you trust a fool. He won’t take what’s offered him and yet he expects me to wait while he samples every wench in Scotland.”

Thea chuckled. “Perhaps not every wench. He does spend a good deal of time at sea.”

“Probably to get away from me.”

“It’s a possibility. I must ask him if he’s using our silk trade as an excuse. It seems a good deal of trouble for him to undertake to avoid one young girl. Though it’s true you can be a great deal of bother on occasion.”

“You’re laughing at me.”

Thea caressed her cheek. “Never.”

“It hurts, Thea.” She leaned her head on her sister’s breast. “I never wanted this. I used to think you and Ware were foolish, you know. It seemed very dangerous to care so deeply about someone.

What if they left you or what if they died, like Mama died?”

“It’s always dangerous to care. One must just have faith.”

Faith, trust. Why did everyone throw those words at her?

“Kadar says I have no trust. Isn’t that stupid?”

Thea was silent.

Selene lifted her head. “Thea?”

“I didn’t realize he could see that. But then, Kadar is more perceptive than most people. I can see how your not trusting him would matter to Kadar. He does not give affection lightly, and his feelings for you are very strong. He would want all and resent you holding anything back.” She stroked Selene’s hair from her face.

“It’s not your fault that you’re so wary. Everyone you’ve ever loved has gone away from you.”

“Not you.”

“Even me. When I ran away from the House of Nicholas and left you there. I knew that would hurt you terribly.”

“But you came back.”

“But you weren’t sure I would, were you?”

“Of course I was.” Then she shook her head. They had never lied to each other. “No, but I hoped . . .”

“You see?”

“That was a long time ago. I’m older now.”

“And you love Kadar?”

“I do . . . care about him.”

Thea shook her head. “You’re too frightened to even say the words. I think Kadar may be a very wise man.”

“What are a few words?” She flared, stung. “I think you must be as stupid as Kadar.”

“Do you?”

She was instantly remorseful. Thea was everything that was loyal and loving. “No, I’m the stupid one. Forgive me. You should slap me.”

Thea smiled. “Not while you’re feeling this unhappy. Though I admit to wanting to give you a thorough tongue-lashing earlier.”

Selene stared at her in surprise. “Why?”

“I wanted no bloodshed tonight.”

“I would never have let it come to that.” But she had been too absorbed in her plan to prod Kadar to notice Thea had been worried, she thought guiltily. “You know I would do nothing to hurt you.”

Thea shrugged. “I know. Sometimes you don’t think.”

“It’s true. I’m a terrible, terrible person. I was selfish.” She jumped to her feet. “Come. We’ll go back downstairs and I’ll be very, very good. Kadar will think it’s because of him, but you’ll know. And tomorrow you stay late in bed and then spend the day playing with my godson. I’ll tend the guests and then make the round of the cottages to check the weaving myself.”

“You
must
be contrite.” Thea smiled in amusement as she moved toward the door. “We’ll see.”

But she would probably be up at dawn as usual, Selene thought. Perhaps she would mention to Ware how weary Thea looked. It would need only a word for him to become passionately concerned. When Thea had come down with the fever last year after giving birth to Niall, Ware had nearly fallen apart. Selene had never seen a man so besotted with his wife.

But would he remain enamored when Thea was no longer young and lovely? Nicholas had often displayed a passion for the youngest and comeliest women slaves, but the older women received little of his attention. And the men Nicholas allowed to use his women chose only the ones blooming with youth and beauty. She knew Thea believed that Ware would love her forever, but how could she be so sure that—

Trust. Shock jolted through her. Ware was her friend, and yet she feared he would destroy her sister with his fickleness. If she distrusted Ware, was Kadar right about her lack of trust in him? She had always thought she knew herself, but she had deliberately blinded herself to—

“Selene?” Thea was at the door, gazing at her inquiringly.

“Coming.” She moved quickly across the room. She would think of this more later. There was the rest of the evening to get through now, and she must help Thea all she could to make up for her lapse.

Trust . . .

MY GOD, he wanted her.

Kadar’s hand tightened on his goblet, his gaze following Selene as she moved about the hall.

She was being meek and polite as an angel sent from heaven. Talking to the old ladies sitting at the side of the room, trailing behind Thea, and helping with the servants.

Not once had she looked at him since she returned to the room with Thea, but he knew she was as aware of him as he was of her.

The awareness was always there. It had been there from the beginning. Since the first time he saw her in Nicholas’s house, her thin back scarred from that bastard’s whip, he felt a bond he had never felt before for anyone.

Why was he still here? The little devil was not going to look at him, and she had evidently decided not to further provoke him.

Tonight.

He had no confidence she would give up entirely. She was as stubborn and determined as Thea and far more single-minded. It was probably best if he left Montdhu for a while. Perhaps when he returned she would be able to give him what he wanted.

Or more likely he would toss this damnable caution aside and forget everything but taking her to bed. Why not do it now? It shouldn’t be so important to him. Nothing was perfect. His life had been full of compromises. He had grown up on the streets of Damascus, the bastard son of a Frank who had taken his Armenian mother and left her alone and with child. He had indulged in every kind of wickedness and dark pleasure, from the whorehouses of Damascus to the band of assassins led by Sinan, the Old Man of the Mountain. He knew all about filth and death and the few precious moments that made life worthwhile.

Then Selene had come into his life, only a child but touching, bonding with him, stubbornly holding back the darkness. It was a gift beyond anything he had ever hoped to possess. He should accept what Selene could give and be content. But, dammit, he wanted this one thing in their lives to be without blemish.

She had paused beneath a torch; her hair shimmered in its flickering light. She would never be the beauty Thea was, but her spirit lit this smoky hall like a thousand torches. He wanted to warm his hands before that fire, hold her, teach her . . .

God, he was thickening, hardening as he looked at her.

He couldn’t stand this. He would cross the hall and hold out his hand to her, take her from these people and make—

He muttered a curse and strode out of the hall.

The fresh air did nothing to cool him where he needed cooling. He would probably not sleep this night. It would serve him well. He had always thought martyrs deserved their fate, and he was being disgustingly noble.

“Lord Kadar?”

He turned to see young Haroun, Ware’s page, hurrying toward him. “What is it?”

“A ship has docked in the harbor.”

He stiffened. “Our harbor?”

“No, the harbor at Dalkeith, where we first landed when we came to this land. Robert sighted it and rode to give us word.”

It had come. They had always feared the Knights Templar would discover Ware was not dead and pursue him. “Only one ship?”

Haroun nodded.

One ship was not bad. The castle was well fortified and Ware had kept his men battle-ready. “Did Robert say who captained the ship?”

“Ali Balkir.” Haroun moistened his lips. “It is the
Dark Star,
Lord Kadar. The ship that brought us here.”

Sinan.

Kadar felt the familiar chill grip him. There had been times when he had almost forgotten Sinan. No, that wasn’t true. He had buried the memory, but the Old Man was like an underground river, ever present, an eternal danger. Ruler of a band of assassins whose skill and power had intimidated even the great Saladin, Sinan could never be dismissed so lightly.

“The captain sent a message. He wishes you to come and meet with him.”

It was what he had expected. He nodded. “I’ll go at once. Have my horse saddled.”

“Do you wish me to come with you?”

The boy was afraid. Who could blame him? Balkir was an arm of Sinan, and the entire Christian world feared the Old Man of the Mountain. “No, I’ll go alone.”

Haroun was clearly relieved. “I’ll go tell Lord Ware. Perhaps he’ll want to accompany you.”

“No.”

“But I must. He will want to know about the ship.”

“The
Dark Star
is no threat to him. Why should he be troubled when he has guests? I’ll tell him myself—later. Tell Robert he’s to return to the harbor at once.”

“You’re sure there is no danger?”

“Lord Ware is in no danger, and neither is Montdhu,” Kadar repeated.

Haroun gave him a troubled glance but turned and ran back toward the stables.

Ware would be in a fury when he found out that Kadar had kept the news from him. Perhaps Kadar would tell him later. He would make a decision after seeing Balkir. It could be safe. Maybe he wasn’t here for the reason Kadar suspected.

Kadar!

His head lifted and his gaze went toward the south, where the
Dark Star
lay at harbor. Imagination. He could not have heard the Old Man call him from halfway across the world. It was clearly impossible.

But not for the man who always stood in Sinan’s shadow. Nasim, the master, the trainer of assassins, the man who was only waiting for the chance to become as powerful as Sinan. Kadar had seen many mysterious happenings that boggled the mind connected with Nasim.

A chill went through him at the thought. Nonsense. Nasim was only a phantom from the past. Sinan had not even mentioned him on that last trip to Maysef. It was Sinan who had sent the
Dark Star,
and Kadar had always been able to deal with him.

Kadar had spoken the truth when he had told Haroun there was no threat to Montdhu. Sinan had no interest in Ware or Thea or Selene as anything but tools. Kadar could keep them all safe.

All he had to do was answer the summons.

It was no use trying to sleep.

Selene swung her feet to the floor, wrapped a cover about her naked body, and moved across the room to the window. The stones were cool beneath her feet. It had grown chilly now that midnight had come and gone.

She gazed out into the darkness. Kadar was out there somewhere. He had left far before the evening had come to an end. She hadn’t seen him go, but she had sensed the loss. It was always as if a flame had gone out when he left a room, everything drained of life. Where had he gone? To the stables to dice with Haroun and the other men? Maybe to the
Last Hope.
He had a chamber here at the castle, but he often spent the night on board his ship.

Was there a woman with him? He never brought his lemans to the castle, but the ship . . .

Rage seared through her and she quickly blocked the thought. No use to torture herself with imaginings. She had found out the reason Kadar held her at bay, and she had found out something about herself as well.

So what if she was wary and lacking in trust? What did he expect? She and Thea had been born slaves in Nicholas’s House of Silk in Constantinople. They had spent most of their childhood in the house of women, laboring from dawn to dusk at the looms. The only trust they had learned at Nicholas’s was to trust that the lash would fall if they failed in their tasks or tried to escape captivity. Why could Kadar not accept that in her? She couldn’t give what she didn’t have.

But if she didn’t give him what he wanted, she might lose him. He might tire of waiting and go to some other—

She was doing it again. Trust. Why could she not trust that he would not leave her?

Because it would mean lowering her guard and letting herself become vulnerable. Yielding that part of her that she had fiercely protected all her life.

How could she be more vulnerable than she was to Kadar right now? She could think of nothing else but the stupid man.

Her eyes were stinging again. She would
not
cry. She was not one to weep and moan when she could take action to find a solution.

But, dear God, the solution to this problem was agonizingly hard. She was not sure if she even knew how to go about it.

“You understand the message?” Ali Balkir asked.

Kadar nodded. “It’s what I expected.”

“You promised Sinan you’d come and do whatever task he set you. He’s summoning you now. You will obey, of course.”

“Will I?” Kadar smiled. “I’ll have to think about it.”

Panic tore through Balkir. It was what he had feared when Nasim had given him this mission. As a boy, Kadar had walked his own path, and he had even defied Nasim by leaving him. “You’ve got to come.”

Kadar’s smile faded. “I said I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t be a fool. It’s Sinan who sends for you.”

“I’ll let you know my decision in three days.”

“We leave tomorrow. Sinan wants you at once.”

“Then he’ll have to wait.” Kadar moved toward the gangplank. “And have your men stay on board the ship. I want no raping or violence here at Montdhu.”

“Then you’d best make the right decision.”

Kadar glanced at him over his shoulder and said softly, “I have no liking for threats, Balkir.”

Balkir suppressed a shiver as he met Kadar’s gaze. The overwhelming menace was almost as strong as what he felt when he had confronted Nasim. “It is Sinan’s threat, not mine. You must come with me.”

“Three days.” He turned and went down the gangplank.

Balkir’s hand tightened on the rail as he watched him leave. By Allah, he had known there would be trouble. What would he do if Kadar decided not to obey the command? Terror iced through him. He had been given a mission, and one did not fail a mission given by Nasim.

Yet if he attacked the castle, he would risk injuring Kadar, and Nasim would regard that as a failure also. He would have to find another means to assure Kadar’s compliance.

“Murad,” he called over his shoulder. “Follow him. Make sure he goes nowhere but Montdhu. I want to know whom he sees, what he does. Don’t let him out of your sight.”

Murad scurried across the deck and ran down the gangplank.

“Why didn’t you tell me last night, Kadar?” Ware demanded harshly. “It’s only one ship. We can mount an attack.”

“And, if they survive, then they’ll mount their own attack and damage your fine new castle,” Kadar said lightly. “Stop thinking like a warrior, Ware. No battle is necessary here.”

“I am a warrior.” Ware scowled. “And you’re an idiot if you think I’ll permit you to go and do that bastard’s bidding.”

“I made a promise.”

“Promises to assassins should not be kept.”

Kadar chuckled. “Speaks a man who never breaks his word.”

“I’ve never given my word to a devil like Sinan.”

“We all have our own devils. Mine just happens to be a true demon. Or so his men claim.”

“You should know. You were once his man.”

“I’ve known worse demons.”

“Well, I haven’t.” Ware stood up. “I’ll call the men to arms.

We’ll go to—”

“No, Ware,” he said quietly. “I told you, no battle. I’ve told Balkir I’d give him my decision in three days. I won’t have you interfere. If you attack the
Dark Star,
you’ll make my decision for me. Even if you defeat Balkir, I’ll find another way to get to Sinan.”

“Damn you,” Ware said in frustration. “Why won’t you let me help? You made that promise to Sinan to guarantee he’d free us.”

“Why would you think that?” Kadar teased. “I freed myself. I just took you along because you amused me. You know how I hate to be bored.”

“Stop joking.”

“Laughter is what makes life bearable. I’ve never been able to teach you that.” He turned to leave. “You’ll not tell Thea or Selene about this. There’s no need to worry them.”

“And how am I to keep them from finding out? They travel all over the glen, visiting the cottages.”

“You’ll find a way. You wouldn’t want me to be forced into making a premature choice.” He closed the door behind him and moved down the steps to the courtyard. The choice was already made, and he was sure Ware suspected what it would be. That was the reason he had told him the decision was to be made in three days. He didn’t trust Ware not to explode into action as the deadline approached.

The clever thing would have been to say nothing and set sail with Balkir last night. He might have done it if the captain hadn’t been so damn demanding.

He was lying to himself. He wanted these three days. He was always the stranger, living on the outside, but for the first time in his life he had begun to feel at home. Montdhu had drawn him in and made him part of it. He wanted to spend time with Thea and Ware. He wanted to walk the hills and talk to people who had become friends.

He wanted to be with Selene.

No, that would be a mistake. He should stay away from Selene. Sinan’s summons had filled him with frustration and anger. His instinct was to claw and cling to what he had here. He was feeling too desperate, and desperate men sometimes destroyed what they wanted to protect.

Yes, he would watch her from a distance, but he must stay away from Selene.

“Kadar Ben Arnaud has made no attempt to leave Montdhu,” Murad told Balkir. “He’s done nothing of note for the past two days. He wanders about the countryside. He dices at the inn in the town. He visits his ship, the
Last Hope.”