The Trouble with Polly Brown (70 page)
Blenkinsopp could not fail but look terribly confused, as he already had a pup safely tucked away under each arm. “Madam,” he said loudly as he began clearing his throat, “if God above would be so kind as to apportion me a third hand, I would thank Him most profusely from the bottom of my heart, truly I would. But until such times, I apologize that I am unable to release you from the heavy burden of your hat, as I would have you take note that I am already responsible for securing a pup under each arm.”
“Nonsense, Blenkinsopp. As you have a very active mouth at your disposal, might I suggest we consider the use of your teeth in order to fully secure my hat?”
“My teeth, madam?”
“Oh, Blenkinsopp, please don't get stroppy with me. Now, just do as you're told, and open your mouth just wide enough to allow me to insert the brim of my hat between your upper and lower chompers,” she mischievously ordered.
“There, that's it. Just a teeny bit wider. Splendid! Now just drop down those very sharp incisors!”
Blenkinsopp impassively moved forward and then bent over just enough to allow her ladyship the privilege of placing the brim of her hat between his teeth. “Now do as I say and bite down hard, Blenkinsopp. That way there will be no chance of you accidentally dropping my very expensive hat,” she firmly ordered.
A wide-eyed Polly, who was watching the whole affair with a look of pure disbelief written all over her face, was left with little choice but to hold her hand to her mouth in order to stifle the first giggle that had perchance escaped since her arrival at the hospital.
All too soon she was chuckling away as the strange lady's poor butler was forced to have her hat hanging from his mouth while desperately trying to hold on to two very frisky dogs.
With the hat finally gripped between his teeth, Blenkinsopp straightened himself up, and in doing so he accidentally loosened his firm grip on the dogs. In a matter of seconds one of the pups leapt out from under his arm and then proceeded to race full pelt down the ward as fast as its little legs could go.
“Oh, goodness gracious me! Piddles, come back, come back,” her ladyship alarmingly cried out. “Blenkinsopp, don't just stand there like a wet drip catching flies. Go get him, my man,” she loudly ordered.
Lady Butterkist was delighted to hear Polly giggle as she watched this latest drama unfold before her very eyes.
“Yes, madam,” Blenkinsopp mumbled as he tried hard to hold on to her hat whilst answering. Then, with her hat still clenched between his teeth and Tiddles safely tucked under his other arm, he began racing down the ward as he chased after Piddles the pup.
Suddenly, Piddles stopped in her tracks and pattered over toward a man sitting absolutely motionless in a chair as he stared into space.
On noticing her dog's reaction to the sad and tragic man, Lady Butterkist cried out an order to Blenkinsopp to stop in his tracks and leave Piddles well alone.
“I believe we may be about to witness a small miracle,” she muttered under her breath as her curving lips broke into the warmest of smiles.
Piddles casually looked up at the severely withdrawn man, and the man stared back at Piddles. Piddles then licked her lips before making the cutest little noises as she moved her confused head to one side as though she were trying in her mind to weigh up this very sad patient. The wizened, pain-filled man, for his part, never moved as much as an inch. His soulful eyes remained focused on the dog as they continued to stare at each other as though they were desperately locked in some very intimate and most private game. Then without warning, Piddles leapt straight onto the man's lap and immediately began snuffling then licking his scarred, ravaged face with her tiny pink tongue. At first the man with the soulful, liquid eyes remained like a garden statue, not moving a muscle while a contented Piddles expressed herself by licking him all over. It started with his eyes, then his ears. She then moved down to his nose, followed by his mouth. Still, the man remained completely expressionless as Piddles continued in her own way to manifest great affection.
There was soon great hysteria in the ward, as patients began to crowd around.
Suddenly and without warning, huge tears billowed from the man's eyes before rolling uncontrollably down his hollow, sunken cheeks. However, none made it past his chin, as Piddles chose to lick them all up as they freely raced down his pained face. Seconds later, he slowly and cautiously placed a doddery arm around the dog. Moments later, and to Lady Butterkist's great joy, he cautiously placed both arms tightly around the dog as he slowly began to cuddle the warm, excitable body. Piddles's immediate response was to give the mournful gentleman considerably more affectionate licks. In the space of just a few minutes, the patient was then passionately hugging and kissing the pup in a manner that might suggest they had been inseparable, best friends for many years.
Eventually the nurses raced down the ward toward the large crowd that had formed around the bedside of Patient 333. What they discovered would not only shock them but stay with each of them for the rest of their lives, for Patient 333, who had never been anything more than a useless cabbage to arduously spoon-feed and wash and who had never once spoken a single word in the twenty years he had been at the hospital, was now rolling 'round the floor liberally laughing and crying as, cradling the precious pup in his arms, he continued to hug him tightly to his chest.
The anxious nursing staff quickly ordered all patients to go back to their own beds or alternatively head to the television lounge, as they wished to give the patient a very thorough medical examination before bleeping the on-call doctor to come and see for himself.
In turn, Lady Butterkist ordered Blenkinsopp to quietly advise the patient that if he were to choose to leave the hospital this very day, then she would be more than delighted to give Piddles the pup to him as her very special gift.
Blenkinsopp did as he was ordered and passed this information to the now deliriously happy patient, who wasted no time whatsoever in changing out of his worn-out striped pajamas to get back into the clothes he had arrived in some previous twenty or so years.
As ex-Patient 333 walked down the ward toward the door and freedom with Piddles safely tucked under one arm, Lady Butterkist, as usual, could not control her runaway tongue.
“Goodness gracious, Blenkinsopp. Can you believe it? The man is expelling feather after feather from the bottom of his most dated trousers,” she gasped.
In a matter of seconds, many of the patients were to be found picking up the long, white feathers, then holding them up to their faces as they stared in wonder at them. Many patients then chose to run up and down the ward like young, innocent children as they placed a feather or two in the palm of their hands and then blew them into the air before chasing after them. Other, less energetic souls peered at the feathers and then began tickling themselves until they fell off their chairs due to too much uncontrollable laughter, and more still just walked back and forth with the feathers inserted behind their ears or strategically stuck in locks of their hair as they chose to become something of a fearless Indian warrior.
In truth, the ward was in complete pandemonium, with patients running after feathers and nurses running after patients and doctors running after nurses and patients.
“Madam, are you now happy? Indisputably this ward is now in complete bedlam.”
“Yes, Blenkinsopp, but rather than âbedlam' I prefer to call it âsplendid chaos.'”
“Madam, is it not amazing how much undeniable joy and pleasure the introduction of something as simple and pure as a feather has suddenly brought to this cold, unfeeling place.”
“Yes, but goodness gracious, Giles, our poor man is leaving this ward looking simply ridiculous!” she gasped. “He needs to rather urgently shop around for a smart new suit that fits him properly, for I do believe he's not only shrunk a foot or two since he last wore that ridiculously dated outfit, but alas, he's also shed at least a hundred pounds or more. So much for hospital food, eh, Blenkinsopp?” She immediately opened her purse, and after dipping down deep she handed her faithful butler an envelope.
“Blenkinsopp, do be a poppet and run after him, for this gentleman thoroughly deserves some form of financial restitution after all he has endured. Kindly see to it that he gets this.”
“Yes, madam.”
“Oh, and please give him my calling card, and inform him that if he needs any help whatsoever in the future, then I'm his man, I mean, woman.”
Blenkinsopp did all that he was ordered. The thin and gentle man turned, and with a smile so large it would melt any gracious heart, he waved his thanks. Then with Piddles tucked safely under his arm, he turned to leave the ward and the hospital forever.
“Madam, he cannot express enough gratitude for your kind and very gracious gift, and he promises to love Piddles as much as you have. He also said that he trusts that you won't mind too much if he chooses to spend the money on something entirely different that all his life he has yearned for.”
“Blenkinsopp, what on earth do you mean?”
“Well, madam, would you believe it if I said that he desperately desires a new pair of swimming shorts, as well as a wet suit?”
“Oh goodness gracious, Giles! He won't stay out of this hospital for any length of time if he intends to prance down the High Street looking like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dressed only in swimming trunks and a snorkel!” she warily stated.
“No, madam. I am inclined to believe that you are totally misunderstanding the situation here.”
“Really, Giles? Well, I'm all ears, so what are you waiting for? Please, keep me in the picture,” she earnestly requested.
“Well, madam, he told me that after spending many years in a straitjacket, his biggest desire now is to dive into the deepest ocean and swim with the whales and dolphins. Once he has built up the confidence, he then intends to do a spot of deep-sea diving, hopefully off the Great Barrier Reef.”
“The Great Barrier Reef?”
“Yes, Down Under, as he yearns once more to wonder and stand in awe of all the beauty he has missed out on by being cooped up in this dungeon all these long years. Excuse me, for they were his precise words, not mine,” an embarrassed Giles mumbled.
“My sentiments entirely! Well, thank you for sharing all this with me, Blenkinsopp, for I feel deeply stirred to the seat of my emotions by this dear man. It is also wonderful to think just how much he will thoroughly appreciate every new and extraordinary experience that his new life will hopefully now bring.”
“To use a few of your choice words, my sentiments exactly, madam.”
“You know something, Blenkinsopp I think I might well consider joining him Down Under, although I feel certain my old swimming costume will seriously struggle to fit over my now very ample portions.”
“Hmm. A word of caution, Mrs. B.: perhaps madam is more suited to land and therefore should stick to what she knows best, at least for the time being.”
“You are right, Blenkinsopp. What was I thinking? I believe I have been swept away on a tide of emotion. Although I must say that it was very delightful watching the interaction between my Piddles and that dear ghost of a man, for it cannot fail to show all within these walls what a mere touch of unconditional love can do.”
“As usual, you're absolutely correct, madam.”
“Yes, if I'm honest, we are all in dire need of a bit of unfailing love, and sadly, that is the only medicine most here know nothing of and yet are in urgent need of. Quite frankly, I wonder how many patients would be left on these wards if they were to experience such a transcending love, if only for a small moment, in their sad, pitiful lives.”
“Very few, madam, if any.”
“Yes, Giles Blenkinsopp, I do believe you to be perfectly correct in your latest assumption. Now then, with all that excitement out of the way, let us return to our more immediate problem, and that is young Polly.”
N
OW, DO BE
a dear and sit up, young lady, and allow me to make you more comfortable. There's a dear. Now, Polly, have we not just witnessed something rather extraordinary unfold before our very eyes?”
“Yes, it was pretty amazing and really touching to watch,” Polly admitted, as she began brightening up with every minute that passed.
“Right, well, I do believe that now it is time for your special miracle, young lady.”
Polly immediately responded to the request by allowing Lady Butterkist to puff up her pillows for her. She then sat back, clutching Langdon very tightly to her chest.
“There, now that's much better, for at last I can now see your pretty little face.”
Polly instantly flinched on hearing the word
pretty
.
“What's the matter, dear? Have I said something wrong?” Lady Butterkist innocently asked.