The Truth is Contagious (The Contagium Series Book 4) (39 page)

I finished my drink. It instantly went to my
head. I stumbled to the bathroom before coming back and passing
out, letting the heavy darkness pull me into an abyss.

* * *

I didn’t wake up until the morning. I took a
breath, blinking in the bright sunlight that streamed through the
open window. For a second, everything was ok. Then reality crashed
down on me.

Physically, I felt like shit. My throat was
dry, head throbbed, and my body ached from running and falling the
day before. But it paled in comparison to the pain of the
heartbreak.

I ran my hands over my face, rubbing my eyes.
I took a deep breath and pushed myself up and out of bed, stumbling
into the bathroom. I was going to go back into my room and sleep
some more but stopped. Hayden’s voice floated up the stairs. I
paused at the top to listen.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s a gamble.”

“Of course it’s a gamble!” my grandpa spat,
fire in his voice. “That’s what they want.”

“We can’t just pack up and go.”

“Of course you can!” My grandpa hit the
table. “They wouldn’t expect it.”

What were they talking about? I held onto the
railing and leaned down. “You said it yourself,” my grandpa went
on. “You don’t know what it’s like in New York. It could be fucking
utopia for all those politicians. They might be watching us. But
they might not be.”

Hayden sighed. “I know. We don’t know
we—”

“That’s why you have to go, get in, make them
see what they did to us, to you. To
Orissa
. You need to make
them pay. Or, at the very least, make them know you exist.”

“They meant to kill us.”

“Of course they did! They’ve been trying to
kill us for years—decades! But you also said not everyone there
knows the truth. If you could infect one of them…” he trailed off
laughing. “What’s more contagious than the virus? The
truth
.”

There was a few seconds pause. “It could
start a riot,” Hayden said.

“What do you mean?” Jason asked.

“When a group of people believing a lie find
out the truth,” my grandpa explained. “They’re not happy. To say
the least.”

Hayden said, “How would you feel if you were
living in perfect safety, thinking that the people protecting you
did everything they could to save the country when really, they
went out killing everyone in sight?”

“Oh, right. Yeah…” Jason let out a breath.
“I’d be pissed. Really pissed.”

“And,” Hayden went on. “That’s not to mention
telling them the virus was created on purpose and set loose on the
public with the intent to cause this.”

“How do you know people inside these safe
places don’t already know?” Jason asked.

“I can’t be sure. It was something Fuller
said.” I could imagine Hayden’s eyes clouding with self doubt as he
shook his head. “He made it sound like not everyone inside knew
what was going on. And those people have to have family and friends
out there somewhere that didn’t make it.”

“That’s why you gotta go in,” my grandpa
said, speaking fast like he did when he was excited about one of
his crazy theories. “Expose ‘em. And kill Samael.”

A chair creaked as someone leaned back. “It’s
something to consider,” Hayden said.

“You gonna make it through the winter?” my
grandpa asked. “All those people you got back in Arkansas?” When
Hayden didn’t answer he continued. “No, they’re not. You’re going
to run out of food and then what?”

“It’s going to turn into the Donner Party,”
Jason mumbled.

“No it won’t,” Hayden said. “We’ll figure it
out.”

“Time for that is gone. Sure you might be
able to scavenge, take everything in that food pantry back, but it
won’t last long. How many people you got back there?”

“Well over three hundred,” Hayden answered. I
hadn’t realized there were
that
many people at the compound.
No wonder I couldn’t remember anyone’s name.

Pots and pans clanked around. “And you’re
responsible for food for all of them?”

“Yes, sir,” Hayden said.

“You should start sending them out, make ‘em
fend for themselves.”

Hayden didn’t say anything, not wanting to
offend my grandpa. The smell of eggs churned my hung over stomach.
I snuck down the stairs and went outside.

Thin grays clouds covered the sky, trapping
in humid air. I walked barefoot through the yard, dew soaking my
pajama pants. I stopped by a pile of rocks. Weeds stuck out through
the gaps.

“Hey, Zoe,” I said, clasping my hands
together. My bottom jaw began to tremble. I sank to the ground,
crossing my legs. I closed my eyes and leaned forward, putting my
head in my hands, not moving. I needed to be still.

The grass rustled behind me. I opened my
eyes, face still covered with my fingers.

“Riss?” Jason said softly. My shoulders
relaxed. He came closer. “Hayden’s looking for you. I thought you’d
be here.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“You ok?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. I was trying
hard not to feel anything.

Jason sat down next to me. “I miss him.”

“I tried.” I closed my eyes, blocking back
the tears. “But I couldn’t save him.”

“It’s not your fault, Riss.”

I nodded. Somewhere in me I knew it wasn’t my
fault, just like Rider. But I couldn’t push the crippling feelings
of guilt away. He put his hand on my shoulder.

“When we saw those people die in that parking
lot…you know, when you, Padraic, and I went out for supplies?” He
shook his head. “It gave me nightmares for weeks. So…I don’t know.
This sounded better in my head. I’m sorry, Riss. But at least you
were with him. He wasn’t alone.”

I looked up at Jason. I hadn’t thought of it
that way. “Thanks,” I said.

Jason hugged me. “I’m gonna tell Hayden
you’re here. He was worried.”

I nodded again but didn’t get up. I watched
spiders crawl in and out of the crevices of the rocks until Hayden
came. He stopped behind me.

“We should go,” I said without turning
around.

“Where?” He knelt down.

“I heard you guys talking.”

Hayden looked straight ahead. “It’s a crazy
idea, Riss. Crazy and stupid.”

“You know what’s stupid?” I asked, temper
rising. “This!” I waved my hand at Zoe’s grave. “All of this! This
world…” I trailed off, shaking my head. I turned to Hayden. “I
don’t want to live like this! Do you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what other choice do we have?” Anger
burned inside of me. “Our time
is
running out. We haven’t
grown enough crops to get all three hundred of us through the
winter. Going to warmer weather isn’t an option. Hayden, what will
we do?”

He sat down and took my hand. “I don’t know,
Riss.” The line of worry was back between his eyes.

I curled my fingers around his. There was one
thing I did know for certain: I loved Hayden more than I ever
thought I could love anyone. I would make him happy in any way
possible.

I looked over the stones at the field behind
the house. I wanted to stay here with Hayden. I exhaled. That
wasn’t an option. The sun came out from behind a cloud, warming my
skin. We couldn’t stay…but we could come back.

I turned to Hayden, squeezing his hand.
“Hayden,” I started. “I never knew what to do with my life before.
I was lost—so lost. I had no idea what I was doing or what I
wanted. But now I do. I want to be with you. I want to grow old
together. I want to live in a world where we don’t have to worry
about surviving the winters or getting attacked and eaten if we
step foot outside the fences. I want to laugh and have fun and
spend all day making love because there is nothing better to do.
And I will do anything to get that. If that means going to New York
then we have to do it. We can’t do this on our own.”

The line of worry faded and a small smile
pulled up his lips. He drew me in. “Then we’ll go.”

My heart sped up when the gates came into
view. Seeing the gates to the compound always had that effect on
me. I still remember my apprehension when we first came here,
worried that maybe I’d made a mistake in trusting Hayden. I never
doubted him for a second. From the moment we met I trusted him. I
couldn’t explain why, even looking back now I couldn’t find
anything logical that made me trust his word. I just did. And I was
damn glad that I had.

Hayden let off the gas, letting the truck
slow down on its own. My stomach flip flopped. I was so nervous to
go inside, to have people see us come home without Wade. Hayden
flicked his eyes to the rearview mirror, meeting mine for a few
seconds. My grandpa sat shotgun and Jason and I were in the
back.

We had quite the entourage. The four of us
were in the truck, leading the way. Bentley, Marla, Anne, and two
more from their group piled in the Jeep. Aubrey, Shawn, and Joel
drove a truck with my grandpa’s chickens in the bed. Stephanie, her
daughter, Daisy, and the other young girl drove a minivan full of
supplies, and the remaining people crammed into the SUV my grandpa
had been driving.

To be safe, we cleared out the farmhouse of
weapons and supplies. The same day Hayden and I decided to leave,
my grandpa went overboard on locking up the house and the barn.
Hayden and Jason went outside to help. I stayed in my room, curled
up in bed. Now I felt slightly ashamed of that. But at the time, I
couldn’t get the horrendous images of Wade’s disemboweled body out
of my head.

I saw him every time I closed my eyes. His
cries of pain echoed in my ears. Even now, as we passed through the
gates of the compound, I could smell the death around us mixed with
the metallic scent of Wade’s blood.

I caught sight of Jason out of the corner of
my eye. He was close to falling apart. Though he wasn’t with Wade
at the time of his death, he felt guilty. Wade was his partner.
Jason didn’t have to say it out loud; I knew he felt like he had
failed Wade by not being there.

I didn’t want to tell him that I felt even
worse. I
was
there. And I still failed him. I reached across
the bench, putting my hand on top of Jason’s. He turned, giving me
a forced smile and gave my fingers a squeeze.

The normal chaos of bringing new people into
the compound buzzed around us. Things always moved fast, whisking
the newcomers away to the quarantine barn as soon as they set foot
outside of their vehicles.

I got out of the truck, standing by my
grandpa. It became apparent, right away, that something had gone
horribly wrong. Not all of us had returned.

There was no way I was letting my raw
emotions go uncloaked in front of anyone except those who had been
in the truck with me. I took a deep breath and buried my
feelings.

After a moment of stunned sadness, the A3s in
charge of getting everyone into the quarantine barn snapped back
into action. Jones, an A3 who took care of the dogs, got in the
truck that had the chickens, asking Hayden if it was ok if he took
them to the farm.

Hayden nodded, forgetting he was technically
in charge of everything. Hayden, Jason, my grandpa, and I went into
the estate, entering through the front doors.

“Rissy!” Raeya exclaimed. She raced down the
stairs, followed by Ivan and Brock. A huge smile was on her face,
disappearing as soon as her eyes met mine. “What…” she started.
Then she saw my grandpa and almost fell down the stairs. “Holy
shit!” she swore.

“Hello, Raeya,” my grandpa said, giving her a
warm smile. Raeya stood, stunned, looking back and forth from my
grandpa to me. She was too busy taking it all in to notice that
Wade wasn’t with us. But Ivan and Brock did.

I started shaking. A tear escaped, rolling
down my face. Raeya saw and strode over. “Riss, what’s wrong?” She
looked around, taking in Ivan’s somber expression. Then it all
clicked. She wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her back,
pressing my face into her shoulder to hide my tears.

Everything happened in a blur. We moved into
the living room on the first floor of the estate, a room we rarely
used. Raeya stayed close to me, holding my hand and telling me it
was going to be ok. My grandpa sat on the other side, explaining
what he knew about Wade’s death to Ray.

Hayden reported the mission to Ivan and
Brock, who said they would make the official announcement, giving
us time to get cleaned up and rest. Everyone was ok with that plan,
even my grandpa. I knew he was bursting with questions but kept
them in for my sake.

To keep the peace, Raeya offered to show him
around, leaving Hayden, Jason, and me time to deal with everything
now that we were back. Sometimes Ray knew me better than I knew
myself. There was no way I could deal with it all at once, no
matter how much I tried to convince myself I could.

* * *

I woke with a start, shooting up and throwing
the blankets back only to see that I was covered in blood. A small
cry of horror escaped my lips. I blinked, eyes not focusing in the
dim dawn light that came in through the curtained window of our
room.

Heart racing and unable to breathe, I
scrambled out of bed, my feet getting caught in the sheet. I
tripped, falling with a loud thud to the floor. I blinked, pulling
myself out of the nightmare. I untangled my feet and sat on the
floor, panting. I wasn’t covered in blood. It was all in my
head.

I rubbed my eyes and stood, going to the
closet to grab clothes and my bag of shower supplies. I wasn’t sure
where Hayden was or when he got up. He had taken a few days off
when we got back, giving himself time to grieve and time to deal
with my constant nightmares.

I’d showered last night and had braided my
wet hair. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face
then went back to my room and dressed in jean shorts, boots, and a
white t-shirt. I unbraided my hair, running my fingers through the
wavy locks. I didn’t feel like putting forth the effort to braid it
again so I left it hanging down my back.