The Ugly Duckling (15 page)

Nicholas followed him from the room. “How is she doing?”

“Physically she couldn’t be better. Mentally …”

“Yes?”

He shrugged. “She behaves normally. She’s even started to occasionally joke with Phil. If she has bouts of depression, she doesn’t let anyone know about it.”

“Not even Tania? You said they were close.”

“Not as far as I know.”

“But you’re afraid she’s bottling everything up inside her?”

“No question, but there’s nothing I can do to prevent it. We’ll just have to hope she doesn’t shatter at the wrong time.” He glanced at Nicholas. “You haven’t seen my handiwork yet. I think you’ll approve.”

“I know I will. You’ve always done good work.”

“But Tania says Nell is exceptional. Of course, she’s really complimenting herself.” He opened the door of the gym. “She gave me the blueprint.”

Nell was alone in the cavernous room, her back turned to them as she did chin-ups on the wooden bar against the opposite wall. She was dressed in white shorts and a loose sweatshirt, and she looked taller than he remembered. No, not taller. Sleeker, leaner, stronger. She hadn’t heard them come in, and he could sense a concentration that was nearly tangible as she slowly raised and lowered herself.

“Christ, is she always this intense?” Nicholas asked softly.

“No, most of the time she’s more intense. She must be having an off day.” Joel raised his voice. “Nell.”

“In a minute,” she called. She finished the set and dropped lightly from the bar. She turned to face them.

Nicholas inhaled sharply. “What the hell blueprint did Tania give you?” he muttered.

“Helen of Troy. Unforgettable but vulnerable.” He smiled with satisfaction as he watched Nell come toward them. “I did good, didn’t I?”

“Good? You just may have created a monster.”

“I don’t think it’s had any detrimental psychological effect. It doesn’t seem to mean much to her. Tania said she needed a face to open new doors for her.”

“It depends on what’s on the other side of those doors.” He stepped forward to meet her. “Hello, Nell. You’re looking very fit.”

Nell pulled the hand towel tucked into her shorts
and wiped the sweat from her face. “I
am
fit. I’m getting stronger every day.” She turned to Joel. “You didn’t tell me he was coming.”

“He wants to talk to you.” He smiled. “And you’ve done enough for this morning.” He turned and headed for the door. “I’ll see you after lunch.”

“I wanted to talk to you too,” she said as soon as the door closed behind Joel. “Mr. Kabler was here.”

“I know. Joel told me. Did he disturb you?”

“No, he was very polite. He didn’t even ask many questions.”

Nicholas felt a flicker of surprise. “No? That’s odd. Kabler usually digs like a ferret.”

“He seemed to wish to reassure himself that you hadn’t murdered me.” She paused. “And to warn me you were a criminal and not to be trusted.”

He lifted a brow. “Really?”

“I don’t care if you’re a criminal, but it does matter if I can trust you. Tania says you always keep your word. Do you?”

“Yes.” He smiled faintly. “But don’t endow me with any false virtues. I’ve always found honesty is good business.”

“Honesty?”

“My version. I keep my word and I play by the rules of the game in motion. It’s important that everyone know where they are with me.”

“And where am I with you?” She met his gaze. “You’re no philanthropist, and yet you’ve taken the trouble to bring me here. You’ve even tried to pay my bills. It might make sense if you thought I could be of use to you, but you’re refusing my help.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Well, I need yours,” she said bluntly. “Perhaps
need
is too strong a word. If you won’t help me, I’ll still find a way, but it would be faster if you’d help me.” Her
hands clenched into fists. “I won’t be a goat for the slaughter and I won’t get in your way. If you won’t help me any other way, tell me what I need to know. I’ll do the rest.”

He was again aware of that terrible intensity she was emanating. “Do you know how many men Gardeaux surrounds himself with?”

“I know that one of them is Maritz.”

“Who has killed more men than he can remember. No, I take it back, he remembers every one because he enjoys it. And then there’s Rivil, who killed his own mother because she forbade him to join a teenage gang in Rome. Ken Brady considers himself a great lover. Unfortunately, he not only likes to screw women, he likes to hurt them. Gardeaux had to pay a tidy sum to keep them from putting Brady away for a long time when he decided to cut the nipples off his last mistress.”

“Are you trying to shock me?”

“Dammit, I’m trying to show you that you’re out of your depth.”

“You’re only showing me that you know Gardeaux and his men very well. Will you tell me more about them?”

He stared at her in exasperation. “No.”

“Then I’ll have to do it myself. I’ve already found a little about Gardeaux and Bellevigne.”

“Kabler?”

“No, I went to the library and accessed Nexis.”

“So that’s why you were questioning Phil about computers. He’ll be disappointed that you used him. He likes you.”

“I like him too. But I needed to know.” She started down the hall. “I have to shower and dress. Tania is picking me up in an hour to take me to Joel’s house.”

Dismissed. He was no longer of use to her, so she was discarding him. He found he was experiencing a
mixture of annoyance and amusement. He followed her. “You’re staying with Joel? He didn’t tell me.”

“Only for a few days.”

And then she’d be heading for Bellevigne and straight into Maritz’s arms. “Can you hit a target with a gun?”

“No.”

“Can you use a knife?”

“No.”

“Karate? Choi kwang-do?”

“No.” She whirled on him, her eyes blazing. “Are you trying to make me feel inadequate? I
know
I’m inadequate. When I was struggling with Maritz, I had to throw a goddamn lamp at him. I’ve never felt that helpless in my life. When we were struggling on the balcony, he had no trouble overpowering me and tossing me over the side. He’d have trouble now. I’m getting stronger every day. And if strength isn’t enough, then I’ll learn whatever I have to learn.”

“Not from me,” he said grimly.

“Then I’ll find someone else.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that you turn yourself into some kind of commando. I was trying to show you how futile you’d be against Gardeaux.”

“You showed me. Don’t worry, I won’t ask you for anything again.” She started to turn away, and then stopped. “Except one thing. Do you know where my daughter and husband are buried?”

“Yes, I believe your husband’s mother requested the remains be brought back to his birthplace in Des Moines, Iowa.”

“Jill too?”

“Yes. You seem surprised.”

“Edna Calder cared nothing for Jill. Richard was her whole world, and there wasn’t room in it for anyone else.”

“Even you?”

“Particularly me.” She paused. “Do you know what cemetery they’re—” She broke off and had to start again. “I want to visit the graves. Do you know where they are?”

“I can find out,” he said. “But I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“I don’t care what you think,” she said fiercely. “This is
my
business. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I have to do that before I do anything else.”

He studied her. “Then that’s what we’ll do.” He turned away. “Get dressed. I’ll make the airline reservations and tell Joel that I’ll deliver you to Tania tomorrow morning.”

She stared at him, caught off balance. “Now?”

“Des Moines is only a short hop from here. You said that you needed to go.”

“But you don’t have to go with me.”

“No, I don’t, do I?” He walked away from her. “I’ll make a few phone calls and pick you up in an hour.”

P
EACEFUL GARDENS
.

The scrolled sign arched between the stone buttresses of the entrance of the cemetery. Why did cemeteries always use arches? Nell thought dully. Probably to bring to mind heaven and pearly gates.

“All right?” Nicholas asked as he drove the rental car through the gates.

“Yes.” It was a lie. She had known she had to do this and had hoped that numbness would kick in. It had not. It was like one of her nightmares. Raw. Terrible. Inescapable.

He drew up before the gatekeeper’s cottage. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

He was going to find out where the graves were located.

Jill
.

He was getting back into the car. “Just over the rise.”

A few minutes later he was guiding her through the graves. He stopped at a bronze marker. “Here.”

JILL MEREDITH CALDER
.

Here we go up, up, up

Up in the sky so blue …

Tanek’s hand grasped Nell’s elbow as she swayed. “She’s not here, dammit,” he said violently. “She’s in your heart and memory. That’s your Jill. She’s not
here
.”

“I know.” She swallowed. “You can let me go. I’m not going to faint.” She straightened her shoulders and moved a few paces to a larger, more ornate marker.

RICHARD ANDREW CALDER

BELOVED SON OF EDNA CALDER
.

No mention of Nell or Jill. In death Edna had reclaimed her son. Not that she had ever lost him. He had never really belonged to Nell.

Good-bye, Richard.

“Lots of flowers,” Nicholas commented.

Richard’s grave was heaped with bouquets of every flower imaginable. Fresh bouquets. Her gaze shifted back to Jill’s grave. Nothing.

Damn you, Edna.

Nicholas’s gaze was on her face. “Not a very loving grandmother.”

“She’s not her grandmother.” She wouldn’t let that bitch claim any part of Jill. “Jill wasn’t Richard’s daughter.” She turned and walked away from the graves.

Good-bye, Jill. I’m sorry I had to leave it in her hands, baby. I’m sorry for everything. God, I’m sorry …

“I want flowers on her grave every week,” she said jerkily. “Lots of flowers. Will you see to it, Tanek?”

“I’ll see to it.”

“I don’t have much money now. I’ll have to contact my mother’s lawyers and see if I can—”

“Shut up,” he said roughly. “I said I’d see to it.”

His roughness was comforting whereas politeness would not have been. She did not have to pretend with Tanek. She doubted if he would have been fooled by pretense anyway. “I want to leave here. Is there a flight back this evening?”

“I’ve already booked two seats on the red eye.”

“I thought we were going to stay until tomorrow morning.”

“Not if I could get you out of here sooner. Good-byes suck. That’s why I never say them anymore. I knew this was a mistake.”

“You’re wrong. I had to do this.”

The anger gradually faded from his expression. “Maybe you did,” he said wearily as he opened the car door. “What the hell do I know?”

T
hey arrived back in Minneapolis after midnight and were met at the gate.

“Jamie Reardon, Nell Calder,” Nicholas said. “Thanks for meeting us, Jamie.”

“My pleasure.” His astonished gaze was fixed on Nell’s face. “Ah, you’re a true beauty, aren’t you?”

His Irish brogue was as soothing as his craggy features. She smiled. “Not a true beauty. Courtesy of Joel Lieber.”

“Close enough.” He fell into step with them. “If you’d drop into my pub, it’s sure the boys would be making up poems about you.”

“Poems? I thought poetry was a lost art.”

“Not to the Irish. Give us a dollop of inspiration and we’ll create a poem to stir the soul.” He said to Nicholas,
“I got a phone call from our party in London. He may have something for us. He said he wants you to call him.”

“Right away.” He stepped through the door leading to the parking lot. “We have to drop off Nell at Joel Lieber’s.”

“Not tonight,” Nell said. “It’s too late and they’re not expecting me until tomorrow. I’ll check into a hotel.”

He nodded. “We’ll get you a room at our hotel.”

“It doesn’t matter.” London. She should probably question Tanek about the phone call. No, she was too exhausted and she doubted if he’d answer anyway. At last the numbness had set in, but it was too late. “Your hotel will be fine. Thank you.”

Jamie opened the door of the car with a flourish. “You look a bit weary. We’ll have you snug in bed within the hour.”

“I am tired.” She smiled with an effort. “Thank you for picking us up at such an inconvenient hour, Mr. Reardon.”

“Jamie,” he said. “It was no trouble. I always try to pick up Nicholas. He doesn’t like cabs. You never know who’s driving them.”

A chill went through her. What must it be like to live in a world where everyone was suspect? “I see.”

Nicholas glanced at her. “No, you don’t see. You have no idea.”

There was so much leashed ferocity in the words that it startled her. No arguments. She didn’t think she could bear conflict just then. She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. “I don’t feel like talking, if you don’t mind.”

“So polite. Gardeaux has excellent manners too. He’ll use all the right words and then he’ll tell Maritz to cut your throat.”

“Nick, she doesn’t appear to be …” Jamie said. “Don’t you think you could wait a bit?”

“No,” Nicholas said curtly.

She was being a coward. She forced her lids open. “Say anything you want to say.”

He gazed at her for a moment. “Later.” He turned away and looked out the window.

Nicholas arranged to get her a room three doors down from the suite he shared with Jamie.

After unlocking his door, Jamie turned with a smile. “Get a good night’s sleep. Unfortunately, I doubt if I will. I’ll be trying out the rhymes of the poem I’ll lay at your feet come morning.”

“He’s just a poseur,” Nicholas said as he nudged her down the hall. “He’ll be asleep in ten minutes.”

“He has no soul.” Jamie sighed as he opened the door. “It comes from living with sheep and other coarse creatures.”

Nell smiled. “Good night, Jamie.”

Nicholas unlocked her door and preceded her into the room. He went about the room flicking on lights and adjusting the thermostat. “Did you eat any lunch before we left the clinic?”