The Variables (23 page)

New islands, a new life, and a new outlook awaited Lucy now. She had her mother’s peppy sound bytes memorized, but she didn’t believe them for a second. She was scared. And she was cognizant that without Grant by her side, she was going on this adventure alone.

She held Grant tighter, wishing that she could just stay and let her family go on without her. If only it would be easy to miss
this
plane, and trap herself with him in a room again. Back at Pacific Lake High School, she had only wanted to stay safe and find her family. But it might have been easier if they had never found out about Nebraska, never created variables, never tried to get here at all. She never thought she’d pine for the good old days of being locked in a storage room.

“Maybe I should send a decoy,” Lucy said. “You think there are any shortish, blondeish girls bound for Copia who could pass for a King until they’re at least in the air?”

“Not on your life,” Grant answered with a smirk. “If it were anyone else’s mom, I’d say you have a real chance of success. But Mama Maxine? No way.” His smirk faded. He looked close to tears.

“My dad said he was working on a way—”

“I don’t want you to worry about it,” Grant interrupted swiftly. He gave her a squeeze. “Really. So, it didn’t work out right away. That doesn’t mean it’s not going to work out eventually.”

“Well, that’s ridiculous, because I am getting on a plane in less than an hour and I don’t know when I’m going to see you again,” Lucy replied. She couldn’t help the emotion and she made a small sound of frustration before letting the tears fall. “This is stupid. I shouldn’t cry.”

“Lucy—”

“These stupid wristband bracelets are our only identifying materials.” She flicked the yellow band on her wrist—like a hospital bracelet, it had her name, family name, and Island destination in printed letters across the top. “What is stopping you from just swapping bracelets with Dylan or your other roommate?” Lucy asked. She wiped a tear with the back of her hand and raised her eyebrows in expectation. “That’s all it would take. Buy us some time. Don’t they want to trade with you?”

“Lucy...” Grant started again.
 

“It would work. I know we could get it to work.” Lucy drew back an inch and looked at Grant, evaluating him.

Grant shrugged. “Dylan is heading to Paulina and Todd’s on the list for one of the other ones...I don’t know...New Cochran, I think. Trading with them won’t get me any closer to you today, Lucy. Look, I believe your dad will come through and I’m not going to give the powers that be some other reason to think I’m just another rule-breaking jerk. I want to be with you and so I’m going to have to do this the hard way. I’m sorry. It will work out. It always works out.”

“Sure,” Lucy said. She exhaled and grumbled under her breath. “Way to be a standup guy about it.” She nudged her shoulder into his and forced herself to smile.

“Nope,” Grant said. He laughed and kissed her head again. “Don’t do that. We have eight minutes left. No pouting.”

“I want to
fight
this,” she told him, and she looked up at him with her eyes wide and pleading. “I hate that I’m going to just walk out of here today, head up to the surface, and not
do
anything. Does that sound like me? To just do nothing?” She said it with a real sense of conviction, but even as the statement left her mouth, she wondered if it was true. She wasn’t Cass and she wasn’t her mother. She wanted to be brave and determined, she saw herself that way, but that didn’t make it true.

“Save your energy. I’ve already told you that it’s going to work out.”

She leaned back away from him and narrowed her eyes. “Sometimes I really dislike your optimism.”

Grant looked at her apologetically. “I’m not always positive—”

“You believe everything is going to turn out okay in the end, right?”

He shrugged. “With us? I do.”

“Okay,” Lucy said and she snuggled back in close. “What if...what if I just have a bad feeling?”

“I don’t know,” Grant answered. “Look...you don’t know what the Islands are going to be yet. They could be awesome! I mean you know they are going to be awesome. You know I’ll follow you anywhere, Lula. You know it. Only—”

“You want it to be okay.” She said it softly, the realization creeping over her that Grant was going to try to make the most of any place he ended up. She wanted him to be her co-conspirator, her partner against the people who had hurt her. That wasn’t Grant. It would never be Grant. “I understand,” she said and kissed him on the cheek.

“But hey,” Grant said with a shrug. “I’ll do whatever you say. You want to take on the most powerful man in the world...who has an army and chemical weapons at his disposal? Why not! Just another Tuesday, right?”

Lucy broke into a huge grin and she couldn’t help but laugh. “I feel like that’s even better than a marriage proposal. How do you know your boyfriend loves you? He’s willing to have a showdown with a ruthless dictator or plot an escape off a giant metal island in the middle of the ocean.”

“Technically, it’s nowhere near the middle of the ocean. And...I never said anything about love.”

Instantly Lucy’s face bloomed a deep crimson and she fell over on to the stripped mattress and buried her head. She mock-whimpered into the blue and white floral pattern. A button pushed into her cheek. “You ruined it,” she lamented. “You ruined my first time saying that word to anyone.”

Grant put his hand on her back and she turned to him. Her eyes twinkled.

“Technically,” he said again, “you declared that
I
loved you. Not the other way around.” He tucked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear. “But you’re right.” He smiled. That dimple. She melted. “I love you very much, but I’ve known it for a long time.”

“A
long
time?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

“I’ve known for a long time, yeah,” Grant said.

“Before we kissed?” Lucy whispered, smiling, her eyes welling with tears.

“
Way
before.”

“Before Wyoming?”
 

“Eh...around Wyoming.”

Her memory went back to the stillness of the Jackson Lake Mountain Lodge.

“We should go back to those cabins sometime. It was nice there. Peaceful and untouched...it was easy to pretend that the darkness didn’t exist.” Lucy sat up on her elbows and smiled.

“Then we’ll go back,” Grant declared with a nod. “That will be our place. If we ever get separated—”

“Don’t even say it,” Lucy said quickly. She shot up on the bed and clasped a hand over Grant’s mouth. He stared at her wide-eyed. “It’s bad luck. You can’t even say it...promise?” He nodded and she removed her hand. “We will go back to Wyoming sometime. Together. Promise?”

“Okay, okay. I promise,” he said.

The door to the room banged open again and Harper traipsed in holding her stuffed giraffe by the neck. “Mom says that you need to finish up!” she announced with a hand on her hip, full of six year-old attitude. Without budging, Harper stood front and center, watching and waiting for a reply.

“Tell mom I’ll be there in a second,” Lucy said to her younger sister, and she shooed her away. Harper stuck out her lower lip and then turned back around and rushed into the main living area, leaving the door wide open.

“She says she needs a second!” her little sister yelled to the entire apartment.

“You should go,” Grant said, and he gave her a nudge.

Lucy reached around her neck and felt for the tiny metal clasp to Salem’s necklace. Unhooking it, Lucy slid it into her hand and pushed it forward into Grant’s chest. He wrapped his own hand around hers and tried to push her hand back, but she didn’t budge.

“Keep it safe,” she said. “I know you’ll come back to me soon if you have this, because you know how much it means to me.”

“Faulty logic,” Grant replied. He stared at her closed palm; the chain dangled in the air. “You keep it,” he told her. “I don’t need that necklace to hurry back to you.”

Lucy shook her head. “I want you to take it.”
 

“Now, Lucy. It’s time,” Maxine said from the doorway.

When she turned, she saw her mother standing with her arms crossed. While her body language and tone conveyed frustration, her mother’s face was soft and forgiving, and Lucy thought maybe even a bit sad. She understood.

“We have to go, Grant,” Maxine said. “I’m sorry...”

Grant looked at Lucy and then slid his hand into her outstretched palm and collected the necklace. He took it and clasped it around his own neck; he held the cross between his thumb and index finger and spun it on the chain. Lucy smiled and he shrugged.

“Be safe,” he said to Lucy in an almost-whisper. With his free hand he reached into the waistband of his pants and pulled out an envelope. “For tonight. Before you go to bed.”

“Mom—” Lucy turned to send her mother away, but she noticed that Maxine had already slipped from the door to give them one last moment together, alone. The place where she had been standing was empty. She turned back to Grant, took the letter from his hand, and wiped away a tear. She felt like her heart was breaking into two pieces. Her stomach ached, her brain went foggy; her entire nervous system responded to this one moment. “I love you,” she said, emboldened.
 

All the air went out of the room. For a second, all Lucy could hear was her own heartbeat pounding in her ears. It had to be perfect this time; it wasn’t a joke.

“Well,” Grant answered with a smile. “I loved you first.” Then he leaned over and kissed her cheek, just as another tear rolled down. He licked the saltiness off his lips and pressed his forehead into hers. “Seeing you right now just makes it so clear...I have to do whatever it takes to get back to you. You’re everything I have. You’re my entire family.”

“It wasn’t clear before?” Lucy asked, confused. She started to pull away, but Grant put his hand on the back of her head and kept her forehead pressed to his.

“Don’t read into things,” he whispered. “Nothing has ever been as clear as us.” Then he kissed her one last time. Without saying a formal goodbye, he exited the apartment, walking briskly past the waiting King family and their bags, packed and ready for their journey to Kymberlin.
 

Cass gave Lucy’s hand a squeeze. The girls walked hand-in-hand together through the gray hallways in silence; they both carried single bags filled with the entirety of their earthly possessions. While there was excitement in the air and anticipation for the journey ahead, their last march through the hallways of the System felt somber. The path to the single elevator to the surface led them through a network of long, door-less hallways. Lucy had imagined the remaining occupants lining up to bid them goodbye, cheering for them as they walked past, like they were soldiers marching off to war or astronauts journeying into space. Instead, the halls were quiet and abandoned, and those bound for the Islands walked in relative isolation.

They would ride the elevator in small groups of six, which would plop them back into the middle of the Brixton library. From there, they would board a passenger plane for the East Coast. Kymberlin was located off the coast of Maine.

From one Portland to another, Lucy thought. She shifted, moved forward, and shuffled along. The line slowed as people began to ascend to the surface.
 

Behind her, Lucy heard the distinct clap-clap-clap of high-heels against the tile flooring. She turned to see Blair rushing forward, weaving between the line of people, while holding Teddy in her arms. A short woman with a poorly executed A-line haircut and holding three bursting bags tried to follow Blair. She huffed and puffed behind her.

“Ethan! Wait!” they heard Blair call, and the line stopped to watch the spectacle. Lucy watched her brother as he turned, his eyes narrowed and suspicious.

Blair was crying. She wiped big tears from her cheeks. When she reached Ethan’s place in line, she stopped to catch her breath, and then she held her head up high and cleared her throat. Even with splotchy cheeks and red eyes, Blair tried to maintain her air of superiority.
 

“My father...well...he has,” she stammered and shook her head. “He ordered me to stay behind and
work
. I’m not to embark to Kymberlin until after the Copia residents have been dispatched.”

Ethan raised his eyebrows.

“I’m not happy about it either. There’s only so much yelling I can do before I’ve realized I’ve lost an argument. Look,” she said. “This is Allison.” She pointed behind her and the woman with the bags waved. “The boy’s nanny. But I thought...”

Teddy clamored forward and launched himself into Ethan’s arms. Ethan stumbled backward a bit and everyone watching the conversation held his or her breath. He balanced himself, and the people in the hallway sighed collectively with relief.

“What?” Ethan asked to Blair, placing his hands over Teddy’s ears; his tone sharp with disapproval. “You want me to be some glorified babysitter?”

“Absolutely not,” Blair said quickly. “
Allison
is the nanny. I only thought. Goodness, you’ll make me regret even coming to you. I thought you’d
enjoy
having some time with him. He’s been asking and—”

“What?” Ethan said again, leaning closer to Blair to make her feel uncomfortable. He lowered his voice. “Is this some kind of token offering? Watch your new kid on a plane ride. Get him settled into his new home. And then you’ll swoop back in and be the hero with your piles of toys.”

Blair cleared her throat. Lucy took a step toward the conversation, but she felt Cass’s hand tug her back.

“No, no, no, mon chéri. He’s fine,” Cass whispered to Lucy. “Come on. Let’s keep going.”

Blair turned to Allison. “The plane ride only. Then no more contact until I’m back. You understand?” Allison nodded and pulled a bag up on her shoulder. Blair looked back at Ethan. “I’ve been working hard to settle my little Theo...”

“His mom called him Teddy,” Ethan said loudly. “Teddy.”

“This was a mistake,” Blair said. She reached for Teddy, but he clung to Ethan and dug his heels into his back. “Fine. Just. Help him feel...calm.” She walked around so she could see Teddy’s face. “Th—Teddy? I’ll be back soon, okay? I just need to work for a little bit. Papa Huck will come see you and Allison will be there. Okay?”