The Visitor (23 page)

“I don’t know that anything is wrong.”

“Well, I do. I can read it in your eyes. I saw a change come over you at the end, when Mr Tate and his aunt were leaving.”

Cassandra turned back to her mirror. She pulled the brush through her hair a few more times and then set it aside.

“I’m starting to feel things for Mr Tate,” she confessed.

“Why is that a problem?”

Cassandra hesitated before saying, “He thinks I’m one of the beautiful Steele sisters.”

“You are one of the beautiful Steele sisters.”

Cassandra’s look was telling.

“You know what I’m speaking of, Lizzy.”

“I know how foolish people can be.”

Cassandra sighed and turned back to the mirror.

“I’m fine with my red hair, Lizzy; you know I am. My freckles are rather tiresome, but I don’t yearn to look like you or Charlotte. He can’t see me, Lizzy. I can’t have him falling for someone he imagines and then finding me.”

Lizzy felt her breath catch in her throat. That someone would not find her sister lovely was so painful to her that she could hardly breathe. Cassandra Steele was beautiful, not just because she was her sister, and not just because her face was utterly lovely—freckles and all—but because her heart was humble and sweet, and her love for Christ was real and deep.

“So you think he might have feelings for you?”

“At times I gain that impression.”

“And you do not think he’s asked his aunt how you appear?”

“He probably has, but imagining and seeing are not the same.” Cassandra met Lizzy’s eyes. “I can’t stand the idea of seeing disappointment in his gaze. I think it would pull my heart from my chest.”

“All right.” Lizzy had to get practical or cry. “Let’s just imagine that you are quite homely, nothing to look at at all. You don’t think him man enough to love your heart, to find you beautiful no matter what your actual appearance?”

“Point well taken, Lizzy, but no less easier to live with. I would ask myself for years if he was disappointed. That’s no way to live.”

“And it doesn’t help that I think you’re beautiful?”

“You can see me, Lizzy. There are no surprises for you. In truth, he may find my looks very appealing, but it’s that first moment I dread, that first look when I see recognition in his eyes.”

“And will you find me utterly cruel if I suggest that he may never see you, that all of this won’t matter in the least?”

“I’ve thought of that, Lizzy. I’ve even been so selfish as to think how easy that would be, but something in my heart tells me he will see again, and when that day happens, I will want to do nothing but hide.”

Lizzy could see that no number of words were going to bring comfort. She hugged and kissed her sister goodnight, exiting to her own room and telling the Lord that she was going to have to leave this with Him.

I want to fix it. I want to erase the pain in her eyes, but I can’t do that. Only You can give her lasting peace, Father. Help me to trust You to that end.

Chapter Eleven

Pembroke

“Do you think she enjoyed her gift?” Tate asked Harriet the moment they met at the breakfast table Saturday morning.

“Without a doubt, dear.”

“It sounded as if she did.”

“Your ears did not lie. She was delighted.”

“And our being there? Was she as pleased as she sounded?”

“Very much so. Did you doubt?”

“No, I just wish I could have experienced it with my eyes, so I’m trying to imagine all I can.”

“What did you think of her family?”

“They were very kind. I can tell they love each other very much.”

“I think Henry enjoyed you. He’s not overly talkative, but he made some efforts on your account.”

“Yes, he did. Cassandra has told me that he’s close to James Walker. I don’t believe I’ve met him.”

Food was served in the midst of their conversation. Harriet fixed Tate’s tea the way he liked it and waited for him to pray.

“Did you tell Cassandra about the doctor’s visit?” she asked after they began to eat.

“Yes.”

Tate’s voice had gone rather soft, so Harriet did not press him. That her nephew was falling for Cassandra Steele was only too clear. That his vision was on his mind, and how that might impact his future with her, was clear also.

Much as Harriet wanted to make suggestions about managing a romance, she knew Tate would have to handle this on his own. Just before Tate continued with his questions for her, she had a moment to wonder if he’d ever asked Cassandra whether she could love a man who was nearly blind.

“What did you think of Mr Tate?” Cassandra asked Henry the moment they were on horseback the following morning.

“He seems a fine man.”

“So you approve of my knowing him?”

Henry turned to look at her and found her eyes anxious for his approval.

“Yes, Cassie, I do. I would wish you not to rush into anything should a proposal present itself, but from what I know of Mr Tate, I approve of your friendship.”

“Thank you.”

“Will you be going to read today?”

“No. I’m taking a day off.”

Henry didn’t question her but nodded, his eyes speaking agreement.

Nothing else was said on the subject, or any subject, for that matter. On this particular morning ride, words were unnecessary.

Blackburn Manor

“I must show you something, Mr Walker,” Cassandra announced as soon as they arrived at the house Sunday after church. “Henry has given me a gift.”

Cassandra presented the miniature atlas she received on Friday night, and her host’s response was all she could have hoped for.

“This is marvelous. A perfect copy. Where did Henry find it?”

“I don’t know, but he said I needed one of my own.”

“And he’s right. Show me your favorite page.”

Cassandra turned to Africa.

“Now I wonder why Africa is so interesting to you,” he teased.

Cassandra dimpled at him but didn’t speak.

“How is Edward?” Mrs Walker asked, ushering them all into the dining room.

“He seems to be doing very well.” Henry fielded this question, always so at ease in Walker’s presence. “In his last letter to me, he didn’t think he’d be away too many more months.”

“It’s been so long already,” Lizzy added.

“And Charlotte? What do you hear from the new Mrs Barrington?”

“I think we’ll see them soon. Her last letter said she was ready to settle in at home, and I know they planned to stop for a brief stay before going on to Bath.”

“It’s a different world when children grow old enough to go out on their own,” Mrs Walker told them with a note of wistfulness. “This house rang with noise and laughter for just a few years. Now, unless the grandchildren are visiting, it’s as quiet as a tomb.”

“Speaking of which,” Walker put in, “the grandchildren will be visiting in about a fortnight.”

“How fun,” the Steele women chimed. “Is everyone coming?”

Mrs Walker told of the family’s plans as everyone enjoyed the meal. After that, conversation was never at a loss, and even when the meal ended and they moved to the parlor, the five adults continued to visit.

“I’m going to put Henry on the spot,” Walker said once they’d settled in with cake and coffee.

“Oh, my,” Henry said, only half joking.

“Forgive me, Henry, but I would like all of us to hear how you came to Christ. Are you willing?”

“If you’d like, Walker,” Henry said after clearing his throat. “Certainly, I will.”

The women in the room beamed at him with pleasure, causing him to laugh a little and feel even more shy.

“Where to begin?” he started awkwardly, but then remembered to just speak his thoughts. “I was young, but I recall it was at Newcomb Park. Father had been scolding Charlotte and me. I can’t remember the incident exactly, but he said that we needed to do a better job of loving and caring for each other. If I recall, we had been doing a good deal of quarreling.

“Anyway, I remember that he suddenly stopped, as though thinking of something. He asked us how true change occurs. I couldn’t answer, and Charlotte was quiet as well. He went on to explain that true change happens only on the inside.” Henry laughed a little in amazement. “I didn’t know what he was speaking of, and for the first time he told us how he’d come to love Christ and accept His forgiveness of his sins. That led to a discussion on sin, and Charlotte and I had to admit that we sinned daily.

“I remember how simple he made it. He used himself as an example. He asked what we would think if a runaway carriage was about to kill us and he jumped in front of us, dying to save our lives. We both cried at the very thought, but he went on to say that God’s Son had done that very thing on the cross. I recall that what really struck me was how he said Christ’s sacrifice would be trampled if we didn’t accept the new life we’d been offered.”

Henry paused as the enormousness of it came back to him. “I wanted that life he spoke of. Charlotte did too. Father shared verses from the New Testament about our humble hearts becoming Christ’s dwelling place. I wanted Him to come to me and never leave, so I confessed my sins and asked Him to save me.

“And I know it was real, for I didn’t want to bicker with Charlotte as much. At times my siblings made me feel cross, but something happened in my heart that day. I was changed from that time forward. I can only attribute it to Christ’s love.”

Henry had not been looking at anyone in particular, but he now noticed that his sisters and Mrs Walker all had tears in their eyes. It was too much for him. With a quiet word to excuse himself, he went to get some air.

“Did our tears drive him away, Walker?” his wife asked, reaching for her handkerchief.

“They may have, dear, but it’s all right. I’ll go and see him in a bit.”

“Thank you,” Lizzy managed.

Cassandra could only nod in agreement, not able to speak for some time.