The Waitress (11 page)

‘Right,’ said the next man in the queue. ‘A large latte. And a slice of toast – if you’re making.’

‘You asking?’ asked Katie.

There was a pause.

‘I’m asking,’ said the man, a hint of a smile on his lips.

‘Then I’m making. You sweet talker, you.’ As she went to the toaster, she called out, ‘Who else wants toast? I’m not coming back here again, I’ve got better things to do with my morning than rush to and from the bloody toaster.’

She was beginning to feel better.

Four people decided toast would be perfect this morning. When the queue died down, she and Sukie stared at each other. Neither of them spoke. They didn’t want to spoil the atmosphere. By the time the next rush started for the 7.44, Katie decided she really couldn’t be bothered to do any more coffees. Sukie did the first three, while she stood there, arms crossed, staring at the queue.

‘Excuse me,’ said a man tightly, at her. ‘I’ll have a coffee please. If you’re not too busy.’

‘Oh, I’m not too busy,’ she smiled sweetly.

‘Good.’

‘I’m just too bored.’

The queue suddenly became very English: some blushed, some looked away and some pretended they hadn’t heard. Katie wasn’t having any of that. She was on a roll.

‘Right,’ she said. ‘It’s about time you lot learnt how to make your own coffees. This is the coffee machine.’ She waved theatrically at the coffee machine and Sukie got out of the way. ‘Can you hear me at the back?’

The woman at the back of the queue made a soft guttural sound which Katie took as a yes.

‘Now, in case of emergencies,’ she explained, ‘such as when Sukie or myself are suddenly struck by how tedious our jobs are and piss off to get a life –’

‘Or there’s a fire,’ added Sukie, ‘and you lot need coffee to have the energy to run.’

‘Thank you, Sukie.’ Sukie bowed. ‘Sukie Woodrow ladies and gentlemen . . .’

The queue clapped.

‘You lot, said Katie, pointing at the queue, ‘will have to know how to make your own.’ She started making them their coffees. ‘Do Not Panic,’ she said. ‘Rule Number One. It’s not that scary. It may look it, but you will soon learn that any fool can do it. Yes, even you sir.’

The queue laughed as they were handed their cups.

‘Did you two come together?’ asked Katie, to two commuters who were wearing similar coats. They shook their heads. ‘Did you phone ahead and work out what to wear so the other children wouldn’t laugh at you? ’Cos it hasn’t worked, has it? Here, have a coffee.’

When Matt arrived at the end of their shift, all three of them ended up in the kitchen to help him as he started to sort out the backlog of washing-up.

‘Right,’ said Sukie, rinsing the cups and saucers before passing them to Katie, relay-style. ‘How did the date go?’

‘Hell on earth,’ said Katie, grabbing the stuff out of Sukie’s hands and filling the dishwasher as fast as possible. ‘I don’t want to discuss it.’

‘Oh dear,’ said Matt, trying to be sorry for Katie and not just relieved that he wasn’t the only loser in the world.

‘What happened?’ asked Sukie.

‘I abandoned him and went home,’ said Katie, turning on the dishwasher. ‘I don’t want to discuss it.’

‘You
what
?’

Katie wiped her hands on a tea-towel and looked at Sukie in mock surprise. ‘Oh don’t make out you haven’t done it a hundred times. I left him on his own in the restaurant.’

‘You’re exaggerating, aren’t you?’ asked Sukie. ‘You just mean you didn’t kiss him goodnight?’

‘I mean I left him on his own in the restaurant.’

‘You – you walked out on him while he was eating?’ asked Matt.

‘No!’ exclaimed Katie. ‘I’m not an insensitive bitch.’

‘I knew it,’ said Sukie. ‘I knew you were exaggerating.’

‘I waited until he was in the toilets,’ said Katie. ‘And then I left.’

There was silence.

‘Jesus,’ whispered Matt. ‘And I thought I was in trouble.’

Sukie frowned. ‘Let me get this straight – you waited until the man of your dreams was in the Gents and then you walked out of the restaurant?’

‘God. You make it sound like I’m weird.’

‘Before or after dessert?’ asked Sukie.

‘Before.’

Sukie shook her head. ‘I’ll never understand you.’

‘I know,’ sighed Katie. ‘I don’t want to discuss it.’

‘Was he awful?’ asked Sukie.

‘Nope.’

‘Did he smell?’

‘Nope.’

‘Did he grope you?’

‘Nope. I don’t want to discuss it.’

‘Have you phoned and apologised?’ asked Matt.

‘Nope.’

Sukie and Matt sucked in air and shook their heads.

‘Are you going to phone him?’ asked Sukie.

‘Nope. And I don’t want to discuss it.’

There was silence again.

‘So, what are you going –’ began Sukie.

‘Nothing,’ said Katie, her voice starting to crack. ‘My life is shit. It couldn’t get any worse. And may I say that I’m really grateful to you both for respecting the fact that I don’t want to discuss it.’ She went back out front, leaving Sukie and Matt in the kitchen. Quickly, quietly and without fuss, Sukie went to the dairy fridge and moved the A-4 sheet that had the photo of Dan and Katie to the top of the display of ‘The Ones Who Got Away’ on the meat fridge. Then she joined her friend out front.

She found Katie, frozen to the spot, staring at the café door.

Sukie followed Katie’s eyes and there saw Hugh, Katie’s ex number three, approaching, a big grin on his face.

‘It just got worse,’ said Katie.

Hugh was wearing a pin-stripe suit and blue shirt. His eyebrows shot up in surprise at seeing Katie there.

‘I hadn’t realised this was the café!’ he exclaimed.

‘I hadn’t realised you wore suits,’ she replied.

‘Thanks,’ he blushed.

‘It wasn’t a compliment,’ said Katie bluntly. ‘Coffee?’

Hugh almost laughed loudly enough to hide his blush at the insult and said yes to coffee.

As Katie made him his drink, he explained that he and Maxine had completed on their house purchase yesterday and had moved in last night. The builders were starting tomorrow to re-wire, re-plumb, re-open all the fireplaces, knock down a couple of walls and enlarge a window or two in their lovely Victorian house.

‘Maxine’s taken the day off work to unpack the kitchen things,’ he explained, ‘I was only able to get a couple of hours off this morning. It’s wonderful, you must come round. We feel like we’ve finally come home.’

‘I couldn’t be happier for you!’ exclaimed Katie, so loudly it was almost a shout.

He grinned and half-saluted her with his paper cup. ‘I guess I’ll be seeing you in here regularly.’

‘Excellent!’

‘Excellent!’

She watched him leave and then turned to Sukie.

‘Am I evil?’ she asked.

‘No.’

‘Then why am I being punished?’

They stared at each other as the sound of a strangled animal announced more customers. They stayed staring at each other.

‘Did you just eat a budgie?’ Katie asked Sukie.

‘No,’ said Sukie. ‘We’re saving that for the customers.’

‘I can’t look,’ said Katie. ‘I just can’t look. It’s my old maths teacher isn’t it?’

‘No, it’s worse,’ said Sukie, looking. ‘It’s Alec.’

They stared as Alec chatted animatedly – more animatedly than they’d ever seen him – to two tanned men in cheap and flashy suits, one of whom had an expensive camera. When he spotted them watching from the back corner, Alec raised one eyebrow half an inch and held up three fingers, to represent three espressos. Sukie and Katie both held up one finger back, to represent what he could do with his three expressos.

Then, mumbling, Katie made the drinks and took them over. As she reached the table, she overheard Alec boasting about the café’s popularity. One man then started waxing lyrical about Porter’s Green’s popular future and the other man joined in about the restaurant business being very popular at the moment. She tried to stop her hands from shaking as she placed their cups and saucers down on the table.

Alec stared at her.

‘Yeah?’ he asked. She’d obviously outstayed her welcome.

She turned and walked away, her life crumbling around her ears. When she reached Sukie and Matt, they were frowning at the men, one of whom had started taking photographs of the café, the other using a flashy looking electronic device to measure it.

Alec turned to them, gave them a sick smile and traced a line across his neck with his hand, his eyes fixed on them.

‘Why’s that man pointing a ray-gun at the wall?’ whispered Sukie.

‘Why’s Alec doing that?’ whispered Matt. ‘We’ve been shafted,’ whispered Katie.

‘Why?’ asked Matt and Sukie.

‘Those are estate agents,’ she said. ‘Alec’s selling up. So I guess we’re all out of jobs.’

7

That night, Katie sat at the bar where Jon worked and systematically got herself drunk. She squinted across to where Jon was serving another customer. Bloody customers. She needed him more than they did. Her bowl of peanuts had got all empty again. She started licking out the bowl.

‘I like a woman who knows what she wants,’ came a voice behind her.

She sat up and turned round to find some aftershave wearing a man.

‘That’s nice,’ she blinked at him. ‘What’s her name?’

‘You tell me.’

She frowned. ‘Crap name.’

‘What are you drinking?’

‘Peanuts.’

The man smiled. ‘That’s unusual.’

‘That’s nothing,’ she beamed. ‘I can fart Dancing Queen.’

The man’s smiled wavered and he sidled away. Tsk, thought Katie. Men are so predictable.

As soon as Jon returned, handing her a new drink, she started where she’d left off.

‘It’s hopeless,’ she moaned, gulping down her drink. ‘I’m hopeless.’

‘Phone him,’ repeated Jon.

‘And say what?’

He shrugged. ‘That you’re hopeless, that you like him and you’d like to give it another go. I’d find it incredibly endearing if a girl did that to me.’

‘Even after she’d left you in a posh restaurant by yourself the night before?’

Jon grimaced. ‘We-ell,’ he started.

‘And I’m going to lose my job.’

Jon sighed. ‘But you hate your job.’

Her face crumpled. ‘I know!’ she started to cry again.

‘I have to serve customers.’

‘Don’t go!’ whinged Katie, gripping his arm. ‘Stay with me.’

‘Katie!’ Jon unattached himself. ‘Do I come to The Café and stop you from working?’

‘No,’ sobbed Katie. ‘You bastard.’

Katie watched as he served customers for a while until Sukie arrived.

‘Thank God you’re here,’ cried Katie, putting her arms round Sukie’s neck.

‘I’m only here because you begged me to come.’

‘Did I?’ she said, surprised.

‘Don’t give me that,’ said Sukie. ‘You begged me to be here by ten.’

‘Did I?’

‘Oh God,’ said Sukie. ‘You’re pissed.’

‘Am I?’

During the next hour, Sukie managed to persuade Katie to phone Dan.

‘That way,’ she explained, ‘you take control again.’

‘Control,’ murmured Katie.

‘You’ve got to have control in at least one area of your life.’

‘Have I?’

‘Look,’ listed Sukie, ‘you can’t take control of finding yourself a career –’

‘No –’

‘– or of Alec making you redundant –’

‘No –’

‘– or of your family trying to rule your life –’

Katie looked at her friend. ‘Let me know when this is going to start making me feel better –’

‘– or of Hugh turning up out of the blue to see your final humiliation –’

‘Gosh, you’re really helping –’

‘– but the one thing you can do is phone Dan and just explain.’

Slowly Katie burped. Everything Sukie was saying was true. Thanks to Jon explaining how hard the evening had probably been from Dan’s point of view (it was so useful having a male friend) she’d realised that there was a fair chance Dan was feeling as wretched as she was. Yes, she would phone him. They could start again. And then everything would feel so much better. She was glad she’d talked it over with her friends. Now all she had to do was get home, be sick and go to bed. Preferably in that order.

Although Katie was petite, Sukie and Jon point blank
refused
to carry her home that night. Jon insisted he still had back pain from the last time and Sukie had high heels on. Instead, they forced her to drink four espressos and a pint of water before letting her leave the bar. This meant that thanks to them she was physically able to walk home unaided, but couldn’t do it too fast for fear of having an accident.

Suddenly she stopped. Her body was full to bursting with love for the whole wide world. She wanted global peace and no more starvation almost as much as she wanted to wee. And that was a lot. She squeezed the arms of her friends.

‘I love you,’ she whimpered.

‘Thank you,’ they said.

‘I do,’ she insisted, squeezing them both harder. ‘I love you both. Even when you really piss me off.’

‘Thank you.’

‘And you know what I’m going to do?’

‘Wet yourself?’ asked Sukie.

‘I’m going to phone him.’

‘Excellent,’ said Jon, starting to nudge her into walking again. ‘There’s a phone in the flat.’

‘I’m going to phone him!’ Katie started trumpeting, as they walked home. ‘I’m going to phone him!’

And then she stopped again.

‘Oh not again,’ whined Sukie. ‘We’ll never get there at this rate.’

‘Katie,’ implored Jon. ‘Please keep walking. I’ve got to finish
Chapter 10
tomorrow.’

But Katie couldn’t talk. She just stared straight ahead of them, a strange sound coming from her mouth. They both
followed
her eyes and just as she started to whimper, realised why she’d stopped this time. It occurred to both of them that they could try and hide Katie, but then realised that it was too late. They’d been seen.

For there in front of them, walking towards them was Dan. And he was not on his own. He was with a woman. Arm-in-arm with a woman. And if they all weren’t very much mistaken, that woman was Geraldine. They were still quite a way away, but approaching fast. So far, it was only Geraldine who’d spotted them, but it wouldn’t be long before Dan did.