The Way Home (Lights of Peril Book 2) (31 page)

“Hem, shhh.
Just a moment, please.”

He’s staring at me while my hands still cover his mouth.
He’s still and after everything we’ve been through since shit started to cave in around us, I can’t say I blame him, so I tread carefully.

I catch Ace in my
peripheral. He’s nervous for me. He doesn’t know what I’m about to say. No one shuts Hem up like this, but he will understand in a few seconds.

“Hem, I don’t want to get your baby drunk.
Is that a good enough reason that I’m ‘good’ right now?”

I feel Hem smiling under my hold.
It’s such a big smile I see the corners of his mouth on either side of my hand.

Then I hear
the reaction of those around us; Cricket whistles, Mace claps, and Ace… I hear Ace’s reaction and, for a second, I’m stunned and nervous as hell.

“Are you two fuckin’ kidding me with this shit?”
Ace rolls his eyes and steps off the bar stool, walking towards Hem and I as Hem pulls me closer to him and holds me tight.

Shit.

There’s no one thing that’s true.
It’s all true.

-Ernest Hemingway

Ace’s face is
set hard, “Hem, need a minute with Sadey. You can be pissed about it later, bro.”

Hem’s face is harder,
“Fuck no, ‘little bro.’ Are you insane?”

My response
is more soft and gentle.
This
is how women get shit done without fist pumping our chests. “Ace, give me and Hem a minute, I will be right back.”

I pull a still smiling Hem away from the bar where Ace stands, “Honey, I owe this to him.
I do. You don’t like it and I get that, but I want to talk to him.”

“Sadey, no.”
Clipped, short, and pissed.

“Hem, I didn’t ask.”

I see his eyes light with fight and ferocity, so I’m pulling out all the stops for this one.

“Honey, your baby is in my belly.
I am still sore from where you ravaged me in my bed this afternoon, twice. Safe to say that I’m yours. Give me this nicely or I’m taking it and we can fight about it later. Shouldn’t it be needless to say that I’m not the only one that owes Ace?”

He gets where I’m going with this.
Before Ace leaves us, Hem owes him words of appreciation for all Ace did in getting us back to each other. He will tell him thank you if he has any plans to live in peace with me anytime soon.

“God,
Jesus, woman, do it. Just go. I’m going to be right here. He starts his fancy bullshit with you again, be warned, I will fuckin’ hurt him.”

“You know I know this, but you also know you don’t scare me at all, right?”
I respond with a raised eyebrow.

He smiles and gives me a long drawn out, just for Ace, kiss. When he’s done with my mo
uth and I can speak again, I hiss at him, “I’m limiting your time with Shame. Especially after finding out what you and he used to ‘share.’ Stop putting your tongue in my mouth in front of everyone, Hem.”

When I turn to walk towards a confused looking Ace, I get a swat to my ass.
I don’t acknowledge it on the outside, but I’m smiling inside because I just got everything I requested out of Hem. This will never happen again, so I’m encasing this in my ‘once in a lifetime’ bureau, and locking it up tight to revisit during the many lost battles I know I’ve yet to face.

Ace puts his hand out for mine and his sweet
on me comes out, “Dance with me, bug.” I look back at a fumin’ Hem and know this is not a good idea, but I’ve pushed this far and it’s just a dance.

I put my hand in his and let him lead me to the floor.
Lynard Skynyrd’s ‘Simple Man’ is playing. Slow enough to dance to, but not full of enough sentiment to raise my caveman from his stool, yet enough to keep us under his stare. Cricket is doing his best to distract him with whiskey, but is failing miserably.

Ace
wraps his arms around my waist and I let my arms go to his neck. “Sadey, I’m sorry. Don’t be pissed off when I say that I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

He won’t look at me
. He’s studying the movement in the room over my shoulder. “I know I was an ass. I was married, knowing Hem was coming back, I still made a play for you. I’ve never felt like that for anyone and I fucked it up.”

I move my hand to his neck, forcing him to look at me.
I sigh because I really don’t want him to hurt any more than he already is. “I’ve heard your words. I know you mean them, no more verses needed. I’m sorry I wasn’t for you. You’re a wonderful man, maybe had I met you first.”

“Really?
Sadey, you’re being ridiculous right now. You would have had to have met me when you were
four
. Even then, I wouldn’t have stood a chance. You’re his, always will be, in life and in death.”

“I am.
Doesn’t mean I don’t love you and wish you all the happiness you deserve. I promise you right now, you will find someone to love you more than I ever could. I doubt I will like her for that very reason, but, Ace, I promise you will.”

He takes his hold
away from my eyes and scans the room and right then, I know I’m right. He’s looking for Cherry. His eyes scan until he finds her, then his tenseness relaxes. I follow his eyes to her. She and Hem are chatting at the bar. Hem is smiling ear to fuckin’ ear. My guess is she just told my man that she’s headed out with Ace.

He
takes his eyes from them and back to me as soon as I state the obvious, “She’s going with you, huh? She told me.”

“She is. S
he’s a good girl, but she’s struggling. I need the help with my crazy kid sister. She’s a terror and no way can I walk into that again alone. They can help each other.” He’s in denial of his own feelings for her and that’s okay. Hem was in denial for years and we found our way. Ace will find his, too.

As the song draws
to an end, Hem interrupts and I had assumed he was here for me and went to him on instinct, but he holds me at arm’s length away from him and looks at Ace, square in the eye. “Now I need a minute with you, son.”

I’ve not heard Hem use that word to Ace before
unless he was pissed at him. At this point I don’t know if it’s a term of endearment or not, but I’m not leaving them alone to sort it out.

“Shoot, you’re going to anyway
. Have at it, old man.” Ace starting with attitude, not good. The dense never learn.

Hem looks at him like he’s about to come unglued, then glances at me and
, as always, uses my calm to keep himself in check.

“Don’t get ruffled, boy.
I need to tell you something and I speak for Sadey and I both when I tell you that if there is anything that you ever need, at all, you need to know to ask. What you did for me when I was…well, when I couldn’t care for myself … that carries a lot of weight with me as well as everyone here. You need to call in a favor, you call it. If it’s for you, Cherry, or your kid sister, whatever you need.” Yes, Cherry most certainly told Hem she’s headed to California with Ace and Hem is more than relieved at that recent development.

Hem is getting emotional and Ace
’s apprehension has softened to appreciation. “So you’re not going to kick my ass again, for always loving your woman?”

Way to ruin it, Ace.
Damn it.

“Could you please refrain from
radiating to me your feelings for my wife? That would be nice. I’m reaching a point here. Fuckin’ kids. Just keep yourself safe, make yourself happy. Live long and free. We’re good.”

Ace surprises me by leaning himself into Hem for a man hug
which by definition requires hard slaps on each other’s backs. I step back and turn away because the emotions of this moment are just about too much on my already emotionally unstable and very hormonal body.

Ace turns from his hug that
he and Hem just shared and looks directly at me. He pulls me in a deep clinch and whispers in my ear, though noted, loud enough for Hem to hear it, “When that jug head messes this up again, and he will, I’m first in line. You wait for me, bug.” Then he kisses my temple for a moment too long and he’s jerked back, by Shame.

Shit,
not good
.

There is no love lost between Shame and Ace
. No friendship would ever be found here, but with Shame witness to Hem’s genuine words, Shame says what he needs to say and he’s not shy about it. “Well, you little fucker, I probably owe you as well. You need anything, I’m with Hem.”

Oh
, how incredible moving, Shame. Angels are weeping.

God, these men are just ridiculous
when comparing the size of their…egos.

Ace calls to Cherry with a loud whistle and a head jerk and it takes her only moments to drop her drink at the bar, tell everyone goodbye
, and follow him out the front door.

Hem looks so relieved when he turns to me again.
“Sadey girl, I’m taking your bossy ass home and you’re going to be my naked girl for as long as I am in need of it. Just because you
think
you pulled one over on me with your sass, payment is due.”

Those around us don’t even flinch at his words.

Hem is home, with me, and I’m determined now more than ever, to give us our
enough
.

“Oh, darling, you will be good to me, won’t you? Because we’re going to have a strange life.”
 

-Ernest Hemingway

Five years later…

-SHAME-

“Dad, they are taking away all my
goddamn cars again,
damn it.
I wasn’t bothering either one of them this time!”

Ryder, my
only
son, is five years old. After I got my boy, it seemed God found some extra humor he had laying around and decided to give it to me. Two years after Ryder arrived, my life flipped completely upside down a-fucking-gain.

We had twins, but no, not boys
. These were screamin’ and cryin’… girls. I haven’t drowned myself yet, but I’ve come damn close. I had my family plan and it did not include havin’
girls
, and sure as fuck not two and more certainly, not two at the same damn time. I couldn’t send them back, though. They are
mine
and they are
beautiful
. They have Mace’s light brown hair and my silver blue eyes, Hem’s heart, and their own already well developed personalities. Fuckin’ perfect.

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth, Ryder Carrick
. You’re just the right age for an ass whoopin’.”

Admittedly, we have some issues we are still working through.

Issue one; Mace is a mother by nature, thus making my boy walk on the pussy side at
times. Unfortunately, he got nothing from me but his roguish looks. On the inside, he’s a mix of both Hem and Mace, which makes him a kind hearted, loving boy… with a mouth that’s full of sass, you can guess which trait comes from whom.

Issue two; Ryder wanted brothers and
, of course, I promised him brothers because that was the plan. My fuck up and I’m paying for it every single day.

“Well
now, how nice is that, Shame? I’m sure he completely understands the importance of not using bad words, seeing that his father leads by example. Are you going to teach the girls this lesson as well? I imagine that both Amy and Amanda should be able to pronounce ‘ass’ soon. Should we get started with the ‘Hooked on goddamn Phonics’ or wait until they get some practice with ‘shit’ and move on to better words like ‘cock’ or ... ’fu?’”

“Shut your shit down, Mace.
Just take them outside already.  Leave me in peace long enough to regain some manhood, would ya?”

It is entirely possible that I’ve lost all fuckin’ control of my life.

Hem stares at me smiling like a goddamn idiot. “Brother, you’re whipped. You’ve always been whipped with Mace, but damn those little ones have you by the balls, dragging you out into oncoming traffic.”

He laughs out loud
at his ridiculous observation. He has no idea how much of a lickin’ I have taken over the past two years with those girls. Damn it to hell.

“Fuck you, we still playin’
or are we gonna settle in for some tea and a nice chat?”

Gunner is staring at both of us like we’ve lost our fuckin’ minds.
Can’t blame him. He hasn’t changed a bit. He’s never far from sight and, by the look on his face, he needs a domestic vacation from our crazy tribe. “Damn guys, deal the fuckin’ cards, will ya? I got shit to do tonight.”

Hem and I share a look.
We know something has had Gunner’s attention for a while now and he’s not been ready to share. Our guess, he’s finally fuckin’ picked a bitch and has been hanging with her more often than not. Maybe hanging around Hem and I and our women has finally rubbed off on him.

“What the fuck you got to do other than sit around here with us and bitch about the women in our lives
, since you ain’t got none in your own?” Good Lord, Hem, no fuckin’ tact.

“I met someone.”

Holy shit! We thought it, but he hasn’t had a steady woman since we met him. I hear an empty bottle drop into the sink behind me and look to see Sadey standing there with her stomach hanging over from being well into her third trimester now.

She and Hem are having another boy, go figure.
This will be his third Yes, a hat trick with boys…what was supposed to be my fuckin’ hat trick. Patrick is five, then Sadey got pregnant within a week of his return because apparently he’s a potent motherfucker. He named his second boy, who is now just four, Deacon Nathaniel, after Doc. Now his woman is going to spit out another one of his male spawn. He’s such a bastard.

High pitched squeaks are all we hear from Sadey in reaction to Gunner’s announcement.
There’s only a handful of dogs in the neighborhood that can hear her now.

“You found someone, Gunner?
Like, as in, you
found
someone? Shit, I gotta go tell Mace.”

“Sadey girl, he didn’t say that.
Jesus Christ, now you’re driving me nuts. Stop. He said he’s met someone. Do not romanticize it.
Met
doesn’t mean
found
someone. Those words don’t just automatically equate.”

Hem rolls his eyes and starts shuffling the cards.
“Where’s Honor? He ain’t back in five, we are dealing his ass out.”

Sadey sucks in a pouty breath because she knows she’s not getting more out of Gunner with Hem around.
“He’s with April. I just saw them. I think it might be a good idea if you deal them out. I’m going outside with Mace and the kids”

On her way out
, she smiles back at Gunner, telling him without words that they will discuss this later. He rolls his green eyes at her in inaudible protest.

After four years of Honor trying to convince April that he’s the one for her
, she finally said yes.

Honor and April were married l
ast month. The very same morning, April got her first taste of ink, without Honor even knowing about it.

During the ceremony, when the pastor advised it was time to exchange
the rings, Honor had grabbed her hand and went for the third finger, left side, just as you’re supposed to do. However, what he found there about brought his twenty-five year old ass to his knees. She had inscribed his name on her finger, marking it forever, no need for a wedding band.

When Honor’s eyes dawned
with realization of what she had done, he tossed the cheap ring he had purchased over his shoulder and sunk his tongue into her mouth, leaving a puzzled pastor to continue on without them.

T
hank fuck that shit’s over. Now, all we have left is Gunner.

Cherry and Ace are in Cali
. We don’t hear much from either one of them except to report in for birthdays or a call every holiday. They went through a whole lotta close call bullshit after they left here. Ace had to call Hem in as backup against a well-known organization in Las Vegas. None of it was good, but we all walked away in one piece, mostly uninjured.

Hem forgave Ace long ago for his plays on Sadey citing that Sadey could be
‘the one’ for any another man, but no said man stands a chance as long as he’s still livin’ and breathin’ because Sadey girl is his alone. This is true.

Raider and Cricket are
still around. They don’t generally hang out here if things are still and, thank hell, things have been still for a long time now. There have been no additional stirrings of any kind the last three years. No crazy family members, no contract killers, no attempts to human traffic our women. Nothing at all, but happiness. I’ve waited for this taste of happy all my life and it was worth waiting for.

After Gramma’s passing, Peyton and Derek stayed at the ranch in Montana.
They came to visit while the library was in process of sale. She had told Sadey and Mace she was “with child”, whatever. Call it what you want, all means the same. We’ve all been “with child” and that’s a sugar coating way of sayin’ you had great sex, lived through nine months of emotional torture from your woman, to end up with a screaming ball of each other that you love without request or condition.

Hood is Hood.
He still has no genuine interest in patching into Peril, or any other club for that matter. His plans are to roam free and live his life for both him and his sister as long as he can. He may never move past her tragic ending, but for everything he did for Peril, we will be forever in his debt and will help him how ever we can.

“I’m gonna take off
. I told Shaina I would be there by dinner and it’s about that time.” Gunner says this in passing, like he’s not about to get questioned or ridiculed by Hem.

“Oh hell, she not only has a name
, she has you on a schedule. Cute, Gunner, go get your girl and bring her by here sometime soon. I would like to meet the woman who stole the Grinch’s heart.”

“Fuck, no way.
You people are too crazy. She’s normal, and when I say normal I mean like every day, common, no drama, no chaos, and that’s a piece of normal I’m hanging onto for as long as I can.”

With that jab to Hem, he stands and walks towards the door, mocking Hem’s words to himself about bringing her here to meet us.
He will eventually, in his own time, just as he found her, in his own time.

As he opens the front door to go, we hear the screams and laughter of our families playing outside, free.
Peaceful sounds within a peaceful time.

“Shame, you ever think we’d end up like this?”
Hem asks before he finishes the beer in his hand.

“Nope.
Never did believe, but I always held on to the hope.”

I did
. I wanted this kind of life. I just never thought it possible until I had Mace in it, the way I wanted her in it. She fills me with all I will ever need.

Hem slaps my shoulder and starts to stand from the table with a now empty beer.
“Our boys, they are gonna grow old, fat, and happy together.”

“All will be fine as long as no boys
outside of our family get near my girls until they are at least thirty years old, living free and happy.”

He laughs at what I just said
, so I don’t think he gets me. I need to drill this shit in because I’m straight serious and, eventually, I’m gonna require his backup.

“My girls are off limits,
Hem. If I’m gonna keep sane through this female shit. That means no boys allowed or I won’t hesitate to start snapping limbs.”

Hem laughs loud.
He thinks I’m fuckin’ with him. I’m not.

“They are just kids, Shame.
Calm the fuck down. We don’t have to worry about that or anything else for a lot of years yet.”

“We were kids once too, Hem.”