The Way Things Are (11 page)

Feeling bolder, Patrick inserted another finger, gave Ken a moment to adjust, and then added another. He turned his fingers a little, tapping against the nub of Ken’s prostate.

Ken slapped the desk and hissed in a long, slow breath.

“Are you ready?” Patrick asked, stroking his finger inside Ken again.

Ken nodded. He tried to say something, but it came out as more of a choked squeak than a word. The sound was so hot it made Patrick’s balls ache. He pulled his fingers out carefully and squirted the rest of the lube into Ken’s gaping hole, then lined himself up. He set his feet a bit wider to account for the few inches of height he had on Ken, then rocked himself forward carefully. It was all he could do to hold on until he was fully sheathed in Ken’s slick, tight ass. He tried to hold still for a moment, to give Ken’s body time to relax, but Ken shoved back, insistent, and Patrick just couldn’t hold back anymore.

He pulled out a little and thrust back inside. He leaned close to Ken’s body and sank in deeper still, running his hand from the small of Ken’s hips to his shoulder. From there, he reached around Ken’s waist and wrapped his fingers around Ken’s cock again. Patrick was relieved Ken was getting hard again. He shifted the angle of each thrust slightly until he felt the flared head of Ken’s cock swell as he thrust in. Confident that he’d gotten the angle right, he picked up the pace, driving himself in and out of Ken’s welcoming body fast.

“Right there!” Ken cried.

Patrick leaned close nuzzled against his ear. Ken dropped his head to the desk and bent farther.

Patrick used his grip on Ken’s shoulder to pull his body back, impaling him on his cock hard. He paused, buried balls deep inside him, and relished the feel of hot skin against his thighs. It had been far too long since he’d touched anyone, too long since he’d had a chance to steal even a few moments of his life for himself. He didn’t stand a chance of making this last. He stroked Ken as fast as he could, breaking the rhythm he’d set with each thrust.

The tightening started deep in his balls, coiling like a spring until the pressure nearly made him scream. He came hard, riding out the strongest shockwave deep inside Ken’s body. He collapsed against Ken’s back as his release jolted through his body, panting as he tried to keep stroking Ken’s cock. The slick warmth of Ken’s come dripped over his knuckles and Patrick grinned, glad that Ken had managed to get off again. He wiped some of the come onto the head of Ken’s softening cock and stroked his thumb over the slit, eliciting a few gasps and tremors from Ken before Patrick finally pulled away.

He slipped his hand out from under Ken’s shirt and pulled him upright, tugging him against his chest where his lips found Ken’s salty neck and tender earlobe. “You okay?” he whispered between soft licks and kisses.

Ken’s head rolled to the side and he smiled up at Patrick. “I’m better than I’ve been for a long time.”

“I’m glad.” Patrick took the towel and wiped Ken off gently. “I know that shouldn’t have happened, especially in the back of Corbin’s shithole of an office, but that was amazing. I know it’s going to make things weird for you, working with Jay.”

Ken managed to get his pants sorted out on his own, and Patrick finally put on his new T-shirt.

Ken swayed again. He squeezed his eyes shut and held one hand to his forehead. “Do you want to…?” His eyes focused through the alcohol. “Oh God, you’re right. That shouldn’t have happened. You’re the father of one of my kids and I was trying to figure out how to invite you back to my place. How fucked up is that?”

Patrick caught him as he tried to step away from the desk. Ken tried to wrap his arms around his neck, and Patrick pulled him closer so he could. “I’m exhausted. I want to, but….”

Ken leaned back a little. “You up for flipping roles?”

“Oh, hell yes. I’m versatile.”

“You’d let me fuck you?”

Patrick grinned. “Do you have another condom?”

“We really can’t,” Ken said. He glared at Patrick, but didn’t let him out of his grip. “That was what I was trying to say. In case you’ve forgotten, your son has community service tomorrow morning. And coincidentally,” Ken said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes, “I’ve got to work. Of course, I’d have to work anyway, but that’s not the point.”

Patrick nodded and bumped his nose against Ken’s. “It’s all right.” Patrick tightened his arms around Ken’s waist and pulled him up into a quick kiss.

Ken laughed against his lips.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Maybe too much. I’m not about to black out on you, I swear. But we really shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know.” And he did. He knew this was a mistake before it began, but he couldn’t force himself to utter an apology. The quick release, combined with the memory of Ken’s body and voice, would fuel his imagination for a long time. But he felt bile rise in his throat as he realized he would still have to face Ken Atkins in the morning, and he’d have to do it with his son in tow. Without Ken pressed up against him, hard as steel, Patrick wasn’t so sure the awkward confrontation that was sure to happen when Ken was sober would be worth it.

“Why don’t I get you a cab?” Patrick asked quietly.

Ken stumbled a little, plastering himself to Patrick’s chest. He helped Ken navigate the mess of boxes and the still-pulsating crowd. For a moment he let himself pretend they were here together. He imagined he wasn’t working and Ken was his, not just for a few stolen moments in the back of the bar, but just plain
his
.

“Come home with me anyway,” Ken whispered, clinging to his shoulders as they finally made it out to the sidewalk. “Just for tonight? I know it’s a mistake, but it’s not like more sex could make things worse than they already are.”

“It would make things so much worse,” Patrick said, thinking about how right it felt walking through Corbin’s Attic with Ken in his arms. But the happy illusion wouldn’t last beyond the effects of the alcohol. He thought about Jay’s exhausted voice the last time he’d called, hours ago. He didn’t want to wake him up calling again, but he also knew better than to trust Jay wouldn’t sneak out if he didn’t get home. “Jay knows I’m supposed to be back around three. He answered when I called, but I’ve got to be there.”

He ran his thumb over Ken’s bottom lip, wishing he could kiss him and climb into a taxi with him. He knew damn well that wasn’t how these things worked, but he wanted to. “Do me a favor?” he asked, opening the door of a waiting taxi.

He helped Ken into the backseat and Ken smiled up at him. “Anything you want.”

“Two favors, actually. Promise we can do this again sometime, and don’t be pissed at me tomorrow.”

Ken dropped his head back against the seat of the taxi and chuckled. “Not something I can ever see myself getting angry about.”

He was asking for a promise Ken couldn’t keep, and they both knew it. “You are so cute when you’re drunk. You’re full of shit, but you’re cute.”

Chapter 5

T
HE
KIDS
on Ken’s caseload helped make the Seattle animal shelters a little cleaner and a little brighter for four hours on Saturdays. It wasn’t the cleanest, easiest, or most sanitary way for the kids to spend a Saturday afternoon, but they all usually enjoyed it. Forcing kids to work with animals had the added benefit of easing the resentment most of them showed up with. By the end of the afternoon, all of them were usually laughing and having fun, despite the hard work. Normally, Ken enjoyed it too. But this morning, when he’d been too hungover to get out of bed, he’d called and begged Mary Anne to get the kids started for him.

He wasn’t sure how much of the night before had been real and how much had been his alcohol-induced fantasy. When he’d woken up alone in his own bed, he’d desperately tried to convince himself he hadn’t gone out, that he hadn’t seen the object of his frustrations on the dance floor, that he hadn’t let the man suck him off and fuck him in the backroom of Corbin’s Attic. But when he’d gone out to his driveway and seen his car really wasn’t there, the reality of the night had come crashing back.

Despite the mild panic attack that had kept trying to creep up on him, he’d had a lucky morning. He’d made it down to Capitol Hill, discovered he’d somehow escaped a parking ticket, and managed to get to the animal shelter by ten o’clock. He’d done it all without throwing up his breakfast of aspirin and coffee too, so his hangover was starting to fade.

He found his boss in the animal shelter parking lot, watching a dozen teenagers like a mother hen.

“Will you take over Jay Connelly’s case?” he asked, not even wasting time with a greeting.

“It wasn’t enough that I filled in for you this morning?”

“I’m so sorry about that. I’ll take one of your on-call nights to make up for it, if you’d like.”

Mary Anne was only on call on Thursday nights. She chose Thursdays because they were usually quiet, so she almost always got a full night’s sleep. But assigning herself Thursday nights had one big disadvantage she had always complained about.

“I’ll take the Thanksgiving and Christmas shifts off your hands,” Ken promised. “The worst that’ll happen is the pager will rescue me from having to spend the night listening to my brothers coach me on the police entrance exam and interviews.”

Mary Anne made a sour face. “I do wish they would stop doing that. I know it’s what you always wanted, but if they could see how good you are with these kids, they’d stop bothering.”

“I like my job. They mean well,” Ken countered, “they just can’t see how I can find this rewarding.”

Mary Anne watched several girls in orange vests walk past on the one-block circuit around the park they’d assigned for the kids walking dogs. Ken tried to spot the other kids in the park across the street. He had to shield his eyes, even with his sunglasses on.

“So why are you giving up on Jay Connelly?”

“It’s personal,” Ken muttered.

“Personal? That’s surprising. Do you know why that’s surprising?”

“Because I haven’t done more than set up the terms of his supervision yet?”

“Because Jay likes you,” she said simply. “He was in a good mood when he got here. And the parent asked after you too. I didn’t get the impression either of them was uncomfortable with you. So if it’s personal, then the issue is with you.”

“Yes,” he admitted. “It’s got nothing to do with the kid. I just can’t work with him.”

“Atkins, I’m already six kids over my limit. I can probably squeeze him in once one of my girls turns eighteen, but unless there’s a real problem, I’m not shifting cases around without an explanation.”

“His dad’s hot,” Ken hissed.

Both of Mary Anne’s eyebrows popped up. “So what?”

“Like,
really
hot. You know how people say someone’s so beautiful they’re breathtaking? Well, he really is.”

“Is the parent being attractive an issue?” she giggled. “He has a son, Atkins. That’s a pretty solid hint that he’s straight.”

Ken shook his head frantically. “Not straight.”

“And you know this
how
?”

“He told me he was gay when I asked about Jay’s mom. He wasn’t eager to talk about it, but I got the impression it was why the marriage ended.”

“Oh, Atkins.” For the briefest moment she looked sympathetic. “You’re going to have to do what every other officer of the court who finds themselves attracted to someone inappropriate does. Exercise some self-control.”

“But I….”

“But nothing. Step back and remember all the reasons this is a bad idea. Remember Troy?”

Ken remembered their former coworker well. He’d been a good friend, and he’d been a great probation counselor. He’d also been a married father of two when he began an affair with the mother of a child on his caseload. When gossip about the affair came out, it ruined both marriages, but not before the woman made one last desperate bid to save her own skin by accusing Troy of threatening to send her child to jail if she didn’t sleep with him. Ken firmly believed the relationship had been consensual, but because of the conflict of interest and the power imbalance inherent in the relationship, Troy had been charged with sexual assault and dereliction of duty. He’d served ten months in jail, his wife had divorced him, and he would never be able to work in any kind of social services or law enforcement job again.

“I remember,” Ken said. “But what about Caroline? She had an affair with the divorced father of one of her kids, and that didn’t end badly. They’re still married, and they’ve got a couple kids of their own.”

“And I sent flowers when the last one was born, but I couldn’t bend our policy and procedures far enough to let her keep her job. If she’d just come clean about it at the start, we could have transferred the man’s daughter to….” Mary Anne’s sentence ground to a halt. “Is that what this is about? You want to pursue a relationship with him?”

Ken fidgeted with his light jacket, hoping she couldn’t see right through him. “Yes. If I were to get the chance, I would pursue him. I know it’s not worth risking my job over—believe me, I know—but if Jay’s not my client, well, maybe….”