The Way to Game the Walk of Shame (24 page)

I couldn’t have found someone better if I spent the next hundred years trying.
He was a great guy.
Is
a great guy.
We made sense.

So why did I feel like running for the nearest exit?

My head spun with all my questions until I was dizzy.

His hand tightened on my arm as though he were trying to bring me back to reality. “It’s all right if you don’t feel the same way. We could just forget this ever happened. Like I didn’t open my big mouth.”

The resigned expression on his face ate away at me. Especially since I was the reason. “No, it’s not that. It’s just … so sudden. I don’t really know how I—I never really thought about it.” That was a lie. I’d thought about us being together before. But that was all before Evan.

Brian’s eyes softened with hope, and his hand drifted up to cup the back of my neck. “Why don’t you think about it, then?” And just like that, without another word, he came closer and closer. He paused for a few seconds right before the kiss, in case I wanted to pull away.

I didn’t.

It shouldn’t have surprised me that Brian’s kiss would be perfect, like him. It was sweet. Gentle and soft. Like the kiss that the prince would give the princess at the end of the story, right before they rode off into the sunset toward their happily ever after.

Being with Brian was so effortless. He knew who I was and loved me. We had the same goals. The same views on life and our future. Hopefully we’d both be in New York next year. Maybe this was how things were supposed to be. Maybe things were starting to fall into place again. Like he said, things fit for a reason.

His other hand slid up my shoulder and accidentally tugged at my necklace beneath my shirt. Evan’s necklace. Evan’s face flashed in my head, and I jerked away from Brian like he had electrocuted me.

My hand flew to my mouth. “I—I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but Evan—”

A flicker of realization flashed across Brian’s face. “Do you love him?”

“No, of course I don’t.” I shook my head. “I mean, I don’t … know.”

His face displayed all the hurt and confusion that was in his voice, making it crack. “He’ll hurt you in the end. You know that. We all know what he’s like. He’s a player who’s never serious about anyone. He’s only out to get as many girls as he can.”

A flicker of anger hit me, searing through my confused thoughts. “You’re wrong. You don’t know him at all.”

“Taylor…” His hand stretched out to grab hold of me, but I darted out of reach. “I’m sorry. That was stupid. I don’t know why I—”

I held up my hand, and he immediately froze. “No. Just stop talking.” I grabbed my bag from the floor and turned away from him. I stopped at the door, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn around and look at him. “I’m sorry.”

22

-Evan-

Aaron came over just as I was in the middle of pounding my head against my locker. “So I heard about your little fight.”

Smack.
“Why am I so stupid?”
Smack.
“I screwed everything up.”
Smack.
“It’s over. She’s never going to forgive me.”

His hand shot out and blocked my head before I could make a dent in the lockers. “Dude, chill out. Just go apologize. Everything will be fine.”

I sighed. “You don’t understand. I really screwed up. Big time.” The hurt and shocked look on Taylor’s face swam in my head, tormenting me. Why did I have to say all those things to her? Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut?

“Oh, I know. To be honest, I’ve been waiting for you to screw things up with Taylor for ages now.”

“What?”

He leaned back against the lockers with crossed arms and rolled his eyes. “Look, you may be an expert when it comes to hooking up with girls, but you suck at actually having a real girlfriend and keeping one. I mean, you may be Zeus, but when was the last time that dude had a real relationship?”

Aaron didn’t know that Taylor and my relationship wasn’t a real one, either. But sometimes it felt real. There was no denying that she meant more to me than any of those other girls. And Aaron had a point. He was better at this stuff than I was. He’d had a couple of girlfriends here and there. I may have dated tons of girls, but Lauren was the closest I’d ever been to a real relationship before Taylor. Two incomplete, warped relationships.

And his words gave me hope. “So what do I do to fix it?”

He leaned in real close, like he was about to give me the secrets of the universe. “It’s going to sound really stupid and crazy, but just talk to her. One fight could break up a fling, but not a real relationship. You just have to work it out.”

I gave him a skeptical look. “Seriously? Your big advice is just to talk to her?”

“Well, it’s better than your stupid plan of banging your head through the locker. Besides, that’s what you have to do in a real relationship. You talk about your feelings. It’s annoying and frustrating. You may have to try a couple of times if she doesn’t feel like talking yet, or you might even talk for hours. And you’ll probably want to grab a drink afterward, but that’s the point. You have to try. Because if you don’t bother trying, then what’s the point in being in a relationship?”

He made sense. I never bothered trying with the other girls. Never wanted to go through the effort. What was the point when there were other girls to date? But there wasn’t another Taylor. “But just talking seems a little too
easy
.”

“Trust me, sometimes the easiest way is the best way.” Aaron stroked his chin with one hand and patted me on my head with the other. “Listen to me, you shall, Obi-Wan. All right, things will be. Wax on, wax off.”

I laughed and shook off his hand before giving him a short jab in the shoulder. “You’re mixing up your masters.”

“No, I’m not. I’m combining them because I’m just
that
awesome.” He grinned and shoved me off. “Now go find her.”

It took a while to find Taylor. She didn’t pick up my call, and Carly told me that Taylor’s parents hadn’t picked her up yet. But she didn’t know where she was, either. For the next half hour, I searched the entire school. I even poked my head into the girls’ locker room to check. Nobody was there except Coach Jill checking some of the lockers. I bolted before she caught sight of me.

Where could Taylor be?

Somehow I found myself standing beneath the tree where we had our Valentine’s Day picnic, remembering how excited I was to bring Taylor here. Her ecstatic face when she saw my surprise. Things were so much easier then.

And it was the exact place to find Taylor. I had almost missed her at first. She was half hidden behind the oak tree, facing toward the football field. She must have heard me coming, but she didn’t move. Not even when I came up behind her.

“So you decided to stand me up to watch the jocks practice?” I leaned against the tree. My shadow fell over her small, curled-up form. “A little heads-up would have been nice.”

“Sorry.” Her face was squished in her arms.

I squatted down next to her, but she turned her head and just snuggled deeper in her sleeve. I let out a deep breath and remembered Aaron’s words.
Just talk.
“Are you still mad about the Lauren thing? I wasn’t going to meet her. I swear.”

“I know you weren’t.”

“Then what’s the matter?” When she didn’t answer, I poked at her shoulder until she finally looked up at me.

There was a small smile on her face like she was trying to look happy and normal. But I could tell that something was wrong. Her eyes were red and a bit swollen. And even now, her lashes were slightly damp with tears.

I sucked in a deep breath and my fists clenched together. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Did someone say anything or—”

Taylor grabbed my arm before I could jump up and beat up everyone in sight. “No, it’s just … it’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothing.” I wiped away a remaining tear clinging to her cheek. “So, do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

There goes Aaron and his stupid plan.
Try. Just keep trying.
I sank down next to her, but she avoided my gaze. Her fingers just plucked at the blades of grass next to us and placed them in a neat pile, crisscrossed in a pattern.

“Can I ask you something?”

She let out a sigh. “I thought you understood that I didn’t want to talk?”

“Just one question, I swear.” I coughed into my fist a few times. “You’re not crying because of me, right?

Her hand knocked against the grass pile, knocking it over. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m not crying. My allergies are just going crazy right now.”

“Okay, allergies.” I didn’t believe her lie for a second, but if she didn’t want to tell me, then I wasn’t going to push her. And if she was going to blame it on her allergies, then I was going to let her. I climbed to my feet and nudged her elbow with the tip of my toe. “I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t really want to go home right now.”

“But what about your dad?”

Taylor gnawed on her lower lip and looked down. “They’re not expecting me home anytime soon. I’m supposed to be helping Brian with some newspaper stuff. But he—he doesn’t need me today.”

There was something weird about her voice. But I was just glad that we could spend more time together. I reached out and took her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. “I know the perfect place to go where your allergies won’t bother you anymore.”

*   *   *

“So where’s this mysterious place you’re taking me?” Taylor asked after we got our hot dogs. She trailed a few steps behind me as we crossed the street, still licking the chili off her fingers.

“God, are you
still
hungry? I should have let you eat mine, too.”

“Like I would have had a chance to. You inhaled yours before I even put on the mustard. Did you even chew it?”

“Nah, I have a pretty big mouth.” I walked backward so I could watch her, hands shoved in my pockets.

“I noticed.”

“Are you done? Can I hold your hand now?”

She pulled a small bottle of antibacterial gel out of her purse and squirted a glop on her hands. “Why? No one’s here.”

I waited until she finished before grabbing her. “Call it a habit. Besides, I don’t want you to get lost.”

“Well, I wouldn’t get lost if you would only tell me where we’re—oh!” Taylor skidded to a stop by my side. “We’re going to the aquarium?”

A feeling of contentment filled me as I looked up at the large white-and-blue building. This place was like home to me. When I was little, I wanted to move into the janitor’s utility closet. Even tried to pay him rent. “Yep. Come on.”

We walked through the various rooms, and she cooed over the otters—especially Rachel, Shayda, Elana, and Lily, the four show-offs in front—and skidded away from the eels. She leaned in so close over the petting tank to touch the stingrays that I had to hold onto the back of her shirt to make sure she didn’t fall in.

I’d always loved being there, but it was a different experience with Taylor. She hadn’t been here in years, so she had the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old.

Finally we reached my favorite room of all. The Seas Room. It was a large room with benches on descending stairs like at a theater, and the stage was the largest exhibit in the aquarium. The entire wall was a glass tank that measured twenty-five-feet deep and held 600,000 gallons of water. And it was filled with various colorful schools of fish, sharks, sea turtles, and stingrays just swimming back and forth.

Since it was nearly dinnertime, the room was empty, except for one couple and their little kid walking back and forth. They were more entertained by their kid than by the amazing ocean life in front of them. The little girl was pretty cute, though. Her red hair bounced on her shoulders as she danced in circles to her mom’s singing.

Taylor’s eyes widened, and she stepped right up to the tank. Her hands reached out to touch the glass. “It’s beautiful here. And those turtles are huge!”

“There used to be an even bigger one. Nearly twice as big as these babies, but poor Rudy died two years ago.”

She turned to me with a little smirk. “Rudy, huh? I guess I know who your car’s named after now.”

“Yeah, well…” I didn’t continue. She was right, but I couldn’t help feeling a little stupid. I mean, who names their car after a dead sea turtle? Instead, I turned and headed for the center seats, plopping down on the bench. My feet kicked my book bag beneath the seat. “My dad brought me here for the first time on my eleventh birthday. I loved it so much that he bought us a frequent pass, and we’d come back here every few weeks after that. You know, when he wasn’t in jail.”

“You know, you say that so casually,” Taylor said, sitting next to me. “It doesn’t bother you that he goes—that he’s in there a lot?”

“No. Not as much as it should.” I stretched out my legs on the seat in front of me. “It annoys me whenever Brandon mentions it, but that’s because he’s always trying to prove that he’s superior to us.”

“But he’s not.”

“Hell, no.”

She gazed at me for a long moment before changing the subject. “It’s strange how they could be so peaceful together in there. They’re all swimming with the sharks.” Her hands waved around to emphasize her point. “If I were the sea turtles, I’d be scared out of my mind in there.”

“Well, they get fed regularly, so there’s no danger of the sharks eating them.” I leaned an arm around her shoulders. “Hey, if we could get along, then why can’t they?”

“That’s true. Here I am, alone with you, and I’m not scared at all.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. You’re more like the shark than any other animal in that tank,” I teased.

Taylor laughed. “Whatever. You’re more dangerous than anyone I know.”

“Oh yeah? And what are you in danger of?”

She stared at me for a moment before raising an eyebrow and turning back to the tank. “Nah, you’re right. I am the shark.”

“Told ya.”

I watched for any indication that she was bored so we could leave, but she didn’t seem to mind being here. In fact, she slipped off her shoes, sat cross-legged, and leaned back on her hands, looking like she didn’t mind staying here forever. I know I didn’t.