The Wedding Gift (28 page)

WHEN I ENTERED HIS OFFICE, MY HUSBAND WAS sitting at his desk drinking whiskey. He walked toward me. He was pale. I took a deep breath and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I prayed that he would not strike me.

“Please, I beg of you, Cornelius, send someone for the doctor.”

“No. Have you not heard me? She has destroyed us. How will we ever show our faces anywhere? How will we ever dare leave these grounds?”

“But she’s going to die. She has a high fever and she is in pain and….”

“I…do…not…care. I do not care how much pain she is suffering. Her pain certainly does not compare to how she has ruined me, ruined my family’s name. We have worked so hard to build our wealth, to build it from nothing, and now, because of her, we will be outcasts. And how do you think this will affect my sons and grandsons? This scandal has reached Mobile, Georgia, and beyond. It was your duty to mind your daughter. That was all that was expected of you, to raise your children. But you chose to bury your head in your books, in your flowers, in your music. Did you think that all you had to do was to be beautiful? Did you for one second think to keep an eye on your daughter?”

“But….”

“Do not interrupt me. You know better than to interrupt a man when he is speaking. There is no ‘but.’ There is nothing you can say to explain your failure to prevent your daughter from being a whore.”

“We don’t know that it was voluntary….”

“What? Who would believe that, other than you? She intentionally misled us by making us arrange her marriage with Cromwell.”

“Can you not show your own child a bit of mercy?”

“Mercy? Mercy? Who is showing me mercy? She turned me into a laughingstock. I hoped that, with her marriage, I would be able to expand my trade. Now, who will want to conduct business with me? Who will advance me capital? And worse, for generations to come, my family name will be associated with the name of your daughter, who is lower than a harlot.”

“Please….”

He stepped directly in front of me and clenched his fist. He smelled of alcohol.

“If you interrupt me one more time, I swear…I swear to you that I will beat you until you are silent. Stop crying. It is too late. I said, stop crying. The damage has been done. If your selfish daughter dies as a result of her debauchery, so be it. I hope she rots in hell. Stop crying. Your crying makes me want to throttle you. Look at me. I said, look at me.”

He took my face in his hands and squeezed. My tongue hurt as it pressed against my teeth. He forced me to look up. His eyes were red. I could see hair growing out of his nose.

“If your daughter dies, there will be no living reminder of her abomination.”

He released his grip and stepped back. I left the room and returned to Clarissa. She was still and her breathing was so shallow that at first I thought she had passed on.

“Emmeline, is there anyone in the fields who can help us with Clarissa?”

“Maybe Miss Mary, ma’am.”

“I will send for her straightaway.”

“Ma’am, maybe you should send Johnny. He will get to her cabin quick. And he should tell her to bring laudanum and all her remedies.”

When Mary the midwife arrived, Clarissa was worse. Mary asked Emmeline what she had given Clarissa and suggested we try echinacea for the fever.

“I got it in a tincture, it work faster that way,” she said.

We spent the rest of that day and night caring for Clarissa, giving her cool baths and wiping her brow. I tried to keep my eyes open as I sat next to the bed on a footstool, but I found myself waking up with my head on Clarissa’s bed.

Sometime in the morning, before dawn, I held my girl as she died. They had to loosen my hold on her. Someone tried to lead me out of the room, but I refused to go and sat on a chair staring into the space between me and Clarissa’s body. I fell into a deep sleep, and when I awoke, they had covered her with a bed sheet. I lifted it and her eyes were closed. I kissed her cheeks.

“Bessie, tell Mr. Allen’s body servant to come here, and then tell someone to summon an overseer, perhaps Davis. He is closest.”

I met Eddie in the hallway.

“When Mr. Allen rises, tell him that Mrs. Cromwell passed on.”

“I’m so sorry, ma’am. Miss Clarissa was a lovely child.”

“Thank you, Eddie. Also tell your master that I will bury her tomorrow morning, at eleven o’clock.”

I waited for the overseer in the parlor. He already knew about her passing on.

“Send someone for the Reverend Crawford this morning. I will write notes soon, to be delivered to some of the neighbors. Tell the carpenters to make a coffin and a cross today, and tell someone to dig a grave near her great-grandparents. I want hers to be under the big magnolia tree. You know the one? We will have a proper headstone made later. Oh, and I want all the Hall servants to be present at the burial.”

“Ma’am, are you going to have a wake here in the parlor?”

“No, we’ll leave her in her bedroom until tomorrow morning. Then they will put her in the coffin.”

I wrote my sons and my husband’s family in Montgomery, Macon County, and Mobile. I told Emmeline the arrangements and asked her to prepare a repast for the guests.

“Yes, ma’am. And, ma’am, do you want me to help Bessie prepare the body?”

“Oh, sweet God. I did not think of that. Thank you, Emmeline. Yes, please.”

“What dress do you want her to wear? If you pick one, I can let it out at the seams because nothing she has from before may fit her.”

“That is true, Emmeline. Thank you. I will go upstairs and choose everything that she should wear.”

Sarah was in Clarissa’s wardrobe and had already selected clothing for my approval.

“Sarah, were you crying?”

“Yes, ma’am. I was thinking it was Miss Clarissa’s idea that I sit with her during her lessons. I will always be grateful to her for that. Ma’am, I just remembered that Miss Clarissa told me to tell you that she named the baby after you: Theodore.”

“Thank you, Sarah. Thank you for telling me.”

I went to my husband’s apartment the day of the funeral, around ten in the morning. He was asleep in a chair in his bedroom, an almost empty bottle of whiskey on a table next to him. I woke him.

“What? What do you want?”

“Are you coming to Clarissa’s burial?”

“Why would I do that? I hope you have not made grand arrangements.”

“I invited a few of the neighbors.”

“Have you no shame? Do you actually think that they will appear?”

“They do not know what happened.”

He suddenly was alert.

“I had not thought of it that way. If they ask you what happened, say the child died at birth.”

“No, I will not say that.”

“Yes, you will, or I will bar your guests from entering my property and I will order your daughter interred without a preacher immediately.”

“You would not do such a thing. You would not have your daughter treated like an animal.”

“You know that I would, and why not? That is how she behaved. So which is it going to be?”

“Yes, I will say that the child died or anything that will guarantee her a Christian burial. Are you truly not going to be present when your daughter is buried?”

“Leave me alone. I am going to bed. Go bury that bitch by yourself.”

The neighbors I invited did attend, including Mr. and Mrs. Tutwiler and their children who still lived in the area. If Mrs. Tutwiler knew what had transpired, she was kind enough not to say anything. When the guests were gone, I retreated to my apartment to read and write. The following day, I confronted my husband about my grandson.

“I will not tell you where he is. Why do you need to know? Surely you do not want to try to find him. Don’t be an idiot. With him gone, that Cromwell moron has no evidence. If he had any sense, he would have kept Clarissa and the bastard.”

“You have come to hate Clarissa, but I hope you will spare your other daughter. You do not intend to send her back to Julius, do you?”

“What a turn of events. You were so angry when you first learned about Sarah.”

“She was good to my daughter, and that makes her a better person than you.”

He slapped me. I left the room. I did not care that my cheek was bruised. I sent for Davis and spoke with him in the parlor.

“Who took Mrs. Cromwell’s baby?”

“Ma’am, Mr. Allen told me not to tell you. I’m sorry.”

“Where did they take him? I am ordering you to tell me.”

“I can’t, ma’am. He said if I told you he would dismiss me.”

When Davis was gone, I told a servant to send for the other Hall overseer. When he arrived, his reply to my question was the same as Davis’s. I found Sarah cleaning my husband’s office. She was surprised to see me.

“Sarah, come with me to the library. I need to speak with you.”

“Ma’am, Mr. Allen is in there.”

“Really? He’s reading?”

“No, ma’am. He’s asleep.”

“We’ll speak here.” I closed the door. “Sarah, do you remember anything about the men who took the baby? Were they from here? Had you ever seen them?”

“Yes, ma’am. They were overseers from the fields. I’ve seen them there before.”

“Do you know their names?”

“No, ma’am.”

“What did they look like?”

“One was tall and fat and the other was tall but a regular size.”

“If you saw them, would you recognize them?”

“Yes, ma’am. I think so.”

“This afternoon, around two, I want you to accompany me to the fields and I want you to point them out to me.”

“Yes, ma’am, but I’ll be up front with the coachman, so how should I tell you?”

“Tell the coachman to stop and to tell the overseers to come to the carriage to speak to me.”

We had been in the carriage for about two hours when Sarah saw the men we were seeking. They were on horses. I asked their names and then posed the same questions as I had to the Hall overseers. They had the same replies.

I spent the next week in mourning. I read and wrote in my journal and took my meals in my apartment, avoiding my husband. Mrs. Tutwiler brought me letters from Kenneth and visited me twice. The following week, my son, Paul, and Eliza’s husband, Abraham, who had remarried, arrived with their families from Georgia. Robert and his family arrived from Charleston five days later. I had not anticipated that I would feel joy after Clarissa’s death, but I did. I played with my grandchildren and read to them in the lesson room. I joined the adults at meals and was relieved that my husband slept through dinners and was too inebriated to attend suppers. I spoke privately with my sons who, although they were still young men, had assumed their roles as fathers and bankers. They were content in Georgia and South Carolina and had no interest in living in Alabama or in being planters.

“Mother, spend time with us away from here. This place is untamed,” Robert said.

“I will. I will. Being with you and your families has made me see that, despite Clarissa’s passing, I can still be happy.”

“Mother, I apologize for asking you this, but is it true what Papa said about Clarissa?” Paul asked.

“Yes, it is.”

“It cannot be. Did you see the baby?” Paul said.

“No, I did not and, in fact, perhaps you can help me. I tried to find out where your father sent him. He would not tell me and ordered the overseers who took him not to say anything to me. Would you ask him? Perhaps he would tell you.”

“But, Mother, what if it’s true? Why would you want to know where the baby is? Mother, if it is true and everyone finds out about it, our family name will be ruined, and worse could happen. Not only would we be expelled from society, but the bankers with whom we work would shun us. Robert and I, despite being investors, could lose our positions in the banks.”

“You have already spoken with your father, I see. It seems as if I am the only one who cares about Clarissa’s son.”

“Mother, please, think about us too. Clarissa thought only about herself.”

“I am thinking about her son, my grandson, and, whether you like it or not, your nephew.”

“Mother, you really shouldn’t think of him that way,” Paul said.

“How else can I think of him?”

“Mother, what about us? Are you thinking of our families and your true grandchildren? What will happen to them if this becomes a scandal?”

“I only want to know where the child is and that he is well, that someone is caring for him. If I knew that, I would stop asking about him.”

“I think that is a reasonable request. Robert and I will speak to Papa,” Paul said.

My husband’s family from Montgomery arrived that evening.

“Theodora, how is Cornelius?” my mother-in-law asked.

“Mrs. Allen, he has not been well since Clarissa passed away. He stays in his apartment and his office.”

“Paul and Robert told me that Clarissa’s child was born early and passed away?”

“Yes, yes, that is what happened.”