The Weight of Shadows (12 page)

Kim laughed and continued to wrap her client’s hair in foils. “Not so much. But you can put us down for it anyway. I know where I can get some that’s really good”

“Great. Anything else you want to bring?”

“I’ll bring a couple two-liters, too. That alright?”

“Sure thing” Emma made the notes on the sign-up. “Alrighty then, tomorrow evening, six o’clock at the park. Bette said to look for the three oak trees when you get there. She’s going to stake out a place there early in the morning so we have a place to sit”

“Sounds fun. Thanks, Emma”

“You’re welcome. Is Rick coming?”

She grinned. “Yeah, though he gave me some eye rolling when I told him about it. I promised there would be other guys there—Mitch is coming, right?”

“Yes, but only because I promised to make cupcakes for dessert”

“Ooh, good one. That’ll make Rick happy too”

She was nervous about her friends meeting Rick, and vise versa, but was also a little relieved it was finally happening. Her salon friends were the only friends she had, and while she didn’t do much with them outside of work, they still meant a lot to her. They’d all ribbed her when she’d shown off her ring, saying she’d bought it herself since they’d never met the man. But given recent events, she’d been afraid to introduce them, afraid they wouldn’t measure up in his eyes.

On the way home that afternoon she picked up a couple quarts of potato salad and some Coke from her grocery store. On a whim she tossed in a frozen pizza for dinner and ice cream for dessert. It had been awhile since they’d had either one, and she didn’t feel like cooking. Rick was a fan of homemade meals, and while she didn’t mind cooking, it was not among her favorite things to do. She had a feeling that, if Rick could have his way, she’d have a hot dinner coming out of the oven half an hour after he got home every night, like some 1950s housewife. She figured it was an attempt to have something he was denied during his childhood—framed that way, she didn’t mind at all.

They ate their dessert over a game of Scrabble, which he won by a landslide. “Spelling never was one of my strengths,” she admitted. “But you’ve got to admit I didn’t do too bad given I had so many vowels”

“I’ll give you that, yes” He scraped the last of the triple fudge from his bowl. “Hey, it’s only eight o’clock—wanna go to a movie?”

She smiled as she stacked his empty bowl in hers and took them to the kitchen. They never went out in the evenings. “Sure! What should we see?”

“Trevor said ‘Dead to the World’ was good. I’ll check the times and see where it’s playing” He picked up the phone and began to dial.

Kim wrinkled her nose as her vision of laughing the evening away at a romantic comedy faded to black in her mind. “That’s the scary horror one, right?

“Yeah”

“I’m not really a horror movie kind of girl. I’ll have nightmares”

“You already have nightmares; maybe this’ll give them some variety”

“Rick!”

He began writing down times and places on a notepad by the phone. “Oh come on, Kim, don’t be a wuss. It’s a movie, it’s not real”

She didn’t bother replying, because she knew it wouldn’t change anything. That was another thing she’d learned.

They drove to the theater with the windows down and the radio blaring a hard rock band Rick liked. Kim cringed every time they pulled up to a stoplight and got dirty looks from other drivers. Rick never seemed to notice. They joined the mostly male crowd just before the previews started, sitting six rows from the front on the aisle—or at least, Rick was on the aisle. Kim was stuck beside a greasy teenaged boy with the stink of cigarette smoke wafting off him.

They leaned their heads back as far as they could to take in the entire screen when the previews started. Action flick explosions nearly blinded her at this distance, and every preview seemed to have at least two. She had a headache by the time the movie started. She closed her eyes and leaned against Rick’s shoulder, but he shrugged her off. She sighed and hunkered down in her seat, trying not to get too close to the teenager so Rick wouldn’t think she was trying to flirt with him.

Half an hour into the movie she was as disturbed as she was willing to get. “I’ll be back later,” she said as she hopped over his lap and into the aisle.

“Where are you going?” he hissed.

“Bathroom, and then…” She waved her hand vaguely. “I don’t know. I’ll be back later”

He waved her away and she ran to the door, the sound of a woman’s blood-curdling scream following her through the doors and raising goosebumps on her arms. After visiting the washroom, she walked down the hall, passing the doors to the theater where Rick was, and turning into the next one down instead, where a romantic comedy was playing.

She hadn’t watched a movie in ages, either at home or in the theater. She snuck to an empty aisle seat, feeling conspicuous sitting amidst the couples and groups of girlfriends that filled the seats around her. She sank down in the seat, eyes half shut from the headache, and watched the typical story unfold. She kept waiting for the heartwarming moment, the “awwww”-inspiring climax, the warm, fuzzy feeling a good romantic comedy always gave her, but when the heroine finally got her man, Kim just felt underwhelmed. When the lights went up, she felt as empty as she had when she came in.

Relationships are nothing like that.
She’d always known movies didn’t reflect real life, but she’d never seen a romance while actually in a relationship, and now she realized just how far off the mark Hollywood was. She shuffled out the door with the rest of the crowd, then back into the theater where Rick was. She was just in time to see a severed head come rolling down the stairs of the haunted house. She groaned as she walked back to her seat.

Rick glared at her when she sat back down, as did the teenager who had sprawled his long legs into the space in front of her seat. Rick didn’t speak to her until the movie had ended. “Where were you that whole time?”

“I told you I was going to go out for a while. I got a headache being this close, and the movie was freaking me out. I went next door to ‘Love and Marriage.’”

Rick snorted. “Was it as lame as its title?”

“No. But it wasn’t what I was hoping it would be”

“Those kinds of movies are such a waste of time. They’re never realistic. They just set women up for disappointment”

It was Kim’s turn to snort. “You’ve got that right”

Rick either didn’t catch her meaning or else didn’t care about her disillusionment. “That’s why I like movies like ‘Dead to the World.’ They’re completely over the top and don’t try in any way, shape, or form to be realistic”

She opened her mouth to reply, but gave up. She didn’t feel like arguing, and she knew there was no point. She let him lead her back to the car, feeling glum and moody and dissatisfied with the evening.

Oh well.
At least they had the picnic tomorrow.

Kim was up before Rick the next morning. She had never been able to sleep in on her days off, but Rick had no problem tacking on an extra couple hours when he didn’t have to work. She tried not to be jealous as she drank her coffee.

Three children decked out in patriotic colors skipped past the window, followed by their hand-holding parents. Kim recognized them as the family that lived down the hall. Their kids were always out playing on the greenbelt during the day. They looked friendly, and she sometimes imagined what it would be like to have a child and get together with women like her for playdates. Not that they planned on having kids anytime soon.

She watched the family as they tromped through the grass towards the sidewalk. The little one tripped and began to wail; the mother picked her up and kissed her hair as they followed the rest of the kids. Tears formed in Kim’s eyes, and she drew away from the window in surprise. It had been a long time since a display of motherly love had made her cry.

She drained the rest of her coffee and went to take her shower. Rick was awake when she got out, and she made him breakfast and joined him at the table while he ate. “So what’s the plan for the day?” she asked as he finished his waffles. “I figure if we left here by 5:45 we’d get to the picnic by six, though the parking there might be a little dicey, so maybe 5:30 is better in case we have to walk far”

He pushed his empty plate away and shook his head. “Yeah, I’ve changed my mind. I really don’t want to go tonight”

Kim frowned. “What? Why not?”

“I’m just not in the mood to meet a bunch of strangers. And I’m not that into fireworks”

“But I really want my friends to meet you—and for you to meet them. And it’s a potluck; they’re counting on me for some of the food”

“What, that potato salad I saw in there? They can live without it”

“Well, and the drinks”

“A couple bottles of pop aren’t going to be missed”

She sighed. “Well look, if you don’t want to go, that’s fine, but these are my friends and I want to hang out with them. I’ve been looking forward to this. I’ll just go alone”

“No, stay home with me. We can rent a movie or something, maybe go to dinner”

“Rick, I don’t want to stay home, I want to go out”

“No”

She stared at him. “No? Like I’m twelve and you’re my father?”

He took a moment to reply and she knew she was on dangerous ground. “No,” he finally said, “like I’m your fiancé and I am a higher priority than your friends”

He had her there. She fought tears as she grabbed the plate and carried it back to the kitchen to wash. “Fine. I’ll call Emma. Maybe she can come pick up the food at least”

He shrugged. “Whatever. We’ll go out tonight, get some dinner and bring in a movie”

“Sure, whatever you want” Her voice was flat.

“Aw, c’mon Kim, don’t be like that”

“Like what? Like I’m disappointed? Well I’m sorry, but I am. And I don’t think that’s unreasonable, seeing as I’ve had these plans for awhile now and you’re suddenly pulling them out from under me”

“Well I’m sorry if you were expecting me to just follow you around like some hungry puppy”

“I never expected that! What would make you even think that? All I’m saying is that I want to go out with my friends. If you don’t want to, then fine, don’t. But I’m not some slave to your fancy. If I want to go out, I’m going to go out”

It didn’t matter that she knew how this was going to end; she couldn’t help pushing a little and asserting herself. The tension in her belly coiled like a cobra, preparing for the onslaught that was sure to come.

She saw it in his face first. How his eyes narrowed, how his jaw seemed to jut a fraction further. “Don’t push me, Kim”

“I’m not pushing you, Rick. But I’m going tonight”

“No you’re not” The words were bullets dinging her flimsy armor. “You’re staying home”

They stared at each other over the kitchen counter. How far did she dare to go? She breathed hard through her nose, her chest heaving as though she’d sprinted a mile. “No”

He sprang from his chair, and it was instantly clear to her she’d made a mistake. She was trapped in the kitchen. She shrieked as he lunged and grabbed her, his fingers digging into her arms. He dragged her to the bedroom and threw her on the bed, then slammed the door behind him. “
No?
You told me
no?
” She scrambled across the bed and jumped to her feet on the other side, where she was trapped once more. He shoved the bed, roaring, and it slammed into her knees, pinning her against the wall. He clambered over the lumpy mattress and grabbed a handful of her hair, then yanked her face back to his when she tried to slide away against the wall. “You
never
tell me no.
Never
. I tell you to come to me, you do it. I tell you to lie down, you do it. I tell you you’re gonna cook me a seven-course meal, you do it, because you are as good as married to me, and when a husband speaks, his wife listens. Got it?”

“Okay, okay!” He gave her head a shove, then let go of her hair and crawled back over the bed, leaving her to struggle out from behind the bed and collapse on it, shaking.

It was all her fault, as usual, and she knew it. He’d even told her flat-out not to push him, and she had. What had made her defy him?

She mopped the tears from her cheeks with the bedspread and pushed herself upright. Her head throbbed, though her knees didn’t hurt like she thought they would. She pushed up her sleeves and saw blue bruises where his fingers had gripped her. The sight made her cuss. She’d been so close to wearing short sleeves.

“K
IM, WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT
?”

“I’m so sorry, Emma. I just wasn’t feeling well. I was going to call you but by the time I decided not to go, I figured you’d already left. Did you guys have enough pop?”

“Yeah, we were fine. Are you okay now? What was wrong?”

“A stomach bug, I think. I woke up feeling a little off, and it just got worse as the day went on. I slept alright last night, though, and I feel better this morning” She shrugged. “Just one of those weird things. I’m glad it’s gone now, though. I have Club tonight”

She went back to her station, surprised at how easily the lie had rolled off her tongue. She hadn’t given it much thought beforehand. She was getting good at it.

The other girls were glad to see her doing alright and added their sympathies to Emma’s. The day passed without incident, and after her two o’clock appointment she cleaned her station and went to Club.

She played pool with Kea and Tandi as they waited for everyone to arrive, then they claimed a corner in the learning center and sprawled on the floor.

Mercedes was the first to notice. “Kim! That ring! When did you get engaged?”

Kim groaned in her head and put on a smile while scrambling for a response as the girls grabbed at her hand and inspected the diamond. “Yesterday,” she lied. “Under the fireworks” The girls let loose with a collective “Awwww!” and assaulted her with questions.

“So when’s the wedding?”

“Next July. Probably on the Fourth”

More dramatic sighs.

“How did he do it? What did he say?”

“He waited until the first firework explosion, then took my hand and slipped it on my finger and whispered, ‘Marry me?’”