The White Cowboy - Complete BWWM Romance Box Set (9 page)

CHAPTER FIVE

Gemma watched as he looked at her in disbelief. As if he didn't understand that she was willing to help him with this project. Who had hurt him so badly that he wouldn't pursue his dream?

He looked at her with suspicion.

"What?"

He put his hands on his hips. "You are serious about helping me?"

How did he not see that she wanted to help him? "God, what did that wife do to you? Yes, I'm serious. I'm here. I can't really move. I might as well help you."

He took in a deep breath, then let it out noisily. "Okay."

Reaching out a hand, he smiled at her.

"We good?" she said.

She had to get rid of that elephant so they could start.

He nodded. "We're good."

"Now, sit."

She handed him the first paper. "I can't see what’s after artichoke hearts."

He sat in the rocking chair, still eyeing her. He finally looked down at the piece of paper. "It's pine nuts."

"Or pignoli nuts."

"Right. I can only get them in small amounts at the grocery story. I order them on the internet."

"Do they go bad?"

He rocked in the chair, his legs crossed at his ankles. He wore thick gray socks. "Not if you refrigerate them," he said.

He seemed to finally settle into the task. He shifted in his chair, maybe to get more comfortable.

"Now hand that back to me so I can write that down. I figured I'd sort out all of these things before I type them in. If you have a few minutes, I can get that part of the job done."

"Okay. I want to check on the cow in about a half an hour. And milk the goats."

"How is the cow doing?"

"Better. She ate some."

"Guess the vet was right."

"Thankfully. I really don't want to lose that cow or her calf. She's part of an experiment."

She shuffled papers as he spoke.

"Oh?"

He waved a hand. "I can explain another time."

"Okay. Let’s get back to this."

She rifled through the rest of the main dishes. Then she was onto the sides. He'd done a lot of work. Guess winters were lonely in Iowa. But then he chose to be by himself.

***

When he left to check on the cow and milk the goats, Gemma had an idea. She dialed her cousin, Maria. She wasn't a great cook, but she loved to try new things. Testing these recipes would be useful.

"Hey, Maria."

"What's up, Gemma? I hear you are on your way west."

Gemma looked at her surroundings, enjoying them for the moment. "I am, but right now I'm stuck in Iowa."

"Iowa? Do I want to know?"

"Snow storm, and I need to get the car repaired."

She left out the sprained ankle. If that got back to her father, he'd be driving out here to get her.

"And what does Daddy say?"

"He's happy I'm safe. How's that husband of yours? I'm sorry I didn't get to see you before I left."

"He's good. I have news."

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

Gemma squealed. "Wow, Maria. Congratulations. When are you due?"

"September."

"Are you going to find out what you're having?"

"Yes, we will. I want to know how to decorate the room."

"Practical."

"So what can I do for you?" Maria said.

"Do I only call you when I need something?"

"No, but I figured you're not calling me from Idaho? Iowa? Wherever just to chat."

"No, though I'm glad I did. I'm so happy for you."

Maria and her husband had been trying for a few years to get pregnant. They'd wanted kids as soon as they got married. Gemma felt a twinge in her gut. If she became a star, she wouldn't be there to see Maria's child grow up.

All at once, Gemma missed her family. What would it be like to settle down and have a kid? Could she balance that with a career?

She shook herself. She'd put her plan in action and she was not going to deviate. She was bound for Hollywood as soon as her car was fixed.

"Here's the reason I called you. I'm helping someone with a cookbook, and I need someone to test the recipes."

"And you thought of me."

"Well, you are the audience for this cookbook. A home cook who loves to try new things."

"Okay, I'm interested."

"I'm going to e-mail you some recipes. You mustn’t show them to anyone. Just take notes of directions that need to be added, or any general notes you have. It would help me a lot."

"No problem. I'll be looking for them."

"Thanks Maria. You're the best."

Gemma hung up, then realized that Brandon was standing by the front door.

***

Had he heard her right? Was Gemma sending his recipes to someone? After he told her not to? His teeth clenched. His breath caught in his throat.

"What the hell?"

She blinked at him, her expression one of disbelief. She couldn't understand why he was angry? Had he not made himself clear?

To add insult to injury, she waved her hand. As if she could wave away his anger.

"She's a cousin of mine, and she's the perfect person to test the recipes."

He clenched his hands, then let them loose. He didn't see red, but he was close. He yanked off his boots, then dropped them on the floor with a clunk. He advanced to where she sat. "I told you not to send them to anyone."

Finally her eyes widened, as if she finally understood that he was livid.

"Brandon, it's for the best."

He rubbed his temple. "So you think you know what's good for me? You've known me, what?  A day? Really?"

She leaned away from him. "Calm down."

"I won't calm down. You betrayed my trust." He snatched the papers off her lap and the ones still on the table.  What did she know about trust? She didn't know anything, and he'd misplaced his trust once again. "Don't touch these again."

She crossed her arms. "What are you afraid of? That the recipes are bad? Or maybe you're afraid that the recipes are good."

He returned to his full height. "What? Don't try to analyze me."

Her arms relaxed as if she no longer found him a threat. "You are afraid. You're afraid this might be successful. And you might have to leave your insulated little farm."

"Gemma, stop."

She pointed at him. "No, I'm not going to. You need this."

Brandon had to snort. "I need this?"

"You were successful as a rodeo star, right?"

He had no idea where she was going with that so he answered her question. "Reasonably."

Very good was what he'd been. He had gotten top billing the last two years he'd been on the circuit. She didn't need to know any of that. If she was so curious, she could Google him.

"You think you'll attract another woman like your ex-wife if you're successful at something else."

In usual Gemma style, she cut through all of his bullshit. He wasn't sure he'd ever thought about things that way, but her words rung true. He wanted to scream at her. She didn't deserve it. This wasn't her fault.

Instead he dropped the papers on the coffee table and left with her words ringing in his ears.

***

When the front door opened again, it was Clint who walked in. Gemma was kind of glad to see him. She wasn't yet recovered from Brandon's anger. She'd struck a nerve with him, and she was sort of sorry.

But not completely. Someone had to push that man out of his comfort zone.

"Hey, Gemma. Sorry to disturb, but I wanted to get a glass of water."

"Don't let me stop you," she said, smiling at him.

He returned with a drink and sat on the rocking chair Brandon had pulled up. "I like Brandon. He's like a son to me."

Where was Clint going with this conversation? Had Brandon sent him in here? No, she decided he wouldn’t have done that. "Okay."

"And he seems mighty upset right now."

No, Clint was here on his own. As a concerned bystander. "That's because I don't sugarcoat things. I tell them how I see them, and I don't think he liked what I had to say."

Clint nodded as if he was agreeing with her. "Probably not. Jessica, his ex-wife, pretty much fawned over him. Until the end, she told him what he wanted to hear."

Well, that explains a lot. No wonder he didn’t trust her. "That's not good. So he doesn't trust what people say?"

"Not what a woman says. On the circuit, he had groupies and they'd tell him what he wanted to hear. Not that he didn't know that they had ulterior motives. He knew. Sometimes when you're surrounded by it all, one can almost believe what people say."

"So he doesn't really trust women at all?"

"No, he doesn't. But I think you gave him some things to think about."

"Do you want to know what I said?" she asked.

"None of my business."

"But you want me to leave him alone."

Clint laughed, shaking his head. "No. I want you to keep at him. He needs to get out of his cocoon that he's built. He used the animals as an excuse not to do anything else."

She smiled at him, liking Clint even more right now. "I will keep at him. I think the project I'm helping him with is worth it."

"Good."

CHAPTER SIX

Brandon checked on the cow again. Checked water for all the animals. Then he left Houdini in with Beans, hoping that maybe Gemma was right.

Maybe Gemma was right about a lot of things. He was still mad at her betrayal, but then again he was probably mad because she'd nailed his situation.

He used the farm to hide. To keep his heart safe.

Was there anything wrong with that?

He patted the pony on the side. Beans looked down at his stall mate and rubbed him with his nose. "Guess you don't mind company. I think this little guy is lonely."

Brandon knew how he felt, but for him it had been a conscious choice. When Jessica left, it had seemed easier to just be by himself. With Gemma here, he was rethinking that. He might actually like someone to share things with.

His dreams. His hopes. His bed.

With the animals all snug for the night, Brandon watched the sun set in the winter sky. Clouds had formed, but none were bringing a storm.

The chilly wind almost took his hat off. He liked winter. Everyone seemed lonely in winter, and that made him feel less alone. His heart ached for a companion, as it never had before.

Gemma wasn't it, but he had to thank her for awakening something in him. Something he'd thought dead and gone. He might actually need another human being.

But how would he ever find that person?

There were dating sites for farmers, but other than to make his life on the farm easier, he wasn't much of a computer person. He couldn't see himself sitting in front of the computer chatting with someone all evening.

Then again, it probably beat talking to his dog.

His dog, he chuckled, who was currently sitting at Gemma's feet instead of out here with him.

Spike liked Gemma a lot, and would probably miss her when she was gone. Maybe Brandon would as well.

"You okay?" Clint asked.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not sure what to say. This lady has me in knots."

Clint chuckled. He came to stand next to Brandon in the middle of the driveway. "I know. It's great."

Brandon glanced at the man who had been a friend and a father figure ever since Jessica left. Where would he be without this man? He knew so little about him. Had that been laziness or respect for Clint's privacy? Brandon suspected a little of both. "Why?"

"Because it is good to know you still have a heart, you still have feelings."

Brandon shrugged. "I think I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that."

"Have I ever told you how I met my wife?"

Brandon didn't even know Clint’s wife's name. "No."

"I was just out of the military. I swore that I wouldn't get married ever because my high school sweetheart had cheated on me while I was away."

"Sad."

"Ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn’t have been open to meeting Sara if I'd been dating the other woman."

Brandon noted that the other woman didn't even get her name mentioned in this story. "How is that?"

"Well, I wasn't even open to meeting Sara, not really. I was bitter and closed off. Sara volunteered at a Veteran's hospital, and we met when I was there getting a checkup. She sat with me through a difficult test I had to go through. The results ended up positive all around."

"Oh?

"I married Sara a year later. We haven't been apart but a few days since then. She was patient and kind, and she healed the hurt from my first girlfriend."

"But what about her made you decided to open up?"

"She stuck with me. She was patient."

"Well, that isn't happening this time. She's gone when her car is fixed."

Clint shrugged. "Nothing is set in stone. I'm going to look in on the animals one more time, then go check on Sara. I'll be back later.”

Brandon watched Clint go to the barn, wondering if he could ever open up to anyone again. Jessica had taken a sledgehammer to his heart. He shook his head. No, Gemma was a dalliance, no more.

The position of the sun told him it was time for dinner. His stomach agreed.

With one last look at the last bit of sun, he walked to the house.

Gemma was still surrounded by papers, but she didn't look up when he entered the house. Her fingers flew over the keyboard.

"I'm starving from looking at these."

He laughed. "I get the hint. I'll make dinner."

"I'd be forever grateful. Can I pick the recipe?"

She wanted something specific? Why wasn't he surprised? She had been vocal in bed about what she wanted. Why wouldn't she be in the rest of her life?

"If I have the ingredients."

"This chicken in cream sauce."

She handed him the sheet. He shook his head. She could have picked any recipe. Why did she pick that one?

"I can't make that."

He strode into the kitchen. He didn't want to discuss it.

***

Gemma watched his retreating figure, her mouth trying to form words, but unable to. What had she done? What had she said? It was a recipe, for cripes' sake. She wasn’t going to let this go.

Not in her nature.

He seemed insulted by her asking. Not when she'd first asked, but when she'd picked that recipe. This would stick in her craw until she dealt with it.

The laptop went onto the table and she stood, tucked her crutches underneath her to go find him. He was in the kitchen, banging pots and pans.

"What's your problem?"

She hobbled over to a stool and sat on it. She put her foot on the stool next to it. Her foot had started throbbing again, and she probably needed more pain medication.

But she had to nip this in the bud. Whatever it was.

"Nothing."

She pointed a finger at him. "Do not tell me nothing. What is so significant about that recipe?"

He frowned, stopped banging pots. "I just can't make it."

She shook her head. "No, there's more attached to that recipe than you're telling me. I'm going to bug you until you do."

He rubbed a hand down his face. "Fine. I made that for my wife on our second date."

"Then why is it in here?"

He put out his hands as if feeling helpless. "It's a great recipe."

She glanced at the ceiling then back to him. "I know. That's why I picked it. But for you to include it, you're going to have to get past the emotionality of it."

He stared at her. His jaw was set. "I'm not making it."

She sighed. "Fine, but you can't get mad at me."

He frowned. "I know. I'm sorry. You're right."

"At some point, you're going to want someone else to cook some of these recipes to see if someone else can duplicate what you've done."

"Someone else?"

"Clearly I can't really cook them."

He seemed to mull that over. "I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I'm still not sold on publishing this."

"Not sold on publishing it? This will be so good," she said. Did he not see how talented he was? "It would be ridiculous not to."

***

Why didn't Gemma see obstacles? She'd returned to her task while he made dinner. His breathing had returned to normal, but his heart still ached with the memory of that date.

He'd already bought this house, so he brought Jessica here when he had a week off. She didn't seem impressed, but wasn't overly critical.

Her lack of enthusiasm with the place probably should have told him something. He should have known she'd wanted a rodeo star, not just a run of the mill cowboy.

He'd told her about his plans for when he retired. She would nod and smile and change the subject to what he was going to do at the next rodeo. He'd been so stupid.

He'd made her dinner, then explained about his other dream.

"You're kidding," she said. She sat in the very stool that Gemma had just occupied. Her disdain evident in her face. "Why? You have a career."

"Jess, I can't do this forever. Frankly, I've been pretty lucky with how few injuries I've sustained."

She waved that away. "You're young and healthy. You have ten more years, then maybe you can retire."

His words had almost been prophetic. It was a year to the day of that dinner that he'd been injured badly enough to have to quit. Jessica had married him in the meantime, but wasn't thrilled with living on the ranch.

She nursed him back to health, but when he'd chosen to retire, she'd chosen to leave.

That's when he'd closed his heart.

For good, he thought, but one woman had niggled her way in there. She was strong like Jessica, but that was where the resemblance ended.

But what would he do once Gemma was gone?

***

Gemma had an idea. If he wasn't going to let her find someone to cook his recipes, she would. She knew she wasn't a good cook, but maybe she could try.

He'd get past this block somehow, even if she had to shove him past it.

Even on crutches, she was willing to try. So she tromped into the kitchen and caught him before he started anything.

"Wait."

He glanced up at her for a moment. "I'm not cooking that recipe."

Whatever. "Fine. Pick another one, and I'll cook it. You can be here to guide me."

He looked her up and down. "You're supposed to rest."

Her foot throbbed a little, but she ignored it. She wasn't backing down. In order for this cookbook to be successful, she had to try some of the recipes. "I've rested for hours. Let me cook and try out a recipe."

His forehead creased. "You sure?"

She hadn't been so sure of anything in her life. If she could get this man past some of his obstacles before she left, she could look back fondly on this time. "Yes."

He seemed to be debating about what she'd said. "Okay, then. You really think this will help?"

"Yes, all great chefs have other test their recipes."

"I'm no chef."

She moved her shoulders. "Cook then, but you're writing a cookbook."

"I'm writing a cowboy cookbook. Because I'm a cowboy."

She laughed. Semantics. "Either way. The recipes need to be tested."

"Fine. What do you want me to do?"

"Pick a recipe, take out the materials I'll need, and then sit down."