The Wicked Game (A Wicked Game Novel) (19 page)

And so it came to be that on the very night Andrew Wilson-Dillard became the 5th Earth of Dillard, the 6th Earl of Dillard was given life.

In the middle of the night, Andrew awoke with a start. His dreams had been filled with images of Angela. He had dreamed that she loved him. He had dreamed that she wanted him above all else. But that wasn’t what was important; he wanted her to love him. The night of the ball he had almost been convinced that she did. No matter what she had said, her actions that night had been enough to convince him otherwise. He had fallen asleep peaceful and content.

In the end when he had awoken, strong and sober, Andrew had a completely different version on life. As happy as he had been before, Andrew realized that the elation of that night had been based solely upon the drink they had consumed the night before. How stupid he had been! Andrew was a man of the world. He had grown up to know and recognize the subtle things in life that other people did not even know of.

Still he had been tricked. He had let his emotions while drunk be overcome by her emotions while drunk. And though he had been content at the time he now knew that it had meant nothing more to her than that moment. As she had said, yes she did want him, but that was not the same thing as needing him. That was not the same thing as loving him.

It was not the same feeling he felt for her.

With an ache in his heart Andrew arose from his bed. He gave one last loving look at his wife before he turned towards the door and away from her forever.

He could feel his heart harden and lock up.

***

Angela Bennett Wilson-Dillard swore that she knew the moment she had conceived her child. The intimacies with Andrew on the night of the ball had started out just as any other, but the end had left her with much a different feeling. As most times, both of them had found their end at nearly the same, but this time Angela had felt a different feeling flowing in her body. To start with, she felt a feeling of satisfaction that she had never experienced before. Beyond the pleasure of her own end, Angela had felt contentment inside of her, as if this time the lovemaking had actually had a real purpose. She had made love with her husband before, many times, but this time she just knew that it was different. The only marital information Angela had ever gotten from her mother happened when she had specifically asked a question about babies. “How do you know?” was all Angela had asked. Her mother had smiled and responded, “You just know.”

At the time Angela had been angry with this response. She had no idea what was meant by this vague explanation, but then on the night of the ball she found her answer. She felt it herself and she knew for the first time exactly what her mother meant. It was not something that could be described. Only something that could be felt. Yes, when a woman becomes pregnant she just knows. She can feel it inside. She can feel it in her actual soul.

But the smart noble woman Angela had been raised to be, she knew that she could not reveal her delicate situation until she had proof. So she waited one month and then another for her courses to fail. And as she waited she got scared.

She was not scared of the pregnancy or even of giving birth, she was scared by how Andrew had been acting lately. She had expected some problems after that day in the alley but when they had been intimate the night of the ball Angela had felt a connection with her husband that was stronger than ever before. But when Angela woke the next morning and found that Andrew had slept on the sofa in his room and left her alone in the bed, Angela knew the truth. Her worst fear had happened. She had hardened her husband’s heart towards her.

There was nothing she could do about that. There was nothing she could do about it ever. So she did the only thing she could do; reveal her intimate secret to her husband. She had chosen her moment carefully. According to her supreme intelligence, Angela had waited until they were seated in church one Sunday morning to lean over to her husband and reveal her secret.

He said nothing and she became worried. She listened as intently as she could and realized that her husband had actually stopped breathing. It wasn’t until she shook him and called out his name, inciting a near riot in the middle of the service that he responded.

“You’re sure?” His eyes were glazed in wetness and his voice tinged with pride.

“I am absolutely positive. You will be a father. You have an heir.”

Andrew smiled and felt a warmth spread through his body but he was unsure how to feel. He had not grown up in this life. He had never expected to be the heir to a noble title, and therefore, he had never expected to be required to produce an heir. Of course he had always wanted a son, someone to teach all that he knew and pass on his knowledge and name. But he had never expected to be in this situation that required him to produce an heir. Angela’s words caught him off guard but he didn’t want to take time to acknowledge it. He was too excited with the news. He was going to be a father, have an heir, a son, and he was absolutely elated at the prospect. He gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. He knew he had had some say in the situation, but it was Angela, his wife, who was keeping the child. Andrew turned his face forward and smiled, and for the first time since they had left Beldon he felt truly content.

***

The news of her condition spread quickly and before she knew it, everyone was flocking to visit her. She was congratulated daily for being able to conceive an heir and even Andrew had joined in the merriment.

But the most unexpected circumstance of all had come with the unexpected visit of some family members. It was early one Tuesday morning in October when Angela received word that she had important visitors. It was Mary. Angela had been sending her correspondence since the first day she arrived at the Dillard’s estate in London. She had confided to her about Andrew’s new status before anyone else knew. She told her about the baby the very moment she had suspected its existence, even before Andrew had a clue. Of course, Mary had responded with elation immeasurable to anything Angela could compare it to. She alone was supporting the marriage. She alone was telling Angela that this marriage was more than necessity and physical attraction. So for these reasons, as Angela walked down the hall and around the corner, she was absolutely overjoyed to meet with her beloved cousin and friend.

As she descended the stairway a smile spread across her face and she was not surprised. Finally, after four months of pregnancy she would have someone with whom she could confide, someone to talk to about all of the changes in her life; physical and otherwise. Until this very moment there had been no one. There was Andrew, obviously but it wasn’t really common place for wives to talk to their husbands about such things. There had been a time when Angela might have thought it possible to pour out her very heart and soul to Andrew but ever since… ever since that day, she knew that an intimacy of that level would not be possible.

But when she came around the final corner and into the main room she was taken by surprise.

The family standing before her was not Mary.

It was her mother and her father.

Angela nearly fainted when she recognized her visitors. She put her hands to her bulging belly for comfort before standing up tall and facing them with strength.

“Hello.” And then she temporarily lost her words. “To what do I owe the… honor of your presence?”

Angela’s mother was the first to speak. “We heard the news; both of your status and delicate condition.” She lowered her head almost as if she was shamed and then lifted her eyes slowly to meet her daughters. “We wanted to come and see how you were faring. Wish you the best.”

Angela was speechless but the emotions began to build up inside of her.

“I wanted to,” Lord Cheston had begun to talk but his voice, obviously choked up, had caused him to pause. “I wanted to apologize for what I did… the night of your birthday.”

And then Angela fond her words. “Why apologize now?”

“Well,” began her mother, “despite what we thought you have obviously made a great decision for your life…You are a countess, your husband an earl!”

“Yes,” her father added. “I wanted to apologize for what I said. I should have never second guessed your decisions. You obviously knew what you were doing. You obviously had a purpose…”

Angela’s mouth fell open. “A purpose? I didn’t know what I was doing then any more than I know what I am doing now! Do you think I expected this? That I anticipated this?”

Her father the baron stuttered. “Well…I…”

“I am the same woman now that I was over a year ago!” Angela’s voice bellowed from her body. “I did not get involved with Andrew to raise my status! Are you insane? He was a servant when I met him; a servant when I married him; a servant for the first year of our marriage!”

“But you are smart!”

“Yes, you have always had a purpose!”

Her parents were trying to justify her actions in a way that had nothing to do with her.

“I am exactly the same woman now that I was then. If you could not accept me then, you cannot accept me now.”

Angela stared straight into the eyes of her parents, piercing their very confidence with her gaze.

“Well, I… we have always…” but that was as far as they got.

“That’s what I thought. Please leave. I have no need for you here.”

Her voice was firm and strict as if she had practiced these very lines for years.

“I…”

“Did my voice falter, mother…father?” She moved her eyes slowly between both of her parents. “I thought I was quite clear. You are not welcome here.”

And with that her parent’s turned slowly and left the estate, very aware of what they had done to deserve this rejection. And Angela, with not even a single tear in her eyes, turned around and walked back up the stairs, full of pride for refusing to give up her power.

***

She often found herself thinking about the future of her son. There was no doubt in her mind that this wonderful baby would be exactly like his father. He would be strong and determined and powerful. No son of the Bennett-Wilson-Dillard family could be anything less. Angela gently placed her hands on top of her stomach as a smile spread across her face. She would soon have a baby; a wonderful, beautiful, strong baby. He would grow up to be the next Earl of Dillard just like his father, but he would be prepared. Their son would be prepared for this life better than anyone ever had been before. His parents would know both the life of nobility and commoners and would, therefore, be able to teach him about all aspects of life.

Again Angela gently rubbed the bulge of her stomach. Her child, her beloved son was in there, just waiting to be born. She couldn’t wait to meet him. Her child, her reason for life.

But it was at this exact moment that her mind wandered to a different place. When it came to nobility it was always assumed that an unborn child was a son. But that was not always the case. Sometimes the child was actually a daughter. Sometimes the unborn child was a female, unwanted and unloved… or over praised and idolized as she herself had been.

What if her child was not an heir? What if, just what if the child she was soon to give birth to was a female? What kind of life could she expect? Angela’s stomach twisted at the thought.

Prayers flowed into her head.

Please dear God that this child will not experience the same life I did. Please dear God that this child will be a male.

***

It had taken Andrew four months but he finally found the courage to approach Lady Dillard, his grandmother. After waiting so long, he had not wanted to skirt around the issue and had just come right out and asked the questions of his heart.

“Why?”

He had not had to emphasize; Lady Dillard knew exactly what he spoke of. Andrew was curious about his father and the way his life had turned out.

“Your father…was not perfect. By anyone’s standards. He was a flawed, troubled man...” She had not looked up from her novel and Andrew sensed that her face was full of emotions she did not want to show him. But he needed answers desperately, so he moved in close to her, kneeled down, and looked directly up into her eyes. They were moist and in pain as he had assumed.

Andrew took a deep breath. Somehow he understood exactly what Lady Dillard was saying but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Andrew leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms firmly across his chest. She had finally looked up from her novel. She closed it demurely and set it down on the table next to her chair.

“I can understand him refusing to acknowledge me if I am a bastard but…”

Lady Dillard removed her handkerchief from her pocket and softly dabbed it at the corner of her eyes. She folded it carefully, placed it back in her pocket, and met eyes with Andrew.

“The newly acknowledged son of an Earl you may be, but a bastard you are not.”

The features of Andrew’s face, hardened with his new role in life, began to grow soft again as he heard these words.

“Aye, you hear me correctly. I say you are not a bastard. You could not be the heir if you were. You have heard the tales no doubt, of your mother leaving us for a while before coming back with child?”

Andrew’s head bobbed up and down.

“Well she was not alone. She ran away with your father and they were married; planned on staying gone forever and leaving this world behind.”

Lady Dillard pulled a worn piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. The tear stains were obvious. “I was there you hear, witnessed the marriage and signed as a witness. How do you think I was able to guarantee your title with such little resistance? Your Grandfather did not know. He would have
never
approved as you can imagine, but I just… I just wanted him to be happy…” She cleared her throat. “Yes, planned on staying gone forever they did, but when your mother got pregnant she got very sick and so your father brought her back here, at least until you were born.”

“But the other servants…” Andrew’s head was spinning and Lady Dillard just smiled.