The Widower's Wife (8 page)

Jillian obediently followed her into the house, adoring the woman already. Lisa was close at her heels, while Dalton headed in the direction Jenny had disappeared. Their things, along with dinner, were packed in the wagon long before Dalton and Jenny returned. Aunt Betty excused herself to go back inside the house to get their own dinner finished up. Her husband, Ned, had made an afternoon trip into town and would be returning home shortly.

Rather than wait in the wagon, Jillian sat down on the porch. Little Brenn was sleepy again and rested his head against her right shoulder as she patted his back. Lisa had taken the opportunity to snuggle up under her left arm. She began humming a soft melody she remembered hearing somewhere. Her arms felt full and warmed by the tender souls tucked safely there. She smiled peacefully to herself.

Dalton came around the corner of the house, dragging a reluctant Jenny behind him. All at once, he came to an abrupt halt.

Jillian sat on the front porch steps with his two youngest children. Brenn was sleeping soundly on one shoulder, while Lisa was nodding off, snuggled under her other arm. The feeling of
déjà vu
came over him. How much more could his heart take? In a flood of emotions, he was taken back in time once again.

“Dalton!” Laurellyn came running out through the door as he headed through the gate.

“Whoa!” he called to the horses and brought the wagon to a halt. He wondered what he had forgotten, and then he saw the pail in her hand.

“Dalton!” she called again. She was out of breath by the time she reached the wagon. “You forgot your lunch.” As she reached up to hand it to him, Dalton bent down and with hardly any effort at all, lifted her up and set her on his lap. By her smile, he knew she’d caught the look of mischief in his eyes.

“So you decided to come with me after all, did you?”

Laurellyn playfully punched him on the arm. “Now, Dalton McCullough, you put me down this minute. You know I can’t go with you. I promised Aunt Betty I’d help her put up beans today.” She sighed. A whole day in the kitchen would be sheer torture for her. She loved to raise vegetables and fruit, but cooking and canning them, well, those were all very different things to her.

“Well, seeing as you came running out this way, why don’t I make it worth your while?” He winked and wrapped his arms around her a little tighter. She giggled and snuggled in a little closer. Just then Jenny came barreling down the walk. Reluctantly, he loosened his hold. “Well, my lady, you were saved from your devouring . . . I mean,
devoted
husband by a four-year-old chaperone with a keen sense of the wrong time to interrupt.” She laughed and kissed his cheek, and he let her back down to the ground.

“I’ll be back about an hour or so before sunset.” Smiling, he added, “Have fun with Aunt Betty today!” Dalton watched as she visibly cringed before he chuckled and drove the wagon away.

He was driving into Darlington to buy supplies and some new equipment for the farm. Most of his trips went by without incident, but this trip wouldn’t prove to be one of those times. It was fraught with problems from the beginning. A little over halfway there, Old Decker was spooked by a rattler that had ventured onto the road, and the horse bolted, dragging the other horse along. Dalton quickly got both horses under control, but not before the wagon had veered off hard to the left. The rim was knocked loose from the back left wheel when it hit a rock in the ditch.

“Confounded horse,” he grumbled. “You’re always spooking too easily for your own good.” Years ago, his father had bought Old Decker as a favor to an old gambler who was passing through town and was down on his luck. The horse had been old then, but hadn’t minded hard work—an important requirement for farm life. When he was finished with the harvest come summer, Dalton had already decided that he would have to start looking for another horse. It was time to put Old Decker out to pasture. He was getting too lazy and stubborn in his old age. It had taken Dalton an hour to patch the wheel well enough to get him the rest of the way into town.

When Dalton had finally made it to Darlington, it hadn’t been easy to find a blacksmith that was both reasonable and available to fix the wheel in a relatively short amount of time. As he waited for the repair, he purchased the items he had come for; walking them one at a time back to the blacksmith’s to load them into his wagon. The sun was already setting when he left town and headed for home.

With the trouble-filled day finally almost over, he was both frustrated and exhausted when he turned the wagon into the gate and started up to the house. His family hadn’t noticed his arrival yet, so he brought the wagon to a stop as he contemplated the scene before him.

Laurellyn was perched on the porch and strands of her long blonde hair were lifting in turns as the light breeze caught beneath them. It almost had an ethereal look to it. One-year-old Lisa was snuggled up under her chin, and Jenny was leaning on her lap, listening intently. He could hear the faint but beautiful musical strains of a melody carry over to him on the breeze.

Suddenly, she looked over at him and their gazes locked. The love that passed between them at that moment was so pure, so strong; he could feel the bands that tied their hearts together pulling him even closer to her. A feeling of knowing and belonging washed over him. A feeling of “coming home.” Something whispered then and confirmed what he already knew: this was his heaven on earth.

As Dalton stood looking at Jillian and he heard the soft melody she was humming, the same feeling had overcome him. At once, he put up his defenses to fight against it. In a futile attempt to hold back the new emotions, he reached into his pocket and desperately closed his fingers around Laurellyn’s cameo for the second time that day.
Laurellyn is my home
, he reassured himself. His heart was hers and hers alone.

“Jenny!”

Startled, Jillian stopped humming and looked up when she heard Dalton’s voice. He was looking directly at her, seemingly frozen in place, and Jenny was standing a few feet behind him. His voice was tinged with frustration, but the look on his face was painful.

“Go get in the wagon!” he called over his shoulder at his daughter. Jenny made no move toward the wagon, and this time Dalton turned to look at her when he spoke.

“Jennifer Laura McCullough.” He hadn’t raised his voice, but Jillian could tell he meant business. “You go get in the wagon this minute.” The little girl was stubborn, for sure. Jillian could see she was trembling, but she wore a look of sheer willpower and determination.

For a moment, Jillian thought Jenny would remain standing where she was, but then her stubborn look broke and she walked toward the wagon. Jenny climbed in, but not before sending Jillian a venomous glare. Then she sat down hard, with her back to her family.

Just as Jillian stood up to walk over to the wagon herself, Aunt Betty came back out of the house. Jillian could tell Aunt Betty was assessing the situation with a quick sweep of her eyes. She turned to Jillian and gave her an encouraging smile and then turned and spoke to Dalton.

“Well, you seem to have found Jenny all right. You best be gettin’ on home now.” To Jillian, she added, “I’ll drop on by in a few days to check on how you’re doin’ and see if I can help you out with anything.”

Jillian nodded and smiled her thanks before taking Lisa’s hand and heading over to the wagon, still carrying the sleeping Brenn in her arms. As she walked, her eyes were drawn back to Dalton’s pain-stricken face. Seeing that look of pain again made her suddenly apprehensive, and she quickly turned her own gaze back toward the wagon, but not before noticing the stern look and nod Aunt Betty gave Dalton in her direction. He was at her side in an instant, lifting little Lisa in the wagon beside Jenny and taking Brenn from her as he helped her up on to the wagon seat. She noticed, however, that he tried to keep their contact as brief as possible and avoided looking into her eyes.

After handing the sleeping babe back up to her, Dalton did something she hadn’t expected. He walked back to the porch where Aunt Betty still stood watching and gathered the older woman up into a loving embrace. He held her for a long moment before he began speaking softly. His back was to her, and Jillian could not make out what he was saying, but as he whispered into Aunt Betty’s ear, she could see a pool of emotions ripple across the older woman’s face. The first was love. Jillian already had a deep sense of how much Aunt Betty loved Dalton and his children, so she was not surprised. The next were worry, understanding, and then sorrow. Jillian’s apprehension returned. She wished she could hear what Dalton was saying. The last emotion to float across Aunt Betty’s face was one of peace, and its afterglow was not wasted on Jillian.

Dalton didn’t know why he had such a strong impulse to go back and hug Aunt Betty, but suddenly he felt an overwhelming need for the comfort and reassurance he knew he would find in her warm embrace. She understood his pain and his loss. She and Uncle Ned had raised Laurellyn since she was a small child. When Laurellyn’s father had died during the war, she and her mother had come to live with her mother’s sister, Betty. Her mother, who had never been able to get over the loss of her husband, had succumbed to a lingering illness the following winter. Uncle Ned and Aunt Betty had loved Laurellyn as their own, and he knew they now loved him like a son too. He needed any strength he could glean from his aunt right then. He had almost lost control of his emotions a moment ago. Why was this woman he hardly knew challenging his resolve to never love again?

He had made the right decision, hadn’t he? Though he was torn and frustrated, he knew he shouldn’t question his choice. It would be the same as questioning his faith in God. He had received an answer to his prayers, a confirmation that marrying this woman and bringing her here was the right thing to do. He could feel in his heart that she was a loving woman who would nurture and care unconditionally for his three young children. They needed her love and compassion—especially Jenny. This was what he had prayed so earnestly for. It was all that he wanted. He wasn’t looking for love himself. He had long ago become resolved to the fact that though he had only been given such a short time with Laurellyn, it had been enough to sustain him until they were together again in the next life. Why then was he being assaulted today with one emotion after another—challenging his commitment to his departed wife?

Before he released Aunt Betty, a new sense of resolve came over him. He would be stronger. It wouldn’t be hard. He had many memories to call upon. If he kept Laurellyn alive in his mind and in his heart, this arrangement would work. Now he needed to comfort Aunt Betty. She worried about the children and him too much. She and Uncle Ned were getting older, and maybe now, with Jillian here, she wouldn’t have to worry so much.

He leaned back a little and whispered in her ear. “I know you worry about me and the children, but you need to know I am sure I have done the right thing . . . for them anyway. I have felt that much in my heart, and my prayers have been confirmed. Laurellyn will be pleased I have fulfilled my promise to her. The only part I intend to fulfill, anyway.” He paused, sighing deeply, and then continued, “I know you don’t agree with our arrangement, but you know how it was with Laurellyn and me. She will always own my heart. I have nothing else to offer another woman. If it weren’t for the children—” he paused again. He was about to say that if it weren’t for the children, Jillian wouldn’t be here, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Why? He was tempted to look back at her, but he forced himself to remain as he was. “Aunt Betty, you’ll see. It’ll work out as I have planned. . . . All will be well.” A feeling he didn’t understand washed over him, and he felt compelled to say the words again, this time a little more reverently. “All will be well.” He then turned, walked back to the wagon, and climbed in.

They were just exiting the gate and heading for home when Dalton saw Uncle Ned approaching in his own wagon. Dalton felt compelled to stop momentarily, out of respect, to offer a polite greeting. He reined in the horses.

“Good evening, Uncle Ned. It’s good to see you.” Ned had been good to him and his parents over the years.

“Well, hello there, Dalton! I expected you would have fetched those young’uns and been long gone by now!” Uncle Ned exclaimed.

Dalton answered, “Had a bit of trouble at the station, I’m afraid. I was late getting there, and it caused us quite the mishap.”

Uncle Ned raised his eyebrow but didn’t inquire further. Instead, he looked over at Jillian and gave her a warm grin. “You must be the new missus, I presume.” He winked. “I didn’t think our Dalton would ever get around to marryin’ again. I’d be pleased if you’d be helpin’ to put some of the fun back into him. He’s as sour as an old pickle most of the time.” He chuckled softly to himself. “Well, seein’ as you’re so late gettin’ back, I suppose I ought to let you be on your way. It was nice makin’ your acquaintance, dear. I’m sure we’ll be seein’ a lot of you.”

As Dalton was pulling the wagon the rest of the way through the gate, he heard Uncle Ned insist, “Now, Jenny Bugs, don’t you be givin’ your new ma a hard time now. You make your Uncle Ned proud, ya hear?”

Dalton thought to himself,
It’s a little late for that.

Uncle Ned parked the wagon and joined his wife on the porch. He stood next to her, and they both watched Dalton’s wagon turn the corner up the road until it was eventually out of sight.

“That there new wife of his sure is a looker,” Uncle Ned commented.

“Poor Dalton,” Aunt Betty answered her husband absentmindedly. She was still thinking about what Dalton had said to her before he left. “He’s been havin’ a real hard time of it today. I imagine he got the worst of it at the train station . . . wasn’t expectin’ such a pretty thing to come steppin’ off the train, that’s for sure—the stubborn boy.” She suddenly smiled knowingly. “He thinks he can keep his heart sealed up and closed off by gettin’ married this way. Has it all planned out, I imagine—sleepin’ in separate rooms and everything. He doesn’t realize that it’s hard to keep from lovin’ a woman who loves your children so. She’d never even met those babes until today, and she’s already endeared them in her heart. I have a real good feelin’ about this right now, a real good feelin’.” She put her arm through her husband’s and gave it a squeeze. She reverently added, “I wouldn’t be surprised if our Laurellyn had a hand in this.” With that, she wiped a tear away with the corner of her apron and went into the house to serve her husband his dinner.

Little Brenn had snuggled into Jillian’s chest as they rode away and fallen asleep immediately. What a special feeling it was to mother a child. Jillian had tended other people’s children many times, but at the end of the day, she knew she would go her way and leave them with their mothers. Even though she had loved them, it wasn’t the same. There was always that separation and lack of belonging. She was the mother of these children now, and their faces were branded onto her heart already. She couldn’t explain the joy that filled her bosom. She smiled down again at the little boy in her arms. She thought of little Lisa and her whimsical ways. Last, she turned to look at Jenny. She could tell the child was straining to hold back a flow of tears. Oh, Jenny, she thought. Please don’t lock me out. Just let me love you. I won’t try to replace your mother but . . . please, please . . . just let me love you. Jillian then sent a fervent plea heavenward and turned back to face the road. She missed the single tear that escaped its confines and traveled slowly down Jenny’s face.