The Willows (41 page)

Uniting them might be the one way to
make amends. If she did no other good indeed in this life, she
would somehow get father daughter together. In all honesty, she
might not be stronger bold enough to openly battle her father, but
maybe her good friend, Hamilton, would help. At the least, he could
help find Gwen and bring her back.

But they have to hurry, she thought,
glancing over her shoulder to the room she just left. John’s time
was running out

***

Michael banked his boat, half relieved
to see no one stirring about the cabin. He had put off this visit
for three days, making one excuse after another, until this morning
he got tired of playing the coward. He would have to face Gwen
eventually, he reason. Better to just get it over with and
done.

Yet he felt vastly on easy as he
approached the cabin. It still embarrassed them, how truly he lost
control. True, he’d been drinking the night, making the situation
more volatile, but when had he ever remained in control with that
woman? She had a way of warming under his skin, burrowing in under
his defenses, until all that stood between them was his
anger.

In anger, he feared, that grew more
force with every encounter.

She cannot stay here. They’re what had
to be some changes. And that is why he came home today.

But when he opened the porch door, and
found nothing inside but a big empty room, he needs to do battle
slowly drained away. Setting his package-the cocoa for Gwen–on the
table, he realize how lonely his place seam with nobody in
it.

Into his mind came the image of Gwen,
sitting with the children gathered around her, as they talked about
helping him build a home. It had touched him more than he cared to
admit, for in them magical, moment, he’d seen a family, his family,
and for instant, the world had made a perfect scene.

But then he started talking about
playing Camelot, and he snapped back to reality. He was playing his
own little fantasy, if he could pretend these things would ever
work out well. How could he? Without a loan extension, there never
would be a home. And once she learn what a hopeless dreamer he was,
Gwen would be gone in a single shot.

Looking about the quiet room, felt the
loneliness sweep into him, infecting him. She wasn’t even gone yet,
and already he found himself missing her.

Angry, he went outside. There was no
sense in delaying the confrontation. Must find Gwen and explain the
decision. If at the end of it, she still didn’t see reason, well,
he’d took her once. He could just as easily take her back
home.

Even as he thought this, he heard her
behind the cabin. Instantly, he remembered the top, and the hot
excitement of holding her in his arms, and it was with firm
attention that he put such memories aside.

Rounding the cabin, he saw Gwen
standing before a table, frowning at the knife in her hand and the
fish lay before her. She was quite a sight, with her hair escaped
from its not in dipping down to block her vision, her blue dress
streaked with blood. Where was the high mighty Queen Gwen? Michael
thought with a reluctant smile. This female looked more like a half
mad murderess.

Grimacing, she grabbed for the fish,
but her slimy victim slipped from her grasp, causing the knife to
stab the table instead. As she yanked the blade free, and
unladylike oath issued from her mouth.

He watched her try again and again,
each attack more futile than the last, until he found it impossible
to hide his amusement. “What the hell are you doing?” He said,
moving closer to the table.

She looked up in surprise, using the
back of her hand to push the hair from her eyes. “Isn’t it obvious?
I am fighting this fish. And the fish is winning?”

“
Hands down.” She perked her
lips, she grinned. “I suppose I should say, fins down. I admit it,
I know absolutely nothing about this dreadful creatures, other than
they are wet and slimy and give off a terrible smell.”

“
Mind if I ask why you are
wrestling with this one?”

“
Is my job, since I can’t
fish.” She shrugged. “Jude got frustrated, trying to teach me how
to get that wiggly worm on the hook, that she decided I might be
better at cleaning. I agreed, how hard could it be to rinse off
some dead fish in a bucket? I think you can imagine my dismay when
she mentioned splitting them open, but by then, it was too late to
back down. I’d already given my word.”

“
She didn’t show you how to
clean them?”

Gwen shook her head. “I think it’s a
test. If I managed to clean these fish, I’ll move one step closer
to being accepted.”

She looked so honest, so appealing real
with her messed up hair and dirty face, he forgot that she’d soon
be leaving. All he could think of was trying to help her. “Here,”
he said, stepping up to take the knife from her hand. “Let me show
you how it’s done.”

Nodding, she watched instantly as he
explain how to grab the fish by the tail. She tried not to wince,
as he gutted it to remove the blood and guts, but she went
decidedly pale as he scaled and filleted it. Showing no mercy, he
reached into the bucket for another. “Here, now your
turn.”

She gulp and made a face, but she
tackled the job with grim determination. Holding the tail, she
began to slip up the back. Even as Michael reached at to stay her
hand, he saw his mistake, for the mere touch of her flesh sent his
senses reeling. Even dirty and smelling of fish, she tempted him
more than any other female had ever done.

Her eyes searched his, questioning him,
making them question himself. He had come here to send her away, he
tried to remind himself, but he couldn’t for the life of him
remember why.

Yanking back his hand, explain roughly
that it was the fish’s belly she must cut, before moving to the
nearby basin to wash his hands. Standing near her clouded his
judgment, he decided. He became all too aware a what women like
Gwen could offer to the right man. Better he keep his distance,
here on the far side of the table. Then he could say what he came
here to say.

But watching her when her battle with
the fish, he found it hard to find the right words. This wasn’t the
spoiled, conceded female had brought here; somehow, over the past
few weeks, Gwen had changed for the better. Maybe she had done so
to earn the children’s respect, but however much he might try to
deny it, it she was also impressing him as well.

“
I wanted to apologize for
my behavior the other night.” Frowned. That wasn’t what he wanted
to say.

She looked up in surprise. “But there
is no need–’’

“
I am sorry for how I
acted,” he went on, here it’s hated that he kept letting himself
get sidetracked, “but not for what I said. I meant it, when I said
I would be sending you home.”

He expected relief, or perhaps even a
token of protest, but once more, she surprised him. Blowing a
strand of hair from her eyes, she shook her head. “No,” he said
matter-of-factly. “You need me here with the children.”

“
Not if I take them to the
mother’s family in New Orleans.”

Again she shook her head. “If that were
a viable solution, you would have already done it. Kidnapping a
vein and selfish woman seems a tad desperate, not to mention
unnecessary, if you can rely on this absent family. The children
claim their grandparents don’t want the many ways.”

“
Oh, they want them all
right.” Hard to keep the bitterness out of his tone. “They can’t
resist the chance to prove yet again that they are
right.”

“
Right?”

“
They maintain that my
mother married beneath her, that my father was a hopeless dreamer,
and everything he touched was doomed to fail. A trait they claimed
I inherited from him. By the time they are done with those
children, not one of them will want to know me at all.”

Gwen stared at him, into him. “Oh
Michael,” she said quietly.

“
How awful it must have been
for you.”

He shrugged. “I managed.”

She nodded, excepting his boldfaced
lie, and he liked her better for it. “Your mother and sister did
not fare as well, did they?”

He flinched, remembering the pain as if
it were yesterday. “Losing my father was hard enough, but listening
them slowly pick away at his image destroyed my mother and sister.
They had lost their anchor, and the new man of the house, I was too
young and green and financially dependent to fight for them. My
grandparents talked about love and loyalty, yet made us feel like
peasants begging for each meal. We had one long year of such
torment before my mother gave up and died, and Jeanette ran off
with Morteau. I often think she chose that monster to punish our
grandparents, for he personified every vile thing they’d ever said
about my father.”

“
Your poor sister. In the
end, she managed to punish only herself.” Gwen side the sound heavy
on the soft afternoon breeze.

Michael marveled rolled out her
understanding. He wondered how she done it, gotten him to talk
about things he had never even shared with Jeffrey. Strange thing
was, he didn’t feel foolish for confining in her, just felt
relief.

“
They sound like horrible
people.” She said slowly, as if thinking aloud. “Must you do this?
Can you truly consider sending the children there?”

He looked away, unable to bear her
stare. She saw too much. Any moment, she’d be telling him what a
weak, useless dreamer he was, as well. “Listen, my
lady-“

The knife stabbed into the table with a
Dull thud. “No, you listen to me, Michael. I might not seem like
the ideal solution, but the children and I are getting along now.
Why not leave them with me?”

“
You wanted to be going
home.”

“
To what? My father doesn’t
speak to me, and I get the distinction that my cousin wished I
would us stayed in Boston. I am not missing much in the
Willows.”

“
It won’t work.
You-“

“
It can, too. I can pull my
share. I’m learning to cook, and scrub, and I can clean fish, even
if I can’t catch them. Well, sort of.” Glancing down at the table,
she began to laugh. “If this isn’t the height of irony. When did we
switch sides? I can’t believe I actually arguing to stay in that
cabin.”

“
You are now calling it a
cabin.” He felt his own reluctant beginning of a smile.

“
Sometimes.” She gave him a
sheepish grin. “The point is why are we arguing? My staying with
the children is a practical solution which can benefit us both. You
will be free to do whatever you must to get them that home, and I
will get to prove I am not nearly as useless as everyone thinks.
Perhaps I’m being selfish, but I need to do this, Michael. I want
to be needed by someone.”

That hit them, harder in deeper than he
thought possible. And never occur to him that she might be as
lonely as he.

“
Please, can we call a
truce? Just start all over and work together this time.”

Tell her no,
logic demanded, but a tiny hope ignited inside
him. “It would mean I’d have to be gone even more,” he said,
thinking aloud.

He didn’t bat a flash. “You will do
what you need to do, I imagine.”

He tilted his head, trying to figure
her out. He wanted to think she could believe in him, but
experience had taught him better. “And what if I’m no better than
my father?” He challenged. “What if I’m just a hopeless
dreamer?”

She leaned forward, her features
intense. “There is nothing wrong with dreaming, your father died
young, before he could make his dreams come true, which is a darn
sight better than what happened with my father. He once had a
dream, too, but he let it die prematurely, and everything he built
went to ruins.”

“
Gwen-“

“
No, I’m not finished. Don’t
let them take away your dream, Michael. Not your grandparents, not
those bankers, not anyone.”

She turned back to her work. Looking at
her, watching her fight as she hacked at the fish, he realize she’d
come at him from yet another direction. “What game are you playing
now? I feel as if I’m talking to an entirely different
person.”

“
Maybe I am different, but
you know, I wonder if deep inside, this is who I have always been.
Lately, I’ve been so busy being angry at my mother, first for
demanding that I be a lady, then for dying and leaving me alone,
maybe I have been working too hard not to be like her.”

Taking a deep breath, Gwen went on.
“Being with the children helps me see how silly that was. Life is
too precious to waste with tantrums and whining, and trying to fit
into someone else’s mold. And it’s too darn short and lonely, if we
don’t spend it with the ones we love.”

“
We? Why do I get the
feeling I am being lectured?”

“
You have been working too
hard, Michael. You should take time to enjoy your niece and nephews
while you can. I happen to know that they will happily wait for a
house. It is you they want, not four walls and a roof.”